Category Archives: tv

Which faded international celebrity should i humiliate (via writing them into an ad?)

Ice ice... baby? More like grown man? Middle-aged dude? "Ice-Ice Middle-Aged dude." Has a ring 2 it.

A new trend is slippy sliding round the S-Africanland advertising ideas adoption curve y’ulz. Am HUGE proud of Ogilvy CT for starting it. Y’ulz are geniuses. This trend is called:

“Humiliate a faded international celeb via writing them into an ad”.


Loves it. Can’t wait 2 humiliate my own faded international celeb. Who d’yulz thanks it should be?

Stephanie "I did meth to cope with the lameness of Full House" Tanner?

Stephanie "I did meth to cope with the lameness of Full House" Tanner?

Miyam Balik aka Blossom? She'd be gr8 in an ad 4 'how rad it is 2 be jewish' (via her degree in neuroscience, Hebrew & Jewish studies)

Think Bob Sagett would be great in a zany ad that is a montage of ppl tripping over vacuum cords advertising a new cordless vacuumer. What u think?

Which faded international celeb would y’ulz like 2 see humiliated?

***UPDATE**** Quick fact-correction here, Jupiter actually started this trend (via Louis Gosset Jnr Snr Mr bro). Sorry y’als, 4got about that. Am HUGE proud of y’ulz for  starting this trend. Y’uls are what legends R made of. Y’ulz can watch one of The First Humiliations (there were 5 involving this faded celeb – they went all out) here:


****EVEN FURTHER UPDATE****

A very good-looking and smart and amazingly awesome hot bro just informed me that ACTUALLY, Jupies didn’t invent this trend. Whomever does the advertising for Silver Sands Casino and humiliated faded Swedish ‘star’ Dolph Lundgren via writing him into their advertising invented this trend. Does anyone know what agency does Silversands? Does anyone know who the un-named genius is? Don’t worry Ogilvy / Jupies – y’alls are still early adopters for ‘copying it before the masses copy it’. Still respect / love y’all.

Pls pay me $$$ so I can get health insurance. Kinda 'spent all my cash' when I was young + stupid. Thanks y'all.

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just Mad-Manned myself.

warning: it’s quite the anti-climax.

Hmm. Thrilling.

Hmm. Thrilling.

Bet some of you are going huh? Mad Men is that really mediocre show about advertising in the 60’s that no one watched. It was filled with ‘racy mysoginism’ and references to VW’s ‘Think Small’ ads. It was written to shock us all about how women were ‘treated like fuck-toys’ and good for nothing but ‘typing up the male  copywriter’s copy’ and such shizz. That’s what it was supposed to be about. For the viewer, it was 30 minutes of a mixture between Desperate Housewives on Demerol (ie. super slow and sulky) and Law & Order (have never watched L&O but it sounds dull enough to be the father of this bastard show). Really wish they’d got Tina Fey to write it like this show, instead of some repressed copywriter who’s dad owns the holding company of the television network (WPP). Okay that last line was just a guess, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I was right. If you’re even still reading this shitty post, you can ‘MadMen Yourself’ here.

bibliotheque online TV

creepy, but it made me watch it 3 times.


i love Lucky.

listen y’ulle. there’s this cheetah, and her name is Lucky because she’s ‘lucky to be alive’ after she was found in a steel trap. the animal vets tried everything they could to save her leg – she is a cheetah after all, her legs are super important to her – but they weren’t able to, and they had to amputate one of her hind legs. now, she has just started walking again, and the nice blonde lady who has been rehabilitating Lucky takes her for long drives in her VW Golf, so that Lucky can stick her head out of the window and remember how it feels to move at the speed of the wind once more.

i actually started crying by the time i typed the last sentence.


that’s some iconic advertising, Ogilvy. i think this beats the Dunlop Staffie, and certainly shuts up that BMW Mouse. the IBM (ISM?) Elephant Bros are a stiff contender, but this is right up there.

I ❤ you, Lucky. Wherever you are.

3

A reason to marry an Axe Murderer.

Hey y’ulle. So a funny thing happened last night. I was lying and moaning and feeling sorry for myself for being all sickly, when I passed out from the stabs of pain in my stomach and had this nightmare.

