i recently turned down a Dream Job. the position involved flying around the world, to any and all destinations, blogging about it and creating an online jetsetter personality. insane, right? i know. i turned it down simply because i had already accepted another version of Dream Job, which is slightly less glamourous sounding, but i had accepted it, and i need to know that when i say i’m going to do something, it means i’m really gonna do it. still, declining Dream Job was very hard, and it got me thinking…
…what if i had never gone to ad school. what would i have become? would i be painting smudgey pieces by day and dressing up like a free-spirited-but-stylish-in-a-kooky-way-scenester and hitting up parties at The Waiting Room or The Assembly with my air gun? threatening my nice friends who are just there to take photos of my great sense of fashion?
or maybe i would have been a doctor, healing the sick, sewing up wounds with precision and detachment, using my vast sense of compassion to help others?
maybe i would have been a secretary working for some high powered business dude who would make me pick up his kids and buy them wholesome low GI lunches? or maybe i would be like Maggie Gyllenhaal in that movie where she gets spanked the whole time and does her filing in handcuffs? maybe i would sing to my boss in a statement-making stripey top and slap him around a bit?
maybe i would have been a model. i would have stopped eating at the age of 20, and my bones would have become weak and there would be fluff growing all over my body but i would be HOT and i would have an equally physically ailing HOT model boyfriend and we could have kept each other company in our autumn years from the age of 25 – 30, when we both finally die from fashion overdoses and ‘the pressure of having to look good’.
maybe i would have been a full time mommy, probably not married because i met the father of my kid during student night at Tiger Tiger and my mom would kick me out and i would live above a convenience store in Obz with another couple in their broom cupboard, suckling my piglet.
i think there will always be times when we wonder, “What if…?” but it’s important to realise that life-purpose-indecision can create a lot of confusion on behalf of the people trying to relate to you, like your friends, colleagues, bosses, etc. if you do have moments where you think you should have done or been someone else, you should just keep them to yourself rather than making everyone nervous around you with your big dreams. Expressing your innermost desires isn’t really socially accepted, despite what people who ‘love’ you might say. Instead, you should make like me and start a blog – it really works. for real yo. Living the dream. Living the dream.