Category Archives: geek

Yalls what is Google trying 2 tell us via the Nexus One?

Y’ulz. Been thinking about Google lately. Trying to figure out whether 2 be excited about the Nexus One, and just how excited I should get. Should I get so amped about the Nexus One that I bash my head against a wall until my skull cracks like an egg and blood seeps into my kaftan that I bought at Kalk Bay because it came all squashed like a brick (packaging gimmick), like the rest of Twitter (via herd-mentality)?



Should I ALLCAPS on my twitter about ‘finally’ and ‘at last – the iPhone eater’ (via a good downfall-gawk?)



Should I RT EVERYTHING about the Nexus so that ppl who follow me (& pay my ‘social media salary’) will think I am ‘down with the latest developments in cellular technology’ and that I am ‘passionate about the future of technology’ & not just mooching off my employer 2 get cheap prozac (thanks Discovery) which I will negate via drinking anyway because I am actually gay and Prozac ‘don’t make u straight’?



Y’ulz, truth is I don’t know how to deal with the new contestant in the smartphone showdown. Just seems like I’d made peace with not wanting 2 ‘murder’ the retards who buy Blackberries over iPhones (y’alls SERIOUSLY – can we just take a moment here).



Feel like we should look closely at the Nexus. From my first inspeksh seems quite ordinary. Wasn’t ‘grabbed’ enough 2 take a second inspeksh so y’all enjoy:


2 quote gussilber,

“Wouldn’t it be nice if Google came up with a phone that didn’t look as if they’d just Googled an iPhone.”

Just another smartphone y’ulz. Is really just confusing things for us plebs. This kind of reminds of that one time when Jack Welch decided 2 ‘save GE’ (via investing more in plastics & pulling out in appliances). Does the arrival of the Nexus mean ‘Search is Dead’? Are GoogleAdWords the new ‘Book of the Dead’? What is Google trying 2 tell us y’ulz. Soooo confused. Just CANNOT comprehend why Googley would ‘branch out into hardware’.


Scared y’alls. Something is looming in the Googley distance. Miss you Jack. You’d know which phone 2 buy that would ‘see GE into the 21st century’ (via your email synched with your twitter). Maybe if u had an iPhone / BlackBurr / Nexus you could have prevented the recesh.

Psychographic Profile: I have an invite to Googlewave

I have an invite to Googlewave
I don’t know anyone else who has one
Which makes me feel awesome
But at the same time lonely
Since Googlewave is useless without other ppl to wave to
No matter, gonna gloat about it on the twitter
Gonna sync my twitter to my fbook status
So everyone knows how ahead and technologically “on it” I am
I HAVE AN INVITE TO GOOGLE WAVE

Yeah! Googlewave! Yeah!

Yeah! Googlewave! Yeah!

Gonna excuse myself from this meeting
And lock myself in the stall at the end in the bathrooms of my office
And do a dance out of excitement at my GOOGLEWAVE invite (maybe touch my peen)
Jiggy jiggy, jiggy jiggy
You like that huh? Jiggy Jiggy
Applebottom googlewaveboots with the googlewave…”
Gonna go back to the meeting room
Just drop this l’il bomb
“Oh, shoot, looks like I just got a Googlewave invite,”
And jizz on my face at the blank expressions on the faces of my colleagues
(they’ll never understand me or my ideas. I’m a visionary, they are laggards.)

Yeah! Googlewave! Fuck me!

Yeah! Googlewave! Fuck me!

I have an invite to Googlewave
Gonna watch lots of videos on ‘how Googlewave works’
Gonna tweet them out, with commentary
(“I find the function that allows you to collapse or expand inline comments really useful” - cue sound of my sperm hitting you in the forehead)
Gonna get all frenzied up when ppl tweet about ‘how dumb it is to get excited about Googlewave since you need other ppl 2 B on it’
Gonna defend it ‘to the death’ from the fucking tards who don’t “get it”
“You’ll see – Googlewave is gonna change EVERYTHING!”
I HAVE AN INVITE TO GOOGLEWAVE
Googlewave 4 eva!!!!!!1!

