hey y’uls. my iPhone crashed last night. so i slit my wrists and lay down in the bath, waiting to die. boyfriend found me.
BF: “Baby! Why are you covered in food colouring?”
Me: “My iPhone crashed. I can’t even Google how to fix it.”
BF: “You must be overtired. I’ll Google it.”
Fiddles with his very old but very trusty Nokia.
BF: “You just have to hold down the sleep and the home button.”
Holds down buttons.
BF: “There. See? It’s fine now. All phones crash, baby. It happens.”
Me: “Not to the iPhone. I don’t want this one anymore. It’s broken. It’s dirty. Want a new one.”
BF: “Don’t be silly. It’s fine now. What were you doing when it crashed?”
Me: “Was trying to tweet a Flickr pic from a blog post. What’s the point in having an iPhone if I can’t multitask on it? Might as well have a 3310.”
BF: “Don’t be ridiculous. You need some sugar. Have a guava.”
And so it went.
Srsly. Has this happened to you? Do y’ulle know whether there’s a support group I can join to talk about how this has affected me? I know that there are 7 stages of dealing with an iPhone crash.
Last night I was in 1&2&3, then I skipped all the way to 7.5 (Hope) and am Hoping there is a way to skip through all of these to 5 and stay there (via being part of instant gratification generation). Don’t really want to work hard for anything that isn’t depositing $$ into my account (via pragmatism and materialism and over-inflated sense of self-worth), even if that thing was free and is coveted by all my associates / friends (iPhone).
Think this’ll probably become one of the great unifying questions of the 21st century.
Where were you when your iPhone first crashed? – Alex van Tonderator
Like, Where were you when you heard Princess Diana slept with a Muslim?
I’m here for you y’ulle. Just know that you will heal, eventually.