Daily Archives: October 15, 2008

what if…?

i recently turned down a Dream Job. the position involved flying around the world, to any and all destinations, blogging about it and creating an online jetsetter personality. insane, right? i know. i turned it down simply because i had already accepted another version of Dream Job, which is slightly less glamourous sounding, but i had accepted it, and i need to know that when i say i’m going to do something, it means i’m really gonna do it. still, declining Dream Job was very hard, and it got me thinking…

…what if i had never gone to ad school. what would i have become? would i be painting smudgey pieces by day and dressing up like a free-spirited-but-stylish-in-a-kooky-way-scenester and hitting up parties at The Waiting Room or The Assembly with my air gun? threatening my nice friends who are just there to take photos of my great sense of fashion?

Photo from We-are-awesome.com

Gun-wielding Photo from We-are-awesome.com

or maybe i would have been a doctor, healing the sick, sewing up wounds with precision and detachment, using my vast sense of compassion to help others?

The Smart But Offbeat Eccentric Chick Doctor, Always Pranking Her Colleagues But Always On Time For Heart Surgery.

I imagine my Doctor Personality to be: The Smart But Offbeat Eccentric Chick Doctor, Always Pranking Her Colleagues But Always On Time For Heart Surgery.

maybe i would have been a secretary working for some high powered business dude who would make me pick up his kids and buy them wholesome low GI lunches? or maybe i would be like Maggie Gyllenhaal in that movie where she gets spanked the whole time and does her filing in handcuffs? maybe i would sing to my boss in a statement-making stripey top and slap him around a bit?

Working 9 to 5.... working 9 to 5....Working 9 - 7...Working late again...

"Working 9 to 5.... working 9 to 5...."

maybe i would have been a model. i would have stopped eating at the age of 20, and my bones would have become weak and there would be fluff growing all over my body but i would be HOT and i would have an equally physically ailing HOT model boyfriend and we could have kept each other company in our autumn years from the age of 25 – 30, when we both finally die from fashion overdoses and ‘the pressure of having to look good’.

its the modern way.

We'd have fights about how being next to one another makes the other feel less hot. Low-cal love: it's the modern way.

maybe i would have been a full time mommy, probably not married because i met the father of my kid during student night at Tiger Tiger and my mom would kick me out and i would live above a convenience store in Obz with another couple in their broom cupboard, suckling my piglet.

You want to Rap Battle.

M.I.A. getting fertile hipsters totally amped about their potential to bloom in pregnancy. Q: How do you know you are pregnant? A: You want to Rap Battle.

i think there will always be times when we wonder, “What if…?” but it’s important to realise that life-purpose-indecision can create a lot of confusion on behalf of the people trying to relate to you, like your friends, colleagues, bosses, etc. if you do have moments where you think you should have done or been someone else, you should just keep them to yourself rather than making everyone nervous around you with your big dreams. Expressing your innermost desires isn’t really socially accepted, despite what people who ‘love’ you might say. Instead, you should make like me and start a blog – it really works. for real yo. Living the dream. Living the dream.

this shiz is cRaZy yo! (don’t taze me bro!)

phwhoar. have any of y’ulle out there heard of rapid prototyping? it’s got to be some of the most exciting technology on the planet right now. and i say this fully aware of the fact that the new MacBook Pros are out. Rapid Prototyping is a fancy way for saying “printing 3D objects”. as in, design a house, a car, a plane – anything (within a certain size, of course) – and this machine will “print” it in layers and ta-dah! your design is now real. in 3D. just like that. we have an example in the studio at the moment, that is why i’m all a fluster:

Man created man in the image of... man.

Man created man in the image of... man.

If you look closely, you can see parallel lines running down the bust. These are the layers in which it was ‘printed’ with plastic. This one was printed from the back of the head as the bottom, working up to the nose.

Rapid prototypes arent built with the ability to speak or feel emotion or interact in any way. Which means you have to reach out to them. Hopefully they will be printing fully functional feeling human beings in a few years.

Rapid prototypes aren't built with the ability to speak or feel emotion or interact in any way. Which means you have to reach out to them. Hopefully they will be printing fully functional feeling human beings in a few years.

we’ve been getting to know the technology for a campaign we’re working on. there are only 2 machines that do this in the country, and i think about as many people who know how to operate the technology. all i can think about is making stuff for my house. making shoes. making funny hats. you could make a new hat for every hour of the day. i mean, is this rad, or is this rad?

We discovered Livios loose resemblance to prototype dude. The only difference is in their noses. And now you noses.

We discovered Livio's loose resemblance to prototype dude. The only difference is in their noses. And now you noses.

save the cheerleader (from being voted president), save the world

My daughter deserrrrved to get pregnant. She done went and showed herrrr KNEES!

"My daughter deserrrrved to get pregnant. She done went and showed herrrr KNEES!"

check out this totally neat site that shows you how things would be if Sarah Palin was pregnant president. i really empathise with americans right now, since they face the same threat we do – being governed by a buffoon. i feel for you guys. yulle need to vote real hard to make sure the palin vibe doesn’t happen. same goes for yulle here. “yulle” is my unique word. it’s a mixture of ‘y’all’ and ‘julle’ (the afrikaans version of ‘y’all’). always innovating.

i’ve been a bit out of touch with groundlevel politics lately – is Jacob Zuma still singing the song that goes “Bring me my machine gun”? isn’t it time they got a new songwriter to work with him? i heard JZ got dissed by Timbaland? i heard the new Britney Spears single Womanizer is about Jacob Zuma? And about Sarah Palin? can popstars be presidents? can i vote for Danny K rather? he seems like he’d care about my medical aid.

Other Danny K policies include free advice on How to Look Jewish and How To Act Black While Retaining Your White Integrity bylaws. I could definitely benefit from the second policy.

Other Danny K policies include free advice on How to Look Jewish and How To Act Black While Retaining Your White Integrity bylaws. I could definitely benefit from the second policy.