Tag Archives: long street

a nun in the window: a nice story

one night, last week, Rei and I went for sushi at Minato off Long Street with some friends. we ate sushi. we laughed. we ate crying rolls. we cried. we lolled at the evil signs on the door (“Forgot to book? Well we are full. HA HA HA.”). Then we all decided to find dessert and strolled off in the direction of the ice cream shop. While walking past the internet cafe, we spotted a nun in the window at a computer. I begged Rei to take a picture of this fascinating anomaly with his Lomo Diana F+ camera. We snuck around trying to get a good shot before we decided that asking her if we could take her picture would be easiest. We tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned out to be a man who was more than happy to have her photo taken. S/he pulled me onto her lap and squeezed my breasts as the flash went off. Turns out her name is Sister Mary James Costello and she does shows (click here to check out her geocities page – soooo retro). S/he added me on facebook there and then, and now we are facebook friends. What a nice story.

Sister Mary and Me. Like Marley and Me. Heartwarming.

Sister Mary and Me. Like Marley and Me. Heartwarming.


birthday snaps

some pics from Reijer’s birthday drinks at Neighbourhood in Long Street on Monday night. Temperature was 32 degrees at 10pm. Sweaty fun.

Marijke, Elisma, Lucy.


making the ‘trendies’.

so cherryflava wrote about the trailer park hotel opening at the Grand Daddy in Long Street and posted this fine ol’ pic of me and my bear:

Me and my boo (bear). Things are just fine now that Mama Bears left.

Me and my boo (bear). Things are just fine now that Mama Bear's left.

should i go blonde y’ulle? should i quit my job and be goldilocks full time? i could probably do Snow White and Jasmine from Aladdin too, if i don’t cut my hair as planned on Wednesday. maybe i could sign some sort of endorsement deal with various sponsors looking to add some sort of ingenue /sex fetish appeal. maybe Jessica Simpson Hair ExtensionsTM ‘n me should talk.

have any of y’ulle ever been featured on a ‘trend blog’? not sure how i feel about it. wondering if i’ve accomplished a subconscious lifetime dream. thank goodness i wasn’t featured for not wearing panties at the Assembly / for having 8 babies / for slashing toddlers at a daycare / for being ‘too real’. all of the above would suck as trends. am feeling a bit worried because now that i have been featured once, i’ve had a taste of trend fame. i want more.

i want to BE the superbowl. i want to BE the amy winehouse beehive. i want to BE the intriguing diagram that conveys how men think about nothing but sex and beer. i want to BE the ‘funniest complain letter in the world, ever’. i want to BE sneezing baby panda.

maybe i’ll just settle for blonde. life’s confusing enough as it is. speaking of confusing, have y’ulle seen the Cadbury’s Drumming Gorilla ad 2.0? it features 2 kids who move their eyebrows to the rhythm of the backing track, and presumably, the rhythm of their souls.

hmm. really makes me think. did y’ulle rush off to the bathroom right after you favourited this on your youtube to see if you could do that with your eyebrows? i can’t, in case you were wondering. did y’ulle rush out and buy (cadbury’s) chocolate right after you saw this ad? (i didn’t. only eat lindt even though i have to draw from my mortgage to pay for it, but i’d never compromise my personalbrand 4 money). maybe this ad is aimed at kids and we just don’t get it.

do you think this ad is exploiting childrens? you know how weird childrens can be – almost every children has some sort of strange nervous tick that their parents have to wean them off through expensive therapy / ritalin / mood stabilizers / beating the shit out of them / being alcoholic parents ‘to give the kid something real 2 worry about’. i’m not sure whether advertisers should be exploiting this insight into children and family dynamics. will someone report this to the ACA? the CIA? the AA? not sure what kind of help these 2 exploited young ‘uns need. maybe someone can sponsor a doll for them so they can point out where they were touched on their faces when this ad was made.

i’m also scared of what kind of repercussions this ad is going to have. what if popular clubs like The Assembly and Bassline and 88 start playing a beaty remix of this track, thereby encouraging drunk patrons to mimic these offensively naff eyebrow movements? what if squeeky balloons become the new rave whistles / glow sticks / lollipops / vuvuzelas? what if i never stop asking silly questions on my blog followed by forward-slash-separated-variables? sigh. it’s going to be a really tough one because eyebrows are a lot harder to print branding on than rave whistles / glow sticks / lollipops / vuvuzelas, and the balloon will eventually deflate and is only a ‘temporary solution’.

not sure how to finish this post. hey look. more pictures of me as goldilocks.

