Monthly Archives: September 2008

immaculate threads by dominic wilcox

What Steve Jobs cupboard looks like.

What Steve Jobs' cupboard looks like.

Love this spread in Esquire’s 75th Anniversary edition. via NotCot. more of dominic’s work here.

existential crisis: should i send myself the Asp application?

I dont want to live on your friendslist anymore. Life has no meaning.

I don't want to live on your friendslist anymore. Life has no meaning.

so i’ve been thinking a lot about committing facebook suicide. i mean, it used to be fun, but now that i’ve been clean for so long it just feels a bit irrelevant to my life.it wasn’t always this way. i was once a junkie too, online pretty much all day, commenting on walls, sending people growing gifts. i never stooped so low as to send the What is your Stripper Name app, and i am proud to say that i was never desperate enough to add the Zombie vs Werewolves app, but i was right in there. i was poking back.

One of the worlds most devastating wars. Ever. We are still slightly crippled from the damage it caused to the world economy.

One of the world's most devastating wars. Ever. There are some who say the Poke War of 2007 is what's responsible for the present crash of the world's economy.

then, i changed jobs, and my new employer blocked facebook all day except for an hour at lunch. and not even the withdrawal pangs could keep me at my desk at lunch just to check facebook. turns out it was for the best, because once i’d had a long enough break i realised just what a shadow of myself i’d become (ok quite a pretty, airbrushed, pouting shadow, but still a shadow), slave to this glorified message board.

Look how hot I am.

Look how hot I am.

Me in Real Life Book.

Me in Real Life Book.


the thing is, so many of my friends are still hooked and very much caught up in its web. and, like some of my smoker friends who know that I’ve quit, they continue to offer me cigarettes in the form of L’il Green Patch application invites, to which i am always tempted to respond:

Dont send me apps. Srsly. If I wanted it Id already have it.

Don't send me apps. Srsly. If I wanted it I'd already have it.

The only reason I can see to keep my account open is to provide people with a place they can go to find my email address and my web addresses. maybe i should delete everything except my most basic information. but even that seems like too much effort.to me, facebook is one of those 2007 fads. the online equivalent of the palestinian scarf or the shutter shades.
I just dont want to be in a committed scarf relationship right now. But you will always be in my heart.

I just don't want to be in a committed scarf relationship right now. But you will always be in my heart.

An ancient relic. Yes people used to actually wear these. You can find fossils in Margate from the Loerie Awards back in 2008.

An ancient relic. Yes people used to actually wear these. You can find fossils in Margate from the Loerie Awards back in 2008.

i am still in a quandary about what the right thing to do is. i am worried that if i commit facebook suicide my facebook life insurance won’t pay out and i will go to facebook hell. or does facebook send its unhappy souls to facebook heaven? what is facebook heaven? is it filled with pokes and pouts? hopefully no one reading this knows the answer to that question.

need an objective opinion?

Sidetaker allows you to present your high contentious issue while complete strangers give you their opinion on what the right course of action is. great idea, except people would be biased in how they tell their stories. i’ll give it a go and see how it works out.

oh my flipping gosh: WANT

my little predator pony. **falls face first into keyboard**

Made by artist Mari Kasurenin

Made by artist Mari Kasurenin

getting in touch with my inner predator part 2: suggestions for branded christmas giveaways

not all squid are predators but when i think about squids i always think about the giant ones. therefore all squids are predators in my mind. anyway christmas is coming – bet the shops already told you – so i’ll be starting a list of ‘gift hints’ on mybrandedlife which will both have some sort of branding context and will also serve as handy reference for when you are shopping for me. if you are shopping for me. if you care. i’m adding this squid hat to my list:

Dignified. Works with skinny jeans and peep toes. Maybe a bright summar pinafore. Gives me Amy Winehouse cool with the fear of what her hair smells like.

Dignified. Works with skinny jeans and peep toes. Maybe a bright summer pinafore. Gives me Amy Winehouse cool with the fear of what her hair smells like.

also this shark hat will do really nicely:

A retro tilt will give my usually tomboy-ish style of dressing a dash of retro dandy glam. Or so my fashion school friends tell me.

