Tag Archives: technology

Too late, I got a Mac

Hey y’ulz. Hey do y’all remember Windows? Yes, Windows. That program on the “computers” that we all used to use (v diff 2 the OS we use on our lappies today). One of Windows’s greatest features was being able to open one thing while opening another at the same time.

“Check it out, you can multitask!”

“Wow!”

Of course, that all changed when they launched Windows Vista. But back then we’d play Prince of Persia while twirling our Coke Yo-Yos and grooving to “Black or White” while wearing “peace” shirts. Anyways, found this song about Windows thought y’ulle would appreciate. Sing with me: “It’s too late, I got a Mac… too late…”

(via jasonknight06)

iPhone crashed. as did my heart.

hey y’uls. my iPhone crashed last night. so i slit my wrists and lay down in the bath, waiting to die. boyfriend found me.

BF:  “Baby! Why are you covered in food colouring?”
Me:  “My iPhone crashed. I can’t even Google how to fix it.”
BF:  “You must be overtired. I’ll Google it.”
Fiddles with his very old but very trusty Nokia.
BF:  “You just have to hold down the sleep and the home button.”
Holds down buttons.
BF:  “There. See? It’s fine now. All phones crash, baby. It happens.”
Me:  “Not to the iPhone. I don’t want this one anymore. It’s broken. It’s dirty. Want a new one.”
BF:  “Don’t be silly. It’s fine now. What were you doing when it crashed?”
Me:  “Was trying to tweet a Flickr pic from a blog post. What’s the point in having an iPhone if I can’t multitask on it? Might as well have a 3310.”
BF:  “Don’t be ridiculous. You need some sugar. Have a guava.”

And so it went.

Srsly. Has this happened to you? Do y’ulle know whether there’s a support group I can join to talk about how this has affected me? I know that there are 7 stages of dealing with an iPhone crash.

Last night I was in 1&2&3, then I skipped all the way to 7.5 (Hope) and am Hoping there is a way to skip through all of these to 5 and stay there (via being part of instant gratification generation). Don’t really want to work hard for anything that isn’t depositing $$ into my account (via pragmatism and materialism and over-inflated sense of self-worth), even if that thing was free and is coveted by all my associates / friends (iPhone).

Think this’ll probably become one of the great unifying questions of the 21st century.

Where were you when your iPhone first crashed? – Alex van Tonderator

Like, Where were you when you heard Princess Diana slept with a Muslim?


Where were you when you heard that Kung Fu Panda became the President of South Africa?

I’m here for you y’ulle. Just know that you will heal, eventually.

there’s a lot to be said for having a nemesis.

having a nemesis makes you work harder. a good nemesis should keep you up at night, while you try to outwit and outsmart them. a good nemesis should make you go to the Virgin Active every day, so you can be thinner or more buff than them. a good nemesis should keep your shoes clean, so you don’t look like shit when you appear next to them on a gameshow they’ve devised to make you look dumb.

i’m looking for a new nemesis. steve jobs had bill gates. who have i got? ppl who hate britney spears? ppl who forward around the Virgin Airlines ‘best complaint letter ever’ (for real? is it really so very funny?)? feeling rather thin on the nemesis front. sometimes i like to have a nemesis as a boss, because it makes you want to ‘prove them wrong’. but i like my boss. she believes in me. a nemesis should never believe in you. fear you, intimidate you, threaten you, maybe – but never believe in you.

that local politician who keeps singing that song about a machine gun used to be my nemesis, but he’s probably dying of AIDS, and that’s no fair. not sure why everyone’s so scared of him becoming president, because he’ll die of AIDS eventually (he doesn’t use condoms and sleeps with chicks who are HIV +).  it’s not very sporty to have a nemesis who is dying.

i guess in order to find my nemesis i should follow some sort of logical process and pick someone who stands against something i stand for. then i should decide what i stand for. i stand for: getting free stuff / buying stuff / having stuff bought for me / wearing cool stuff / listening to music on my various cool technological stuffs / reading about cool stuff / making cool stuff / running / dissing facebook.

now if i flip this and line up all the opposites, my nemesis should become immediately apparent. and my nemesis is…

stupid. clearly. who doesn’t like cool stuff? not sure that this is the most effective way of establishing a nemesis.

i’ll think about this over the weekend, and get back to y’ulle on monday. feel like whomever i choose as my nemesis will have a big impact on my personal brand.

giving Peter Pan Syndrome the (re)boot. now LOLing at the pun i made in my headline. LOL. wish i was me.

the time for me to grow up has finally arrived. see, for the past 3 years i have been freeloading off the companies i work for and relying on my oral sex skills to keep me in laptops. but now in these harsh economic times it seems that not even a blowjob can get passed under the tax table without someone asking why the new girl has the MacBook Pro Aluminium Ltd Edition Steve Jobs worx, and the sad truth is that if i want a fancy laptop i am going to have to buy one. sigh.