Just ate some hot porridge.

Just ate some hot porridge.

Bears tell great jokes.

Bears tell great jokes.

new Western Cape Liquor Bill – good or bad thing?

so a lot of people on ‘the facebook’ are inviting me to sign some sort of pantyliner petition protesting the passing of the Western Cape Liquor Bill. this bill will mean clubs and places of disrepute will not be able to sell alcohol past 2am, thereby destroying lives, leaving children parentless, causing multiple road accidents, causing crime, pushing drunkards out into the streets where they cause chaos – oh no wait – that’s what happens if the liquor bill doesn’t get passed. that’s what happens right now, as it is. sorry for the confusion.

it’s hard not to see the flagrant injustice in the passing of this kind of bill. what will all those middle class afda / cape tech / UCT / vega dropouts have to blame their pregnancies on? how will rich white kids explain how they got syphilis to their parents, now that the only acceptable excuse -“i was sooo fucked” – will no longer be available? will it force the girls to admit that they just wanted to ‘secure a man’ for the future? is there anything wrong with ‘securing a man’ through pregnancy? is getting pregnant cheaper than taking out a policy with liberty life / more viable than getting a job? is getting syphilis more ‘fun’ than registering for tax? what your experiences y’ulle? is sleeping with all your friends more appealing than ‘getting a job’ and ‘being responsible adults’? hey have you ever heard drinkers boasting about how many pedestrians they’ve killed? apparently it’s the latest thing – getting drunk and then driving home / into a wall / into someone’s child / into another car. gotta stay ahead of what’s cool y’ulle.

and what about the ‘liberals’ who like to converse on the balconies of Long Street (The Waiting Room, Neighborhood), telling each other lies about who they are and offering each other jobs they don’t have the authority to offer? how will groups of friends all sleep together now that there’s nowhere to hang out drinking until having an orgy / hooking up with your ‘best friend’ seems like it’s a good idea? how will slags steal boyfriends now that most boyfriends will be sober and home at a decent hour? i feel like this liquor bill is really gonna throw a spanner into Cape Town’s social workings, y’ulle.

Save the liberals, yulle. They are just sensitive, creative souls who need to express themselves through getting drunk and sleeping with their friends / classmates / colleagues / friends of friends / the chick no one else wants to sleep with (pity f*ck a.k.a. material for art)

Save the liberals, y'ulle. They are just creative souls who need to express themselves through getting drunk and sleeping with their friends / classmates / colleagues / friends of friends / the chick no one else wants to sleep with (pity f*ck a.k.a. material for 'art')

without booze, how will we connect y’ulle? how will we overcome our introvert-by-nature personality types? how will we meet random strangers whom we can add as friends on facebook the next day, so we can tell ourselves that we are ‘meeting cool people’ and are ‘really connecting with awesome people, man’. how will we pretend that living in Cape Town is in any way socially rewarding?

how will we make mutually embarrassing memories to be brought up later in the workplace / at college / at tech / at varsity / at creative collective meetings / at Royale before our waitressing shift starts? what will we talk about if not how f*cked we all got last night (“Whoa last night was soooo hectic man”)? what will we say in our facebook statuses if we can’t say “xxx is ready to party! xxx just wants to party bro! xxx is feeling last night’s party man”?

I just wanna party. Lets party. Man, i was sooooo f*cked. I bonked some chick without a condom dude. What a party! Right on!

