Category Archives: Cape Town

Y’alls, we need 2 talk.

I have a confession my frendz. I am not ‘who y’ulz think I am’. Well, maybe in some ways. But the truth is, there is more to me than jus’ ‘building a personal brand’ and being a ‘sarky l’il jaded semi-original millenial’. So much more y’ulz. And I want 2 share that with you.



Y’all know how Beyonce’s PB is 2-fold? As in, sometime’s she’s the ‘Beyonce we all know & luv’ and sometimes she’s ‘Sasha Fiercey’? Well, MBLTM is kinda like my ‘Ad-girl Sasha Fiercey’ except waaaayyyyy less sparkly dresses. I started it for ‘a bit of a laugh’ bcoz I kinda felt like I was ‘taking my job too srsly’ (via getting upset over cre8ive miscarriages).



But I’m starting to ‘feel a little stifled’ by this here voice. Kinda like ‘I would like 2 see other voices’ so when I do ‘come home 2 MBLTM’ I can ‘rly appreciate her 4 who she is’ and do so ‘because I enjoy it’ rather than ‘because I have to’. So I’m suggesting a ‘trial separation’ from this particular Personal Brand, just so I can ‘play the personal branding field’ and ‘get 2 know other PBs’. I know y’ulz feel me.



So pretty soonish I’m thinkin’ of inhabiting a ‘newer, more chill alter blog ego’, which I have yet to announce . Yes y’ulz – am also considering adopting a ‘nom de plumey’. Kinda realized that this blog was ‘a l’il confusing’ for industry ppl who didn’t know me / friends who did know me / people in general. Like sometimes y’all ‘didn’t know I was joking’ (via gettin’ offended).



Am thinking this new Personal Brand
will be more about ‘the happier-go-lucky-draw-me’. Coz deep down inside, I am ‘just a girl in the world’ y’all. I likes to ‘shop it up’. I likes 2 ‘read novels by Marian Keyes’ (via reading JM Coetzee & needing a quick ‘pick-me-up’). I likes 2 ‘go 2 jazz at Asoka’. I likes 2 ‘eat sushi at Nobu’. I likes 2 ‘sing along 2 Rihanna in my car‘ (‘get down if ya feel me throw ur hands up 2 da ceiling y’ulz’).



NEwayz. What y’ulz thank? Does this ‘sound intriguing’ or does it sound like my PB is ‘becoming a generic pile of shit’? Can y’all ‘live with this’ or am I ‘committing personal brand suicide’?

“Kisses” (via potential new voice – please rate out of 5 stars)

bookclub

What a bunch of wild bitches. Need some bitchslapping if you ask mizzles.

I just wanna be awesome y’ulz.

Y’ulz, I so bad wanna be awesome.
I just want ppl 2 look at me & think “wish I was that sisbro”.
Just want ppl 2 covet my Opel Corsa that now looks like a ‘real car’ (via all cars looking like the Peugot 206)
Just want ppl 2 look at my real leather hand / manbag and think ‘wow that’s a bro who srsly knows their quality shiz, must stop buying Mr Pricebro’
Just want ppl 2 know that I buy Country Road when they finger the thick seams & say “but who BUYS this stuff?!”
So bad just wanna be awesome.



Y’ulz, I so bad just wanna be awesome.
Gonna get super tight jeans that “cre8 a camel-toe ambience” & wear them in front of my chubby sister,
See how she likes ‘getting the brains in the family’ now
Gonna move into a house with “all my best guy friends” (via being a guys’-girl / the village indie bicycle)
Gonna sleep with them all (via parental divorce-issues), even though all of them have girlfriends, some of whom are my best friends forever y’all! (via going 2 film school 2 getha)
Gonna sleep with them all and ‘be besties & climb lions head on adventures!’ with them all
So bad just wanna be awesome y’all!