some people ask me, “Alex, why didn’t you buy one ages ago, you are so digital and stuff, surely you want your own super duper machine??”

it’s a good question, but i have a good answer, and that is that buying a piece of digital as meaningful and statement-making as a laptop makes me want to wet myself just so that i have something else to think about. see, the machine i buy will slot me into someone’s pigeonhole, and i have a lot of brand therapy to get through before i even start on my digital brand-made persona. for example, i am still not drinking alcohol because making a decision about what to drink and hence making a statement about who i am really is too much for me. this girl can’t cope with that right now, not before i decide on my summer sunglasses brand. and now i have been forced between a work-provided desktop PC (yes they still make them LOL) and some sort of mobile digital device that says the following about me:

- i am an innovator and not afraid to try and buy new things and i am smart enough to make the choice that is not the obvious one for everyone else but totally works for me

- i am rich and have a lot of money to throw around despite everyone suffering in these harsh economic times which means i am an anomaly and hence highly desirable as a friend / colleague / blogger / girlfriend / cool chick in ur photos / person taking photos at your self-published book launch

- i have an amazing sense of style and taste that makes anyone who sees my piece of digital feel inadequate in all that they do, including their career, who they are as a person, as a lover and of course, especially, on levels of physical attractiveness

- i have my shit together yet i am also a slightly kooky wildcard and my digital piece is alternately an object of love and peace and beauty and a devastating weapon of destruction and slicey words that will blow your mind and also make you see things differently and change your perspective on how you view yourself

- that i am a self-starting innovative go-getter who will stop at nothing to release her single / publish her book / write her blog / twitter her thoughts / upload photos of her rad life / download photos of her friends’ rad lives / shop online for her favourite brands (as of yet just a handful because i am really discerning)

Do I want a laptop that talks to me and tells me Im funny and smart? Or should by laptop automatically reply to people who write to me on facebook so i dont have to? Features are very NB when choosing a laptop.

Need laptop with auto-facebook-reply to keep in touch with my "friends".

***************************************************************************************

you see how hard this decision is? do i get a sony viaoaoaooo or whatever in pastel pink because it contradicts my strong jawline? or do i get the new macbook air because it’s completely useless in south africa and it will make people wonder how i make my money? or do i go against the laptop grain and get the most advanced blackberry known to mankind and make a big deal of blogging at the family christmas or whenever i’m in a mall? would i go to malls just to blog and start a mall-blogging trend?

Which laptop brings out the natural beauty in my eyes? Which laptop makes me appear younger and prettier than I am?

Which laptop makes me appealing to child predators?

this decision will have severe repercussions, make no mistake. i just want y’ulle to know that i’m putting a lot of thought into it and can promise that i will make the right decision when the times comes, and i might change my mind, but that will be the right decision, too.

new phrase: microglo@ting

coined by mallix and myself, it’s when people brand-drop on twitter. tech brands, car brands, tech names, blog names, personal brand references… if you name it on twitter for no real good reason apart from taking the opportunity to let twitterers know you drive a jeep / are on your 5th MacBook Air / know Kanye West personally, you’re glo@ting. ch-ch-ch-check it out:

TheHyrax i wish ppl wouldn’t stare in the traffic. what you’ve never seen a porsche b4? maybe my HOTTIE nr plate is 2 much. :( about 1 hour ago from web

thecopyninja @TheHyrax, you think that’s bad, you should see the looks I get in my MAGIC CARPET about 1 hour ago from web in reply to TheHyrax

TheHyrax @thecopyninja: its prob similar to when people catch me blogging on my LTD release iPhone 3G Jobs Worx edition. staying discreet is a job! about 1 hour ago from web in reply to thecopyninja

Dplanet @TheHyrax – did I microglo@t when I mentioned that the CD burned in my MacBook Pro is broken? about 1 hour ago from web in reply to TheHyrax

mallix everyone has a macbook. u can’t brag about it? about 1 hour ago from twitterrific

TheHyrax @Dplanet: no, Macbook is now so mainstream it doesn’t count as cool anymore. is it a Steve Jobs WORX LTD EDTN? like mine? i’m a betatester. about 1 hour ago from web in reply to Dplanet

thecopyninja @TheHyrax, is that like my SOLID GOLD -4G- iPhone? about 1 hour ago from web in reply to TheHyrax

TheHyrax @thecopyninja:i was going to get the 4G but i have hassles linking it 2 my Sidekick in SA.T-mobile hate me.good thing i earn dollars – phew! about 1 hour ago from web in reply to thecopyninja