"I just wanna party. Let's party. Man, i was sooooo f*cked. I bonked some chick without a condom dude. What a party! Right on!"

Hey dude, when do we party? Can you pour shots of vodka in my mouth? Lets get so f*cked up a bonk a man instead of a chick. Whoo hoo whatever bra! Just, like, party!

"Hey dude, when do we party? Can you pour shots of vodka in my mouth? Let's get so f*cked up and bonk a man instead of a chick. Whoo hoo whatever bra! Just, like, party!"

i personally don’t know what the big fuss is about because y’ulle can just start drinking a little earlier. have y’ulle learnt nothing from the Winehouse? she just drinks all day, unphased by pub closing times. it doesn’t really interest me much because i don’t drink. drinking makes you ugly y’ulle. it makes your cheeks puffy and saggy and it bursts the little veins in your face. but i guess y’ulle who are drinkers sleep with other drinkers while drunk so you forgive stuff like that. i guess it helps coz you can tell if your potential mate ‘shares your interests’ while you’re sober because they look like shit. but i’m just surmising here. maybe y’ulle can set me straight. go have a party and set me straight.

“One for my baby, and one more for the Rosacea.” – Frank Sinatry, drinker opposed to the Western Cape Liquor Bill

Goldilocks and the Grand Daddy

went to go see Mark and Jo Stead’s caravan the other night. walked into the beautifully redone foyer of the old Metropole hotel (now the Grand Daddy as in Daddy Long Legs Art Hotel) and asked where i could find the caravans.

“You mean the Gulf Streams?” said the receptionist. Aren’t Gulf Streams jets? Turns out they are called “Airstreams”.  NEways, ascended the staircase and landed on the roof of the metropole. Mark and co were sitting around with ciders and wine. The only 2 caravans i saw worth documenting were Mark’s and another artist who did a polkadot dorothy theme. some pics:

Lotsa dotses.

Lotsa dotses.

Dot dot dot.

Dot dot dot.

Theres no place like home.

There's no place like home.

We were joking that it would be funny if the south easter picked up this caravan and dumped it in the middle of Bree Street.

We were joking that it would be funny if the south easter picked up this caravan and dumped it in the middle of Bree Street.

Me in a dot mirror.

Me in a dot mirror.

And onto Mark and Jo’s Gulf Stream Jet:

Momma bears chair. Note the embroidery in the cushion.

Momma bear's chair. Note the embroidery in the cushion.

Wait, this is more like Momma bears chair.

Wait, this is more like Momma bear's chair.

Bear family heritage. A proud mantelpiece.

Bear family heritage. A proud mantelpiece.

A solid bear face. The kind of bear youd like to sit down at a fireside with and talk berries and salmon.

A solid bear face. The kind of bear you'd like to sit down at a fireside with and talk berries and salmon.

Special bear porridge bowls.

Special bear porridge bowls.

Kinky post-its from Goldilocks.

Kinky post-its from Goldilocks.

Goldilocks wig. Her dress hangs up in the cupboard.

Goldilocks wig. Her dress hangs up in the cupboard.

The bear head is also in the cupboard. Things start looking very kinky round about now.

The bear head is also in the cupboard. Things start looking very kinky round about now.

Mark in his bear mask. Far more charming than the Dead Kennedys mask he wore to the christmas party.

Mark in his bear mask. Far more charming than the Dead Kennedy's mask he wore to the christmas party.

And there you have it. If you’d like to stay there, get ready to pay 4 star prices. Book by popping into 38 Long Street or by calling +27 21 424 7247 or by emailing info@granddaddy.co.za .

what if…?

i recently turned down a Dream Job. the position involved flying around the world, to any and all destinations, blogging about it and creating an online jetsetter personality. insane, right? i know. i turned it down simply because i had already accepted another version of Dream Job, which is slightly less glamourous sounding, but i had accepted it, and i need to know that when i say i’m going to do something, it means i’m really gonna do it. still, declining Dream Job was very hard, and it got me thinking…

…what if i had never gone to ad school. what would i have become? would i be painting smudgey pieces by day and dressing up like a free-spirited-but-stylish-in-a-kooky-way-scenester and hitting up parties at The Waiting Room or The Assembly with my air gun? threatening my nice friends who are just there to take photos of my great sense of fashion?

