Monthly Archives: October 2009

Which faded international celebrity should i humiliate (via writing them into an ad?)

Ice ice... baby? More like grown man? Middle-aged dude? "Ice-Ice Middle-Aged dude." Has a ring 2 it.

A new trend is slippy sliding round the S-Africanland advertising ideas adoption curve y’ulz. Am HUGE proud of Ogilvy CT for starting it. Y’ulz are geniuses. This trend is called:

“Humiliate a faded international celeb via writing them into an ad”.


Loves it. Can’t wait 2 humiliate my own faded international celeb. Who d’yulz thanks it should be?

Stephanie "I did meth to cope with the lameness of Full House" Tanner?

Stephanie "I did meth to cope with the lameness of Full House" Tanner?

Miyam Balik aka Blossom? She'd be gr8 in an ad 4 'how rad it is 2 be jewish' (via her degree in neuroscience, Hebrew & Jewish studies)

Think Bob Sagett would be great in a zany ad that is a montage of ppl tripping over vacuum cords advertising a new cordless vacuumer. What u think?

Which faded international celeb would y’ulz like 2 see humiliated?

***UPDATE**** Quick fact-correction here, Jupiter actually started this trend (via Louis Gosset Jnr Snr Mr bro). Sorry y’als, 4got about that. Am HUGE proud of y’ulz for  starting this trend. Y’uls are what legends R made of. Y’ulz can watch one of The First Humiliations (there were 5 involving this faded celeb – they went all out) here:


****EVEN FURTHER UPDATE****

A very good-looking and smart and amazingly awesome hot bro just informed me that ACTUALLY, Jupies didn’t invent this trend. Whomever does the advertising for Silver Sands Casino and humiliated faded Swedish ‘star’ Dolph Lundgren via writing him into their advertising invented this trend. Does anyone know what agency does Silversands? Does anyone know who the un-named genius is? Don’t worry Ogilvy / Jupies – y’alls are still early adopters for ‘copying it before the masses copy it’. Still respect / love y’all.

Pls pay me $$$ so I can get health insurance. Kinda 'spent all my cash' when I was young + stupid. Thanks y'all.

Are there beggars ‘fucking everywhere’?

Can you spare some of your online influence?

Y’ulz, this is a srs post. Sometimes I feel, when am driving my Bugatti thru the streets of ‘the most beautiful city in the world’ (Gardens), that there are beggars ‘fucking everywhere’. Think I am kind of over winding down my window BEFORE they approach 2 tell them 2 ‘lean on some other car like that Polo’. FFS y’ulle.

You'd better wash that stump b4 u click on my profile

And as if having to ‘decline stealing from myself 2 give 2 the poor’ on a daily basis is not painful enough, some beggar walked up to my window on facebook 2day (via an internal fbook email) and begged for me to ‘just go to this page and scroll down to the photo of the yam and like it, but don’t open the photo and like the photo, just like the link or it wont count as a vote, so I can win a free yamboat’.
Maybe just send this pic of my child 2 ur mailing list
Y’ulle can imagine my reply.
No, y’ulle actually can’t because I used a word I made up.

I said:

“Fangbags! Did u rly just send me this??????? H8 u.”

Maybe u can fwd round your office or summin.
Srsly. Are there beggars ‘fucking everywhere’? Gonna write my next pro-bono article for the Big Issue about the beggar endemic. Have ‘had it in chunks’. What are y’ulz feelings about this topical issue? Has our social networking society ‘gone 2 the dogs tonight’? is fbook ‘the new Zim’?

What should I go as to the Agency Halloween party?

