Category Archives: branding

What I’ve been working on.

I’ve had a few complaints in the last week that I’m not updating enough. Well, I’ve been busy with some very important work. Like such:

Taking advantage of the first beach-friendly days of the season.

Getting out my short-shorts and working out how to use my fish-eye lens with my iPhone.

Watching my boyfriend play with his dog.

Finding the right shade of red lipstick for my complexion.

Ambushing friends’ birthday photos with peace signs.

Taking photos of friends while they are mid-sentence.

Making my friends wear this gimmicky bird-purse on their arms.


And now you know. So quit whingeing and understand that some people have to work for a living, and that we are not all living the holiday.


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Should I take out Personality Insurance?

Hey yulle. Been a little concerned lately that I am ‘slightly offensive’ to some ppl. My mom tells me I am funny and that ‘I shouldn’t change my blog for anyone’ but I’m not sold. Am pretty sure there’s a point at which I will offend the fans who LOL at my Psychographic Profiles at some time or other, and then it will just be me, writing and eating chicken wraps, thinking of ‘the good old days when ppl liked me & gave me iPhones and clicked on my links’.

Been looking at some case studies to establish best practice in Personality Insurance strategies. Found this to be pretty true:

Based on Alex’s Celebrity Study 2009 © one can pretty much conclude that ‘parading around telling people you believe in Jesus’ will allow you to get away with being a total sluttard (totally coined a new word).

One of my heroes. And the hero of most ambitious young women out there.

Miss Montag. One of my heroes. And the hero of most ambitious young women out there.

Same study also says that ‘lording around as if you own the place, when you do own the place (and own other places)’ will allow you to get away with being a sluttard.

My runner up hero. I respect her because she came from nothing and earned everything she has herself.

My runner up hero. I respect her because she came from nothing and earned everything she has herself.

Since I don’t really own anything and am more into ‘being given stuff’ I may have to go the Jesus route. What do y’uls think? Does Jesus suit my hair colour? Is it a rad scene? Does my personal brand allow for something like a ‘religious sub-brand’? Will I be cannibalizing my own brand by taking out personality insurance? What does my brand bible say about this?


Hmm. Does anyone know if Jesus is real? Maybe they can test it on Mythbusters or something. That would be a rad episode. To conclude, I drew a graph.

Some insights for your next strategic meeting.

Some insights for your next strategic meeting.

Until Mythbusters proves Jesus is real I’m just gonna sit tight on my Personality Insurance application. Have any of y’ulle got a better deal than being Christian or rich? Should I call the hippo on TV and let it ‘find me the best quote’ for Personality Insurance? Wish it wasn’t so complicated. Feels like the Personality Insurance industry is pretty stuck in the dark ages. Someone tell them to ‘get on twitter’.

ode to an old retail giant

saw this on vonbrandis’s photo stream and it brought barbie streisand alive in my mind singing that song ‘Memories’:

the OK bazaar reminds me of a simpler time:

Like that one time we stopped off in that small town
on the way to/from a holiday
We realized that towns in South Africa are not like the cities
Nobody is ‘deadline-driven’
Most people are ‘dop-system’ driven,
Hanging around on the pavements
Outside the OK Bazaars.

Long before Mr Price,
And a little before the glory-days of Game
(5 chocolates for the price of 2),
We could sit around on pavements, ‘dreaming of London’,
Buying Blush magazine, crème-soda and candied almonds
From the OK Bazaars.

You’d go there to get your new school shoes
And your pressed polyester school dress / shirt / shorts
They offered not only Tough-ees,
But also a cheaper alternative with nicer tear-drops
And thicker soles,
There, at the OK Bazaars.

Then along came Hyper-Rama
With their hey-days and their black-and-white knockouts,
Zany Charlie Chaplin vibes,
And then their hey-day would come back again,
And again,
And again.
And then there was Game,
So pink, so black,
And everybody just forgot
About the OK Bazaars.

voting special: MyBrandedVoteTM

Nandos work by Black River JHB (thanks @thecopyninja)

Nando's work by Black River JHB (thanks @thecopyninja)

Nando’s goodness (via 10and5), not forgetting this ad ripping of Julius Malema (head of the ANC Youth League, famous for using Hitler as inspiration for his personal brand).


