Category Archives: LOL

That Blank Page Luv

Y’all start the track playing (below) and then sing along with the lyrics I have composed for y’alls:


Blank Page Luv

Radio Ad Killa,
MBLTM
The Advertising Dream
Hey yo writers
Come up off them keyboards
Write a lil something for the creatives
Let em know how we feelin’


Chorus:

Everytime I write an ad
Client send it back
Run off on me like cut that
Throw it like it’s not on-brand
Make me redo what I do how I do still writing in the back of the lab
I’m tryina save my ass
And everynight I gotta work late

I got That blank-page that blank-page b-blank page love
I got that blank-page that blank-page b-blank-page love

Yeah they love it when I put it on them
In the boardroom when I’m clickin my pen
I make it rhyme and they like it
They get the ad like a psychic (izzy)
Next thing we talking bout shoot dates
I’m like don’t this need more debate
But they say that they loving my flow
Finally found a creative that knows
What it’s like to pimp FMCG
So pumped they fired the old agency
Like cool, you dig it, it’s sold
Get it while its hot before idea gets cold
Mock it up and print it up nice
Use a spot UV coz them consumers dig ice


Chorus:

Everytime I write an ad
Client send it back
Run off on me like cut that
Throw it like it’s not on-brand
Make me redo what I do how I do still writing in the back of the lab

I’m tryina save the ad
And everynight I gotta work late

I got That blank-page that blank-page b-blank page love
I got that blank-page that blank-page b-blank-page love

I get a call in the middle of the night
It’s the client sayin shiz not right
The wrong logo, that shiz too small
Model looks like she ran a brick wall
Coz I’m a prankster, I ask if it can wait
Been up all night writing ads til late
Client’s angry don’t get my joke
Hit me up and flush my coke
Holla back you be starting again
New ideas gonna solve this thing
Client’s over all them other ideas
Tho they signed their name here, here and here
So I’m up and I’m pullin new page
Clicking Bic to contain this rage


Chorus:

Everytime I write an ad
Client send it back
Run off on me like cut that
Throw it like it’s not on-brand
Make me redo what I do how I do still writing in the back of the lab
I’m tryina save the ad
And everynight I gotta work late

I got That blank-page that blank-page b-blank page love
I got that blank-page that blank-page b-blank-page love

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I just wanna be awesome y’ulz.

Y’ulz, I so bad wanna be awesome.
I just want ppl 2 look at me & think “wish I was that sisbro”.
Just want ppl 2 covet my Opel Corsa that now looks like a ‘real car’ (via all cars looking like the Peugot 206)
Just want ppl 2 look at my real leather hand / manbag and think ‘wow that’s a bro who srsly knows their quality shiz, must stop buying Mr Pricebro’
Just want ppl 2 know that I buy Country Road when they finger the thick seams & say “but who BUYS this stuff?!”
So bad just wanna be awesome.



Y’ulz, I so bad just wanna be awesome.
Gonna get super tight jeans that “cre8 a camel-toe ambience” & wear them in front of my chubby sister,
See how she likes ‘getting the brains in the family’ now
Gonna move into a house with “all my best guy friends” (via being a guys’-girl / the village indie bicycle)
Gonna sleep with them all (via parental divorce-issues), even though all of them have girlfriends, some of whom are my best friends forever y’all! (via going 2 film school 2 getha)
Gonna sleep with them all and ‘be besties & climb lions head on adventures!’ with them all
So bad just wanna be awesome y’all!



Y’ulz, I am fucking desperate 2 be awesome.
Gonna make peace signs while I do cheap coke off the toilets at Assembly while taking a self-portrait profile shot 4 my blog
Gonna wear empty-lensed paedo-glasses 2 ‘invoke the nerd look’ (via looking like a tard)
Gonna wear an Indian head-dress minus feathers 2 ‘give them something 2 talk about’ (via yawning) so my head looks like a phimosis-victim (via Google it)
Gonna take a non-paying job in a crap magazine that had street-cred in 1994 (via articles on drugs via back then ppl not knowing that drinking / taking drugs / being ‘reckless with your body’ makes you ‘lose ur looks’)
So fucking desperate 2 be awesome!
Y’ulz!



Y’ulz, basically, I would do anything 2 be awesome.
Gonna housesit my bestie’s house & ‘trash the place’ (how awesome? Bro…)
Gonna ‘get pregnant’ with my b/f’s babybro & then ‘lose the baby’ on a coke binge
So I can be “hot pregnant chick” minus “all that baby admin”
Y’ulz, gonna “turn down paying design jobs” 4 “jobs that are awesome” (via getting free entrance 2 clubs where the band whose flyer I designed is playing at)
Y’ulz, I’m gonna be awesome.
Can’t wait!
Y’alls!