Is the agency Halloween Party on Friday. Have pre-filled my timesheets with work so I can ‘get lunch at Garden’s Centre’ while picking up a l’il something a Party Tricks / Mardi Gras / Tinka Tonka Toys. Feel like I rly need 2 ‘bring it’ this yr since the USA took Halloween to a whole new level (via Noah Cyrus aka Miley’s sister aged 9)
Is okay y'als, I'm Christian. The Lord made my body in his image.
Could always recycle my Amy Winehouse costume from the xmas party but will risk creatives saying ‘it’s been done b4’. Dress code is ‘your baddest self’ which is kinda vague (via PR organising a party & not rly getting the idea of “single-minded messaging”).

Fond xmas party memories.

Considering ‘showing some tit’ via saying I’m “dressed as Client Service”, but worried no one will ask me what I’m dressed as (via thinking I rly am Client Service) & will have to drop the words I AM CLIENT SERVICE into casual conversation while ppl stare at my tits & don’t listen 2 what I am saying. Is quite catch-22. Very confused. Will draw a graph.

A graphical representation of the 'excuse 2 dress like a slag' Halloween trend

Don’t rly understand my graph. What are y’ulz gonna be this Halloween? Mike Schalit? John Farqhar? Brian Searle-Tripp? (miss u BST).

Booking an audio session: the fun continues

“A creative from an ad agency books an audio session….. what could possibly go wrong?”

thanks swartperd.

The study that changed my life: a profbro’s story

I am a professor bro. Have studied lots. I have a doctorate, but it never really ‘opened the doors’ I’d always hoped it would. Had dreams of winning a Nobel Prize. Didn’t happen. So bummed. Drank myself in2 a stupour over it the other day at some bar. Met some chick with a short skirt. Said she worked in PR. Said she could ‘make it happen 4 me’. Didn’t rly believe her. She was ‘too pretty 2 be smart’, & the kind of woman ‘I’d never get’. Just wanted 2 die.

Then she called me back the next day. Said she had this ‘gr8 idea 4 a study’. She said ‘Let’s do something big, something with high talkability & buzz factor. Let’s do a study bout how “Cape Town is racist“. That’ll get ‘em  all frothy & will give you industry credibility & media exposure.’ Crazy bint.

Didn’t rly take her srsly coz she’s not an alumni. Don’t take non-academics srsly. Bet she can’t even spell ‘schisms’. Drank some more and passed out in my own puke. Woke up with my face squashed on a Lever Arch File and her card in my hand. Smoked a cigarette. Called her. Gave the ‘study’ a go-ahead, even though she said she’d just get some friends over for drinks and ‘get some sound bytes’ and leave out anything that didn’t sound racist. Drank more until I passed out in my puke again. Hate my life. Just wanted ppl 2 respect me. Thinking of studying further.

Next day woke up with one of my young female coloured students, all naked and passed out next to me in my own puke. Felt a bit better, like ‘my suffering had purpose’ and ‘I was bridging the prejudice divide’ (via fucking & a blackout). Finally felt like I’d made up 4 ‘being born in cape town’. Thought of writing a book about it & calling it ‘Disgrace’ but realised it had already being done (hate u JM).

The phone rang. It was the PR chick. She said the ‘study’ made front page news. Said it was ‘creating a lot of buzz’ and ‘perpendicular trajectory word-of-mouth spinoff’ and that my ‘exposure was high’ and that I would now be a ‘respected profbro’. So relieved. She said my name comes up first if u google ‘cape town racist’. She said ‘the twitter is buzzing with hatespeech about capetonians’. She said ‘now you’re famous!’ Sooooo awesome y’all. Gonna do another ‘controversial study’ soon. Is rly helping my application 4 a study grant that will pay for more booze (ran out last night, pretty bummed). Gonna aim for a Nobel in 2010. Wish me luck.