Y’ulz, I am fucking desperate 2 be awesome.
Gonna make peace signs while I do cheap coke off the toilets at Assembly while taking a self-portrait profile shot 4 my blog
Gonna wear empty-lensed paedo-glasses 2 ‘invoke the nerd look’ (via looking like a tard)
Gonna wear an Indian head-dress minus feathers 2 ‘give them something 2 talk about’ (via yawning) so my head looks like a phimosis-victim (via Google it)
Gonna take a non-paying job in a crap magazine that had street-cred in 1994 (via articles on drugs via back then ppl not knowing that drinking / taking drugs / being ‘reckless with your body’ makes you ‘lose ur looks’)
So fucking desperate 2 be awesome!
Y’ulz!



Y’ulz, basically, I would do anything 2 be awesome.
Gonna housesit my bestie’s house & ‘trash the place’ (how awesome? Bro…)
Gonna ‘get pregnant’ with my b/f’s babybro & then ‘lose the baby’ on a coke binge
So I can be “hot pregnant chick” minus “all that baby admin”
Y’ulz, gonna “turn down paying design jobs” 4 “jobs that are awesome” (via getting free entrance 2 clubs where the band whose flyer I designed is playing at)
Y’ulz, I’m gonna be awesome.
Can’t wait!
Y’alls!

My boss’s dog

His master's couch.

I know, right? Yet ANOTHER reason to get into advertising.

Summer in the City: December 09

Had a magical summer holiday y’all. Going to ‘let the pictures do the talking’.

Llandudno

Hotel California

Pool party

Luncheons

Downtown Gardens

The Mountain and The Moon

Sushi

Secret Beach

BFFs

Pool Party New Year's

Birthdays

Beach Days

Cupcakes

Gifts

Sunshine

Pool Party New Years

Blue Moon at Midnight New Year's Eve

La Perla

Camps Bay

Aquatic Opera

Reunions

Treasures

City Bowl Paradise

And that concludes another stunning summer in Cape Town. You can see the rest of my photos here. What did y’all do with your holidays?

Psychographic Profile: I am a Holiday

I am a holiday y’ulz
And boy I am awesome
I don’t work in an office
I am outside times
Happy lovely sunshine outside times
Happy lovely happy times
Dancey dance
In the sunshine
Pat pat a cat friend
Lie on a rock

I am a holiday y’ulz
I’m a beachy called Clifton
I am a The Rock
I am those ppl in the malls that make y’als thank:
What do these ppl do all day? Don’t they have jobs?
Happy happy Diana Camera snappy snap
Dancey dance
Lovely happy sunshine dancey holiday time
Laugh laugh love and friends
Happy splish splosh

I am a holiday y’ulz
I am long runs on the beach
Hikes up a mountain
A pat pat a sausage dog friend you meet on the way down
Smell of braai
Windless nights
Lots of laugh laugh in the night
Early morning sleeping late

I am a holiday y’ulz.
Y’alls feel me?
See you on the 4th of the New Year.

Miss y’ulz.


Psychographic Profile: I am a 26-year old hipster

I am a 26-year old hipster
And just admitting that kills me.
My BFF ( we have matching gun tats) says I can pass for 24,
And if i get pissed enough to do a line & be a douche,
I can pass for 18,
Which is good enough for me,
Even though I have wrinkles around my eyes and mouth
From all the YSLs I smoked
To help me deal with my smoking hangover
After last night’s party at Assembly (yeah! whoo hoo! partay!)
(check me in those pics in weareawesome yeah i look f-ing cool bro, “if i say so myself”)

I am a 26-year old hipster
Just wish I could have been 25 for like 1 more month
Then Discovery wouldn’t have forced me 2 “take out my own hospital plan”
(“who can afford real med aid on my salary”)
Don’t even “earn a salary” (fuck that shit! still living off the money i saved as a ski instructor)
I’m my own agent, “fuck the man”
Got my own cre8ive street art flyer poster ideation band lab t-shirt co
Plus that awesome gig at the sneaker store (gets me such great exposure bro)
And my freelance illustration vibe
(Can always wait tables at Royale if everything fucks out)

