Tag Archives: advertising

Tried my best. Over 2 y’ulz.


Y’ulz, all my life
Tried so hard ‘2 be spesh’
So scared of goin’ through this life
With a ‘fake moleskine from clicks’
Decided to ‘take this shot at my future’
And try out
4 da ‘National Cre8ive Team’ (via Design Indaba Supastars)



Y’ulz, all my life
Tried so hard ‘2 be different’
Stuck lots of ‘zany images from fffffound’ on my walls
Wrote lots of ‘zany cre8ive ideas’ on my hands (2 look busy while ‘on the internet’)
Updated my fbook with ‘ambiguous truths that might be about u’
Sang along 2 MGMT / Peter Bjorn & Jbro (even tweeted some lyrics)



Y’ulz
Tried so hard 2 ‘do my cre8ive bros proud’
Smoked cigarettes ‘til my gums bleed tar’
Drank alcohol ‘til I pissed premium beer’
Did lines ‘til my antidepressants didn’t work’
Even ‘talked bout digital being da future’ late in2 the nite with my Cre8ive Director y’ulz



Y’ulz
Tried so hard 2 ‘differentiate my Personal Brand’
Even ‘wrote all over my shoes’ (via customisation)
Zaned 2 the max and ‘Wore Converse with a dress’
Even ‘slept with all my guy friends’ once (via being a slag)
So I could be ‘truly cre8ive’



Is over to y’ulz now
Can do no more (‘cept encourage y’all 2 ‘clear ur cache’ so y’alls can ‘rig my vote’)
S’all up 2 you now
My crea8ive bros
Click on this link 2 ‘show me some 5 star luvin’
Maybe my dream will ‘cum true’
And I can stop ‘chasing the Loerie’
Maybe y’ulz
Maybe. Tried my best.

*******************************************************

If y’ulz would like 2 see me representin’ on the ‘National Cre8ive Team’, please click here and rate my entry (below) with 5 Stars. Then clear your cache & do it again. Ta bros.

Y’ulz can rest assured that if i make it onto the ‘National Cre8ive Team’ I will make sure biscuits are compulsory in ALL cre8ive briefings & will insist that all Client Service ppl ‘wear a bell around their necks’ so we ‘know they are coming’.

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That Blank Page Luv

Y’all start the track playing (below) and then sing along with the lyrics I have composed for y’alls:


Blank Page Luv

Radio Ad Killa,
MBLTM
The Advertising Dream
Hey yo writers
Come up off them keyboards
Write a lil something for the creatives
Let em know how we feelin’


Chorus:

Everytime I write an ad
Client send it back
Run off on me like cut that
Throw it like it’s not on-brand
Make me redo what I do how I do still writing in the back of the lab
I’m tryina save my ass
And everynight I gotta work late

I got That blank-page that blank-page b-blank page love
I got that blank-page that blank-page b-blank-page love

Yeah they love it when I put it on them
In the boardroom when I’m clickin my pen
I make it rhyme and they like it
They get the ad like a psychic (izzy)
Next thing we talking bout shoot dates
I’m like don’t this need more debate
But they say that they loving my flow
Finally found a creative that knows
What it’s like to pimp FMCG
So pumped they fired the old agency
Like cool, you dig it, it’s sold
Get it while its hot before idea gets cold
Mock it up and print it up nice
Use a spot UV coz them consumers dig ice


Chorus:

Everytime I write an ad
Client send it back
Run off on me like cut that
Throw it like it’s not on-brand
Make me redo what I do how I do still writing in the back of the lab

I’m tryina save the ad
And everynight I gotta work late

I got That blank-page that blank-page b-blank page love
I got that blank-page that blank-page b-blank-page love

I get a call in the middle of the night
It’s the client sayin shiz not right
The wrong logo, that shiz too small
Model looks like she ran a brick wall
Coz I’m a prankster, I ask if it can wait
Been up all night writing ads til late
Client’s angry don’t get my joke
Hit me up and flush my coke
Holla back you be starting again
New ideas gonna solve this thing
Client’s over all them other ideas
Tho they signed their name here, here and here
So I’m up and I’m pullin new page
Clicking Bic to contain this rage


Chorus:

Everytime I write an ad
Client send it back
Run off on me like cut that
Throw it like it’s not on-brand
Make me redo what I do how I do still writing in the back of the lab
I’m tryina save the ad
And everynight I gotta work late

I got That blank-page that blank-page b-blank page love
I got that blank-page that blank-page b-blank-page love

My boss’s dog

His master's couch.

I know, right? Yet ANOTHER reason to get into advertising.

Should I sue my parents 4 not buying me a Citi Golf?

Hey y’ulz. Went for a stroll round the internet. Met the video below in a park. We chatted. I watched the video. Then the video said ‘See ya round’ and let someone else watch it. Little slut. Sorry – I didn’t rly mean that. Am just ‘feeling hurt’ that I cannot share the branded ‘rite of passage experiences that accompany driving a citigolf’ as expressed in the video by this ‘highly agreeable chickbro with nice soft boobs’.