A retro tilt will give my usually tomboy-ish style of dressing a dash of retro dandy glam. Or so my fashion school friends tell me.

Brands are always on the lookout for items they can put their logo on and give out at club promotions / product festivals / general giveaways. I would love to receive either of these as a branded giveaway, and I know I am not alone. Compare another branded key ring / lanyard / peak cap / t-shirt to a squid / shark hat. Logos I can imagine appearing on these fashion feats are:

–  Heineken

Savanna

–  Mini Cooper (imagine getting a squid hat free with your car purchase? I could die happy)

– Woolworths under Woolworths Sea Predators Original Label (it doesn’t exist but i am making suggestions here)

– The Young Designers Emporium Hats Originalz Line (also To Be Seen in the Future)

What if the World

Something Fishy should have loads of these in their restaurant franchises, and whenever you order the Calamari and Fries you get the Squid Hat. If you order the combo dish you get the Shark Hat because it makes you the ultimate predator.

I could be here all afternoon…

how to write a recruitment ad

A rousing finale with Mr Stabby. From Murder Burger in New Zealand.

A rousing finale with Mr Stabby. From Murder Burger in New Zealand.

connecting with my inner predator via a cake

For your Jaws. To. Masticate. Nom Nom Nom.

For your Jaws. To. Masticate. Nom Nom Nom.

i’ve always maintained that if i were a shark in captivity, i would fling myself against the glass of my tank until it cracked, or die trying. i would be vicious and predatorial, and i would eat anything they put in the tank with me. i feel that this cake captures some of that primeval desire to connect with the .02% of my genes that was once a prehistoric shark in the first waters before we all became land mammals.

want: raven coat hangers

Imagine a flock of them in a cupboard.

Imagine a flock of them in a cupboard.

found at designboom.

do i blog about the Diesel SFW XXX video?

i feel like i have an obligation to, since it’s one of those things that will be around for a while, spamming our inboxes, spawning rip-offs (even though it’s a rip-off itself), making office eyes google and teenagers all horny and flustered. it’s also a “progressive and edgy youth brand”, therefore worthy of a write-up. but i also feel like blogging about it would make me a lame horny flustered teenager / repressed cubicle worker / clueless member of general public. i think i’ll make this post a warning. Diesel SFW XXX. it’s coming.

Diesel ripping off a porn movie makes me feel like a Britney on a sidewalk.

Diesel ripping off a porn movie makes me feel like a Britney on a sidewalk.

hairy eyeball salad

Keeping an eye on your health through your eating.

Keeping an eye on your health through your eating.

this week has been MyCholesterolWeek and in the spirit of the results i present to you the hairy eyeball salad – just one of the many fascinating things you can do with raw vegetables and bad cholesterol lowering edibles. you’ll find the recipe here.

getting to grips with recent paranormal political activity – please email through any sightings or information you may have

so there’s some sTrAnGe things happening in Southafricaland. Um, basically overnight we’ve got a new president. his name is… er… hang on i have never heard of him before so i need to do some research… Kgalema Motlanthe. yes. that guy. this is what he looks like:

Kgalema Mot-Mot is on the left. The guy on the right is the politician everyone makes fun of the whole time.

Kgalema Molanthe is on the left. The guy on the right is the politician everyone makes fun of the whole time.

first things first, that’s a major mouthful of a name for a president. it doesn’t roll of the tongue the way Mandela or Mbeki does. so he needs a nickname – I’m going to Christen him unofficially as The Mothman Prophecy from now on. because he is a bit like a Mothman Prophecy – he emerged from the deep ANC forest in a way that can only be described as science-fiction / paranormal activity.

this article about him says he digs the Broederbond. FYI, this is like a secret boys club that was a big part of the Apartheid regime. The Mothman Prophecy says he thinks they knew what they were doing. that’s quite weird because i thought we didn’t want things to be like apartheid, but anyhooooo… maybe that is just part of his hotheaded youth.

he also used to be down with that whole weirdness about HIV not causing AIDS… do you think there’s any link between a country who’s ex and current president questions whether HIV causes AIDS and the fact that 1/3 of the country is dying of AIDS? just a question…it says he has changed his Mothmind.

anyway this is a really long article, and even though i am educated it’s taking a lot out of me just to find out who exactly this Mothman Prophecy is, the president of Southafricaland. so i skipped to the end of the article and it says no one has anything bad to say about him in the ANC, and that both the Mbeki peeps and the Zuma ones like him. which is cool. it sucks when no one likes the president. i felt a pang in my heart watching the ANC be mean to thabo mbeki.