Fuckyfuckyyyyeeeeeaaaahhhhgooooglewave!

Fuckyfuckyyyyeeeeeaaaahhhhgooooglewave!

I have an invite to Googlewave
I used to be married but that was lame (couldn’t collapse the inline fighting over remote control)
My wife divorced me because I had to wake up at 3am to ‘wave’ to ppl in America (is what U get when U marry a laggard)
Totally don’t regret it – Googlewave is gonna “change the way we do business”, you’ll see
Just let me know if you want 2 know how it works (via a link to googlewave.com/help)
So I can point out how STUPID your LIFE is compared to Googlewave’s GENIUS
If you don’t have Googlewave you might as well tattoo STUPID PERSON WHO IS BEHIND AND STUPID on your forehead
Unless you want me 2 invite u. I can hook u up.
U want an invite? Coz I can hook u up. I can change your life. You just have to say yes. I’ll hook U up.
Googlewave is LOVE. Anything else is FEAR.
Love or Fear?
LOVE OR FEAR?
WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE?
I HAVE AN INVITE TO GOOGLEWAVE
I’M SO FUCKINGARGHKJFGJHERGFKJHDFBVKJHDFBVJDHSFBV,JSDHFBVGOOGLEWAVE!!!!


I'm gonna fuck my face yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Fuck! Googlewave!

the $1,00 Polaroid

The Shake It app is the new love of my iPhone life. Srsly. Was happy with the iPhone. Was okay with its mediocre photos. But then I found Shake It, and now everything is different, especially since I’ve just come out of mourning the official death of Polaroid, having only had a Polaroid for 1 year and only taken 20 shots on one, ever. Think I might go eat a whole bunch of fast food to celebrate and ‘express my joy through junk food’. Maybe y’ulle can suggest a similarly edgy indulgence. Will maybe just go take photos of fast food. Who knows. Intros Shake It:

Rose Lover

Rose Lover

Lady Diana

Lady Diana

Dudebros

Dudebros

Dance Dance Dance

Dance Dance Dance

Balconic Romance

Balconic Romance

Through the Diana

Through the Diana

Precarious

Precarious

You can see more in my Flickr Set.


new Moxyland cover

the real die-hard readers of this site will remember a time, quite long ago, when I was helping a friend with her book launch. well that friend has since had her novel snapped up by Angry Robot publishers, who have bought the first novel and are paying her to write a sequel, and have also insisted on a new cover to go with an international launch (Moxyland will be launching in the UK and Australia - read about all the details here). i’m very sentimental about the old cover because it took up a very real part of my life, but i like the new cover too. here are both:

The South African launch cover, designed by Joey Hifi. Click the image to see more of his awesome work.

The South African launch cover, designed by Joey Hifi. Click the image to see more of his awesome work.

The UK / Australia Angry Robot version.

The UK / Australia Angry Robot version.

The new cover definitely takes the book into teen territory, which may or may not  make Lauren a billionaire (achoo-Twilight). Anyway I look most forward to watching Lauren take over the world, one Moxyland at a time. And now for a picture of the author in repose with her beautiful daughter:

Too cute. Thats a baby creative genius right there.

Too cute. That's a baby creative genius right there.

DM of the day.

Too good not to share.

Hey, have you ever emailed someone asking for a ffffound.com invite?

What was it like? Did they LOL @yourusername? Or did they send you a really nice email explaining yet apologising at the same time for ‘the way of the world’? Wish I had a ffffound.com username. But on the brightside, at least I have something to aspire to in life.

a marketing2.0 story told in tweets

oh, it’s on!

My loyal readers will remember way back to the week before last, when Jenny and I spotted a spelling error in a kitkat URL (we’re that kind of agency) and decided to register the correct spelling, so that we could place a humourous tactical ad there, or something equally thrilling such as a photo of our breasts.

Alas, alack, we never got to upload the photo of our breasts because the guy who owned the incorrectly spelt URL woke up about it, and what followed was a fairly amusing email and hand-made sign exchange.

