Today is the last day of July, hence the last day I can blog about anything birthday related. Which is why I’m dragging myself out of brain-implant / transplant recovery to write about the last bottle of Stormhoek Limited Edition 2004 Guava Pinotage I got from Chris for my birthday. (Luckily I can now ‘Blog Just By Thinking thanks to new brain. rad.) I’m not a drinker (as some of you may have gathered), but reigun and 5starRich will bear witness to my having a quarter-glass of this stuff over the course of the birthday month. It’s also made my guests super happy, who normally have to choose between 5 roses tea / water / Coke Light. Plus it looks totally hot in my kitchen. So I’m thinking I’ll get some more of this stuff and keep my cabinet full. Thanks Chris :)
The good stuff.
PS. Did you know Stormhoek is MASSIVE overseas? Yep. Last time I was in LA it’s the only wine I saw ppl drinking. PPS. Blog BFF Seth is in LA at the moment. Check out his adventures here.
Posted in alcohol, cool products, free stuff, my real life, small interesting brands
Tagged 2004, birthday, chris, gifts, guava, limited edition, my branded life, pinotage, rawlinson, south african, stormhoek, wine
Panda. Bread. I’ll leave you with that. PS. going into hospital tomorrow to have a brain implant that makes me less cynical and ‘more happy’. My first time under general anaesthetic. True Story. Will keep you updated.
Can you handle the rad?
Hey yulle. Been a little concerned lately that I am ‘slightly offensive’ to some ppl. My mom tells me I am funny and that ‘I shouldn’t change my blog for anyone’ but I’m not sold. Am pretty sure there’s a point at which I will offend the fans who LOL at my Psychographic Profiles at some time or other, and then it will just be me, writing and eating chicken wraps, thinking of ‘the good old days when ppl liked me & gave me iPhones and clicked on my links’.
Been looking at some case studies to establish best practice in Personality Insurance strategies. Found this to be pretty true:
Based on Alex’s Celebrity Study 2009 © one can pretty much conclude that ‘parading around telling people you believe in Jesus’ will allow you to get away with being a total sluttard (totally coined a new word).
Miss Montag. One of my heroes. And the hero of most ambitious young women out there.
Same study also says that ‘lording around as if you own the place, when you do own the place (and own other places)’ will allow you to get away with being a sluttard.
My runner up hero. I respect her because she came from nothing and earned everything she has herself.
Since I don’t really own anything and am more into ‘being given stuff’ I may have to go the Jesus route. What do y’uls think? Does Jesus suit my hair colour? Is it a rad scene? Does my personal brand allow for something like a ‘religious sub-brand’? Will I be cannibalizing my own brand by taking out personality insurance? What does my brand bible say about this?
Hmm. Does anyone know if Jesus is real? Maybe they can test it on Mythbusters or something. That would be a rad episode. To conclude, I drew a graph.
Some insights for your next strategic meeting.
Until Mythbusters proves Jesus is real I’m just gonna sit tight on my Personality Insurance application. Have any of y’ulle got a better deal than being Christian or rich? Should I call the hippo on TV and let it ‘find me the best quote’ for Personality Insurance? Wish it wasn’t so complicated. Feels like the Personality Insurance industry is pretty stuck in the dark ages. Someone tell them to ‘get on twitter’.
Posted in branding, innovation, purchase process, twitter
Tagged become christian, become rich, graph, heidi montag, my branded life, offending people, paris hilton, personality insurance, slut tard, sluttard
Captured by Reigun and his Diana F+, from the birthday. It is still July. I have until the end of the month to talk about the birthday / accept birthday gifts / refer to the birthday / post pictures from the birthday.
Portrait of the blogger and her boyfriend's chin
Portrait of the blogger with her 'real writer' friend Lauren.
Portrait of the Diana camera by the Diana camera (I don't know how he did it either).
I wear Mac Hat while watchy moon landing.
“Tread softly, for you tread on my dreams.”
I am an intern,
And I take myself very seriously.
I go to an expensive advertising school,
Where they teach me to be a designer and an art director and a copywriter and a marketer and a client service person,
And when I graduate,
I will be the most amazing advertising being,
And you will all bow down to me
And my Cre8ive Recreation sneakers,
That I bought on sale
At Poppa Trunks
(which is more of a T-shirt store than a sneaker store, just FYI)
I am an intern,
And I am frustrated.
How am I supposed to show off my genius
When the internet doesn’t even work in this sh*thole agency
(oops – did I say that aloud?)
Also no one is telling me how to work the frikkin’ printer,
What do you expect me to just ‘figure it out myself’?
What kind of a show is this?
I am an intern.
I’m giving up my holiday so I can be ‘assured of a job’,
So just shut up about the rece$$ion because rece$$ions only affect mediocre people,
And I am not mediocre bro.
I am the top of my class
(why else would I be here?)
All my lecturers say I’m brilliant,
I even have ‘genius’ written across my portfolio
(Just as a joke, but I actually really mean it),
And my lecturer also says I will suit a ‘creative’ agency
More than a corporate one,
Even though my lecturer says I am versatile enough to handle both.
I am an intern.
The senior copywriter teases me.
I frikking hate her, stupid bitch.
She thinks she is soooo smart,
Always cracking her sarcastic jokes.
I’ll show her, I’ll put her in her place.
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit”
even though she’s actually using irony
(my writing course wasn’t that in-depth).
I’ll just call her on it,
And she’ll know who she’s dealing with.
I am an intern.
Just wish I could graduate and start working already.
I’m sick of pretend,
I’m ready for the real world.
Just wanna get out there and make some ads.
Am sooooooooo frustrated,
And the frikking internet is soooo slow,
Facebook won’t frikking upload pictures.
Gonna text my friend and invite him to the bar
And pretend I ‘own this joint’,
And offer him beer as if it is my own
I am an intern
Where’s. My. Desk.
Posted in advertising, creatives, people i work with, poetry, SA cool kids, youth
Tagged AAA, advertising, advertising school, interns, my branded life, poetry, Psychographic Profiles, red and yellow, south africa, Vega