day before birthday terror

So this is it y’ulle. Tomorrow I’ll be 26, and I’ll have failed at one of my life’s key ambitions – to be inducted into the Creative Circle Hall of Fame before the age of 26. Which makes me feel a bit like this horse:

Ya know?

Ya know?

Was wondering how I should deal with this massive failure. I’ve never actually failed to accomplish any of my goals before. This is a new feeling for me. I know I have to ‘process the feelings’, but I’ve never processed feelings before either. Just usually suppress them with drugs / overeating / sex with strangers / getting a new job. But who will hire me now that I’m a total and utter piece of shit failure?

Just binged* ‘coping with failure’ and it says I shouldn’t blame other people for my failure. But I feel like someone has to take the rap. I blame MJ. I faked my death before he did, but then he ‘died’ the next day and took all the glory. You can even follow the posts chronologically if you don’t believe me. Screw you MJ, all the way in Australia, or wherever you are.

Celebrities get away with anything.

I died first you f*cker.

It also says I should write down ‘what I have learned from my failure’. Guess I have learned that I should have slept with more ppl in the Creative Circle. Guess I should have ‘tried harder’ at being the agency bicycle. Should have given more blowjobs on the pretence of ‘taking work in for review’. Should have called myself ‘the number 1 creative in South Africa’ before Paul Warner did. Probably should have worn more heels. Ah well, no time for regrets. F my life. I better get some nice presents.

Just another idea Michael stole.

Just another idea Michael stole.

*Bing is the new google, laggards.

One response to “day before birthday terror

  1. Happy birthday Alex…as a present here’s a lady gaga tribute:

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