Tag Archives: advertising awards

What zany advertising thing can I sell on eBay?


Y’alls probably all heard about that zany-brain copywriter who’s selling a Gold Cannes Lion Award on eBay for $1 million. Don’t know zane-brain personally but surmising that he is doing this to ‘differentiate his personal brand’ from other copywriters via ‘getting zany on eBay’ (via being ‘sick of copychecking day-in day-out, this is bullshit! want 2 die!’)



Due my ‘volatile cre8ive ego’ am now ‘feeling threatened’ that my PB no longer ‘retains it’s zany edge’ hence have been brainstorming ‘something outrageously witty’ I can sell on eBay. Some might say I should be ‘original-zany’ and ‘think of a whole new gimmick’, but am sure y’ulz experienced ad-peeps will agree that ‘people don’t understand sumfing that is not a cliché’ (via ‘not giving a shit due 2 their baby having colic or whatevs’) therefore it would be most beneficial 2 my PB 2 ‘jump on an existing gravywagon’ (thanks all you zany writers who have gone before me, laying the foundies 4 this particular cliché).

Came up with the following things I can sell on eBay:

My art director’s son
(is child of 2 art directors – purebred MacMonkey – what a thrill)
My Cre8ive Director’s ‘Keep Calm, Carry On, It’s All Been Done Before’ poster (this is a meta-gimmick, because is a ‘zany spin’ on an existing ‘hot cre8ive item’)
My sheet of zany ‘This brief is crap’ stickers (via actually ‘being useful’)
The Client Service Dept (“like mail-order brides with extra phone-skillz!”)
That video of that Art Director tea-bagging Finance (via being uncontrollably zany while drunk)


That’s all I’ve come up with so far. Feel like the solution should be ‘a simple one that is staring me in my face’. What would y’als sell on eBay? An NB job bag? A DPS spread? The agency mascot?


new Loerie Awards location

the agency xmas party sucked a lot of my attention up this past week. didn’t even find time to comment on the Loerie Awards announcing its new venue, namely The Good Hope Centre in Cape Town. love the GHC. it’s this big, bulbous tuber of a building in the middle of the inner city Cape Town ganglands. i know it well, because i attended the Red & Yellow School of Advertising, which was right across the road. this one time, an art director’s VW Beetle got petrol-bombed, for realz. the area has that kind of eccentric charm.

Still looking for a stage gimmick for Loeries. Been thinking hard about learning a Silly Walk. Worried now that the awards are in Woodstock, a gangster might mistake my Silly Walk for a Nokia 3310 and shoot me.

Still looking for a stage gimmick for Loeries. Been thinking hard about learning a Silly Walk. Worried now that the awards are in Woodstock, a gangster might drive past and mistake my Silly Walk for a Nokia 3310 and shoot me.

bizcommunity calls the area the East City Precinct. gotta love marketers. they know how to make you feel like you’re living in New York, even though you didn’t win the Green Card Lottery because you’re a pragmatic person who doesn’t believe in luck and didn’t even enter. i also like how they acknowledge that the GHC isn’t in the best of states by stating that “The Good Hope Centre has been somewhat forgotten in Cape Town and we feel this is a perfect challenge for the Loeries.”

I like an awards show that likes a challenge.

I also like an awards show that starts an industry comment war just to get more publicity. Go Bizcommunity. Some memorable moments from the 2008 Loeries Comment War (prob gonna be in a cinema any day now with Andrew Human played by Matt Damon):

“The venue is a gravel-clad apartheid silo in the midst of one of the City’s bleakest precincts, with a comfort factor of zero and acoustics to match.” – anon

( I never noticed the gravel-cladding but now that they mention it… silly archis. you know how those archis like to ‘play and experiment with different textures and materials’ on their buildings. gotta let them make mistakes, you know. )

“Good move. Cape Town’s the place. Just make sure to lose the Margate skankiness and create some sexy, glamour. At least now I can wear some killer heels and not worry about walking up all those stairs in Margate!!” – Adbabe

(Yes. Killer heels are very important. Not so much for me to wear, but for me to contrast my Converse + Ballgown outfit against. Am glad Adbabe is sticking up for sexy, glamour. There is not enough sexy, glamour in advertising. Sometimes wish i worked in the Sexy,Glamour industry..*sigh*)

“ad babe is a fatty! true story.” ifeltadbabesfatboob

(A very meaningful comment. Makes me consider whether I’ve left the world a better place than i came into it. Makes me wonder whether I filled the world with love or not. makes me wonder what Adbabe’s boobs feel like. soft.)