The adventure never ends (via following me on Twitter)

Hey y’ulz. Been getting a lot of mails of complaint recently. Not the usual ones about how stupid and offensive I am (love y’all), but mails about how I’m not being stupid or offensive enough. This is because in order to be stupid and offensive I needs to go on wild adventures and ‘let the experience be lost on me’ so that I can become more stupid / offensive / sheltered / arrogant (via and limited to my blog – sorry, this offer is not extended to ‘real life’). So while I am still an advertising blog that ‘leads a branded life’, you can also follow me on Twitter, where I will pour my tidbitty morsels of opinions into your faces ALL DAY. Sometimes with PICTURES. Can you think of anything more AWESOME as to almost be stupidly offensive? Didn’t think so. Click here to request 2 follow me on twitter (have 2 approve you due to dodge ex boyfriends from 10 yrs ago who don’t ‘get the fucking hint’ about what i mean when i say ‘GTF out of my life’ and keep stalking me via twitter, please excuse it). In the meantime, please peruse these pics of my recent adventures to get ‘your branded fill’. XOXO

Went 2 Pinetown recently. Was a trip down memory lane (i grew up in a storm drain in the industrial area. Dont be fooled by the rocks that i got yulz, am still Alex from the block)

Went 2 Pinetown recently. Was a 'trip down memory lane' (i grew up in a storm drain in the industrial area. Don't be 'fooled by the rocks that i got' y'ulz, am still Alex from the block)

Ate sushi at this lil gem on Buitenkant. Eating dinner alone is my new thing. Yulz should try it, you dont have to fuss with all that talking and socialising.

Ate sushi at this l'il gem on Buitenkant. 'Eating dinner alone' is my new thing. Y'ulz should try it, you don't have to fuss with all that 'talking' and 'socialising'.

Been hanging out with friends (via accepting invitations to social events. Is very new to me. Dont have an opinion on it yet but apparently I am doing well so far)

Been 'hanging out with friends' (via accepting invitations to social events. Is very new to me. Don't have an opinion on it yet but apparently I am 'doing well so far')

My shoes on Durban tarmac. Makes me feel like Im home.

My shoes on Durban tarmac. Makes me feel like I'm home.

Got my hands dirty at the Steri Tee Party (via wearing a mask and doing the dragon during a t-shirt launch) on Kloof Street.

Got my hands dirty at the Steri Tee Party (via wearing a mask and 'doing the dragon' during a t-shirt launch) on Kloof Street.

Ryan getting his groove on at Tee launch.

Ryan getting his groove on at Tee launch.

Had some good times at Home Affairs reapplying for my passport that got stolen. Was awesome. Had to stand in queues, only to get to front to be told I had to go back to police station to get case number and pay double. Love Home Affairs.

Had some good times at Home Affairs reapplying for my passport that got stolen. Was awesome. Had to stand in queues, only to get to front to be told I had to go back to police station to get case number and pay double. Love Home Affairs.

What Home Affairs does to ones ankles.

What Home Affairs does to one's ankles (makes you cross them like Dandy Bro)

Made a new friend (via Sweden). Welcome to SA, Therese.

Made a new friend (via Sweden). Welcome to SA, Therese.

Had dinner cooked for me by 2 men (one of whom being the legendary Chris Rawlinson, who makes a mean lamb roast in addition to being a well connected and awesome blogger)

Had dinner cooked for me by 2 men (one of whom being the legendary Chris Rawlinson, who makes a mean lamb roast in addition to being a 'well connected and awesome blogger')

So many adventures. Why wouldn’t you follow me on twitter?

Psychographic Profile: I have an invite to Googlewave

I have an invite to Googlewave
I don’t know anyone else who has one
Which makes me feel awesome
But at the same time lonely
Since Googlewave is useless without other ppl to wave to
No matter, gonna gloat about it on the twitter
Gonna sync my twitter to my fbook status
So everyone knows how ahead and technologically “on it” I am
I HAVE AN INVITE TO GOOGLE WAVE

Yeah! Googlewave! Yeah!

Yeah! Googlewave! Yeah!