I am a 26-year old hipster
And i just started getting these mouth ulcers (WTF???!1!)
Hope it’s not from that ‘Lebanese chick in the photos
Or one of her friends
(Can’t remember if I’ve done them or not, probably, I’ll do anything PS “fuck condoms, I’m white bro”)
SHould prob quit smoking
Just “can’t be arsed” and “I like smoking”
Plus my bitch mom keeps going on about my weed plants
Wish she’d “get off out of my case” and stop waking me up when she goes 2 work
doesn’t she get that I don’t WANT 2 work?
doesn’t she KNOW how shit cocaine makes you feel the next day?
Stupid bitch.
Gonna ‘have a nervous breakdown’ so she feels guilty bout shouting at me
“Just let me use your house like a hotel and STFU bitch!”
Garsh. I’ve “fucking had it”.

I am a 26-year old hipster
And no longer 25 (and therefore “youth”)
Kind of scared I am “over the hill”
Put on my skinny jeans and they were “more tight than usual” this morning
Made my peen “look small & all squashed 2 the side”
Hope my metabolism doesn’t “fail me now”
Might have 2 switch from coke 2 speed 2 lose the love handles
Maybe Stop smoking weed, those muchies are “killer”
Thinking of going back 2 Varsity College 2 “finish my IT degree” (lame!)
Just in case, you know, my mom dies & “leaves all her money 2 my super smart bitch sister”
Like I’d ever “work in IT”
Am meant for bigger things y’all
Hate my bitch mom and my sister

I am a 26-year old hipster
Wish this mouth f-ing ulcer would go away
Would see a doctor but was planning on spending that money on drinks specials at Assembly tonight
Gonna smoke a cigarette, doodle in my moleskin and think about it.
Maybe update my status in a way that “makes ppl worry” before i go back 2 bed.

Garsh.


Should I sue myself for not buying myself a ghd sooner?

Okay. Every once in a while, I experience something that prompts me to ‘drop that stupid, irritating voice’ i use to write on my blog and ‘just get real’. The ghd Style Lounge – which i was privileged enough to attend on Friday evening – is one such brand activation which has prompted such drastic action. In all seriousness – “srsly y’all” – this event blew my mind. “O RLY?” i hear you say. “Howcome y’ulz?” I hear you say. I’ll attempt to do justice to the sheer delight that was having my makeup done by Benefit, my hair styled by 2 ghd Angels, then being styled by Accessorize and being given a remote control with which to shoot myself. Not in the foot, but on an infinity curve that had been set up, “just like a real-life photo shoot”. Oh my word. Oh my hat.

Firstly, the venue was just amazing. Roodebloem Studios in Woodstock, for those interested:

A magical wonderland.

You walked in, were greeted with a glass of Krone and a Vitamin Water, and then you went and waited with sumptuous snacks until a Benefit artist could start doing your makeup.

Sumptuous snacky treats.

Sumptuous snacky treats.

Waiting area.

Delicious product display.

More delicious product display.

Benefit's Beauty Bootcamp

The Result: Makeup by Benefit

Once you got your makeup did, you had a little more Krone before heading over to the Style Stations (see above) to have your hair done by 2 lovely ghd Angels. Since my hair is naturally straight, I asked for them to ‘get a l’il zany y’ulz’ and give me some curls and, most importantly, show me how to make curls with a ghd (Creation Mist, Hold Spray, Obedience cream and…go!). This really was revelatory to me – I had no idea you could curl with an iron. “Srsly y’ulz” – no idea.

A before photo: hair is still untouched.

Hair: a work in progress

No hair “After” pic yet because those were a part of the shoot we had on location, but I’ll upload them as soon as I get them. Once hair got did, we were taken in hand by a stylist who added a little something special to the look we were creating, to make us a little more ‘shoot ready’.

