Tag Archives: celebrity

obama got the job and i’ve got a vision. let’s dance!

hey i know we advertising ppl live in a world of our own but did any of y’ulle hear?barack obama applied for the job of Prez of the United States of America and he got the job. pretty cool, huh?

gives me hope about my own dreams of becoming the President of the United States of America. LOL you can all probably guess that’s not reaaally my dream. like the parents of some rich hot chick in some movie said, Why would i want to waste my looks by using my brain?

This is a picture of me studying for my final exam back in college. Think it was Writing Eye Catching Billboards.

This is a picture of me studying for my final exam back in college. Think it was 'Writing Eye Catching Billboards".

Don’t worry y’ulle. There’s no danger of me using my brain any time soon. I’m very happy doing ppls nails (metaphorically speaking). I know that ppl value what i do and that i am useful and provide a service to someone, somewhere, and that’s all that matters, right?

Well…I’m not so sure anymore. You know as long as things are going badly (Southafricanland’s future president is a criminal & there’s a recession) i feel pretty okay with my lot because i can compare it too how bad things must be for other people (like any one of Jacob Zuma’s possibly HIV infected 9 wives or anyone who’s been retrenched due to the recession). But now that things have gone so well for Obama i kinda want to know when i can achieve my dream of being a respected copywriter-pop artist with my hit single ‘I Wanna Be Ur Facebook Girlfriend’ and the video in which i am naked except for *Sparkles* the editors have put on my hoo-hoo in post-production, while i dance against a slippery wall in the LA desert.

I have been called competitive, but really i am just resentful when people are more successful than me. - Alex van Tondress, S. African Advertising Pop Star

"I have been called 'competitive', but really i am just resentful when people are more successful than me." - Alex van Tondress, S. African Advertising Pop Star

Other tracks i have possibly lined up for my album include “Deep Etched Sex”, “Word Of My Mouth”, “Let’s Get Tactical”, “Sex Sells” and “Buy Me More”. let’s not forget my special track in honour of Obama called “Wham Bam Thank You M’am”. of course, i would release them for free on myspacebookster first, along with stills from the *Sparkles* scene, and get at least 1 alcohol or sneaker sponsor before i even started speaking to labels, so i know that i still have a lot of work ahead of me. luckily i am very pretty so it goes without saying that i work hard and am determined.

do y’ulle feel similarly affected by Obama’s success? are you jealous / resentful / envious / angry / horny? does Obama’s success make you want to consume brands that position themselves as successful in any way? like does it make you want to trade in your Mac for a Dell? or maybe you want to play PS3 instead of Wii now to honour the fact that the President of the USA is black and no longer white? does Obama’s success make you want to smoke expensive cigars and drink expensive whisky while you talk about expensive brandy in your expensive ‘businessman’s hotel’ on your expensive trip to Japan? I’m just trying to get a feel for what kind of ‘knock-on effect’ or ‘paradigm shift’ will come about as a result of this new president meme.

Obama has a lot of hard work ahead of him. he’s probably stressing, and obviously the Oval Office will now be working double time figuring out endorsement deals and what kind of brands will be appropriate as sponsors for their new pres. he’s probably feeling a bit confused as to which offers he should accept and which he should decline and ‘bank for later’. it will be a very difficult role. i would have a very tough time deciding between wearing Armani or Hugo Boss (and that’s just suits, we haven’t even touched on fragrance yet). Louis Vuitton is probably a bit tacky for luggage for a pres – i would advice him to go Gucci, maybe Prada. just thinking about the kinds of tough brand decisions Obama will have to make kinda gets me dizzy and wondering whether i’d really be able to cope with the pressures of fame.

i mean, an entire generation of men and their girlfriends are relying on him to save them from the grave fashion errors Bush is known for making. i salute you, Obama. you are a brave man to take on these challenges. but you have looked very well groomed and hot thus far, so i have a lot of faith that you will surround yourself with the hottest stylists and some honest fashion advisors and it will all be okay.

analysing Obama’s success like this has totally given me insight into how i can achieve my own success. see here i was giving myself ‘specialist online skills’ and ‘building my niche appeal through experience with social media’ to differentiate myself from all the other copywriter-pop stars out there, but all i really need is a good stylist and a wax therapist that i can trust. my eyes have been opened. i’m gonna change my facebook status right away. i now have concrete goals and a vision. i’m gonna start right now by getting a belly ring. yes i can, y’ulle!

The face of determination. I can haz it, yulle.

The face of determination. I can haz it, y'ulle.

is diabetes the new roboraptor? most wanted gift this christmas?

i find this a little weird but i guess if i was diabetic i would want to use the same thing that monitors my blood sugar levels as someone who is good-looking and famous. because if it doesn’t work for them you will know. here one of the jonas brothers gets his endorsement deal on with a Bayer product (hey i use Bayer vitamins in the form of Cal-C-Vita and Supradyn so i a way i feel close to nick jonas):

Making diabetes cool. Like when the cool kids at school got bracesi wanted braces, even though i had perfect teeth. Guess im grateful now LOL.