Go well Thabo. You should start a new party up with Helen Zille. It can be the United Educated Front.

Hamba kahle Thabo. You should start a new party up with Helen Zille. It can be the United Educated Front.

In my youth I used to be very politically hotblooded, and I might have blogged passionately ALL IN CAPS about What This Means. in my old age though i have calmed down somewhat and am only really concerned with 2 things:

1) how am i going to explain this to all my online friends? (seriously, they won’t understand) and

2) how is this affecting my own personal brand indirectly (ie. I am a Southafricalander, how do people perceive me now)?

i won’t bother with question 1 since that is the purpose of this post, but i will address question 2. the political instability could make people think i am stressed out and unstable, like my country. they could also see me as someone who does things with little regard for other people’s feelings, like my country’s leadership party. to answer my question, i guess it doesn’t affect how people perceive me at all then. although they could also think that i am someone who voted for The Mothman Prophecy, which would remind them of that really bad movie —> just because my President is now The Mothman Prophecy does NOT mean i liked that movie. please understand that nobody voted for The Mothman Prophecy, and he was simply put in front of us like The Rib Burger at Spur and we were told to eat. which is NOT always a bad thing! I’m a person with a taste for life, ok? nom nom rib burger.

**********My Personal Message to The Mothman Prophecy a.k.a. Kgalema Motlanthe a.k.a. The President of Southafricanland****************

Yoh man! Bet last week you didn’t think you were going to be president of the whole of Southafricanland this week? Bet you just thought you’d fit in some golf if the rain let up (which it didn’t – i hear political debates are great on rainy indoor days).

i don’t have much to say but these few humble points:

– everyone’s really nervous right now because no one knows what to believe about the ANC in the media. apparently some people are saying the ANC was behind the plane that never crashed into the pentagon and that an ANC ship crashed at Area 51 back in the 60s. now whatever the truth is, please just be honest with us and don’t do anything dodgy. we’re all just trying to make a life for ourselves and everyone just wants a president we can trust.

– please make smart business decisions. i just had to renew my Flickr Pro account and $25 dollars is a lot more than it used to be. plus i have maxed out my credit card on tinned food just in case there’s a paranormal invasion so you need to help the interest rates go down in whatever way you can. i am aiming to get a new MacBook Pro in December so it would really help if you could help me pay off my credit card so i can fill it up with debt again.

– please take Southafricanland’s brand into consideration when you speak in public. we know that not everyone does this which is why Europe thinks we take showers instead of using condoms and why no one will shake Southafricanlander’s hands at customs when we are going on holiday to Disneyland in Australia.

welcome on board Sir Mothman Prophecy. I hope you like your nickname – i thought it had a regal air about it, as if you are descended from paranormal royalty. i look forward to your reign and hope you will make friends with Helen Zille as her brand is the closest one i can identify with as a young educated lady in Southafricaland. so you guys should do a Crossover Brand Collaboration and in that way you will get access to audiences you never had access to before.

some fine examples of this can be seen in Opel Corsa’s collaboration with Morgan and all sorts of brands on TV at the moment. Also look at what Phillipe Starck and Puma have done together. Adidas and Diesel are making rad jeans love. Just think what you and Helen Zille could do? Maybe a fragrance, just to get things started?

A good fragrance collaboration could boost the South African economy and restore its citizens faith in the leading party.

A good fragrance collaboration could boost the South African economy and restore its citizens faith in the leading party.

Much love and good luck with leading the country and being president and getting the kids under control again. I really do have faith in you.

