Cannes Lions Advertising Awards Update

Hey y’ulle. Not sure if you all heard but there is some majah advertising awards vibe going down in this place in Francey called Cannes. It’s apparently quite important for your career to win at Cannes. Word is a Cannes Lion will ‘open a lot of doors’ for you. I think it’s because carrying a Cannes Lion requires both hands (is made of calcified semen spray painted gold – the densest material on planet earth) so people will just have to help you open doors because your hands are full.


Lots of advertising people have been calling me asking ‘whether I know anything’ since I am a blogger. Have to keep turning them away empty-eared because I don’t know anything. I don’t really follow awards y’uls. Just not really my thing. Being a copywriter, I just know too much about people and life and the cycles of fortune and flavour and public attention to be able to believe the hype around awards. Also, I kind of don’t really see the point in collecting more crap you have to store on your desk / in your home. Kind of feel like displaying awards is ‘trying too hard’. Is a bit like wearing your Converse High-Tops with a dress. Just seems a l’il desperate for approval / attention. But I know I am an over-privileged brat since I have won many awards in my life for many things and came from award-winning parents and have been fortunate enough to ‘take winning for granted’, so maybe ignore me and just keep reaching for the stars and landing on the moonface5. I’ll see y’uls you on the top-rung some day. See you when you get dere. If you ever get dere.

This graph is copyrighted to Alex van Tonderwonder (c) and first appeared in her 2015 study entitled How to work in advertising without turning into a tard.

This graph is copyrighted to Alex van Tonderwonder (c) and first appeared in her 2015 study entitled "How to work in advertising without turning into a tard".

PS. Have you ever won a Canned Lion? Once watched this show on Carte Blanche about how people were bribing officials so they could pretend they actually shot the lion themselves. Sad what people will do for awardz. 😦

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One response to “Cannes Lions Advertising Awards Update

  1. Called up the judges at Cannes, made them vote for you again (best creative blog in the world etc), would hate to see it go to a low level tard

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