"All the boys and all the girls want to If You Seek Amy."
because deep down inside, every woman wishes she was Sandy, and every guy wishes he was the character that John Travolta played. Danny? deep stuff. consumer insight 101. makes me want to reconsider what strategy means to me. sometimes i think strategy – a process put in place to safeguard a brand’s image – can inflict some sort of body dysmorphia on the brand it’s supposed to be working for.
i’ll bet the vodacom meerkat was right on strategy, even though it destroyed a nation’s hopes and dreams, stole our collective democratic innocence and obliterated our basic understanding of what separates right from wrong. sometimes i think we should do a little less thinking and building of complicated charts and do a little more feeling. a little more basic observations. a little more ‘duh’.
How to tell if you’re in control of strategy ie. strategy is not in control of you:
Place the word ‘duh’ behind your observations / positioning statements / SWAT analyses / consumer promise. if the sentence makes sense, then you’re in control of strategy, not the other way round. for example:
Statement 1: Everyone wants to be Sandy and Danny in Grease. Duh. Brilliant. Makes complete sense.
Statement 2: Consumers do not know what they need until you tell them they need it to assauge their lack of brand alignment with target focus of the specified demographic that the product fulfills like no other. Duh. Makes no sense at all.
You could hide the lack of sense making in a strategic diagram or chart. This is a dark art. Does anyone know who the hippest strat chart producer is at the moment? Success of your chart depends very much on whether your powerpoint producer is flavour of the month. my advice to you would be to insist on working with ‘the Timbaland of .ppt’ and accept no less. there is no point in compromising when it comes to charts. you’ve got to ask yourself whether you want to play in the big leagues or not.
Does this make you feel alive? Blame it on the boogie.
CiBiPi - i think i've found the name for my new electro label.
My brain is round and swirly like a shell. I am smart, you should do everything i tell you to do.
I have used a lot of green because i love animals.
This last chart contains the secrets to the universe. Don't show Sylar.
wow. totally got distracted by some riveting charts. i was thinking of blowing a few of these up to A2 and getting them block mounted in my house. anyway, well done to whomever made the decisions on Summer Loving. that police lady shaking her boobies was the best thing to happen to my TV since i stopped watching TV way back in the late nineties.
Posted in advertising, branding, cellular, cool stuff i like, insight, tv
Tagged brand, brand charts, cellular, FCB, grease, guide to great, if you seek amy, john travolta, mybrandedlife, olivia newton john, police woman, powerpoint charts, powerpoint producer, south african advertising, strategy, summer loving, summer nights, television, timbaland, vodacom ad, vodacom meerkat
the time for me to grow up has finally arrived. see, for the past 3 years i have been freeloading off the companies i work for and relying on my oral sex skills to keep me in laptops. but now in these harsh economic times it seems that not even a blowjob can get passed under the tax table without someone asking why the new girl has the MacBook Pro Aluminium Ltd Edition Steve Jobs worx, and the sad truth is that if i want a fancy laptop i am going to have to buy one. sigh.
some people ask me, “Alex, why didn’t you buy one ages ago, you are so digital and stuff, surely you want your own super duper machine??”
it’s a good question, but i have a good answer, and that is that buying a piece of digital as meaningful and statement-making as a laptop makes me want to wet myself just so that i have something else to think about. see, the machine i buy will slot me into someone’s pigeonhole, and i have a lot of brand therapy to get through before i even start on my digital brand-made persona. for example, i am still not drinking alcohol because making a decision about what to drink and hence making a statement about who i am really is too much for me. this girl can’t cope with that right now, not before i decide on my summer sunglasses brand. and now i have been forced between a work-provided desktop PC (yes they still make them LOL) and some sort of mobile digital device that says the following about me:
– i am an innovator and not afraid to try and buy new things and i am smart enough to make the choice that is not the obvious one for everyone else but totally works for me
– i am rich and have a lot of money to throw around despite everyone suffering in these harsh economic times which means i am an anomaly and hence highly desirable as a friend / colleague / blogger / girlfriend / cool chick in ur photos / person taking photos at your self-published book launch
– i have an amazing sense of style and taste that makes anyone who sees my piece of digital feel inadequate in all that they do, including their career, who they are as a person, as a lover and of course, especially, on levels of physical attractiveness
– i have my shit together yet i am also a slightly kooky wildcard and my digital piece is alternately an object of love and peace and beauty and a devastating weapon of destruction and slicey words that will blow your mind and also make you see things differently and change your perspective on how you view yourself
– that i am a self-starting innovative go-getter who will stop at nothing to release her single / publish her book / write her blog / twitter her thoughts / upload photos of her rad life / download photos of her friends’ rad lives / shop online for her favourite brands (as of yet just a handful because i am really discerning)
Need laptop with auto-facebook-reply to keep in touch with my "friends".