Accessories! Yay!

Getting styled. Glove love.

And then I was given the top 2 ghd products to suit my hair as recommended by one of the ghd Angels.

Miracle mist and obedience cream.

In the words of my blog:

“Srsly y’ulz – should I sue myself for not buying a GHD sooner?”

Check out all the pics from the other ghd Style Lounge activations here on facebook, or at the ghd Style Diary. PS. Benefit makeup can only be bought at Woolworths. Anyone looking to ‘treat me for xmas y’ulz’, hit me up with one of their fab products.

WHAT IS THIS?

Y’ulz, went to Milnerton on the weekend. Was rly scary. Y’all ever been there? Wish someone had warned me. Went to “go fetch my ID book which was stolen 1.5 years ago and was found by an old lady in a Reader’s Digest in the pensions office in Milnerton”. Is that not the biggest mindfuck? Read it again: Went to “go fetch my ID book which was stolen 1.5 years ago and was found by an old lady in a Reader’s Digest in the pensions office in Milnerton”.

Mind. Fuck.

This is Milnerton. Frightening.

But more frightening even than this, is this THING I found. WHAT IS THIS? Found it outside the guest house next door to On The Rocks Restaurant. Thought it might be some Halloween fun but there was no reference to Halloween near it. Seriously y’ulz. WHAT IS THIS?:

Is it a tokoloshe? A "Zulu Orc"?

Let’s take a closer look.

WHAT IS THIS???

WHAT IS THIS???

I need to lie down.

What should I go as to the Agency Halloween party?

Is the agency Halloween Party on Friday. Have pre-filled my timesheets with work so I can ‘get lunch at Garden’s Centre’ while picking up a l’il something a Party Tricks / Mardi Gras / Tinka Tonka Toys. Feel like I rly need 2 ‘bring it’ this yr since the USA took Halloween to a whole new level (via Noah Cyrus aka Miley’s sister aged 9)
Is okay y'als, I'm Christian. The Lord made my body in his image.
Could always recycle my Amy Winehouse costume from the xmas party but will risk creatives saying ‘it’s been done b4’. Dress code is ‘your baddest self’ which is kinda vague (via PR organising a party & not rly getting the idea of “single-minded messaging”).

Fond xmas party memories.

Considering ‘showing some tit’ via saying I’m “dressed as Client Service”, but worried no one will ask me what I’m dressed as (via thinking I rly am Client Service) & will have to drop the words I AM CLIENT SERVICE into casual conversation while ppl stare at my tits & don’t listen 2 what I am saying. Is quite catch-22. Very confused. Will draw a graph.

A graphical representation of the 'excuse 2 dress like a slag' Halloween trend

Don’t rly understand my graph. What are y’ulz gonna be this Halloween? Mike Schalit? John Farqhar? Brian Searle-Tripp? (miss u BST).

The study that changed my life: a profbro’s story

I am a professor bro. Have studied lots. I have a doctorate, but it never really ‘opened the doors’ I’d always hoped it would. Had dreams of winning a Nobel Prize. Didn’t happen. So bummed. Drank myself in2 a stupour over it the other day at some bar. Met some chick with a short skirt. Said she worked in PR. Said she could ‘make it happen 4 me’. Didn’t rly believe her. She was ‘too pretty 2 be smart’, & the kind of woman ‘I’d never get’. Just wanted 2 die.

Then she called me back the next day. Said she had this ‘gr8 idea 4 a study’. She said ‘Let’s do something big, something with high talkability & buzz factor. Let’s do a study bout how “Cape Town is racist“. That’ll get ‘em  all frothy & will give you industry credibility & media exposure.’ Crazy bint.