Like when the cool kids at school got bracesi wanted braces.

rad hey? makes you want to phone Discovery and ask whether this rad Bayer thing is covered in chronic. i feel inspired by this jonas-bayer brand sharing collaboration, and am considering writing a song about what it’s like to have high cholesterol (pity they don’t make fancy pocket testers. a pocket test for cholesterol is just a tapemeasure or the jeans test – when you sit down does your belly roll over your jeans? then your cholesterol is probably high). also considering offering myself to the heart foundation as a cholesterol ambassador. they could play the song i write on the tv commercials where everywhere is carrying their plush toy hearts around.

wonder how my song would go. maybe something like:

even though i’ve got a hot body

got a genetic condition from my daddy

means my arteries are a little fatty

so i gotta take pills, pills, pills

to stop from gettin ill, ill, ill

gotta watch what i eat

gotta stay on my feet and take

pills, pills, pills

You can grow your own cholesterol by eating lots of McDonalds or Crush. Dont be scared - Crush appears healthy but is actually highly fatty and processed.

Many great songs have been written bout living with cholesterol for eg. this bon jovi classic.

save the cheerleader (from being voted president), save the world

My daughter deserrrrved to get pregnant. She done went and showed herrrr KNEES!

"My daughter deserrrrved to get pregnant. She done went and showed herrrr KNEES!"

check out this totally neat site that shows you how things would be if Sarah Palin was pregnant president. i really empathise with americans right now, since they face the same threat we do – being governed by a buffoon. i feel for you guys. yulle need to vote real hard to make sure the palin vibe doesn’t happen. same goes for yulle here. “yulle” is my unique word. it’s a mixture of ‘y’all’ and ‘julle’ (the afrikaans version of ‘y’all’). always innovating.

i’ve been a bit out of touch with groundlevel politics lately – is Jacob Zuma still singing the song that goes “Bring me my machine gun”? isn’t it time they got a new songwriter to work with him? i heard JZ got dissed by Timbaland? i heard the new Britney Spears single Womanizer is about Jacob Zuma? And about Sarah Palin? can popstars be presidents? can i vote for Danny K rather? he seems like he’d care about my medical aid.

Other Danny K policies include free advice on How to Look Jewish and How To Act Black While Retaining Your White Integrity bylaws. I could definitely benefit from the second policy.

Other Danny K policies include free advice on How to Look Jewish and How To Act Black While Retaining Your White Integrity bylaws. I could definitely benefit from the second policy.

quote of the day: Let the poop flinging begin

“Felix Laband is a smack-head who gets little innocent girls addicted to smack then fucks off onto the next innocent little girl.”

– Cape Town Professional Local Celebrity / Singer / Rapper Max Normal, from his interview on facebook. Felix vs. Watkin Tudor Jones – IT’S ON.

Felix - Serial Crack Converter (accused)

Felix - Serial Crack Converter (accused).

notes from my googlereader

i’ve only just got into google reader. and if i was completely honest i’d name this post ‘notes from my delicious’ but where googlereader wins is that i actually check it whereas i’m not great at checking my delicious network. we’re busy developing and changes our IT structures at work, and are in the process of building a social networking type system as a brief submission alternative to email for our grasses – very exciting but i won’t say too much just yet as we’re just about to test it. we’re also exploring getting our office onto a google server and synchronising our calendars etc etc so i’ve been playing around with google, and i’m pleasantly surprised.

anyhow googlereader pulls all your RSS feeds from your favourite sites into an email type format, which you can open while you’re logged into your email, so it’s a lot easier than trying to check all those sites again or even remember what they are. here’s what googlereader brought me this week:

oh the irony: a short article about beijing’s fakes market developing its own ‘Silk Street’ brand.

silicon valley insider talks about how perhaps people don’t value music enough to pay for it in any format, on an article on the slowing of digital music sales.

i’ve been talking to a lot of our clients about personal branding lately, and this company that you can hire to get photographers to follow you around as if you are famous is a great example of this trend manifested.

an article about how much of your positioning is in your price tag, especially if you sell wine.

a thought-provoking argument from the guardian about how facebook’s on a mission to take over the world. i mean, how much do we know about the company anyway? (not dissing, just saying)

and then on the topic, this speaks about the popularity of virtual or ‘concept’ products, and how consumers are as much into buying stories as they are things.

sa cool kids: nonhle tema

a while ago we were approached by Legit to identify a super cool up-and-coming sassy lady to become the face of the brand. after going through a whole lot of so-so’s, we all decided on Nonhle, who’s currently bubbling up all sorts of fuss from her role as presenter on Channel O, and all the fun stuff that goes with that, like hanging with Hollywood:

nonhle rihann

here’s nonhle snug under rihanna’s umbrella. and here she is during a makeup session:

nonhle makeup

and here’s a nice little write up nonhle’s progress got on Suga’s Bloggiwood local schleb blog, which is where i got these images too. i reckon nonhle’s only going to get bigger round these parts. that’s if she doesn’t get snapped up the in states since she’s there all the time.