Look. I’ve decided to GMFST (Get My Fucking Shit Together). Have had enough sitting in the corner being ‘the agency’s quirky designer who knows online’. I’m gonna develop my niche and show my employers I know my shit. Gonna campaign for a promotion, and gonna do that by sending out mails about ‘measuring social media’ to make the older ppl in the agency shit their pants and realise how invaluable I am.
Step 1: Scour some sites for relevant articles. Maybe follow some links on twitter.
Step 2: Copy gist of article into a mail and provide a link, knowing no one will click the link and will assume I wrote the article even tho I di’int.
Step 3: Send to allstaff with Subject that makes most people in agency feel like they don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, and don’t want to know, hence will recommend me to be responsible for anything vaguely related to social media.
Step 4: Get raise.
Cha-ching bitches! (Just did a SIM-Alexa-Twitta-rater test on this approach and it gets a 9.5 score on the fuck-me-I’m-smart scale). PS. Don’t think I’m gonna sit on facebook executing the lame-ass campaign I came up with, just FYI. Best you hire an intern or something. I’m headed out of nowhereville going straight to the top of this food chain (that’s what the quiz I did on facebook says – you can quote it if you like). PPS. Now that I’m a social media hot-shot, don’t expect me to hang out with y’all ‘traditional creatives’ at Loeries any more. I’ve moved on.