Gonna excuse myself from this meeting
And lock myself in the stall at the end in the bathrooms of my office
And do a dance out of excitement at my GOOGLEWAVE invite (maybe touch my peen)
Jiggy jiggy, jiggy jiggy
You like that huh? Jiggy Jiggy
Applebottom googlewaveboots with the googlewave…”
Gonna go back to the meeting room
Just drop this l’il bomb
“Oh, shoot, looks like I just got a Googlewave invite,”
And jizz on my face at the blank expressions on the faces of my colleagues
(they’ll never understand me or my ideas. I’m a visionary, they are laggards.)

Yeah! Googlewave! Fuck me!

Yeah! Googlewave! Fuck me!

I have an invite to Googlewave
Gonna watch lots of videos on ‘how Googlewave works’
Gonna tweet them out, with commentary
(“I find the function that allows you to collapse or expand inline comments really useful” - cue sound of my sperm hitting you in the forehead)
Gonna get all frenzied up when ppl tweet about ‘how dumb it is to get excited about Googlewave since you need other ppl 2 B on it’
Gonna defend it ‘to the death’ from the fucking tards who don’t “get it”
“You’ll see – Googlewave is gonna change EVERYTHING!”
I HAVE AN INVITE TO GOOGLEWAVE
Googlewave 4 eva!!!!!!1!

Fuckyfuckyyyyeeeeeaaaahhhhgooooglewave!

Fuckyfuckyyyyeeeeeaaaahhhhgooooglewave!

I have an invite to Googlewave
I used to be married but that was lame (couldn’t collapse the inline fighting over remote control)
My wife divorced me because I had to wake up at 3am to ‘wave’ to ppl in America (is what U get when U marry a laggard)
Totally don’t regret it – Googlewave is gonna “change the way we do business”, you’ll see
Just let me know if you want 2 know how it works (via a link to googlewave.com/help)
So I can point out how STUPID your LIFE is compared to Googlewave’s GENIUS
If you don’t have Googlewave you might as well tattoo STUPID PERSON WHO IS BEHIND AND STUPID on your forehead
Unless you want me 2 invite u. I can hook u up.
U want an invite? Coz I can hook u up. I can change your life. You just have to say yes. I’ll hook U up.
Googlewave is LOVE. Anything else is FEAR.
Love or Fear?
LOVE OR FEAR?
WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE?
I HAVE AN INVITE TO GOOGLEWAVE
I’M SO FUCKINGARGHKJFGJHERGFKJHDFBVKJHDFBVJDHSFBV,JSDHFBVGOOGLEWAVE!!!!


I'm gonna fuck my face yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Fuck! Googlewave!

Going to a brand party y’all.

I’m going to a brand party / secret event / happening
Gonna do my makeup dark & smudgy
Gonna sweat into my bangs to ‘bring the seks’
Gonna wear sneakers with a dress
Prolly not Converse this time
More of an Adi vibe
Kind of over Converse anyway
Plus don’t want 2 break the rules
(is diff with Adi)

NO U ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS CARPET. PLS GO BACK & READ THE RULES.

NO U ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS CARPET. PLS GO BACK & READ THE RULES.

I’m going to a brand party / secret event / happening
Gonna gloat about it on my fbook status / tweet to my followers / set my skype bubble 2 read:

“Hey any1 else going2 that super secret triple helix party on sat 24 oct 2009 at an undisclosed venue unless u also got the Ltd Edtn Test Tube?

No 1?

Guess I’m looking 4 a friend 2 come w me…

Who’s the lucky ‘friend’ gonna be?”

(And wait 4 ppl 2 beg 2 come with me via commenting on my status innocuous comments like ‘what’s dat party u talking about? sounds lame’)

Super top secret.

Super top secret.