Y’ulz, am rly rly bummed that I never had a CitiGolf, and now they’re not even making the car anymore. H8 my life. H8 my parents. Wish they’d ‘shown some tough love’ when giving me my 1st car & got me a ‘piece of plastic crap’ Citi that ‘fell apart slowly’ instead of a brand new Corsa Lite that ‘started 1st time every time all the time’. Feel ‘totally deprived’ of an authentic ‘coming of age’ experience via driving an Opel.

Fuck-my-so-called-post-teen-pre-adult-life y’als.

A memory I could have had, but NO.

Anyone else feel this way?

Another memory that could have been mine. H8 my life.

Really wish my parents ‘hadn’t trusted me for shit’ & bought me a Citi because ‘I was bound to write off my first car anyway’ (I did, but it was a Butler’s Pizza dude’s fault, not mine). Wish I never had such ‘free thinking parents’ who let my boyfriends stay over in my room instead of forcing us to ‘dry-hump on the roof of my Citi Golf’. Wish my mom hadn’t ‘slapped me on the pill as soon as I grew hips’ so I could have had an authentic ‘pregnancy scare while wrestling with the choke on my Citi Golf’. Feel like the Corsa roof is ‘too high to confuse with the bonnet’ in any case.

Fuck-my-so-called-post-teen-pre-adult-life.

Yet another important part of 'growing up' snatched from me. Want 2 die.

Another memory snatched from me. Want 2 die.

What do y’ulz think? Should I sue my parents? Should I ‘seek treatment for my past wounds’? Should I ‘let the healing start’ by making a fake video of fake memories of my Citi Golf? In so much pain right now.

rebranding phase 1: trying a new look

As y’all know, I’m going through a ‘rebranding’ process. So i’ll be trying out a few new look & feels, messaging, tone, etc over the next few weeks. My first experimental hypothesis is: Should I speak about people as if they are animals, and where possible, make them wear animal masks around me? This would be a strategic move on my behalf that would create a key differentiating factor between this blog & other advertising blogs. After all, ‘we are just animals anyway’. Plus animals are generally ‘genuine at heart’ and without any ‘personal agenda’ which results in their being ‘highly accessible and well-liked’ by a variety of demographics, regardless of the confusing fact that I ‘own a sewing machine yet am not LSM 9’. What y’ulz thank?

Portrait of the author as a horse.

Portrait of the copywriter as a 'horse'.

The Production dept shall be known from now on as the elephant parade.

The Production dept shall be known from now on as 'the elephant parade'.

Designer shall henceforth be referred to as Budgies, or, Budgerigars.

Designers shall henceforth be referred to as 'Budgies', or, 'Budgerigars'.

The head of production, while an elephant, is able to speak horse to get through to the copywriters.

The head of production, while an elephant, is able to 'speak horse' to get through to the copywriters.

The director of Operations is a sheep, because it is ironic, and heaven forbid there not be some form of irony in this post.

The director of Operations is a sheep, because it is ironic, and heaven forbid there not be some form of irony in this post.

kill client service, spare the art directors

Only shoot the suits.

Only shoot the suits.

Click here to play the awesome flash version of our jobs. Thanks Mkaigwa

ATL vs BTL

I am ATL. I ONLY do TV, Radio, Print & Billboards. But I won’t do any of those if there is a ‘promotional’ aspect involved. I am above ‘promotional aspects’ and all that ‘selling’ stuff. I am an artiste.

I am BTL. I do a lot of promotional work, but I’ll do anything really. My main concern is reaching consumers in a way that makes a real impact, whatever that way may be. But I’m not fussy.

I am ATL. The other day I was asked to contribute to a ‘strategic workshop’. I didn’t know WTF I was supposed to do. I mean, WTF. I make billboards? I was like, why am I here? Such a waste of my, like, time. Like, what am I supposed to do?

I am BTL. Very often, our job starts long before the work becomes a brochure, or a piece of direct marketing / design / digital. We spend a lot of time refining strategic insights so that our work is focused. It’s interesting because we are able to holistically tackle real business challenges and make work that makes a difference.

I am ATL. The other day I got a print ad brief with only 2 weeks to work on it. 2 weeks? How am I supposed to come up with genius in only 2 weeks? What are they thinking? So I had a temper tantrum until they gave me an extra week.

I am BTL. We generally have to work very fast, but that’s okay. We’re used to it. Usually I work on about 15 jobs at once, all in different stages of production. Our average deadline is about 2 days. This means we work late a lot but hey, that which doesn’t kill me will only make me smarter, right?

I am ATL. This basically means I’m at the top of the advertising food chain. I know, I know, you’d never think so since I’m so humble, right?

I am BTL. A lot of people think BTL is all the stuff ATL doesn’t want to do. Sometimes ATL bullies traffic into giving us the jobs they think is ‘beneath them’, but that’s cool, whatever. We’re used to working hard so its no sweat really. Besides we kind of feel sorry for ATL since we all know no one watches TV / reads print ads anymore? So we just try to make everyone feel okay about things.