**********Alex******************

moxyland book launch: the photo story

i know i’m like a million years late with this but it’s been one of the funnest things i’ve worked on to date so i want to write about it. it was for the launch of my genius friend Lauren Beukes’s first novel – Moxyland – no doubt you’ve seen the name on my site before. anyway the launch was totally atypical to a normal book launch, as we tried to bring the sci fi world of Moxyland to life in the Book Lounge cnr Roeland and Buitenkant streets in Gardens. This is how you experienced the launch if you were attending:

1. You arrive at the venue to have pamphlets shoved in your face. Looking at the pamphlets, you see it’s a protest against genetic engineering on animals, specifically the genetic enhancement of police dogs, which are called Aitos. Aitos have articificial and ruthless intelligence, and are used as crowd control in Moxyland.

Anelisa Phewa protests the plight of Sick Puppies - bio-engineered police dogs at the Moxyland book launch in Cape Town. (For full text of the flyer go to www.moxyland.com)

Anelisa Phewa protests the plight of "Sick Puppies" - bio-engineered police dogs at the Moxyland book launch in Cape Town. (For full text of the flyer go to http://www.moxyland.com)

2. You are then greeted by a Door Bitch who asks for your name and checks it against a list. If you weren’t on the list she says to you: “I’m sorry, this entrance is for corporates only, please use the civilians entrance round the side.” She directs you round the corner of the building.

Door Bitch - only nice to corporates.

Door Bitch - only nice to corporates.

3. If you are classified as “Civilian” and you have to use the entrance round the corner, you are met by an uncouth and seriously annoying guy who looks like he might slit your throat when you blink your eyes. This is because in Moxyland, the good life, a fair life, is property only of people who work for corporates. Civilians have it rough. Sorry hippies!

Stefan ruthlessly and relentlessly harasses those bolshy Non-Corporates who think they can just waltz into the event at the Moxyland book launch. He also manages to offend Andre Brink. Hi Five.

Stefan ruthlessly and relentlessly harasses those bolshy Non-Corporates who think they can just waltz into the event at the Moxyland book launch. He also manages to offend Andre Brink. Hi Five.

4. If you make it through the corporates entrance, you are greeted by 2 funkified Moxy appropriate ladies who give you a test tube and advise you to get tested downstairs, because “you might be infected”. This alludes to the highly contagious virus within the book that is activated as a means of crowd control, and a way to reign in the feisty citizens who protest to the way things are.

Lauwrisa Blaauw on Ghost stamp duty and Kristi Launders (with skull necklace) greet those Corporate guests effusively.

Lauwrisa Blaauw on Ghost stamp duty and Kristi Launders (with skull necklace) greet those Corporate guests effusively.

5. You then descend to the clinic, which is downstairs in the basement, where your specimen in the test tube gets tested. We had tubes that reacted chemically and turned green and smoked a bit, and then we had non-reactive tubes. If your tube reacted you were given an immunisation shot, which was a big friendly syringe filled with green Apple Sours.

Doctors Peter and Sam prepare to test specimens for signs of infection. Remember the Health Dept cares about you.

Doctors Peter and Sam prepare to test specimens for signs of infection. Remember the Health Dept cares about you.

6. As an opening promo, we had pieces of “evidence” lying around for guests to collect. The first to collect all 3 received a Moxy toy and book, and a drink for their efforts. Though the first person to get all the evidence was a kid, so there was no drink.

Animator Tim Wang has found evidence that something sinister is afoot in Moxyland. Hes also holding his test tube.

Animator Tim Wang has found evidence that something sinister is afoot in Moxyland. He's also holding his test tube.

The Moxy mutant toys are made by the Montagu Sew & Sews, a group of women living below the breadline in Montagu in the Klein Karoo. The toys, based on Michelle Son’s pattern for the original cover monster, are currently only available from The Book Lounge in Cape Town. R100 of the R150 retail price goes directly to the women involved. Contact +27 21-462-2425 or booklounge (at) gmail (dot) com to order.

The Moxy mutant toys are made by the Montagu Sew & Sews, a group of women living below the breadline in Montagu in the Klein Karoo. The toys, based on Michelle Son’s pattern for the original cover monster, are currently only available from The Book Lounge in Cape Town. R100 of the R150 retail price goes directly to the women involved. Contact +27 21-462-2425 or booklounge (at) gmail (dot) com to order.