Didn’t rly take her srsly coz she’s not an alumni. Don’t take non-academics srsly. Bet she can’t even spell ‘schisms’. Drank some more and passed out in my own puke. Woke up with my face squashed on a Lever Arch File and her card in my hand. Smoked a cigarette. Called her. Gave the ‘study’ a go-ahead, even though she said she’d just get some friends over for drinks and ‘get some sound bytes’ and leave out anything that didn’t sound racist. Drank more until I passed out in my puke again. Hate my life. Just wanted ppl 2 respect me. Thinking of studying further.

Next day woke up with one of my young female coloured students, all naked and passed out next to me in my own puke. Felt a bit better, like ‘my suffering had purpose’ and ‘I was bridging the prejudice divide’ (via fucking & a blackout). Finally felt like I’d made up 4 ‘being born in cape town’. Thought of writing a book about it & calling it ‘Disgrace’ but realised it had already being done (hate u JM).

The phone rang. It was the PR chick. She said the ‘study’ made front page news. Said it was ‘creating a lot of buzz’ and ‘perpendicular trajectory word-of-mouth spinoff’ and that my ‘exposure was high’ and that I would now be a ‘respected profbro’. So relieved. She said my name comes up first if u google ‘cape town racist’. She said ‘the twitter is buzzing with hatespeech about capetonians’. She said ‘now you’re famous!’ Sooooo awesome y’all. Gonna do another ‘controversial study’ soon. Is rly helping my application 4 a study grant that will pay for more booze (ran out last night, pretty bummed). Gonna aim for a Nobel in 2010. Wish me luck.


Going to a brand party y’all.

I’m going to a brand party / secret event / happening
Gonna do my makeup dark & smudgy
Gonna sweat into my bangs to ‘bring the seks’
Gonna wear sneakers with a dress
Prolly not Converse this time
More of an Adi vibe
Kind of over Converse anyway
Plus don’t want 2 break the rules
(is diff with Adi)

NO U ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS CARPET. PLS GO BACK & READ THE RULES.

NO U ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS CARPET. PLS GO BACK & READ THE RULES.

I’m going to a brand party / secret event / happening
Gonna gloat about it on my fbook status / tweet to my followers / set my skype bubble 2 read:

“Hey any1 else going2 that super secret triple helix party on sat 24 oct 2009 at an undisclosed venue unless u also got the Ltd Edtn Test Tube?

No 1?

Guess I’m looking 4 a friend 2 come w me…

Who’s the lucky ‘friend’ gonna be?”

(And wait 4 ppl 2 beg 2 come with me via commenting on my status innocuous comments like ‘what’s dat party u talking about? sounds lame’)

Super top secret.

Super top secret.

I’m going to a brand party / secret event / happening
it’s only my 7 452nd one this year
Am aiming for 8 001 to top last yrs total
Am no longer capable of forming an opinion on a venue based on my feelings y’ulz.
Can only ‘go some place’ based on what brand will be giving me free stuff there
(is totally fine, kind of over having my own opinnies anyway)
So amped for this one
Bound to be free booze / hot sweaty sneaker bros / branded freebies
Just wanna get sh*tfaced / ‘meet new people’ / take pics on my Lomo app 2 upload 2 Flickr so ppl can see how awesomely zany my life is (in comparison 2 their crappy life & average camera)
hope they do a lucky draw for some Ltd Edtn sneaks / holographic laser pointer keyring / branded cap ‘n shirt
need something to make me ‘feel superior 2 every1 around me’ via being “expensive yet free” thereby implying how much i ‘take expensive shit 4 granted’ ‘because I can’,
now that bingeing on fast food / smoking cigarettes / sex with strangers / sex with extended group of friends has ‘hit the mainstream’
(such hard work being cutting edge y’ulz)

Just want 2 feel alive (via branded events).

Just want 2 feel alive (via branded events).

I’m going to a brand party / secret event / happening
Gonna ‘form a meaningful relationship w Adi via their embracing the Mad Scientist trend-fad’
Gonna engage w down2earth peeps employed on behalf of Adi
2 ‘be the voice of the shoe of the people’
Gonna punch out the lenses in the 3D glasses I got from watching UP & chill in the toilets with my top off & pretend am in a Lyall Coburn shoot
(can only dream y’all).

