Category Archives: purchase process

Now that I use Nomu products must I buy a new car?

Y’ulz been pondering something. I recently was introduced to Nomu foods, and now ‘nothing but Nomuwill do when it comes 2 ‘rubbing my chops’ prior 2 grilling. Even have the Nomu range of ‘fonds’ (bet NONE of y’all have a fond in ur kitchen – whachu a-gonna do?). Has basically “changed my life”. Can now ‘invite ppl from higher social echelons’ 2 ‘talk shop over dinner’ (always kinda felt inadequate with my Knorr pasta mixes. Like I wanted 2 die.).

Add 2 that the fact that I am recently 26 and no longer qualify in the ‘youth demographic’, am starting 2 question whether I need to ‘adapt or die’ (via evolving my brand repertoire & social echelon steadily upwards, as opposed 2 growing intermittently & possibly remaining in a social echelon doldrums & ‘living an ordinary life’ via ‘looking averagely wealthy / poor’.).

All this has led 2 the most NB question a ‘young professional who eats Nomu and is looking 2 purchase her first property & attract a mate’ must consider in her life:

“Is it time 2 trade in my car 4 a car that ‘makes me look more rich’ and in-keeping with the Appearance Description under the Psychographic segmentation for “Young Professionals”?”



I know y’ulz. Wish I didn’t have 2 ‘keep up with myself’. Wish I wasn’t so competitive. Wish I could ‘eat Nomu & drive a Yaris with clear conscience”, but I can’t. Life is so ‘filled with important decisions’ we must make that will ‘test my character’ and help me achieve my goal 2 ‘make my BFF feel inadequate’ via being better dressed / thinner than her / having a better facebook profile pic / driving a better car / owning a set of Nomu Fonds before they are officially launched.


What do y’ulz think? Is it ‘mini cooper time’? Mini cooper sport? Are Mini Cooper’s still cool or have they “aged badly”? Would y’alls ‘get offended’ if I ‘leap-frog’ my place in the ‘consumption cycle’ and just “go straight 2 a 1-series”?


Should I sue myself for not buying myself a ghd sooner?

Okay. Every once in a while, I experience something that prompts me to ‘drop that stupid, irritating voice’ i use to write on my blog and ‘just get real’. The ghd Style Lounge – which i was privileged enough to attend on Friday evening – is one such brand activation which has prompted such drastic action. In all seriousness – “srsly y’all” – this event blew my mind. “O RLY?” i hear you say. “Howcome y’ulz?” I hear you say. I’ll attempt to do justice to the sheer delight that was having my makeup done by Benefit, my hair styled by 2 ghd Angels, then being styled by Accessorize and being given a remote control with which to shoot myself. Not in the foot, but on an infinity curve that had been set up, “just like a real-life photo shoot”. Oh my word. Oh my hat.

Firstly, the venue was just amazing. Roodebloem Studios in Woodstock, for those interested:

A magical wonderland.

You walked in, were greeted with a glass of Krone and a Vitamin Water, and then you went and waited with sumptuous snacks until a Benefit artist could start doing your makeup.

Sumptuous snacky treats.

Sumptuous snacky treats.

Waiting area.

Delicious product display.

More delicious product display.

Benefit's Beauty Bootcamp

The Result: Makeup by Benefit

Once you got your makeup did, you had a little more Krone before heading over to the Style Stations (see above) to have your hair done by 2 lovely ghd Angels. Since my hair is naturally straight, I asked for them to ‘get a l’il zany y’ulz’ and give me some curls and, most importantly, show me how to make curls with a ghd (Creation Mist, Hold Spray, Obedience cream and…go!). This really was revelatory to me – I had no idea you could curl with an iron. “Srsly y’ulz” – no idea.

A before photo: hair is still untouched.

Hair: a work in progress

No hair “After” pic yet because those were a part of the shoot we had on location, but I’ll upload them as soon as I get them. Once hair got did, we were taken in hand by a stylist who added a little something special to the look we were creating, to make us a little more ‘shoot ready’.

Accessories! Yay!

Getting styled. Glove love.

And then I was given the top 2 ghd products to suit my hair as recommended by one of the ghd Angels.

Miracle mist and obedience cream.

In the words of my blog:

“Srsly y’ulz – should I sue myself for not buying a GHD sooner?”

