Tag Archives: art director

i are art director

I wear Mac Hat while watchy moon landing.

I wear Mac Hat while watchy moon landing.

“Tread softly, for you tread on my dreams.”

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so you want to get into advertising?

then read this, and remember:



poem about liking a brand of camera

i is copywriter

i is love Lomo camera because

Lomo let me be visually cleative

without having to dO

tOo MuCh

me love Lomo

Next me buy fish-eye lens Lomo

even though art director boyfriends scorns it

Art Directors – they love HOLGAS

‘panoramic’

‘subtle’

but still

me, copywriter,

love Lomo.

why am i here? counting my blessings. plus a poem about being an art director

who am i? why am i here? why don’t i capitalise my ‘i”s when i am a writer? why do i even bother logging on every day? does my life have meaning? should i pay off a MacBook over 36 months or just put it on my credit card?

2 Alexs. United in a name on facebook. One disguised as a blonde, one disguised as a Mallix. Enough to make you add Jesus as a friend.

2 Alex's. United in a name on facebook. One disguised as a blonde, one disguised as a Mallix. Enough to make you add Jesus as a friend.

kidding y’ulle. it’s not all that bad. i should count my blessings:

1) My new client-service hair cut. Now I can move effortlessly through all agency divisions. Clients like me more. My boyfriend likes me more. Shop assistants are kinder to me because they think ppl who blowdry their hair have money to spend during this tough ol’ recession.

2) My facebook friends. My facebook friends are the best. They are always there when I need them. If I ever have a status crisis, they comment on it in seconds. Some even use the new ‘I like this’ button. I am blessed y’ulle.

3) My family of brands. Without them, I would be no one. My Reebok shoes keep me grounded and remind me ‘I am who I am’. My Nike Gym Sweats remind me to ‘Just do it’ instead of sleeping late. My Renault Yaris reminds me to shake my environmental booty on a daily basis. I am so blessed.

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Feeling very inspired today so am going to use my highly developed sense of empathy to ‘change my course’ and ‘become an art director’.

I am an Art Director: a poem by a copywriter

I am an Art Director

My world is visual, my eyes have visions,

I have crows feet from squinting at the colourful, spinning MacBook Sun,

The glow on my cheeks is blue,

I dream in Hi-Def LCD (hate dead pixels,they’re the worst).

I am an Art Director,

I am too lazy to brainstorm a visual brief with my copywriter.

I would rather just ‘get it out the way’,

So I can browse thru ffffound.com,

and scan in my Holga Lomo Action Sampler prints.

I am an Art Director,

I failed Matric, but nobody cares about qualifications in advertising.

Bummer, since I paid R10 million extra to get a ‘degree’:

Wish someone had told me.

I am an Art Director,

I have lots of coffee table books

That I purchased at the Exclusive Books Summer Sale.

I still have a red beanie from that time I watched The Life Aquatic

and vowed to never wear anything that wasn’t red, white or teal ever again (it was just a phase).

I am an Art Director,

My fingers move over my mac keyboard like a DJ.

I am a visual DJ. But not a V-Jay. Or a vaJayJay. God is a DJ. I am a visual God.

My favourite author is Hunter S. Thomson.

The only author I have ever read is Hunter S. Thomson, even though that one writer chick I went out with wouldn’t shut up about Charles Bukowski.

I am an Art Director,

I designed my own tattoo, which is why it looks like shit.

I designed my girlfriend’s tattoo, too.

We both pretend it doesn’t look like shit.

If you like we can meet at Vida and brainstorm a logo for an electro label.

Add me on facebook.

I’ll make you look hot.

Nice grade.

Bro.

An art director has breakfast.

An art director has breakfast.

An art directors lounge.

An art director's lounge.

An art directors house.

An art director's house (they get paid waaay less than copywriters).

Female art directors make nests in which to give birth to their young art directors.

Female art directors make nests in which to give birth to their young art directors.

An art directors hat.

An art director's hat.

A young art director with its mother.

A young art director with its mother.

An art director filing its tax returns.

An art director filing its tax returns.

sent around the office yesterday

On 10/1/08 6:06 PM, “” <someone@myworkplace> wrote:

Hi Guys,

I am desperately looking for the poem by William Shakespeare – I think it’s ” how do I love thee/you” and he compares this woman to the stars and the moon kinda thing.

We did it in high school.

Please help – if you have it or have the title so I can google it or something…

****************************************************************************

Shakespeare by Burberry as seen in heat magazine.

Shakespeare by Burberry as seen in heat magazine.

*******************************************************************************

i think one of the sadder truths about marketing is that it attracts people who would otherwise not study anything because it seems easy. don’t get me wrong – it IS easy – but only to the same kind of person who’d find doing a crossword easy. my message to all you cool kids out there who are too cool for class and just want school to hurry up so you can ‘get into advertising’ would be:

STAY IN SCHOOL

DON’T DO DRUGS

DON’T SEND MAILS TO ALLSTAFF

SMILE A LOT

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Some kids think their lives will begin once they get a job in a cool agency that wins awards and they get to ‘do cool work on cool brands’. i have news for those kids. the work might look cool, but the doing of it involves a lot of thinking and refining and arguing and crafting and disagreeing and substantiating and rationalising and post-rationalising and researching and bending over quietly (to pick up the pencils you keep dropping). if that is what your daydreams of being a dezigner or art Director look like, then you won’t need to die to get to heaven. you just need a shit-hot porti.