why a ninja turtle would make a better president than He Who Shall Not Be Named

Heroes in the  half shell.

Heroes in the half shell.

Ninja turtles went to school (ninja school, but still). They completed their education, which indicates commitment and is a solid achievement in itself.

He Who Shall Not Be Named’s only commitment is to taking a shower, and his education = that of a 10 year old.

Ninja turtles fight crime. He Who Shall Not Be Named fights the forces that fight crime. Electing You Know Who into power would be like electing Shredder. Or worse, that Brain thing (Crang?), but without the brain. Just the tripod.

The Bad Guy. You dont elect bad guys, remember? No? Oh sorry, forgot, they covered that in Std 3.

The Bad Guy. You don't elect bad guys, remember? No? Oh sorry, forgot, they covered that in Std 3.

Ninja turtles have a wise master in the form of a giant rat named Splinter, whom they listen to. He Who Shall Not Be Named is too dumb to realise how dumb he is (fact: the last people to recognise incompetence are the incompetent, because they don’t know what competence is – this is backed up by studies – Google it).

How long is this namby pamby election charade going to last? Can  NPA just prosecute? And if it is going to bring all of government down, then so be it. For reals y’ulle. Sick of this shizzle. Can South Africa just make its children proud – for once – to call themselves South Africans?

*******************************************************************************

Sad Fact: When you get a Samsung phone, and then it sucks completely because it’s noisy and it freezes and it loses your data, you can just get a new phone and never have anything to do with Samsung ever again.

But when you’re born into a country who elects a complete moron to head its ruling party, you can’t do anything about it, because the whole world knows he’s a moron and blocks your passport so you can’t even leave. Sad.

At least angry/humiliated South African turtle here can hide his  face from the shame of being South African turtle.

At least angry/humiliated South African turtle here can hide his face from the shame of being South African turtle.


Advertisements

One response to “why a ninja turtle would make a better president than He Who Shall Not Be Named

  1. This post made me very sad, especially this bit “you can’t do anything about it…blocks your passport so you can’t even leave. ” On the bright side, at least Samsung isn’t the only company making cellphones. I propose everyone starts mindlessly consuming, causing a moment of false investor confidence, positive economic growth and tacky Ibiza style parties thanks to the faux bubble (not referring to the Cape Town CBD and the bubble is real, but faux because of all the fakeness – ya dig?). At least when it bursts everyone will have layers of consumer hotness and because the bank can’t foreclose on itself we’ll have a utopia despite our political situation. Happiness is expensive…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s