Category Archives: consumer collaboration

feeling stale. going to reinvent myself as some form of trendy reflux.

reflux is in y’ulle! i know because i read a book by kreative missionary visionary dion chang and the title is trend flux 2009. so get stuffing your white rolls from woolies and your burgers and your strawberry pavlova (hey, not really sure what causes reflux as have never been pregnant before, but being pregnant is another trend – set by MIA / Gwen Stefani / Nicole Richie (choose your own psychographic role model, am not phased) – so expect an increase in ‘girls 4getting to take their pill oops’ – and ‘miracle pregnancies’ – “i WAS taking my pill! i promise!” and “fuck i got so drunk last night at Assembly that i forgot to take my pill“).

I went off my pill because it gives me cramps and its not natural. I am going to go drink at Gandalfs and then have sex with my friend and then masturbate after, just to really give those sperm a chance.

"I went off my pill because it gives me cramps and it's not natural. I am going to go drink at Gandalf's and then have sex with my random, lonely-as-me guy friend, and then masturbate after, just to really give those sperm a chance."

should i get pregnant? should i go off the pill because ‘it’s unnatural‘ and it ‘makes me bloated’ and ‘it makes me moody and fills my face with pimples’, even though it’s 2k9 now and yasmin was invented 10 years ago, so we all know girls who go off the pill are doing so only because they find the risk of getting pregnant when they have sex with their boyfriends / their best friends / their classmates at AFDA a turn on.

I cant come unless theres a possibility of me getting pregnant. - M.I.A? maybe Anon.

"I can't come unless there's a possibility of me getting pregnant." - M.I.A? maybe Anon.

has the possibility of getting pregnant ever turned you on? wish i could get pregnant and then donate the baby to a good cause. not sure if there are any good causes that need healthy babies. maybe someone should start a Replacement Workforce For All Those People Who Have Died And Will Die Of AIDS just so Telkom has someone to employ to throw a cog in their generator that they can blame when we exceed our power capacity in 20 years time.

********************************************************Got a bit off topic there********************************************

Back to Reflux and other things that will be hot in 2k9 (note i didn’t get these from the trend reflux book by Dion Change, i just got them off some arb website but it doesn’t matter because all trends came from the same arb mothership website):

Being classy. “Classism is the new racism”. Does this give me license to discriminate? Just want to be ‘trendy’ y’ulle. Just want ppl to know i am better than them through my ‘social badging‘ or my ‘exclusive knowledge of how brandy is made’. Apparently knowledge about products is the new social currency. Am going to google Apple just now and learn everything there is to know about Steve Jobs so i can make my friends feel bad about themselves.

Apple was invented in 70 BC as an alternative to the slabs that Moses wrote the 10 Commodors on, but there wasnt a market until 2 000 years later.

Fact #1: Apple was invented in 70 BC as an alternative to the slabs of stone that Moses wrote the 10 Commodores on, but there wasn't a market until 2 000 years later.

the 90s. the 90s is the new 80s. this would explain all the Kurt Cobain Converse floating around my mall home. yes, i live in a mall, y’ulle. malls are like the new ‘gated communities’ or ‘security complexes’. wonder what i can steal from the 90s to incorporate into my personal brand. shortlist: having ‘i’m blue da-ba-dee da-ba-da’ as my ringtone; wearing blue lipstick and humming ‘i’m blue da-ba-dee da-ba-da’ round the office; trading my black car in for a blue one and pumping ‘i’m blue da-ba-dee da-ba-da’ from the subwoofers. which one do y’ulle think best enhances my PB?

twitter goes mainstream. uh-ohs. this means an increase in ppl twittering about how drunk they got last night / how crazy last night was / what a f*cked up time they had last night / how they 4got to take their pill last night / how they are really enjoying ‘Through the Storm’ by Lynne Spears. quick, time to evacuate twitter. tell all your trendleader / thought pioneering friends. this ship is sinking. if you are mainstream, quick, sign up for twitter while humming ‘I will go down with this ship’ by 90s star Dido.

Tweep recovering from a hangover from her night at Assembly, wondering if shes pregnant.

Tweep recovering from a hangover from her night at Assembly, wondering if she's pregnant.

big government will be cool. guess we all have Obamalove to thank for this. wish we had an Obamalove. just so y’ulle don’t think i’ve given up the cause, i’m still emailing Kanye West trying to convince him to come and be President of SouthAfricanland as his next piece of ‘high art’. not sure whether this trend applies in safricanland. especially since the ruling party keeps smacktalking its own president. sigh. I wish America would buy us and then everything would be okay. not likely in these harsh economic times.

other arb things i think will be in (note: these are my hypotheses and do not come off some arb website):

– being a trendwatcher / trend guru / trend collaborator / trend consultant / marketing consultant / web2.0 consultant / iPhone 2.0 consultant. Basically if you can’t hack it in the real world, pick any one of the titles above and start a blog and you’ll be a- for away.