Just down the road from Ogilvy…yay. From a 2 hour plane ride – to a 2 minute walk from Ogilvy. Thanks for killing the adventure.” – Boo

(A very, very legitimate point. At least the GHC is a 5 minute drive from my place of work and residence. At least I will be able to listen to a full Britney Spears track on the way there and get myself into dancey-dancey-PR-slut mode. I feel for the guys at Ogilvy. Hey anyone wanna have pre-drinks at Peddlar’s on the Bend in Constantia? That way it will take 30 minutes to get The Loeries and we can pretend we’re driving across the Eastern Cape / KZN border. Just a thought.)

****************************************************************

Better start thinking about some clever tactical medium executions. Pressures on for all the Cape Town agencies. Wonder if you can draw parallels between how many bullet holes you get in ur rental car and how many Grand Prixes you win in one night. Must be meaningful and disruptive. Must catch the consumer when they least expect it.

Better start thinking about some 'clever tactical medium executions'. Pressure's on for all the Cape Town agencies. Wonder if you can draw parallels between how many bullet holes you get in ur rental car and how many Grand Prixes you win in one night. Must be meaningful and disruptive. Must catch the cynical advertising consumer when they least expect it.

thinking about getting a tattoo. having trouble making a decision.

every few months or so i think about getting a tattoo. thinking about getting a tattoo is just about the only time i really consider what my values are as a human being. the rest of the time i operate without any values at all and make the necessary apologies on facebook when i have a moment. one design i’ve really gotten to like the idea of is a line drawing of an african lion. a line lion. i like values attached to the symbol of the lion: courage, integrity, strength, calm. i feel these are concepts i would be really happy to have on a piece of my skin.

but i have been thinking that maybe the lion is not conceptual enough and doesn’t adequately reflect my lighthearted yet deep-thinking nature enough. it doesn’t really embody the concept of ‘i am a creative creative’, you know? you know how people tattoo meaningful song lyrics onto their bodies? well maybe i should tattoo the payoff line of a brand that i find meaningful onto my body.

to produce their own fragrance. Would you buy For Man, After All or For Woman, After All Eau de Toilettes?

A very meaningful tattoo of a daft punk lyric. See bands and musicians are like brands these days. We all know that modern music makers have the same ultimate goal in mind: to produce their own fragrance. Would you buy For Man, After All or For Woman, After All Eau de Toilettes?

it would definitely tell the world that i am serious about being a copywriter for advertising. i can imagine the camera zooming in on it when i collect my Grand Pencil Eagle Lion award at Loeries. then again, maybe i should tattoo the Cannes Lion onto my arm, preferably the arm that i write with. that would indiciate a mixture of dedication as well as a recklessness you would only find in a zany writer such as myself.

Was i brave and strong and true? Did i fill the world with visual puns+logos my whole life through?

Imagine this pretty face on my body. Feel like it would do some srs things for my image. Wouldn't have to stress about winning one coz i'd always have one. forever. Can imagine reminiscing on my advertising career as an old woman, and the question i shall ask only i can answer: Was i brave and strong and true? Did i fill the world with visual puns+logos my whole life through?

So what payoff line should i get tattooed on my lower back? Or on the back of my neck? Should i get the barcode of my favourite product tattooed on the back of my neck? Did my Maserati have a barcode? It must have some sort of code somewhere. Possible payoff lines i’ve thought of so far (some real, some written by me to describe me):

umshini wam bam boogie [it means “Bring me my fake matric certificate” in one of our indigenous languages and is our ruling party’s president’s official slogan]

Alive With Possibility [this is brand South Africa’s slogan]

Please don’t squeeze the Charmin

The Real Thing

Finger Lickin’ Good (very conceptual, feel this one operates on many levels, physical, emotional, intellectual)

Because I’m Worth It

Inspired. Motivated. Evolved. (thinking of having a few spine implants that make my skin look like that of an attractive alien. original, fresh thinking, IMO.)

Everything is easier on a Mac

Sheer Living Pleasure (shows my zest for life and intolerance for anything moderately priced)

V, W, U N ME (feel like this is a conceptual take on an old classic, kinda like myself, really)

Let your fingers do the walking (smart yet sexy. I feel this one is a close contender)

Anyone have any suggestions? I really feel like this tattoo could win an award. Even if i don’t have budget for it, i must make it happen. Even if i only get the tattoo printed onto transfer and apply it for one day and i take lots of photos of it. This really does feel like a turning point in my career, y’ulle.

Dont you think there should be an award at Loeries for the Grand Prix Advertising Person? As in, the person who most upholds the brand of career that is advertising? Think i could stand a real chance there. Instead of having a Loerie as the statue it could be a human with arms outstretched like a Loerie. And it could break off, for extra authenticity.

Don't you think there should be an award at Loeries for the Grand Prix Advertising Person? As in, the person who most upholds the brand of career that is advertising? Think i could stand a real chance there. Instead of having a Loerie as the statue it could be a human with arms outstretched like a Loerie. And it could break off after an hour, just like the real ones do, for extra authenticity.