Category Archives: internet branding

What am I down with?

Hey y’ulz. What l’il symbol shall I stick on my twavatar so ppl know what I’m down with?

As y’al know, I have a very carefully sculpted personal brand. Some might even call it a ‘work of art’. I have a dream, it looks like this:


Anyways been noticing that some of y’ulle have small l’il symbols on ur twitter avatars, & since I don’t have one I’ve been feeling like a ‘tard who missed the adoption curve bus and now has to lie in this bed of mud that I’m stuck in because I made it’. y’all ever feel like that? Kind of felt like that when everyone was hamming around in shutter shades and my sunglasses were all lame and ‘complete’. Never want that to happen again.

Hate having to overcompensate.

Hate having to overcompensate.

Decided to check out my options:

1. Can put a green filter on my avatar to show that I am ‘socially conscious & aware’ of the bad things happening ‘in the east’ and if you’re a political bro who knows that ‘liberal’ doesn’t actually mean ‘drinking a lot and having sex with ur friends’ then I am ‘down to fuck’ with you.

2. Can put a pink ribbon on my avatar to ‘show my support for breast cancer research’, probably because someone ‘close to me’ has died or suffered from the ‘scourge of the millennium’. Wouldn’t mind this but worried it will reveal that I don’t get that ‘cancer is what happens when u repress ur emotions’ & that enlightened ppl will mutter ‘go work in a soup kitchen’ under their breaths like that poster about how design is cancer.

Wish design didnt cause cancer yall.

Wish design didn't cause cancer y'all.

3. Can put a Silicone Cape twavatar but this will make me look like a ‘tard who didn’t read the part in Outliers about how pioneers don’t move in flocks’, but not rly sure anyone actually ‘read’ all of Outliers because it was a pile of crap.

Unique. Just like everybody else.

Unique. Just like everybody else.

This is not going to be an easy decision. Can someone make me a penis symbol? Might as well tell people that ‘I like the cock’, if nothing else. Feel like I should probably address basics before I get onto lofty things like politics, disease and religion. Forward me any suggestions. Peace y’ulz.

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my Big Day Out

Hey y’ulz. Had a serious reality check this am. Just kind of realised that there’s more to Cape Town than Wembley Square. Seriously – this is massive progress for me. Had my morning Vida at Green Point Vida as opposed to the usual Wembley Square, which threw me for starters. A lot of mommies with Dior glasses chumming little brats in babygap with pasteis de coco. Anyway, then made my way with my mucho Meie de Leit over to the Cape Royal hotel (which is very pleasant indeed – I could probably be quite happy there were it my official residence) where I was to drop nugget bombs of web marketing wisdom for the Huddlemind Word of Mouse course (which I did quite well – even wore a dress, showed some leg). Finished my talk and then stayed to hear Seth Rotherham talk about his rise to internet stardom via 2oceansvibe, which is a great story, btw, try corner him in the bathrooms at Caprice and make him tell it to you some day. MAKE him.  All in all this was a lot of stimulation for one morning and am nowly safely back at Wembley, ‘getting on with work’. Am considering branching out and going to Camps Bay vida tomorrow am, but that might just be too much for one week.

The man, the legend.

The man, the legend.

Id be pretty happy staying in one of these swanky bathrooms.

I'd be pretty happy staying in one of these swanky bathrooms.

Psychographic Profile: I am a Client Looking To Capitalise On Social Media

I am a client-looking-to-capitalise-on-social-media,
To be honest, I don’t know WTF I’m doing.
Went to some talk,
Where there was some chick,
Talking about ‘conversations not campaigns’,
She made some good points ,
She was quite hot,
Think I’m just gonna start a facebook group and ‘see how it goes’.