Photo of introspective yet active-looking cool chick by Lyall Coburn (extremely authentic photog)

Photo of introspective yet active-looking cool chick by Lyall Coburn (extremely authentic photog) from Adi Originals campaign

Photo of me via non-LC photog but getting there

Photo of me via non-LC photog but 'getting there' (PS. wish I put some Adis in that Pie Chart Of Stuff That Is Cool. "Art Regret")

I’m going to a brand party / secret event / happening
Y’ulz going? (is top secret)

Psychographic Profile: I am a model at the Velocity Party


I am a model at the Velocity Party
Dunno what ‘Velocity’ is
But they’re paying me in bags of cocaine
Not that I do cocaine
Just keep it around for those dry months
When I can’t afford diet pills.

I am a model at the Velocity Party
Apparently this event is ‘the party everyone wants to go to’
Not really impressed
The people here are so ‘normal’
Most of them are midgets
And overweight
Good thing they have ‘craft skills’ and can make pretty things to sell
Bless them.

I am a model at the Velocity Party
And some blonde chick just puked on her dress
Then sat up and yelled ‘whoo hoo!’
Ew.
I’m supposed to socialize
But these midgets keep talking about ‘loories’
Have no clue what ‘loories’ are
Would ask but will probably get puked on
How long does this thing last?

I am a model at the Velocity Party
Some midget just told me he ‘made the mouse ad’
I’m not sure but I think it was a pickup line
Does anyone know what ‘mouse ad’ means?
Is it code for ‘owning a porsche’?
I’m more of a Lambo girl, myself.

I am a model at the Velocity Party
Some midget just asked me if I was in a ‘sell sea ad’
Why does everyone keep talking about ads?
This is so lame.
Have these people never heard of PVR?
Just wish it was finished so I can go home and concentrate on not eating.

I am a model at the Velocity Party.

Anyone want to do tequila shots out of my navel even though tequila makes u fat?

All photos from some post about the Loeries on Bizcommunity. If you want any removed you just let me know.

my Big Day Out

Hey y’ulz. Had a serious reality check this am. Just kind of realised that there’s more to Cape Town than Wembley Square. Seriously – this is massive progress for me. Had my morning Vida at Green Point Vida as opposed to the usual Wembley Square, which threw me for starters. A lot of mommies with Dior glasses chumming little brats in babygap with pasteis de coco. Anyway, then made my way with my mucho Meie de Leit over to the Cape Royal hotel (which is very pleasant indeed – I could probably be quite happy there were it my official residence) where I was to drop nugget bombs of web marketing wisdom for the Huddlemind Word of Mouse course (which I did quite well – even wore a dress, showed some leg). Finished my talk and then stayed to hear Seth Rotherham talk about his rise to internet stardom via 2oceansvibe, which is a great story, btw, try corner him in the bathrooms at Caprice and make him tell it to you some day. MAKE him.  All in all this was a lot of stimulation for one morning and am nowly safely back at Wembley, ‘getting on with work’. Am considering branching out and going to Camps Bay vida tomorrow am, but that might just be too much for one week.

The man, the legend.

The man, the legend.

Id be pretty happy staying in one of these swanky bathrooms.

I'd be pretty happy staying in one of these swanky bathrooms.

Close encounters with the TBG while brainstorming

See kids? THIS is what can happen if you get into advertising. You work late nights without being paid overtime. You present endless options on ideas, and they all get bombed for whatever reason. You get harangued for being on the internet ‘when you should be working’. You mooch around Wembley Square for hours on end, “brainstorming”.  And then the TBG walks in, and makes it all worthwhile.

And suddenly everything is wonderful.

And suddenly everything is wonderful.

Read more about similarly inspiring encounters with TBG here.