suicide. just coz money doesn’t matter any more. like queen said, nothing really matters, to me.

adopting a web celeb for your brand. feeding them. treating them to VIP consumer experiences. and then watching them blog about your brand. feels good, doesn’t it? tamagotchi 2.0.

falling pregnant ‘accidentally’. because of the rise of organic, females in their mid-twenties who have not yet completed degrees or found jobs will choose this option because they think it will give them more options. outwardly, they will say they have issues putting hormones into their bodies because it is ‘unnatural’ and non-organic. time for phramaceuticals to go organic.

britney spears. like she says, all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to F-U-C-K her (track 6, Circus). Parting thought:

All i wanna do is xxxx and xxx and take your monay.

Sing with me: "All i wanna do is xxxx and xxx and take your monay."

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first idea bounty winner

i wrote about idea bounty a while back. i think i gave it an extravagant write up. best thing since sliced bread etc. well it seems they walk the talk, and have just paid up $2 500 to a planner at BBDO Paris. which makes me feel a little jealous. half of me – the half that’s been exploited for my ideas by market research companies for the past 4 years – didn’t believe they would actually pay up. but now that i see they do, i’m on top of their next brief quicker than you can say “Mow The Lawn!”

also, here’s a super cool interview with the dude who won.

See? Your good ideas can make you rich.

See? Your good ideas can make you rich.

get paid for your ideas. no, really.

there are a lot of dodgy companies around that ask ‘consumers’ to come up with ways for companies to improve their products / services. usually these companies take these ideas and present them as their own and then give you 150 bucks and a few slices of pizza for your time. not ideabounty, which allows you to submit ideas in a closed system, and if your idea is used you get paid $2 500 (yes, that is a dollar sign). i’ve signed up. i’ll be answering my first brief once i’ve finished the golfing headlines i have to write.

calling all South African T-shirt designers (yes, that means pretty much everyone)

The call to entries for the Uniqlo T-shirt Grand Prix 2009 – ‘The Olympics of T-shirt Design’ – ends 21 September 2008. which means you have just under 2 months to get your most designy design to them. i know they are very keen for South African designers to get involved so don’t have that ‘I’m just a South African therefor I won’t win’ attitude. seriously, send your stuff through. you could be big in Japan. plus, the prize money is something stupid like R200 000. for a t-shirt. for real. this could be your lucky break.

T-shirt by SA designer Rikus Ferreira

T-shirt by SA designer Rikus Ferreira

customised cigarette boxes

we have a whole bunch of unbranded cigarettes, though we can’t say why just yet. but we’ve had loads of fun getting our smoker grasses to customise them. here are some of the results:

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IG Assembly 01

so we held our first round of experimental ‘idea altruism’ talks – a lot of fancy words to describe an informal get-together where inspiring young people share their work, ideas, dreams and opinions in an environment that is non-judgemental. we held it at the office, and our first speakers were Brad Armitage – he of Vida e Caffe fame, Guiseppe Russo – owner and founder of One Small Seed magazine and Khaya Nongalaza – manager and part owner of Maphindi’s hotspot in Nyanga township. to say the least, it was inspiring, and although we weren’t sure what we were doing with the evening, it turned out really well.

here’s the flyer:

igassemblyflyer

we had a few issues – such as not having a neutral timer to keep speeches short (the idea is that everyone has 6 minutes in which to speak but we all ran hopelessly overtime). and we didn’t order enough pizza since we had a bigger turnout than we initially thought, but it was really great to see people who are so different at first appearance connect through a shared mindset, which is totally our objective. we’re hoping to have IG Assembly once a month, alternating in Joburg and Cape Town, so we’re busy planning Jozi as i write this. some pics from the evening:

grant

grant from B-Boy group Ill Rock taught us about the history of b-boys, break beats and how it’s not just dancing, but high-performance athleticism.

uno

Uno took us through his ‘My Documents’ folder – amazingly voyeuristic interest here, thoroughly enjoyed it.

guiseppe

Guiseppe Russo told us about his vision for One Small Seed in South Africa, and about how we need to set a standard and not settle for second best, just because we’re in South Africa.

brad

Brad Armitage told us how he and his partner set up coffee legend Vida e Caffe, with a dream and ever-zealous perfectionism. we can all be grateful to him for Meia de Leits. he also spoke about his new premium beer projects he’s been working on, packaged in champagne bottles. awesome.  you can buy them at Vida.

crowd

the crowd, listening.

dancing

some pre-talk dance moves went down.

paul

Paul van der Spuy spoke about some of his past projects, as well as his new venture – Speed Way Cafe, which draws inspiration from the Ace Cafe biker bar in england.

crowd2

more of the audience.

steps

chilling on the steps during a break.

CHUMI

and Chumi simply told us who she is and what inspires here.