Photo from We-are-awesome.com

Gun-wielding Photo from We-are-awesome.com

or maybe i would have been a doctor, healing the sick, sewing up wounds with precision and detachment, using my vast sense of compassion to help others?

The Smart But Offbeat Eccentric Chick Doctor, Always Pranking Her Colleagues But Always On Time For Heart Surgery.

I imagine my Doctor Personality to be: The Smart But Offbeat Eccentric Chick Doctor, Always Pranking Her Colleagues But Always On Time For Heart Surgery.

maybe i would have been a secretary working for some high powered business dude who would make me pick up his kids and buy them wholesome low GI lunches? or maybe i would be like Maggie Gyllenhaal in that movie where she gets spanked the whole time and does her filing in handcuffs? maybe i would sing to my boss in a statement-making stripey top and slap him around a bit?

Working 9 to 5.... working 9 to 5....Working 9 - 7...Working late again...

"Working 9 to 5.... working 9 to 5...."

maybe i would have been a model. i would have stopped eating at the age of 20, and my bones would have become weak and there would be fluff growing all over my body but i would be HOT and i would have an equally physically ailing HOT model boyfriend and we could have kept each other company in our autumn years from the age of 25 – 30, when we both finally die from fashion overdoses and ‘the pressure of having to look good’.

its the modern way.

We'd have fights about how being next to one another makes the other feel less hot. Low-cal love: it's the modern way.

maybe i would have been a full time mommy, probably not married because i met the father of my kid during student night at Tiger Tiger and my mom would kick me out and i would live above a convenience store in Obz with another couple in their broom cupboard, suckling my piglet.

You want to Rap Battle.

M.I.A. getting fertile hipsters totally amped about their potential to bloom in pregnancy. Q: How do you know you are pregnant? A: You want to Rap Battle.

i think there will always be times when we wonder, “What if…?” but it’s important to realise that life-purpose-indecision can create a lot of confusion on behalf of the people trying to relate to you, like your friends, colleagues, bosses, etc. if you do have moments where you think you should have done or been someone else, you should just keep them to yourself rather than making everyone nervous around you with your big dreams. Expressing your innermost desires isn’t really socially accepted, despite what people who ‘love’ you might say. Instead, you should make like me and start a blog – it really works. for real yo. Living the dream. Living the dream.

a spot of tennis on Sunday

Tennis Time. Outfits are most important. We have gone for a mixture of retro Royal Tannenbaum (Rei) and silly ra-ra skirt from YDE ie. Herschel schoolgirl (me). Together we are not so cool as to be intimidating, not so uncool as to be mistaken as a couple from outside of the city bowl area.

Tennis Time. Outfits are most important. We have gone for a mixture of retro Royal Tannenbaum (Rei) and silly ra-ra skirt from YDE ie. Herschel schoolgirl (me). Together we are not so cool as to be intimidating, not so uncool as to be mistaken as a couple from outside of the city bowl area.

even though the weather was nothing like Paradise Island Saturday, we got up at 9 and munched down some oats with apple and syrup and almonds, and got ourselves off to the Gardens Lawn Tennis Club. we go there because they have a general attitude best embodied by this sign:

If one is to be authentically Capetonian, it is important to be closed to new people and things, and to uphold every small and insignificant rule in the hopes that you will offend anyone who doesnt know that this is the way. If done correctly, you need never meet anyone from outside of Cape Town - ever - nor will you find yourself having to broaden your mind or use your imagination.