I’ll mock it up, show u what I got

OMG y’ulz. Think I might just binge eat KFC 2 deal with the waves of extremely positive emotion washing over me right now.

Lady Gaga +  typeface = You can read my Neutra Face



Am I authentic enough?

Worried y’ulle. Posted a bunch of my Shake It ‘roids on Facebook and some cre8ive said I was ‘inauthentic’. Want 2 die. FML. What’s the point in living if I’m not ‘authentic’. Need 2 get on this ASAP. Been thinking of ways to ‘increase my levels of  authentic output’. Since Polaroid doesn’t make film any more, am considering taking the negatives of my MSWord copywriting documents to ORMS ‘to be scanned’. Heard scanning negs is quite authentic. What do y’ulle think? Should I ‘write short stories about being high with my Yashica & submit them to VICE mag’? Should I quit my job and ‘go work in Amsterdam’? Heard that’s also quite authentic, but maybe a bit faddy.* Maybe I’ll take a job in an ‘exotic country in the East’ and then just not deal with the authenticity overload and not be real enough to stick it out and ‘get over being authentic’ & come back to my ‘reality in suburban Cape Town’. Am kinda desperate 4 some cre8ive approval here so pls let me know what u think I should do before i ‘die from being inauthentic’. Peace y’ulz. Just need ur help. And affirmation. So insecure right now.

Please send any authenticity u can spare 2 alex@mybrandedlife.com

Please send any authenticity u can spare 2 alex@mybrandedlife.com

*Don’t know the difference between a Trend and a fad? no probs. Dr Dre will explain:

“I’m a trend, I set one every time I’m in
I go out and just come back full circle again
You a fad, that means you’re something that we already had
But once you’re gone, you don’t come back, too bad.”

– Dr Dre aka the ultimate ‘authentic cre8ive’

“you don’t have to go all the way you can just kiss!!”

Got this email earlier in response to this post.

I wasn’t going to even write this but I feel like i must express how i feel and since your article caused my anger I  thought why not. You endless tirades about people who drink are just lame because you don’t drink youself. You are probably a freak and are up your own ass!!  Your latest article was worst because it made people who are nearly 30 and go out for a good time seem like there is something wrong with them. Well for FYI I love my life!!!! an am nearly 30 and can drink as much as I want. I have fun! I don’t feel bad because I have no boyfriend and I have no shame in having a little fun on the weekend, plenty of men love me and my attitude and hit on me all the time!! In case you are saving yourself to be ‘pure’. I am never with the same guy a weekend and you don’t have to go all the way you can just kiss!! It doesn’t mean you are a slut. You obviously don’t have any fun. Are you jealous. Maybe your upbringing. . I am just living my life and when the right guy comes along I will settle down just like everyone else. But until then I will have as much fun as I can. You should try it!!!


You should stop blogging and go out and have a drink and dance and yu will see that actually it’s a lot of fun. Talk to some sexy guys at the bar.  You might even meet a man who loves you and ends up marrying you!! You are just closing the doors to any FUN and opportunity for happiness. You are anti-feminist because you always pick on woman who drink. I may act a little wild but is better than your ice queen judgement. I am proud of how much I can drink, and so I should be, why should men have all the fun? Do yourself favour and put short skirt on and get motherless and you will see a whole new world open to you. You will even discover who you really are. In the meantime I will pray for you and you should pray to. Pray that Jesus doesn’t judge your soul the way you judge the beautiful souls who just want to have fun. I do understand if you do not drink because you were an alcoholic thought because both my parents were alcoholics but if not then lighten up chick!!!!!


I think I’ve been put in my place.

Warning: this video is EXTREMELY offensive

This is Tony Kaye’s tribute to Paul Arden, who wrote both ‘It’s not how good you are, it’s how good you want to be’ and ‘Whatever you think, think the opposite’ – 2 books that you’ll find on the desks of advertising creatives around the world. I’m guessing Arden has died, because why else would there be cause to make a tribute. That is very sad news. Paul Arden has inspired so many of us to be zany and kreative in our thinking to believe in ourselves and to be ‘Reckless Erica’ from ‘Whatever you think, think the opposite’.

Which is why I warn you about viewing this video. The first time I watched it, my eyes popped out of my head and hid in the pile of vomit that appeared on my lap, so hold yours close. This might truly be the most terrible video you ever have to watch. Don’t be afraid to seek help if you need it. Talk about it. Get support. You do NOT have to go through this alone.

PS. What’s with advertising people making music videos these days? Everyone seems to be doing it. Which makes me think I should be doing it too (via my basic need to belong).