I’m going to a brand party / secret event / happening
it’s only my 7 452nd one this year
Am aiming for 8 001 to top last yrs total
Am no longer capable of forming an opinion on a venue based on my feelings y’ulz.
Can only ‘go some place’ based on what brand will be giving me free stuff there
(is totally fine, kind of over having my own opinnies anyway)
So amped for this one
Bound to be free booze / hot sweaty sneaker bros / branded freebies
Just wanna get sh*tfaced / ‘meet new people’ / take pics on my Lomo app 2 upload 2 Flickr so ppl can see how awesomely zany my life is (in comparison 2 their crappy life & average camera)
hope they do a lucky draw for some Ltd Edtn sneaks / holographic laser pointer keyring / branded cap ‘n shirt
need something to make me ‘feel superior 2 every1 around me’ via being “expensive yet free” thereby implying how much i ‘take expensive shit 4 granted’ ‘because I can’,
now that bingeing on fast food / smoking cigarettes / sex with strangers / sex with extended group of friends has ‘hit the mainstream’
(such hard work being cutting edge y’ulz)

Just want 2 feel alive (via branded events).

Just want 2 feel alive (via branded events).

I’m going to a brand party / secret event / happening
Gonna ‘form a meaningful relationship w Adi via their embracing the Mad Scientist trend-fad’
Gonna engage w down2earth peeps employed on behalf of Adi
2 ‘be the voice of the shoe of the people’
Gonna punch out the lenses in the 3D glasses I got from watching UP & chill in the toilets with my top off & pretend am in a Lyall Coburn shoot
(can only dream y’all).

Photo of introspective yet active-looking cool chick by Lyall Coburn (extremely authentic photog)

Photo of introspective yet active-looking cool chick by Lyall Coburn (extremely authentic photog) from Adi Originals campaign

Photo of me via non-LC photog but getting there

Photo of me via non-LC photog but 'getting there' (PS. wish I put some Adis in that Pie Chart Of Stuff That Is Cool. "Art Regret")

I’m going to a brand party / secret event / happening
Y’ulz going? (is top secret)

What am I down with?

Hey y’ulz. What l’il symbol shall I stick on my twavatar so ppl know what I’m down with?

As y’al know, I have a very carefully sculpted personal brand. Some might even call it a ‘work of art’. I have a dream, it looks like this:


Anyways been noticing that some of y’ulle have small l’il symbols on ur twitter avatars, & since I don’t have one I’ve been feeling like a ‘tard who missed the adoption curve bus and now has to lie in this bed of mud that I’m stuck in because I made it’. y’all ever feel like that? Kind of felt like that when everyone was hamming around in shutter shades and my sunglasses were all lame and ‘complete’. Never want that to happen again.

Hate having to overcompensate.

Hate having to overcompensate.

Decided to check out my options:

1. Can put a green filter on my avatar to show that I am ‘socially conscious & aware’ of the bad things happening ‘in the east’ and if you’re a political bro who knows that ‘liberal’ doesn’t actually mean ‘drinking a lot and having sex with ur friends’ then I am ‘down to fuck’ with you.

2. Can put a pink ribbon on my avatar to ‘show my support for breast cancer research’, probably because someone ‘close to me’ has died or suffered from the ‘scourge of the millennium’. Wouldn’t mind this but worried it will reveal that I don’t get that ‘cancer is what happens when u repress ur emotions’ & that enlightened ppl will mutter ‘go work in a soup kitchen’ under their breaths like that poster about how design is cancer.

Wish design didnt cause cancer yall.

Wish design didn't cause cancer y'all.

3. Can put a Silicone Cape twavatar but this will make me look like a ‘tard who didn’t read the part in Outliers about how pioneers don’t move in flocks’, but not rly sure anyone actually ‘read’ all of Outliers because it was a pile of crap.

Unique. Just like everybody else.

Unique. Just like everybody else.

This is not going to be an easy decision. Can someone make me a penis symbol? Might as well tell people that ‘I like the cock’, if nothing else. Feel like I should probably address basics before I get onto lofty things like politics, disease and religion. Forward me any suggestions. Peace y’ulz.

Should I have won the Nobel Peace Prize?

Winners. Fierce.

Winners. Fierce.