Check out all the pics from the other ghd Style Lounge activations here on facebook, or at the ghd Style Diary. PS. Benefit makeup can only be bought at Woolworths. Anyone looking to ‘treat me for xmas y’ulz’, hit me up with one of their fab products.

The unboxing of my Lady Diana

Me, copywriter, iPhone owner, spoilt for photography choice

Me Love Lomo Lady Diana


Me Love Lady Diana so pretty in her plastic


Me Love Lady “never know what you’re going to get” Diana


Me Love Lady “unpacking it is part of the fun” Diana

Me Love you Lady Diana, me take you on holiday, take photos like this


If you want free Lady Diana, you go buy something at Hang Ten stores in December, you maybe win one (secret tip)

Should I take out Personality Insurance?

Hey yulle. Been a little concerned lately that I am ‘slightly offensive’ to some ppl. My mom tells me I am funny and that ‘I shouldn’t change my blog for anyone’ but I’m not sold. Am pretty sure there’s a point at which I will offend the fans who LOL at my Psychographic Profiles at some time or other, and then it will just be me, writing and eating chicken wraps, thinking of ‘the good old days when ppl liked me & gave me iPhones and clicked on my links’.

Been looking at some case studies to establish best practice in Personality Insurance strategies. Found this to be pretty true:

Based on Alex’s Celebrity Study 2009 © one can pretty much conclude that ‘parading around telling people you believe in Jesus’ will allow you to get away with being a total sluttard (totally coined a new word).

One of my heroes. And the hero of most ambitious young women out there.

Miss Montag. One of my heroes. And the hero of most ambitious young women out there.

Same study also says that ‘lording around as if you own the place, when you do own the place (and own other places)’ will allow you to get away with being a sluttard.

My runner up hero. I respect her because she came from nothing and earned everything she has herself.

My runner up hero. I respect her because she came from nothing and earned everything she has herself.

Since I don’t really own anything and am more into ‘being given stuff’ I may have to go the Jesus route. What do y’uls think? Does Jesus suit my hair colour? Is it a rad scene? Does my personal brand allow for something like a ‘religious sub-brand’? Will I be cannibalizing my own brand by taking out personality insurance? What does my brand bible say about this?


Hmm. Does anyone know if Jesus is real? Maybe they can test it on Mythbusters or something. That would be a rad episode. To conclude, I drew a graph.

Some insights for your next strategic meeting.

Some insights for your next strategic meeting.

Until Mythbusters proves Jesus is real I’m just gonna sit tight on my Personality Insurance application. Have any of y’ulle got a better deal than being Christian or rich? Should I call the hippo on TV and let it ‘find me the best quote’ for Personality Insurance? Wish it wasn’t so complicated. Feels like the Personality Insurance industry is pretty stuck in the dark ages. Someone tell them to ‘get on twitter’.

Am I stuck in the 90s?

Hey yulz. Been feeling down lately. Been worried that I am ‘stuck in the 90s’. The other day was driving and saw a Calvin Klein orgy billboard and it ‘appealed to my sensibilities’ and ‘spoke to my aspirations of being a liberal individual who is also hot’, which planted the seed of worry.

Then I walked past Ed Hardy at the waterfront and actually considered ‘paying money to look like some trashy slut’ who digs rhinestones and skulls and tattoo-vibes, which is when the warning bells really kicked in.

A picture of class.

A picture of class.


Then, as I was perusing this season’s handbags, I almost dropped 1k on a piece of shit Guess handbag, because I momentarily forgot the rules.

How to smell rich.

How to smell 'rich'.

Then I experienced an urge to ‘push social boundaries’ by being free-spirited and zany and ‘experimenting with social taboos’ by sleeping with all my friends (guys and girls). Was a low point. Might as well drench myself in CK1 and put Nevermind on repeat.

Anyone got a vial of blood I can wear round my neck? Is 4 my image.

Anyone got a vial of blood I can wear round my neck? Is 4 my image.

Then sat at home and felt crap about myself, and decided that I need bigger boobs, which sent me spiralling, because if anything is soooo last decade, it’s big boobs. Mother of god.

Big Boobs. Not renowned for dating well.

Big Boobs. Not renowned for dating well.

And then came the last straw: I was catching up on the mandatory morning reading and saw that Britney had died her hair dark again, and I wondered if I should exclaim loudly about how much I hate her. Maybe subject a few innocent colleagues to my opinions about ‘how dumb Britney is’. Which was when I realised it: I am stuck in the 90s.