Back in Advertisings Heyday. Miss u

Back in 'Advertising's Heyday'. Miss u

I am a client-looking-to-capitalise-on-social-media ,
I just joined this site called ‘Twitter’.
Have y’all heard of it?
Not really sure what the point is,
It’s kind of like I’m talking to myself,
“Just trying to get the hang of this Twitter thing”.
I got my first follower today,
Some chick who sells Britney Spears Sex Tapes,
Guess everyone’s trying to ‘push their brand’ on Twitter,
Everyone’s an entrepreneur on the internet.

Hey There, Thanks for the follow!

Hey There, Thanks for the follow!

I am a client-looking-to-capitalise-on-social-media,
And I’m fucking sick of these little social media brats
Who come into my office with their ‘netbooks’,
And their “keynote”,
And their mobile marketing statistics,
And get their buddies to ‘tweet at me’,
And tell me ‘agencies don’t get digital’.
You know what agencies DO get? Sales.
These little social media brats know nothing about business,
About the bottom line,
Show me my ROI you little shits,
And then I’ll assign you a PO,
You little brat.
I’ve fucking built a branded empire,
And you’ve built a blog.
I’d buy and sell your blog tomorrow,
Except all you blog about is social-fucking-media.
Fuck.

Do you know who I am?

Do you know who I am?

I am a client-looking-to-capitalise-on-social-media,
But I’m not into this whole ‘logging in’ thing.
Besides facebook is blocked at my office,
Because my staff spend too much time on it
When they should be focusing on their targets.
Can’t I just pay you to do it for me?
Can’t you just start a facebook group?
Can’t I pay you to write my blog? Can’t be too much work?
Or what are these new things? ‘Fan pages’.
My son says ‘fan pages’ are the new thing.
Yes, my son keeps me up to date with this ‘social media stuff’
He’s 14, so he’s very in touch with ‘what’s cool’.
He also hates my guts so our family shrink recommended we ‘bond over his love for technology’.
Can you do my facebook page?

Sure Ill run your blog.

Sure I'll run your blog.

I am a client-looking-to-capitalise-on-social-media,
I’m sick of spending too much money on TV ads,
Only to be outdone by our competitor brands ,
Who spent double on their TV ad,
Sucks.
Just wanted be named the Sunday Times Markinor Marketer of the Year,
So decided 2 do a ‘viral campaign’,
Hired that Zany New Media Social Word of Marketing company,
They came up with this social media ‘touchpoint plan’,
But some chick reported us to twitter.
Said we were “spamming” her.
Guess we got a little overzealous with the DMs,
Just wanted to get to a million followers soooooo bad.

Watch me do this dance about our new offering.

Watch me do this dance about our new offering.

I am a client-looking-to-capitalise-on-social-media,
And I am scared.
The race is on for a best practise model,
And I have no fucking clue how to develop one.
Should have stayed in sales,
At least I got a commission,
This is just a mission,
Gonna go get lunch and stuff myself since I gave up smoking and drinking after my 1st bypass.
So scared y’all,
So scared.

Anybody out there?

Hello?


birthday love from Virgin Active

such love! from one of my favourite brands. ❤ you guys. birthday morning runs 4 eva. if any of y’ulle are runners, please join me next week for #lunchrunwednesday – going to try get back into the habit. although, let me tell you, nothing quite beats a morning run. xoxo

Cockles of heart = warmed.

Cockles of heart = warmed.


morally ethical dilemmas.

question: Is it wrong to spot a spelling error in the url of a brand’s promotional website, then register the url with the correct spelling, then hold the correct URL ransom?

********************************************************************

What is right? What is wrong? Who am I?

What is right? What is wrong? Who am I?

“All’s fair in google and advertising.” – Bill Geytes

(mwah ha ha ha ha ha)

some sage Ad-vice

shamelessly lifted from the wk guys (has apparently been around for ages):

When the client moans and sighs
Make his logo twice the size
If the client still proves refractory
Show a picture of the factory
Only in the gravest cases
Should you show the clients’ faces

and then i really quite liked their additional verses:

If the ads have gone to pot
Mention blogging quite a lot

If you want to dazzle them
Drop in terms like CRM

To make your clients think you’re sage
Give campaigns a myspace page

To make them think you’re clever chaps
Make references to Google Maps

If accused of strategic shirking
Bang on about social networking

If they still think the work is crap
You must present an iPhone app

**************************************************************

Sound familiar?