As some of y’all know,  I’m quite a ‘winner’. I won a trip to Egypt yesterday (thank you Travelstart).  Just this year I have won an iPhone (thanks 2oceansvibe), a Gold Loerie (thanks to advertising), 100 Euro in the lottery (thanks Euromillions), a MiMoney voucher (thanks MiMoney), and now a ticket to Cairo. Don’t think I don’t know what y’all are thinking: Should I have won the Nobel Prize?

Barrys Beyonce-at-the-VMAs moment

Barry's Beyonce-at-the-VMA's moment

Would have been a ‘nice surprise’ since world peace and shizzle isn’t really my vibe but that’s cool. Figure it can’t be too diff from winning an iPhone in that ‘rad-my-life-is-kiff’ kind of way.

Do y’ulz think I’d make a good Nobel Peace Prize winner? Would be rad coz i could hang with De Klerk and Mandelabro and Tutu and now Bamarama. We could ‘drink Johnnie Blue’ and reminisce about ‘the struggles’ and ‘the triumph of the human spirit’. We could shoot the shit and fight over who plays us in our biopics. could add them all on facebook on the iPhone i won and keep deleting any recent activity that stops our new friendships from being at the top of my wall.


Dunno y’ulz. Rly think i should have won it. was probably ‘rigged’. happy Friday y’ulz.

Graphic Designer vs. Client

Want a brochure / logo / business card designed quickly for minimum budget? Watch this. Thanks CaptainJennifer :)

Psychographic Profile: I am a model at the Velocity Party


I am a model at the Velocity Party
Dunno what ‘Velocity’ is
But they’re paying me in bags of cocaine
Not that I do cocaine
Just keep it around for those dry months
When I can’t afford diet pills.

I am a model at the Velocity Party
Apparently this event is ‘the party everyone wants to go to’
Not really impressed
The people here are so ‘normal’
Most of them are midgets
And overweight
Good thing they have ‘craft skills’ and can make pretty things to sell
Bless them.

I am a model at the Velocity Party
And some blonde chick just puked on her dress
Then sat up and yelled ‘whoo hoo!’
Ew.
I’m supposed to socialize
But these midgets keep talking about ‘loories’
Have no clue what ‘loories’ are
Would ask but will probably get puked on
How long does this thing last?

I am a model at the Velocity Party
Some midget just told me he ‘made the mouse ad’
I’m not sure but I think it was a pickup line
Does anyone know what ‘mouse ad’ means?
Is it code for ‘owning a porsche’?
I’m more of a Lambo girl, myself.

I am a model at the Velocity Party
Some midget just asked me if I was in a ‘sell sea ad’
Why does everyone keep talking about ads?
This is so lame.
Have these people never heard of PVR?
Just wish it was finished so I can go home and concentrate on not eating.

I am a model at the Velocity Party.

Anyone want to do tequila shots out of my navel even though tequila makes u fat?

All photos from some post about the Loeries on Bizcommunity. If you want any removed you just let me know.

sponsoratized post: MiMoney helps me experience ‘being just rich’

So MiMoney sent me a R500 voucher to spend on something nice so that I could get a feel for how it works y’ulz. Tested it out on the 2 things I mostly order on the interwebs, sex and prescription drugs. Kidding. Ordered 2 books from Kalahari.net that i’ve been wanting for ages: Rainer Maria Rilke’s ‘Letters to a young poet’ (recommend reading it if y’ulz are ‘cre8ive’ and ppl give you shit for it) and Jung’s ‘Memories, Dreams, Reflections’ (is Jung’s autobiography, recommend reading it if y’ulz ‘know too much about the world’ & ppl give you shit for it). They arrived this morning. Happy times y’all!

Oooh, a package. What could it be?

Oooh, a package. What could it be?

Just what Ive always wanted!

Just what I've always wanted!

Happy times.

Happy times.