you see how hard this decision is? do i get a sony viaoaoaooo or whatever in pastel pink because it contradicts my strong jawline? or do i get the new macbook air because it’s completely useless in south africa and it will make people wonder how i make my money? or do i go against the laptop grain and get the most advanced blackberry known to mankind and make a big deal of blogging at the family christmas or whenever i’m in a mall? would i go to malls just to blog and start a mall-blogging trend?
Which laptop makes me appealing to child predators?
this decision will have severe repercussions, make no mistake. i just want y’ulle to know that i’m putting a lot of thought into it and can promise that i will make the right decision when the times comes, and i might change my mind, but that will be the right decision, too.
Posted in branding, cool products, free stuff, mobile, my real life, online, personal branding, purchase process, retail, technology
Tagged apple, better, blogger, brand, cake, chick, choice, choosing, consumer, decision, digital, free computer, girls, hot, judged, laptop, MAC, macbook pro, make people feel inadequate, mybrandedlife, oral sex, pc, pigeon-holed, process, south africa, technology, which, which laptop to buy, young dolls
why, you sit in their stores and refuse to move until they do, just like this guy did.
South Africa's Most Loved Brand.
We can be friends if you buy me these shoes.
a) Tattoo RBK somewhere prominent yet trendy, eg. the surface of my foot or the back of my neck or on my inner wrist.
b) write to RBK (which i am doing right now in an open letter kind of way) and tell them I Am What I Am (their campaign line for all your philistines) and therefore they should send me the shoes.
c) compromise the part of my personal brand that projects an Independent Woman image and ask my boyfriend to buy them for me (ha ha, i would never do that. Don’t forget when you compromise your personal brand for material things you have to consider what it will do to your relationship, and it’s not really fair to my man. To quote a great cereal company, “if it doesn’t say Kellog’s on the box, it’s not Kellog’s in the box”.)
d) buy them with my cashmoney and then claim them back when i do my tax at the end of the year since having a personal brand means i am a personal business and get such benefits.
e) do nothing and wait 3 days until i get obsessed with some other equally cool object that I can scheme about getting free.
What’s it gonna be?
Posted in cool stuff i like, free stuff, personal branding
Tagged advertising, ankle, boots, brand, cool, fashion, free stuff, giveaways, high top, marketing, mybrandedlife, personal brand, pink ribbon, reebok, shoes, sneakers, south africa, stripes
Mark, Reijer and I went to the Jitsvinger & ETC performance at 14 Hope Street last night. the venue isn’t the best for MCs since it’s a hall and it makes the sound bounce around and echo and you don’t get to hear the best of what they’re saying, but it was an energetic performance no less. partially charged by the energy of the ardent fans who were clearly there to recite every lyric word for word, the rest of the crowd was a strange mix. in fact, there was a granny who outdid everybody in terms of stamina and enthusiasm when it came to dancing. to me it seemed like a mix of family and close friends, made up by a bunch of youngsters i didn’t recognise, which is not something that usually happens in Cape Town.
Mark and I were hypothesizing that if we didn’t recognise anyone, it can’t be populated by the usual advertising crowd, therefore maybe Levi’s was actually reaching its market? rather have fewer on targets (the hall wasn’t even half full) than lots that miss the target. quality over quantity. got some pics:
jitsvinger, moments before he mimicked pulling a gun on me. seriously. freaking artists:
huge cuervo presence at the bar, with brands like Bell’s Whisky (WTF? Demographic brain freeze perhaps?), Smirnoff Spin, Storm, Heinekin and Windhoek bringing up the rear.
more crowd vibes
Posted in Africa, alcohol, ambassadors, branding, Cape Town, fashion, music, parties, popculture, retail, SA "street", SA cool kids, sponsorship
Tagged 14 hope street, activations, alex, bad sound, bell's whisky, brand, branding, Cape Town, coloured, converse shoes, ETC, event, gangs, gold tequila, heineken beer, hiphop, jitsvinger, jose cuervo, levi strauss, levi's young guns, mark stead, mitchell's plain, mybrandedlife, new talent, original music, party, rapper, reijer van der vlugt, retail, rhyming, smirnoff spin, smirnoff storm, south africa, sponsorship, street, township, white rapper, windhoek lager, young musicians