**silence**

I thought so.

***Lets take this brand into the future!***

***Let's take this brand into the future!***

The Loerie Awards 2008

wow. i have to say, i am impressed. from ramshackle seaside event to slick sunny extravaganza, The Loerie Awards finally grew into all its potential this time round. i think one’s experience of the awards depends on a number of factors, including where you’re staying, who you’re with, etc. This year we stayed slap bang in the middle of Margate in the flats about the Rondevoux Mall, which made access to shops, the beach and ceremony exceptionally easy, and thus we had a great weekend. the weather in Margate was sheer perfection – not muggy, very sunny and the water was warm and swimmable, so i managed to fit in a mini seaside holiday in the off-time. the rest of the time was spent catching up with people i haven’t seen in ages, which is a large part of what makes going so much fun. here are some of my pics, i will add a few more later. oh, and here’s the link to the saturday winners and the sunday winners.

before we left, we made a whole bunch of enlarged Jason faces. Jason works with us in client service, and in his spare time he is a paramedic and a bit of a dork. we like to make fun of the fact that he never doesnt pull a blue steel face in photos. we also like to make fun of his Safety First policy.

before we left, we made a whole bunch of enlarged Jason faces. Jason works with us in client service, and in his spare time he is a paramedic and a bit of a dork. we like to make fun of the fact that he never doesn't pull a blue steel face in photos. we also like to make fun of his 'Safety First' policy.

We even got Jason to stop freaking out long enough to embrace his faces in a totem pole formation.

We even got Jason to stop freaking out long enough to embrace his faces in a totem pole formation.

We made the Mugg & Bean waiters quite nervous.

We made the Mugg & Bean waiters quite nervous.

Digital won a whole bunch of awards on Saturday night, which made people say things like We really need to get into digital,. Hmm. Rather late than never, I guess.

Digital won a whole bunch of awards on Saturday night, which made people say things like "We really need to get into digital,". Hmm. Rather late than never, I guess.

I was really impressed by the various screens on the stage. A vast improvement from just 2 screens with a barely legible powerpoint presentation on it. This actually looked good, and you could see the work, which is what we were there for, after all.

I was really impressed by the various screens on the stage. A vast improvement from just 2 screens with a barely legible powerpoint presentation on it. This actually looked good, and you could see the work, which is what we were there for, after all.

More stage prettiness.

More stage prettiness.

Arguably the biggest awards (Television Grand Prix) went to King James for the Allan Gray ad, Beautiful. I think they deserved it.

Arguably the biggest awards (Television Grand Prix) went to King James for the Allan Gray ad, "Beautiful". I think they deserved it.

This is an action shot I managed to capture during our Friday night braai in Margate. At some point someone threw breadrolls, which resulted in a fully fledged food fight. Here we have a precious shot of the tomatoes landing on Michaels head.

This is an action shot I managed to capture during our Friday night braai in Margate. At some point someone threw breadrolls, which resulted in a fully fledged food fight. Here we have a precious shot of the tomatoes landing on Michael's head.

Me and Jean, who is now a designer at Grid.

Me and Jean, who is now a designer at Grid.

Christian, Brandt and me. Thunda.com was everywhere, capturing the memories youd rather not have.

Christian, Brandt and me. Thunda.com was everywhere, capturing the memories you'd rather not have.

Rei and Mark on the beach, where we found respite from the loud and bad house music at BackLine.

Rei and Mark on the beach, where we found respite from the loud and bad house music at BackLine.

Looking a little sunburnt, I found Jen lurking at the back of Backline.

Looking a little sunburnt, I found Jen lurking at the back of Backline.