so i’ve been thinking a lot about committing facebook suicide. i mean, it used to be fun, but now that i’ve been clean for so long it just feels a bit irrelevant to my life.it wasn’t always this way. i was once a junkie too, online pretty much all day, commenting on walls, sending people growing gifts. i never stooped so low as to send the What is your Stripper Name app, and i am proud to say that i was never desperate enough to add the Zombie vs Werewolves app, but i was right in there. i was poking back.
then, i changed jobs, and my new employer blocked facebook all day except for an hour at lunch. and not even the withdrawal pangs could keep me at my desk at lunch just to check facebook. turns out it was for the best, because once i’d had a long enough break i realised just what a shadow of myself i’d become (ok quite a pretty, airbrushed, pouting shadow, but still a shadow), slave to this glorified message board.
the thing is, so many of my friends are still hooked and very much caught up in its web. and, like some of my smoker friends who know that I’ve quit, they continue to offer me cigarettes in the form of L’il Green Patch application invites, to which i am always tempted to respond:
i am still in a quandary about what the right thing to do is. i am worried that if i commit facebook suicide my facebook life insurance won’t pay out and i will go to facebook hell. or does facebook send its unhappy souls to facebook heaven? what is facebook heaven? is it filled with pokes and pouts? hopefully no one reading this knows the answer to that question.