The debarcle was posted by Seth over at 2oceansvibe, and it seems a certain Ryan has a little beef with us. Actually, a lot of beef with us. He’s started one hell of a comments war, which really only makes it funnier. Love ya, Ryan. Shame, we’ll make you a sign tomorrow, okay?

Jenny and Alex

What could have been.

What could have been.

attention cool people with taste everywhere

yes, yes, YES. shall i compare these to an interior design orgasm? introducing tetris tiles. need.i.say.more.

when i look at these, something warm comes over me. it spreads through my body and makes me think about settling down and building a home of my own. moving swiftly along.

new phrase: microglo@ting

coined by mallix and myself, it’s when people brand-drop on twitter. tech brands, car brands, tech names, blog names, personal brand references… if you name it on twitter for no real good reason apart from taking the opportunity to let twitterers know you drive a jeep / are on your 5th MacBook Air / know Kanye West personally, you’re glo@ting. ch-ch-ch-check it out:

TheHyrax i wish ppl wouldn’t stare in the traffic. what you’ve never seen a porsche b4? maybe my HOTTIE nr plate is 2 much. :( about 1 hour ago from web

thecopyninja @TheHyrax, you think that’s bad, you should see the looks I get in my MAGIC CARPET about 1 hour ago from web in reply to TheHyrax

TheHyrax @thecopyninja: its prob similar to when people catch me blogging on my LTD release iPhone 3G Jobs Worx edition. staying discreet is a job! about 1 hour ago from web in reply to thecopyninja

Dplanet @TheHyrax – did I microglo@t when I mentioned that the CD burned in my MacBook Pro is broken? about 1 hour ago from web in reply to TheHyrax

mallix everyone has a macbook. u can’t brag about it? about 1 hour ago from twitterrific

TheHyrax @Dplanet: no, Macbook is now so mainstream it doesn’t count as cool anymore. is it a Steve Jobs WORX LTD EDTN? like mine? i’m a betatester. about 1 hour ago from web in reply to Dplanet

thecopyninja @TheHyrax, is that like my SOLID GOLD -4G- iPhone? about 1 hour ago from web in reply to TheHyrax

TheHyrax @thecopyninja:i was going to get the 4G but i have hassles linking it 2 my Sidekick in SA.T-mobile hate me.good thing i earn dollars – phew! about 1 hour ago from web in reply to thecopyninja

*************XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**************************

i’m sure you get the idea. microglo@ting – you read it here first.

awesomeness of the day: 1up cupcakes

made by my friend renee for her boyfriend’s birthday. super cool.

a day of lists

first one being South African Twitter users wiki.

and then second being number 1638 on the Million Blog List experiment.

DIY jewellery love

neonwatches

neon-sprayed cheap old watches. awesome. found at Naughty Secretary Club.

how to respond to critics: uwe boll speaks out

i’ve always had a soft spot for people who speak out and defend themselves. to me it shows substance. much slated German director Uwe Boll has released a statement regarding an internet petition to stop him from making movies. for those of you who aren’t familiar with his movies click here. and this is what he has to say.

love it.

yes please: camera glasses – never get escorted out of a shopping mall ever again

this is a must-have for our grasses, who are forever telling us about how security in malls and branded parties are asking them to delete their photos. pity about how the glasses actually look, but maybe Spitfire can get in this asap.

cameraglasses

find more about them here.

via thinkgeek.

south african novel of the year: Moxyland

25th of April is the launch date for Lauren Beukes’s first novel – Moxyland. I have been privvy to the manuscript pre-publishing, and i sincerely hope it goes cult classic. set in a future Cape Town, your life is controlled by your cellphone, you are hostage to a government that oppresses its citizens through censorship and genetically modified Alsations called Aitos watch your every move. the character cast is made up of an artist who sells her body to an energy drink in exchange for being able to create her art, a super genius hacker who helps her digital graffiti friends break through information control to disseminate the truth and a rich kid blogger who has a sociopathic lack of conscience. i sincerely hope it gets picked up by a large rich studio looking for something different to produce and gets made into a movie. anyhow watch this space, i will be well documenting the launch.

moxyland cover