Am I authentic enough?

Worried y’ulle. Posted a bunch of my Shake It ‘roids on Facebook and some cre8ive said I was ‘inauthentic’. Want 2 die. FML. What’s the point in living if I’m not ‘authentic’. Need 2 get on this ASAP. Been thinking of ways to ‘increase my levels of  authentic output’. Since Polaroid doesn’t make film any more, am considering taking the negatives of my MSWord copywriting documents to ORMS ‘to be scanned’. Heard scanning negs is quite authentic. What do y’ulle think? Should I ‘write short stories about being high with my Yashica & submit them to VICE mag’? Should I quit my job and ‘go work in Amsterdam’? Heard that’s also quite authentic, but maybe a bit faddy.* Maybe I’ll take a job in an ‘exotic country in the East’ and then just not deal with the authenticity overload and not be real enough to stick it out and ‘get over being authentic’ & come back to my ‘reality in suburban Cape Town’. Am kinda desperate 4 some cre8ive approval here so pls let me know what u think I should do before i ‘die from being inauthentic’. Peace y’ulz. Just need ur help. And affirmation. So insecure right now.

Please send any authenticity u can spare 2

Please send any authenticity u can spare 2

*Don’t know the difference between a Trend and a fad? no probs. Dr Dre will explain:

“I’m a trend, I set one every time I’m in
I go out and just come back full circle again
You a fad, that means you’re something that we already had
But once you’re gone, you don’t come back, too bad.”

– Dr Dre aka the ultimate ‘authentic cre8ive’

3 responses to “Am I authentic enough?

  1. I’m lank unauthentic as well. I’m so unauthentic I just signed up to word press simply so I could log on and leave this comment to say thanks for the heads up on Shake It. I firmly believe that this app could change the world, and if that’s not authentic then we all might as well cover ourselves in peanut butter and stand on Hout Bay pier waiting for the seagulls to finish us off.

  2. Why don’t you post a picture of someone’s cock like http://www.amillionmilesfromnormal did? With any luck that will get you an indecency warning for your blog. Now that’s authentic!

  3. Hout Bay, you say? Now THAT is authentic. Do you think they sell peanut butter there, or should I pick some up at the 24 hr Woolworths on the way out of town?

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