*************XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**************************

i’m sure you get the idea. microglo@ting – you read it here first.

stickers for The Grid seen around Gardens

The Grid is the new location-based social networking application for your cellphone. if you’re not on it, go to www.onthegrid.com to check it out. i’ve been seeing these little orange stickers all around town and managed ot get a few close-ups – pretty similar to the blips (virtual notes) you can leave around town on the grid.

gridsticker1

gridsticker2

gridsticker3

found quote of the day: talking about facebook not allowed

facebook

at an article talking about facebook being valued at $15 billion. madness.

on expensive toys

pleostroke

pleobox2

i came across this review of the new cool AI dinosaur toy, the Pleo, on Notcot today. i found it rather funny because i used to own a roboraptor. it was a rad toy, but you need to control it, or it would bash around banging its head against the furniture and shrieking menacingly whenever something around it moved. i remain loyal to the roboraptor despite its innate violence and digruntled nature – it was modelled after a raptor after all. but this sounds pretty cool.

below is an old pic my roboraptor’s first christmas.

raptorxmas

raptorpresent

i’m on The Grid

so roundabout monday one of my twitter pals sends this:

“SMS the word ‘Grid’ to 33313 to get an invite’.

doesn’t sound exciting if you live under a rock, but i got pretty amped and started flapping around the office as i normally do about new technology, and everyone just ignored me, as they normally do when i do this. but truth is Vodacom’s offering to the SNS (social networking site) market is not only cool, it’s a first in that it tracks where you are in relation to your friends. here’s what they say about it (believe the site went public on Friday):

“When you use TheGRID it immediately shows your approximate position on a street map. This is done by utilising network-positioning systems that map the location of your cellphone. If you are signed-in, the profiles of your friends in your immediate area will be displayed, allowing you to share content with them in a number of different ways.
TheGRID users can leave “blogs” around the city: virtual notes to share experiences with other users, for example, a review of a meal at a restaurant. These notes may include anything from basic text messages to photos and even video clips. TheGRID will also show users which of their friends are in the area – they are then able to make contact with them through IM, and, for example, invite them to lunch.”

their official site can be found here.

i’d recommend signing up, you’ll only really get the benefit of this kind of thing if all your friends and associates are on it. you can also use it as a personal navigation system – came in quite handy for me twice this weekend. go forth and embrace the future, south africa. happy stalking.

websites that have been eating up my time.

Creativity Online is like the Daily News for anyone who works in and around the ad industry. Filled with interesting snacks of marketing related info.

Stormhoek’s just won an award for doing some innovative marketing. This is their blog, which is good reading. It’ll make you relook how you approach your product’s positioning, and rightly so. Big up to these guys and the work they’ve done with Cerebra.

Mike Stopforth’s blog is always worth checking out, especially if you’re confused by the whole web 2.0 thing (what does that really mean? etc etc). Dig around here for some easily accessible information and case studies, in normal, non-tech speak. Super cool.

There’s been talk of RCRD LBL  for a while now but it’s finally up and running. If you’re single and lame like me you’ll want to set aside a friday night – okay, a sunday afternoon – for this gem. For those genuinely interested in the music industry.

And then I’m still twittering. This program is something you’ll only get into digging once you bother to sign up and use it. But it’s making marketers all abuzz at the moment since the word ‘micro marketing’ came onto the scene.

And lastly, Superfuture is not new, but it keeps me coming back. You’ll see why.

dear sony

please make it so that i can download the songs i choose to sing on singstar. please make the songs cheap, and also please make it compatible with your PS2 console because the PS3 one is just way too expensive, plus i have already bought Nintendo Wii and i just don’t have it in me to buy another one.

thanks, Alex

rad phone

jenny just got her upgrade. it’s shiney and silver and like a compact mirror. say hello to the samsung U700. i’m not saying i’m dissatisfied with my nokia N73 but you know… it’s so pretty.

U700

a narrated foray into Second Life

so for various technical reason i haven’t been able to get stuck into Second Life yet, but last night i discovered that they are now Vista compliant, and my fancy little graphics card can finally be put to some sort of use. the sign up was fairly painless – the hardest part was deciding on a surname. they don’t have the greatest selection. eventually after umming and ah-ing over names like Dustblood and Krostwaithe, i settled on Nester. TheHyrax Nester. then i walked around a bit, just trying to orientate myself, before discovering that i could take off all my clothes and walk around starkers if i wanted to. which is exactly what i did.

naked on orientation island

 Second Life has created its own genre in advertising and branding so i’m going to be exploring it slowly for the benefit of our clients, and for my own personal education. it must be known that things like Second Life take up a lot of time, and for the moment all i’ve got time to do is walk around naked. i’m hoping to work out how to dance on one leg naked by the end of the week.