Category Archives: cars

Now that I use Nomu products must I buy a new car?

Y’ulz been pondering something. I recently was introduced to Nomu foods, and now ‘nothing but Nomuwill do when it comes 2 ‘rubbing my chops’ prior 2 grilling. Even have the Nomu range of ‘fonds’ (bet NONE of y’all have a fond in ur kitchen – whachu a-gonna do?). Has basically “changed my life”. Can now ‘invite ppl from higher social echelons’ 2 ‘talk shop over dinner’ (always kinda felt inadequate with my Knorr pasta mixes. Like I wanted 2 die.).

Add 2 that the fact that I am recently 26 and no longer qualify in the ‘youth demographic’, am starting 2 question whether I need to ‘adapt or die’ (via evolving my brand repertoire & social echelon steadily upwards, as opposed 2 growing intermittently & possibly remaining in a social echelon doldrums & ‘living an ordinary life’ via ‘looking averagely wealthy / poor’.).

All this has led 2 the most NB question a ‘young professional who eats Nomu and is looking 2 purchase her first property & attract a mate’ must consider in her life:

“Is it time 2 trade in my car 4 a car that ‘makes me look more rich’ and in-keeping with the Appearance Description under the Psychographic segmentation for “Young Professionals”?”



I know y’ulz. Wish I didn’t have 2 ‘keep up with myself’. Wish I wasn’t so competitive. Wish I could ‘eat Nomu & drive a Yaris with clear conscience”, but I can’t. Life is so ‘filled with important decisions’ we must make that will ‘test my character’ and help me achieve my goal 2 ‘make my BFF feel inadequate’ via being better dressed / thinner than her / having a better facebook profile pic / driving a better car / owning a set of Nomu Fonds before they are officially launched.


What do y’ulz think? Is it ‘mini cooper time’? Mini cooper sport? Are Mini Cooper’s still cool or have they “aged badly”? Would y’alls ‘get offended’ if I ‘leap-frog’ my place in the ‘consumption cycle’ and just “go straight 2 a 1-series”?


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Signed the last ever Citi Bro.

Feel like I can *finally* be a part of this very NB branded coming-of-age ritual now that my name is on the last Citi Golf eva.

Can y'ulz see my message?

Thought long and hard for 7 days and 7 nights about what I should write on the very last Citi Golf ever and came up with this: (just steady yourself)

“Miss you Citi Bro xxx”

Feel like this is the face of the words that could sink a thousand ships. I mean them Citi Bro. Pity we never really got to ‘be bros’ 4 real. At least I get 2 miss u. 4 eva.

Should I sue my parents 4 not buying me a Citi Golf?

Hey y’ulz. Went for a stroll round the internet. Met the video below in a park. We chatted. I watched the video. Then the video said ‘See ya round’ and let someone else watch it. Little slut. Sorry – I didn’t rly mean that. Am just ‘feeling hurt’ that I cannot share the branded ‘rite of passage experiences that accompany driving a citigolf’ as expressed in the video by this ‘highly agreeable chickbro with nice soft boobs’.



Y’ulz, am rly rly bummed that I never had a CitiGolf, and now they’re not even making the car anymore. H8 my life. H8 my parents. Wish they’d ‘shown some tough love’ when giving me my 1st car & got me a ‘piece of plastic crap’ Citi that ‘fell apart slowly’ instead of a brand new Corsa Lite that ‘started 1st time every time all the time’. Feel ‘totally deprived’ of an authentic ‘coming of age’ experience via driving an Opel.

Fuck-my-so-called-post-teen-pre-adult-life y’als.

A memory I could have had, but NO.

Anyone else feel this way?

Another memory that could have been mine. H8 my life.

Really wish my parents ‘hadn’t trusted me for shit’ & bought me a Citi because ‘I was bound to write off my first car anyway’ (I did, but it was a Butler’s Pizza dude’s fault, not mine). Wish I never had such ‘free thinking parents’ who let my boyfriends stay over in my room instead of forcing us to ‘dry-hump on the roof of my Citi Golf’. Wish my mom hadn’t ‘slapped me on the pill as soon as I grew hips’ so I could have had an authentic ‘pregnancy scare while wrestling with the choke on my Citi Golf’. Feel like the Corsa roof is ‘too high to confuse with the bonnet’ in any case.

Fuck-my-so-called-post-teen-pre-adult-life.

Yet another important part of 'growing up' snatched from me. Want 2 die.

Another memory snatched from me. Want 2 die.

What do y’ulz think? Should I sue my parents? Should I ‘seek treatment for my past wounds’? Should I ‘let the healing start’ by making a fake video of fake memories of my Citi Golf? In so much pain right now.

there’s no ‘i’ in team; there’s no internet connection at a rugby stadium

on friday we all got chased out of the studio and told to meet at a door on the side of the Newlands Rugby Stadium. for those of you who abhorr rugby as much as myself, this was a bit like being told to meet at the Red Door in Woodstock. not that i know what the Red Door is. maybe it was Yellow Door?

above the rules.