Britney-hating: the ultimate 90s opinion.

Britney-hating: the ultimate 90s opinion.

Feel very down. Can’t believe I thought I was a child of the new millennium. Thought I was original and intellectual and free-spirited and one-of-a-kind and ‘unique’. Thought that people ‘see something different and special’ in me because I go against the social grain and ‘cannot be controlled’. But now I realised I’m just a retard loser stuck in the 90s. FML.

In prison. These are my memoirs.

Hey y’ulle. Bet some of y’all are thinking I’ve been very quiet for someone who gets free stuff for writing a load of crap about brands on her blog. I have been quiet, but not by choice. I might be killed for saying this, but I’m being held captive by Vodacom’s 3G “service”.

See, I took out a contract thinking having Internet at home would mean 2 things: a) more time at work to focus on winning a Grand Black Lion Eagle Canned Loerie Award at work and b) more time to focus on bringing my 70 billion or so readers a better blog, filled with truth disguised as semi-illiterate irony within the context of my life as an attention-seeking copywriter with a god-complex (ie the ‘Everyman of Advertising’).

Alas, alack, my good intentions are half-way to hell by now, as is the soul of Vodacom, for selling me a service that doesn’t actually exist. Dear readers, you’ll notice a prominent lack of ‘funny pictures’, links and my trademark random pink, orange and green word-colouring in this post, and for that I apologize. They don’t allow a full-service WYSIWYG editing suite here in prison. It’s just me, my iPhone and the WordPress app. It’s cold, and there are rat apps gnawing at my feet apps. Where is my god now?

I’m going to try and blog once more tomorrow. I doubt Vodacom will let me. They’ve already confiscated the razor blades I was going to use to terminate our contract. Not really sure what the point of living without blogging is. Might have to think it through in another low-Fi blog post. MTN, Cell C – if you’re Reading this, please, send help. Destroy this blog post after Reading it. And tell my Mom I love her.

I wait with hope,
Alex

Happy Valentine’s Day y’ulle.

Hope you all had a good day on Saturday. Hope your boyfriend / girlfriend / sympathetic parent bought you something red, shiney and heart-shaped. You can be sure they got it free in the queue at Woolworths when they were doing groceries on their WW card because times are hard.

I had a good V-day. Managed to score 2 free heart choccies from Woolies. Managed to score a dining room table and a knife set. Nothing like a knife set for V-day.

Cut out this template with a knife and create your very own V-day promo at home. Your BF / BFF will think you are a premium retailer with a future.

Cut out this template with a knife and create your very own V-day promo at home. Your BF / BFF will think you have official ties to a premium retailer.

Just want to say thanks to Virgin Active for hanging cut-out paper hearts in their foyer. It definitely made me feel all loved-up coming to gym and walking under some cut-out paper hearts on my way to the change room. They were even cut out by hand, which made me think warm thoughts about off-duty personal trainers sitting in the staff lounge, cutting hearts out of red, pink and white paper, not even noticing the smell of foot in the furniture because they are so used to it. <3 personal trainers.

Make.Your.Own.Ambient.V-day.Media.

Make.Your.Own.Ambient.V-day.Media.

Also want to say thanks to glomobi for offering me a pink dancing bear that I can ‘order’ via SMS and send to my loved one(s) / personal trainer. Just can’t get enough of cute animated vibes speaking in a helium voice on my cellphone. Cute animated helium vibes is the new coal. Gonna stop before I get all nostalgic about ‘a simpler time’.

Also want to thank the big 3  Mass Market LSM 4 – 8 major retailers (Louis Vuitton, Guess and Gucci) for sending me Valentine’s messages, and notifying me of the various specials, promos and great deals available in store today. Not sure if I would be this content with my current life choices had I not picked up a new handbag as a Gift With Purchase (GWP) when I bought another 75ml tube of 8-hour cream that I don’t use. <3 being in an economic boom while rest of earth is in a recession.

Make.Your.Own.V-day.Tactical.Media.Blitz.

Make.Your.Own.V-day.Tactical.Media.Blitz.

