Psychographic Profile: I am an intern

I am an intern,
And I take myself very seriously.
I go to an expensive advertising school,
Where they teach me to be a designer and an art director and a copywriter and a marketer and a client service person,
And when I graduate,
I will be the most amazing advertising being,
And you will all bow down to me
And my Cre8ive Recreation sneakers,
That I bought on sale
At Poppa Trunks
(which is more of a T-shirt store than a sneaker store, just FYI)

I am an intern,
And I am frustrated.
How am I supposed to show off my genius
When the internet doesn’t even work in this sh*thole agency
(oops – did I say that aloud?)
Also no one is telling me how to work the frikkin’ printer,
What do you expect me to just ‘figure it out myself’?
What kind of a show is this?

I am an intern.
I’m giving up my holiday so I can be ‘assured of a job’,
So just shut up about the rece$$ion because rece$$ions only affect mediocre people,
And I am not mediocre bro.
I am the top of my class
(why else would I be here?)
All my lecturers say I’m brilliant,
I even have ‘genius’ written across my portfolio
(Just as a joke, but I actually really mean it),
And my lecturer also says I will suit a ‘creative’ agency
More than a corporate one,
Even though my lecturer says  I am versatile enough to handle both.

I am an intern.
The senior copywriter teases me.
I frikking hate her, stupid bitch.
She thinks she is soooo smart,
Always cracking her sarcastic jokes.
I’ll show her, I’ll put her in her place.
I’ll say
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit”
even though she’s actually using irony
(my writing course wasn’t that in-depth).
I’ll just call her on it,
And she’ll know who she’s dealing with.
Bitch.

I am an intern.
Just wish I could graduate and start working already.
I’m sick of pretend,
I’m ready for the real world.
Just wanna get out there and make some ads.
Am sooooooooo frustrated,
And the frikking internet is soooo slow,
Facebook won’t frikking upload pictures.
Gonna text my friend and invite him to the bar
And pretend I ‘own this joint’,
And offer him beer as if it is my own

I am an intern
Where’s. My. Desk.

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6 responses to “Psychographic Profile: I am an intern

  1. I think you missed something. A real Intern/JustGraduatedSoIThinkI’mCool person wouldn’t care if they said sh*t, they’d actually add a few more profanities lol

    Love the profile!!

  2. Ouch.

  3. ” I’m an intern and if I paid any attention to the people working at this (or any) agency I’d realise what a fucked-up industry this is, go to the UCT website and download application forms for real courses, so I could get a valid degree and actually contribute to society instead of leeching off and exacerbating moral decay! Unfortunately I’m so far up my own arse, gorging on my megalomania that I’ll never realise this. My arrogance hides the fact that I was too stupid to get into any normal study programmes and decided to go to AAA instead where plagiarism is considered a valid outlet for creativity” There I said it, FUCK you advertising industry, I should have studied law!

  4. I am a fool. cos u know, I’m clearly in love with him. I remember everything he says everything he wears, and my eyes nervously follow him around the room whenever he moves, but he never sees me, no, instead i hide behind a wall of scorn and continue to judge him whenever he addresses me.
    I cant get enough of him. never have I felt such passion for someone who does not even remember my name. but he’s an intern! how could I feel this way! I’m such a product that I automatically judge people before I meet them, and yet this guy, this amazing love affair that exists only in my head, consumes my every thought. I just want to write about him forever.

    I’m sure someone’s written a book about this exact same thing, wait I’m a copywriter, I’ve read everything. how will i get him to love me just as I love him?

    I am a fool. I won’t, I can’t, cant even talk to him, its so difficult. I’ll just write about him, pretending I despise him, but I’ll always remember him. forever.

  5. @m3g4l0m4n1ac bless you tim, you are too cute.

  6. Whoa.

    @mybrandedlife Explains the Twitter disclaimer.

    Power to the interns… 🙂

    My disclaimer.
    Sorry Ad world – the odds were better on the underdogs.

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