I am confused. Am I a man or a woman?

Hey y’ulz. Been watching the news. App there is some chick who ran real fast now she is ‘suspected of being a man’. Makes me worry coz I can do lots of things rly efficiently which makes me worry if I am a man. What do y’ulz think? Does ‘being able 2 do something real well’ disqualify you from running in the Being A Woman Race?

Made this list of things I can do well:

I can write rly well.
I can ‘think up clever ads’ rly well.
I can ‘be witty and smart’ rly well.
I can ‘figure out html’ rly well.
I can ‘manage clients’ rly well.
I can dance.
I can jive.
I can have the time of my life.

Conclusion: I AM EFFICIENT THERE4 I AM A MAN.

Please see evidence of ‘real women’ to compare my skills with:

Clearly visible: Poon & Boobs

Clearly visible: Poon & Boobs

Clearly visible: poon & boobs

Clearly visible: poon & boobs

Clearly visible: poon & boobs

Clearly visible: poon & boobs

Conclusion 2: U ARE ONLY A WOMAN IF YOU KEEP SHOWING PPL YOU HAVE A POON AND BOOBS.


So bummed. Think my bf is gonna be real disappointed when he finds out he is dating a bro. At least I’m not famous so the media won’t ‘use my manliness as a hook story’ to sell papers. Hope the blogmunity is kind 2 me. Pls just remember that even tho I am now a man I am still the kind-hearted, sensitive blogger I always was. Now with peen.

How the penis works.

How the penis works.


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3 responses to “I am confused. Am I a man or a woman?

  1. One way surefire way to tell you’re not man? You probably don’t get paid us much as one.

  2. I say eliminate sexist, sex-based categories and have men and women competing against each other.

  3. thayabeatnikbazaar

    Alex, you are absolutely hilarious and about 1004 other great things too. How do you cope with all the genius? Wish I’d started reading this a long time ago…I could have been a different person…:)

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