That’s apparently done by a small agency called Stick. URL anyone? We’re still waiting for Julius Malema to ‘take militant action’ against Nando’s.  And then there’s this fantastic collection of election posters also at 10and5 (check it out, it’s hilarious) where you can see this ‘good shepherd’:

I need a hug.

"I need a hug."

and many many more, all here.


this one time (at brand camp)

We made hats and we lived the brand/

We made hats and we 'lived the brand'/

I’m going to go to brand camp
i’m going to room with my account manager
we are going to ‘break boundaries’
between creative and suits
we are going to make it about the work
we are going to live the brand (at brand camp)

we are going to catch each other
and build physical trust
that will translate into superior  advertising (Grand Clio Loerie Lion Prix)
happier volume-driven clients
and a richer boss with a better car (R8)
together
the brand will live through us (at brand camp)

going to go to brand camp
going to ‘overdo it a little’ at dinner
going to confide in my boss about how I went to therapy for cutting myself
and in the heat of the moment believe we have ‘transcended the system’
but just pretend it never happened in the morning
and sit on the opposite sides of the bus (leaving brand camp)

going to go away to brand camp
going to ‘workshop brand messaging’
and ‘redefine strategic parameters’
going to outline an ‘actionable plan’ with which to ‘penetrate the market’
going to draw a lot of diagrams on big white sheets of paper
and tear them off and stick them on the walls (at brand camp)

going to go away to brand camp
going to get flirty with someone inappropriate
and play down his marriage
so I can get a promotion, or just not get retrenched

going to go away to brand camp
going to find myself through the brand
going to live the brand
and let the brand live through me
going to discover myself at brand camp
that one time (at brand camp).

Do y’ulle know enough about me?

Been educating myself, doing night courses and reading books by Seth Godin. Am worried that my target audience ‘can’t get enough of me’. The new branding rules dictate that I should make every part of my brand available to all my consumers across all touchpoints, and once I’ve built it, ‘they will come’. Y’ulle know you can follow my every move on twitter, right? Is that not enough?

“No matter how many battles I been in and won

No matter how many magazines on my nuts

No matter how many MC’s I eat up

Ooh ooh, it’s never enough” – Eminem


Been considering adopting contemporary strategies to amplify my consumer touch-points, such as filling in ’25 random things you didn’t know about me’ and telling y’ulle to forward it on to everyone you know. Would that be enough for you? Would filling your inbox with the minutae of my minutae make you feel ‘connected and close’ to me?

Maybe I’ll randomly search Wikipedia pages and google images and then tag y’ulle in ‘Album Artwork’. Because random images with random words on them is totally the coolest, raddest most innovative innovation ever, right? And doing it will totally make us better friends / give you more ownership of my personal brand. Wish I’d thought of it first.

Or maybe I’ll answer questions using my iTunes music playlist, and then tag y’ulle in it so I get to brag about my enlightened taste in music AND talk about myself for 10 pages (if you paste the email into MSWord).

“More and more and more” – some techno band from the 90s


Should I make a facebook app that y’ulle can spam your friends with? I will call it MyBrandedCircleofTopFriendsTM©® and if you add it I’d basically own you and spam you with facts like ‘Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla’. ❤ owning stuff, is my best. ❤ vanilla.

And even if you find 25 random facts about me annoying, you can always sympathise with how desperate I am to be ‘unique’ and how desperate I am for you to see me as your higly unique and interesting friend, that I’d  FWD you an excuse to talk about myself and my enlightened musical choices that include radiohead, MGMT, crystal castles, Perfect Circle, CSS and that guitar dude from Deep Purple whose new album is called something like Professor Snatchifunkius or something.

Whatever y’ulle. You just let me know if you need more random, narcissistic info disguised as a friendship-bond-building exercise. I understand if it’s ‘never enough’. BFFs 4 eva y’ulle. 4eva is not enough.

“Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more,” – Britney Jean Spears

Just want yulle to be okay with how much you know me. Want to be there for yulle. Want us 2 engage meaningfully at all strategic touchpoints. Want my POS to be like a warm hand in the night. Want my visibility to be visible.

Just want y'ulle to be okay with how much you 'know me'. Want to be there for y'ulle. Want us 2 engage meaningfully at all strategic touchpoints. Want my POS to be like a warm hand in the night. Want my visibility to be visible.