Did y’ulle manage to get any good deals on cosmetics / cool GWPs / experience any lovey ambient media / get free heart chocolates NOT made from cooking chocolate / flyers for Valentine’s Day tyre specials on your windscreen this V-day? MSG me with details, can’t wait to trade stories / choccies.

why i will never wear Puma:

Because it rhymes with Zuma.


happarently: pop-up rumours

word is there’s a sneaker / skate pop- up store stocking cr8tive recreation goods on the corner of loop and bloem streets in cape town CBD. i’ve long been a fan of CR but i haven’t seen any stock in SA that I’m thrilled with. maybe these guys have better luck. the store’s only gonna be there for 60 days so don’t dilly dally too la la long.

Mmm CR goodness.

Mmm CR goodness.

giving Peter Pan Syndrome the (re)boot. now LOLing at the pun i made in my headline. LOL. wish i was me.

the time for me to grow up has finally arrived. see, for the past 3 years i have been freeloading off the companies i work for and relying on my oral sex skills to keep me in laptops. but now in these harsh economic times it seems that not even a blowjob can get passed under the tax table without someone asking why the new girl has the MacBook Pro Aluminium Ltd Edition Steve Jobs worx, and the sad truth is that if i want a fancy laptop i am going to have to buy one. sigh.

some people ask me, “Alex, why didn’t you buy one ages ago, you are so digital and stuff, surely you want your own super duper machine??”

it’s a good question, but i have a good answer, and that is that buying a piece of digital as meaningful and statement-making as a laptop makes me want to wet myself just so that i have something else to think about. see, the machine i buy will slot me into someone’s pigeonhole, and i have a lot of brand therapy to get through before i even start on my digital brand-made persona. for example, i am still not drinking alcohol because making a decision about what to drink and hence making a statement about who i am really is too much for me. this girl can’t cope with that right now, not before i decide on my summer sunglasses brand. and now i have been forced between a work-provided desktop PC (yes they still make them LOL) and some sort of mobile digital device that says the following about me:

- i am an innovator and not afraid to try and buy new things and i am smart enough to make the choice that is not the obvious one for everyone else but totally works for me

- i am rich and have a lot of money to throw around despite everyone suffering in these harsh economic times which means i am an anomaly and hence highly desirable as a friend / colleague / blogger / girlfriend / cool chick in ur photos / person taking photos at your self-published book launch

- i have an amazing sense of style and taste that makes anyone who sees my piece of digital feel inadequate in all that they do, including their career, who they are as a person, as a lover and of course, especially, on levels of physical attractiveness

- i have my shit together yet i am also a slightly kooky wildcard and my digital piece is alternately an object of love and peace and beauty and a devastating weapon of destruction and slicey words that will blow your mind and also make you see things differently and change your perspective on how you view yourself

- that i am a self-starting innovative go-getter who will stop at nothing to release her single / publish her book / write her blog / twitter her thoughts / upload photos of her rad life / download photos of her friends’ rad lives / shop online for her favourite brands (as of yet just a handful because i am really discerning)

Do I want a laptop that talks to me and tells me Im funny and smart? Or should by laptop automatically reply to people who write to me on facebook so i dont have to? Features are very NB when choosing a laptop.

Need laptop with auto-facebook-reply to keep in touch with my "friends".

***************************************************************************************

you see how hard this decision is? do i get a sony viaoaoaooo or whatever in pastel pink because it contradicts my strong jawline? or do i get the new macbook air because it’s completely useless in south africa and it will make people wonder how i make my money? or do i go against the laptop grain and get the most advanced blackberry known to mankind and make a big deal of blogging at the family christmas or whenever i’m in a mall? would i go to malls just to blog and start a mall-blogging trend?

Which laptop brings out the natural beauty in my eyes? Which laptop makes me appear younger and prettier than I am?

Which laptop makes me appealing to child predators?

this decision will have severe repercussions, make no mistake. i just want y’ulle to know that i’m putting a lot of thought into it and can promise that i will make the right decision when the times comes, and i might change my mind, but that will be the right decision, too.

brands being socially conscious

Cape Union Mart’s come out with a fleece made purely from recycled materials.

rubbishfleece

Visi magazine released a biodegradable shopping bag:

visibioshopper

these recycled notebooks are made by the Remarkable company, and you can get them at the Wellness Centres springing up around town:

remarkablenotebook

YDE has some recycled shoppers too:

