Tag Archives: client

The Client Special – Episode 1: How to approve a great idea.

It must be tough being a client because if you’re with a cool agency, you’re likely to be bombarded with great ideas. i’m talking snowstorm here – ‘great ideas to the left of me, brilliant ideas to the right, here i am, stuck in the middle with you.’

“if i were a client /even just 4 a day / i’d roll out of bed in the morning / and put on what i wanted and go” – Beyonce “Just-Another-Art-Director-Who-Wishes-She-Was-A-Popstar” Knowles


so after lots of thought, i have been collecting methods to make approval of ideas easier for clients. most of these methods have been tried and tested, although some of them are based purely on assumption and some are complete bullshit that I have fabricated to help me ‘deal with reality’. I will  be releasing “The Client Special – How To Approve A Great Idea’ on a weekly basis, almost like a ‘Magazine Show Blog Post’ aimed at creatives who aspire to eventually cross into Mordor and ultimately end up as brand managers.

It’s also for clients who need guidance when it comes to choosing from a whole lot of great ideas, with maybe some crap ideas mixed in there.

Pls note I cannot be held responsible for any bad advertising, tho will gladly take credit when you win at OneGoldShowPencilEagleLoerie Awards.

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Ad Approval Method #1: What does your cat think?


We all know that asking your kid / husband / wife / gran what they think of a campaign idea is a no-no, because of the dreaded ‘Sample of 1’ rule. But asking your cat is totally different. Cats are more intuitive. They are very picky, unlike your husband. The best way to ask your cat’s advice is to lay all the printouts from the agency all over the floor, and leave the room for a bit. Come back in 15 minutes and see which one the cat has decided to sleep on. That’s the idea that’s going to turn your business around.

(One of those solutions that seems so obvious in retrospect, right?)


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a free and fair celebrity endorsement: please chat to client service if you have any questions.

guys. GUYS. Daniel Craig got papparazzied with a Southafricanland keyring. serial guys. i’m totally confused. one thing i have learnt from hours of gazing at celebrity websites is that celebs do NOTHING by accident. celebrities are very important people and as economy-driving-thought-leaders every little detail of their lives is planned, and is usually sold as advertising space.

i present a photo i found on cherryflava:

Diamonds are forever. And they are found in Joburg. - D Craig

"Diamonds are forever. And they are found in Joburg." - D Craig

the first question is how is Daniel Craig’s personal brand affecting the country’s brand? (actually, the first question is IS THAT REALLY DANIEL CRAIG? JEES WHAT HAPPENED HE LOOKS LIKE SHIT but let’s leave that for websites who do mean for a living)

well, he’s known for playing a super famous spy – old 007. so perhaps ‘Southafricanlanders are crafty and smart’ is the message, since spies are known for being crafty and smart. Daniel is also an outdoorsy wholesome kinda guy, which is how you could describe Southafricanland before its ruling party, the ANC, erupted boils all over its face and ‘divorced itself’ (you can’t make this stuff up).

DCs pitch to the SA Brand Manager probably went something like this.

DC's pitch to the SA Brand Manager probably went something like this.

The other big question is WHO PAID HIM? Is this the reason our interest rates aren’t being cut? Is this the reason I am STILL paying a premium for Horlicks? Dear god in heaven.

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Question: Do you think the people of Southafricanland should have a say in which celeb endorses the national brand? Should celeb endorsements be subject to a free and fair election like the election we are supposed to have to determine the country’s president? Who would YOU vote for?

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here are some suggestions followed by a possible reason:

a) Pete Wentz, because of that THAT PHOTO. You’ll have to go google to find the uncensored version. He would appeal to the women of this country looking for a more progressive take on what it means to be a man that does not involve being treated like a piece of cattle. Is a piece of cattle a cow? more importantly:

Because masculinity is not about anything but being comfortable with holding your peen on camera.

Because masculinity is not about anything but being comfortable with holding your peen on camera.

b) Lourdes Leon and Rocco Ritchie – Madonna’s children – who will be the victims in her upcoming divorce, kind of like we as citizens are victims now that our government has decided to divorce itself. Hopefully our government doesn’t use us as a weapon against its estranged other halves / quarters / eighths / a million little pieces by james frey.

c)  Legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin, who was caught checking facebook during the presidential debate last night. He would be the ‘accessible celebrity’ due to his inability to control his obsession with The Glorified Message Board, appealing to the Late Majority, and he would also have the benefit of a rapid expiry date (famous fast, never last) which could be used for some rapid-fire publicity before we move onto something more long term.

JT for South Africa - yeah! JT 3 JZ 4 Eva! (or maybe a few days)

JT for South Africa - yeah! JT ❤ JZ 4 Eva! (or maybe a few days)

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>>>Remember the Southafricanland keyring needs to fit naturally into the life of the celebrities we nominate so choose wisely and don’t nominate someone like Tom Cruise because he lives on a space ship and space technology does not use keys to open, it just slides open on hybrid-buffer-hydraulic-interfacing-proxima technology but we all know that, just using him as an example. in case you get lazy with your thinking. oh BTW, client wants your suggestions by tomorrow morning as he is going to Zanzibar for 2 weeks and then we need to start shooting. sorry! :p <<<

the client – agency game

every friday we get a half day off and every second friday we spend a few hours out of that half day discussing how can do our jobs better. one person has to give a talk / workshop, and last friday it was jason’s turn. he got us to play this Client-Agency game, which goes something like this:

you have 2 teams. in each team one person is a client, one person is the agency, and one person is the fairy godmother. the client has to perform a task (in this instance, blow up a balloon) but they are unable to use their arms – the Agency has to stand behind them and tell them what needs to be done. see exhibit A:

clientagency

once they’ve performed the task, thefairy godmother, placed on the other side of the room,has to direct both blindfolded client and agency to where they are. then client-agency teamhas to pull the fairy godmother (identified as the person wearing the hat) back to their ‘office’, see exhibit B:

godmother

then the faiy godmother has to throw marshmellows at the client-agency team. first team to finish the marshmellows wins. please note that while this looks frivolous and just plain awesome it is the closest reinactment to life in advertising as it’s possible to get with a bunch of masks and balloons and is not to be taken lightly. then we got down to our meeting, presided over by well known and respected Ian Calvert (see below):

ian