If one is to be authentically Capetonian, it is important to be closed to new people and things, and to uphold every small and insignificant rule in the hopes that you will offend anyone who doesn't know that this is the way. If done correctly, you need never meet anyone from outside of Cape Town - ever - nor will you find yourself having to broaden your mind or use your imagination.

of course, Rei and I are not actually members. this is not on purpose – every time we arrive someone official-looking just buzzes us in and never asks us for money. who are we to make conversation with someone we don’t know, let alone make conversation about tennis club payments?

Life in Cape Town - pretty confusing.

Life in Cape Town - pretty confusing.

A grey day for tennis.

A grey day for tennis.

after a few games and some rallies and a lot of chilly cloudy air blowing on our sweaty hocks, we thought we’d better go home and get changed so we could go shopping. this was to be a big shop since our cupboards have been bare for quite some time. this is due to the fact that there’s a recession so the money we’d normally spend on food has been cut out of our budget, which now looks something like this:

Wallpaper Magazine ********** R5 000

Monocle Magazine************R4 000

iPhone 3G x 2****************R10 000 (we have both broken the ones we got free from Apple – hey who knew touch-screen Mario could be so addictive)

Medium broadband connection****R15 000 (South African internet prices tsk tsk)

3rd World Ambient Trauma Counselling (it’s the latest thing, helps you stop worrying about crime and getting hijacked or diseased or when Horlicks will finally become affordable here)************R20 000

Parking Retainer outside The Waiting Room on Long Street (a new thing, so we don’t have to drive around the Long Street block over and over on a Saturday night) *******R2 000

Flickr Pro Accounts*********$50 (don’t know how much that is in Rands)

So that pretty much uses up our disposable income, which is why this shop had to be good and last us at least a week or so until we can sell some art on Etsy or sell our friends taste in fashion and music out to some market research company in order to earn some extra monies.

Are you ready for Gardens Centre?

"Are you ready for Garden's Centre?"

Ready as Ill ever be!

"Ready as I'll ever be!"

Staple diet for young professionals in the creative industry.

Staple diet for young professionals in the creative industry.

Moooooooooslie! Makes those days you forgot lunch bearable. Alpen is cheap and less molasses-coated than many mueslies on the market. That is why it wins with us.

Moooooooooslie! Makes those days you forgot lunch bearable. Alpen is cheap and less molasses-coated than many mueslie's on the market. That is why it wins with us.

Coconut milk - because conditioner is too expensive these days and if theres one thing we both need, its hair shine.

Coconut milk - because conditioner is too expensive these days and if there's one thing we both need, it's hair shine.

Because the internet will soon be a luxury for us middle class folk, we are stocking up on fax paper. Email me if you want my fax number so you can send me your comments. I promise a personalised reply to each and every one.

Because the internet will soon be a luxury for us middle class folk, we are stocking up on fax paper. Email me if you want my fax number so you can send me your comments. I promise a personalised reply to each and every one.

Guavas - the it fruit at the moment. Fruit is similar to hair accessories - they go in and out from week to week. Luckily fruit also goes off. Imagine those pink extensions you got just rotted out of your hair in a week? Anyhow this week is guavas, and we are happy to embrace them. I cant figure out why a makeup brand hasnt covered certain fruits with their stickers yet. A gloss brand in particular. Juicy Tubes?

Guavas - the 'it' fruit at the moment. I can't figure out why a makeup brand hasn't covered certain fruits with their stickers yet. A gloss brand in particular. Juicy Tubes? I am wearing Elizabeth Arden Gloss in this pic in case you're wondering.

Shopping took a lot out of us, so we napped a large part of the afternoon away. Then Rei got down to making dinner while I took photos of him, and then me and him.

Chopping stuff to go in the wok.

Chopping stuff to go in the wok.

Dinner anticipation builds in the kitchen.

Dinner anticipation builds in the kitchen.

Dinner gets down to cooking. Rei is an amazing cook - this is the first phase of an elaborate pasta meal.

Dinner gets down to cooking. Rei is an amazing cook - this is the first phase of an elaborate pasta meal.

Dinner is served. Not so bad for a pair of creative young professionals in a recession.

Dinner is served. Not so bad for a pair of creative young professionals in a recession.