YDErecycled

YDErecycled2

Vida e caffe gets its green on:

vidagreen1

vidagreen2

the sole reason i go to canal walk shopping centre

is for Spitfire sunglasses, who are always on the mark when it comes to providing us consumers here with up-to-date shades. retailers take note. designer labels too, the selections of which are even worse, since they still think the third world doesn’t know its fashion or read perez and therefore they supply us with 2 year old stock at premium prices. mass market retailers, why am i still seeing those big round nicole richie vibe glasses everywhere? they’re so 2006. get with the program guys. i got a few variations on this wayfarer style but these are my favs for what’s left of summer, shown here with freshly trimmed hair:

spitfiresunnies

store cards: who’s getting it right

every time i open my wallet i get this sick feeling, probably not uncommon to many people since opening your wallet is synonymous with dishing out hard earned cash, but the reason for my mounting nausea is the fact that i have, oh, 6 billion store cards confronting me every time i want to do something simple, like get change for a card guard or pull out that worn fortune cookie with the lotto numbers on it.
the nausea reached fever pitch over the holidays, when i was doing a large amount of opening my wallet, and something inside me snapped. as a kind of consumer extraordinaire (truly, i sign up for everything i lay my eyes on partly because it’s my job and party because i’m curious that these brands may have something meaningful to offer me) i am exposed to vast amounts of brand propaganda, most of which i can say (with good authority) is a load of gunk. and i just kind of had enough.

even though there are benefits to buying with a store / loyalty card over cash, i can’t help but feel i’m being duped every single time, especially since i’m not really into buying when i can’t afford stuff (one of the perks of not being a ‘Black Diamond’, whatever that is anyway), which is precisely what a store card is designed to do. so i emptied my wallet onto the kitchen counter and stared at my plastic fairweather friends for a good long time before i decided to act on Oprah’s advice and ‘cut the bad people out of my life’.

as more and more marketers realise that niching is the way to go in terms of communication, store cards are one area where i just don’t think it works, because you take for granted the fact that the consumer actually wants to remember what benefit you’re delivering. while staring at the cards i’d accumulated, i couldn’t think of a single benefit meaningful enough to stop me cutting up the cards.

discount movies? i don’t watch enough movies at the cinema to care. my movies come to me through the internet, through friends, through registered mail from the UK since i can’t be bothered to wait a whole year to watch what i want to watch.

the ability to return goods for cash? okay this one works. the woolworths card made it out whole.

points that contribute to flights? um, no thanks. i don’t desperately need to fly anywhere. plus you have to use this particular card as your everyday card in order for this to truly pay off. plus there’s a limit to how many points you can earn anyway, so that card got the chop.

being able to buy fast moving consumer goods (ie. crap) at particular stores on credit? i already have a credit card, a bank based one, which is admin enough to manage anyway so you’ll forgive me for seeing superfluous credit the same way i see men who flirt with you while you’re in a relationship, ie. it’s fun but essentially useless and a waste of time. oooh, 6 months interest free? okay, that’s a bonus. but again, if it’s taking me 6 months to pay off any kind of credit i’d say it’s time to think about your life, because unless you’re paying off some kind of emergency, you’re probably living in denial.

my exclusive books fanatics card made it through, because i buy on average 6 books a month and always get some sort of decent return. my vide e loyalty card got scrapped though, since i spend enough money there to have shares in the company and in my entire 2 years of having the card i have quite possibly only ever received one free coffee. and as for my levi’s card…i’ve just got some old post and it seems the card scheme closed in September 07. guess it didn’t really take off.

anyway, after having made a flower sculpture out of all the excess cards, i strolled into kenilworth medi clinic for a routine doctor’s appointment and saw this:

edcongroupcards

paying your medical bills with a shoe store card? talk about an incentive. big up to Edcon, who realise that if there’s one thing their consumers are likely to need on credit it’s medicine, since 2 out of every 3 people in this country is HIV positive.

on expensive toys

pleostroke

pleobox2

i came across this review of the new cool AI dinosaur toy, the Pleo, on Notcot today. i found it rather funny because i used to own a roboraptor. it was a rad toy, but you need to control it, or it would bash around banging its head against the furniture and shrieking menacingly whenever something around it moved. i remain loyal to the roboraptor despite its innate violence and digruntled nature – it was modelled after a raptor after all. but this sounds pretty cool.

below is an old pic my roboraptor’s first christmas.

raptorxmas

raptorpresent