Also, after having a day when I thought it might be ‘better to be just rich’ than to ‘be creative’ i went home and gorged on sushi from Mr Delivery that MiMoney also paid for (thereby giving me the opportunity to know what ‘being just rich’ feels like). My verdict is that ‘being just rich’ ‘totally rocks’, and that ‘being creative’ needs to work harder at ‘bringing its A-game’ to the task of ‘making my life awesome’.

How MiMoney works:

1. You register with www.mimoney.co.za

2. You purchase MiMoney vouchers which then get sent to your phone.

3. You then use your vouchers as cash, quoting the code sent to your phone when you need to pay for a movie, online order, dinner, or whatever else you want to pay for. Right now it’s a little limiting as to what you can buy, but in future you’ll be able to use your MiMoney everywhere, thereby eliminating the need for cumbersome 19th century trappings such as ‘wallets’ and ‘money’.

Read what kalahari has to say about MiMoney here (putting this link in because app the mimoney site is giving some trouble).

am i over ‘being creative’?

hey y’ulz. have you ever felt like ‘being creative is not emotionally profitable’? am having one of those days. kind of feel like being creative is ‘highly overrated’ and that i would probz be happier if i was ‘just rich’. feel like if i ran myself like a business i’d have retrenched the EMOTIONS and the CREATIVE depts a long time ago due lack of costs recovered. in order to help make up my mind have done a list of pros & cons:

what life is like as a creative:

Cant separate my emotions from my work yulz :(

Can't separate my emotions from my work y'ulz :(

- u are filled with ‘emotions’ that make you ‘attached 2 ur work’ (i.e. when ppl fuck up your work you cry. a lot. sometimes u have sex with strangers 2 make it better).

- u are dependent on ppl who ‘get you’ for food (srsly – if no one ‘gets u’ you have to do drastic shit like ‘cut off your ear’ or ‘start a blog’ or ‘be in client service’)

Who am I? TELL ME.

Who am I? TELL ME.

- u have people telling you what to do / that you have ‘crossed the line’ / that you need to make our work ‘more accessible’ / what you are not allowed to do (be awesome)

I hate the man. I am the man. I hate the man.

I hate the man. I am the man. I hate the man.

- u have great style but no money to by great clothes 2 reflect your style

- ppl at Caprice think u are weird (h8 you coz you are ‘different’)

Hey can you lend me R50 for a taxi home? My money fell out of my home-made wallet i bought off etsy - soz.

Hey can you lend me R50 for a taxi home? My money fell out of my home-made wallet i bought off etsy - soz.

- the bank (Standard Bank) won’t insure you against retrenchment

- ur kids will be obese because of their anger at your substance abuse problem.

My mom is amazing. I love and respect her. Hey you wanna get McDs?

My mom is amazing. I love and respect her. Hey you wanna get McD's?

what life is like when u are RICH:

- nobody argues with u even if you are an obese kid who has crossed the line

My mom is my role model.

My mom is my role model.

- nobody tells u what 2 do because you can ‘buy and sell them’

Go on. Fire me.

Go on. Fire me.

- if you cry you can pay for an operation that stops your tearducts working & pills that will stop u from feeling (via ‘therapy’)

- u can force yourself on ppl & even if you are a douche they will like u anyway because you buy them patron at Caprice which u own

- u have no style but ppl copy u anyways because ‘you are rich & obviously right’

– your bank sends you Charlie’s cake on ur birthday & grants u a lipo loan all in same day

- everything is totally awesome

Loves it!

Loves it!

- you can do whatever you want all the time

NOT a creative.

NOT a creative.

What do y’ulz think? Has ‘being a creative’ dated badly? Are creatives ‘the new bottom feeders’? Should I do nightcourses in accounting & ‘finally have some form of control over my life’? Is ‘being rich’ the true definition of creativity (via being able to do whatever you want whenever you want)? Have some srs thinking to do.


I am a super fucking awesome Social Media Guru

Just watch it“. Thanks Dylan.