In my nightmare, there was this ad on TV where there was this guy made of chocolate, and all these chicks running after him wanting to eat him. They wanted to chew his face. He lets pieces of himself flake off everywhere, like chunky brown dandruff. He even cuts off his nose and sprinkles it around like an eczema party. It was really gross. I woke up crying and nauseous. It might have been from the virus, but it might have been from the nightmare. The boyfriend had to console me and hold me close and promise me it wasn’t real.

It wasn’t, right? Please tell me it wasn’t real.

Hey this is our latest concept for your latest campaign, aimed at penetrating horny men. You know. Women cant resist chocolate. Women cant resist men who wear your product. Make so much sense.

"Hey this is our latest concept for your latest campaign, aimed at penetrating horny men. You know. Women can't resist chocolate. Women can't resist men who wear your product. Makes so much sense. Can we drink now? Just wanna party."

making the ‘trendies’.

so cherryflava wrote about the trailer park hotel opening at the Grand Daddy in Long Street and posted this fine ol’ pic of me and my bear:

Me and my boo (bear). Things are just fine now that Mama Bears left.

Me and my boo (bear). Things are just fine now that Mama Bear's left.

should i go blonde y’ulle? should i quit my job and be goldilocks full time? i could probably do Snow White and Jasmine from Aladdin too, if i don’t cut my hair as planned on Wednesday. maybe i could sign some sort of endorsement deal with various sponsors looking to add some sort of ingenue /sex fetish appeal. maybe Jessica Simpson Hair ExtensionsTM ‘n me should talk.

have any of y’ulle ever been featured on a ‘trend blog’? not sure how i feel about it. wondering if i’ve accomplished a subconscious lifetime dream. thank goodness i wasn’t featured for not wearing panties at the Assembly / for having 8 babies / for slashing toddlers at a daycare / for being ‘too real’. all of the above would suck as trends. am feeling a bit worried because now that i have been featured once, i’ve had a taste of trend fame. i want more.

i want to BE the superbowl. i want to BE the amy winehouse beehive. i want to BE the intriguing diagram that conveys how men think about nothing but sex and beer. i want to BE the ‘funniest complain letter in the world, ever’. i want to BE sneezing baby panda.

maybe i’ll just settle for blonde. life’s confusing enough as it is. speaking of confusing, have y’ulle seen the Cadbury’s Drumming Gorilla ad 2.0? it features 2 kids who move their eyebrows to the rhythm of the backing track, and presumably, the rhythm of their souls.

hmm. really makes me think. did y’ulle rush off to the bathroom right after you favourited this on your youtube to see if you could do that with your eyebrows? i can’t, in case you were wondering. did y’ulle rush out and buy (cadbury’s) chocolate right after you saw this ad? (i didn’t. only eat lindt even though i have to draw from my mortgage to pay for it, but i’d never compromise my personalbrand 4 money). maybe this ad is aimed at kids and we just don’t get it.

do you think this ad is exploiting childrens? you know how weird childrens can be – almost every children has some sort of strange nervous tick that their parents have to wean them off through expensive therapy / ritalin / mood stabilizers / beating the shit out of them / being alcoholic parents ‘to give the kid something real 2 worry about’. i’m not sure whether advertisers should be exploiting this insight into children and family dynamics. will someone report this to the ACA? the CIA? the AA? not sure what kind of help these 2 exploited young ‘uns need. maybe someone can sponsor a doll for them so they can point out where they were touched on their faces when this ad was made.

i’m also scared of what kind of repercussions this ad is going to have. what if popular clubs like The Assembly and Bassline and 88 start playing a beaty remix of this track, thereby encouraging drunk patrons to mimic these offensively naff eyebrow movements? what if squeeky balloons become the new rave whistles / glow sticks / lollipops / vuvuzelas? what if i never stop asking silly questions on my blog followed by forward-slash-separated-variables? sigh. it’s going to be a really tough one because eyebrows are a lot harder to print branding on than rave whistles / glow sticks / lollipops / vuvuzelas, and the balloon will eventually deflate and is only a ‘temporary solution’.

not sure how to finish this post. hey look. more pictures of me as goldilocks.

Just ate some hot porridge.

Just ate some hot porridge.

Bears tell great jokes.

Bears tell great jokes.