Mallix: above the rules.

anyway, we were taken into the bowels of Newlands, and treated to a career peptalk that went something like, Work Harder, Win More Awards, Make Ideas That People Notice, Win More Awards. which got us all really inspired, so we ran out onto the field and practised our ambition lunges:

Ambition lunges are a very if not THE most important part of your workout, so be sure to factor them into your training schedule.

Ambition lunges are a very if not THE most important part of your workout, so be sure to factor them into your training schedule.

fair enough. What i enjoyed most was being exposed to what the JDR Creative Directors believe to be legendary work. all too often you get used to work getting bombed or approved, but you don’t really know what appeals to the people approving your work. Jo showed us a lot of fashion-related ideas. Ross showed us some of the old Musica work, which was simple but great. And Livio showed us this really long video about Ferrari… (No he di’nt!) Yes, he did.

Random picture of rugby stadium so you can pretend you were there.

Random picture of rugby stadium so you can pretend you were there.

once we’d been inspired, we were all tasked with brainstorming a billboard for Hyundai, along the lines of 2010 if we felt so inclined. watching a bunch of indoorsy creative types pitter-pattering-cigarette-puffering around an empty rugby stadium did bring the LOLs a bit. then, we all painted our ideas up on a giant canvas that was set up inside.

Pushed to our limits by the introduction of unconventional scamping media.

Pushed to our limits by the introduction of unconventional scamping media.

Our staid ways of conveying ideas are obliterated as we adjust to this new way of communicating with those judging our work.

Our staid ways of conveying ideas are obliterated as we adjust to this new way of communicating with those judging our work.

Jarred gets fully into it while everyone else gets into the butternut samoosas.

Jarred gets fully into it while everyone else gets into the butternut samoosas.

Good times, good times.

collaboration in print advertising

tore this out of last month’s elle. a collaboration between local designer Morgan and Opel Corsa. one of those ideas that looks great in positioning and strategy documents but then looks like a strategy document once executed. any thoughts?

crop1

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why i bought the car i bought.

a lot of people have been asking ‘why’d you buy the toyota yaris’ so i thought i’d do a bit about it.

first things first, the obvious car in that category to buy would be the renault clio. since every young professional i’ve ever known has bought into the clio vibe, i just couldn’t do it because it didn’t make me feel like a pioneer, like i had discovered a product all for myself. also, to be honest, i find their advertising seriously patronising… not sure about the clio’s stuff specifically but the megane’s pseudo-french ‘Shake your Booty’ – seriously? you really want me to buy your car so i can shake my booty? just thinking the words ‘shake your booty’ makes me cringe. no deal. as for the actual car itself – the ads created some serious barrier to access, couldn’t bring myself to test drive one. pity, coz they’re lookers, the renaults.

the peugeot 207 was tempting, although my peugeot-owner friends are never satisfied with service quality, or attention to customer complaints, or even with the quality of the car. they’re an unhappy lot, though i believe service has improved in SA of late. as sexy as the brand is, i’m not at the point where i can afford to mess around on basics like, does the car work?

next on the list is VW Polo, which are cute little cars but i find VW to be quite outdated on the whole. also every second person drives them. that, and the fact that they get stolen all the time – not really practical in South Africa. again, i’m not at the point where i want to be messing around with insurance companies who may or may not pay out.

then we have the Hyundai Getz, and while it’s a rad little car it’s still a Hyundai and i don’t want to be like the girl in the ad who keeps telling Officer Bob to take his hand out the window. i’m also not a fan of the body shape – too square and clanky. ‘clanky’ is just the word that comes to mind when i look at the Getz.

also on the list are Fiat’s offerings but their body design is also completely unappealing to me so i didn’t even go there. the Multipla nearly made me choke on my own tongue when i first saw it – awful.

a close contender was the Ford Fiesta, because of the value for money and the many happy customers i know. while i was looking for a car my friend Kate was too, and she ended up with the Fiesta, but having driven around in hers i found the Yaris to be infinitely more spacious inside. again, Yaris beats Ford when looking at something as shallow as the body. but i am shallow like that, and it was a close call.

Opel Corsa – the new shape is better than the old one, though my ex boyfriend bought a corsa and we want to move forward in life, no? also it’s a bit pricey for what you’re getting. though the car i traded in was an Opel and exceptionally reliable. don’t have much bad to say about the car except for the associations with an old life.

those were the cars i looked at. the other little mini toys cars out there are not really cars in my opinion, and a major factor that i haven’t mentioned yet is safety – i am safety obsessed, therefore the airbags and side impact beams and high mounted engine in the front all working towards keeping me in one piece while out on SA roads made me very happy with my purchase. and the Yaris is the nicest design of all the hatches out there are present in my opinion, barring the peugeot, although their headlights are looking rather beady-eyed in comparison to how the other manufacturers have put a spin on what was their trademark.

and now you know.

*Update* I also first took a liking to Toyota during the final montage of the final episode of 6 Feet Under, where everyone dies and Claire drives off in a  Toyota Prius. 6 Feet Under is one of my all time favourite shows, and that scene also got me thinking about hybrids and the feasibility of environmentally aware cars being normal and for the first time seriously considering driving one.