7. Rob van Vuuren (Crazy Monkey, The Most Amazing Show) got into character as the CEO of the company featured in the book, and let loose an amazing speech. Most of the audience didn’t know what was going on, since the book had just launched that day, but it set the scene really well. Also Rob’s damn funny.

Maybe you thought leading biotech firm Inatec Biologicas capabilities were limited to cosmetics, the subdermal stuff that boosts collagen and cleans up free radicals? Or maybe you knew about their really quite revolutionary work with Aitos – the police dogs, using nanotech and chemical signals to micro-train them and track suspects. But this is the first time we’re breaking out the technology for human application.

"Maybe you thought leading biotech firm Inatec Biologica's capabilities were limited to cosmetics, the subdermal stuff that boosts collagen and cleans up free radicals? Or maybe you knew about their really quite revolutionary work with Aitos – the police dogs, using nanotech and chemical signals to micro-train them and track suspects. But this is the first time we’re breaking out the technology for human application."

8. And a good time was had by all! The venue was packed, and it must be made known, The Book Lounge are pioneers in their field and are far more supportive of local authors than ALL of the local publishers that I’ve dealt with.

The Book Lounge - pioneers. Cnr Roeland and Buitenkant street, Gardens, Cape Town.

The Book Lounge - pioneers. Cnr Roeland and Buitenkant street, Gardens, Cape Town.

PS. YES i was the Door Bitch. Don’t say it! Also check out the RAD poster that was done for the launch of the Moxyland Soundtrack, also by Dale Halvorsen, who designed the cover:

Poster for launch of Moxyland Soundtrack

Poster for launch of Moxyland Soundtrack

**********for all the ins and outs of the Moxyland brand click HERE**********

i’m just saying….

Zakumi: 2010 Soccer World Cup mascot

Mr Burns

where my extended family live (and i have just been)

i’m sorry

Home? Check. Buffalo roam? Check.

Home? Check. Buffalo roam? Check.

And i’m sorry to post these pictures of their view, which are one Swartberg Mountain range, currently covered with snow:

Fresh, crisp mountain air. The Baaaaa of sheep somewhere close by.

Fresh, crisp mountain air. The Baaaaa of sheep somewhere close by.

Now get back to work, before I post pictures of the white fluffy lambs that surrounded me on the other side.

self-conscious media

my boyfriend. he’s making it:

A final proof in a test prints body.

A final proof in a test print's body.

this got me thinking about things. about how we go about our days in-agency, creating stuff that sometimes gets used, but let’s face it most of it doesn’t. and where does it go? what does it do? i’ve also been reading Eckhart Tolle’s new book called A New Earth and in it he talks about how everything – even a rock – has an energy or a spirit. which makes me even a little more creeped out by the ideas we have which never come to fruition and instead lie around on scamp pads and in expensive half-filled Moleskines for ever and ever.

One of my books filled with ideas that will make me a millionaire.

One of my books filled with ideas that will "make me a millionaire". Will this happy rainbow hand sign come and poke my eyes out in the night? I'm not coping.

“Inside every double-paged spread is a billboard waiting to break free.”

I once read a book called The Raw Shark Texts about a guy who got haunted by Conceptual Sharks – which are basically forgotten ideas that have ganged up together and become quite vicious and ready to bite a chunk out of your brain. That book freaked me out as well. I had visions of that half-finished campaign about a sneaker cleaner creeping up on me at inconvenient times. Like when you burp up tequila in your monday morning status meeting. And then the realisation dawns that you weren’t drinking tequila last night and all you can remember is kissing your mom goodbye when it was still light…

So ANyways:

Check out this new fashion (also invented by my boyfriend) when you print out text brackets and stick them on your REAL face to give yourself a touch of digemo / abbbreviated text cool / to better convey what you are feeling  to young people who only understand stuff when it’s followed by an emoticion 🙂 Coming soon: (!!!) in the middle of your forehead.

At first glance this young lad appears to be slightly perturbed, but from the smiley face brackets on his glasses you can see he is actually in quote a good mood.

Digemo Doo: At first glance this young lad appears to be slightly perturbed, but from the smiley face brackets on his glasses you can see he is actually in quote a good mood.