Tag Archives: creative

Learning 2 speak Client Service y’ulz

Hey y’ulz. Year is “drawing 2 a close”. Nearly holiday time. “A time 4 family” (4 those of y’ulz whose dad di’nt shoot y’ulz due to the recession / being a policeman). “A time 4 giving” (4 those of y’ulz who are new 2 jail / advertising).

NE wayz, Just got handed a debrief with this instruction:

“Please craft copy.”

Is cool, can dig it coz it kind of “makes sense”. Is a debrief on a conceptual job, so the copy ‘woznt 4 realsies’ NE wayz. But kind of confused bcoz we presented 4 different ideas / directions, but the debrief gots no word on which idea / version of not-4-realsies-copy the client bought & wants crafted. Confused y’ulz.

Flipped through debrief but no more clues. Opened job bag 2 see if further instructions were hidden inside like a “Simba Surprise”. Closed my eyes & opened my 3rd eye while moving upside down shot glass slowly over job bag like ouijja board, hoping some friendly demon bro would “clarify the details on the debrief” via “being invoked”. Nothing y’ulz.

Phoned client service due 2 confusion. Felt rly bad coz interrupted her hair appointment plus messed up her nails coz she had 2 answer phone.

I said:

“Am like sooooo sorry 2 interrupt your hair appy, am so sorry, here, bought this chocolate cake i baked myself from flour my grandma ground herself just before she died, but kind of don’t know what u mean on your debrief. Please could you explain, even if you just give me one more word 2 go by. Am really stupid, pls excuse me.”

She said:

“Why are cre8ive so stupid? I meant pls go with option 2, except make it about unicorns instead of pegasuses, plus copy needs 2 sound like it is being spoken by the sound of Danny De Vito’s one hand clapping in Batman Returns, also client would like 3 different version of the copy for use on 3 diff size ads, plus a radio campaign.”

Felt so blessed y’ulz. Normally NEVER get this much information on “what client wants” from Client Service. Offered 2 ‘wash her feet with my hair’ but she was like “you cre8ives are so creepy” and turned her hairdryer back on. Don’t rly know what 2 do with myself now since managed 2 ‘klap the debrief one-time’ when it normally takes 7 000 reverts due to there “never being enough time 4 a proper brief & always enuff time 2 redo the work”. Feel like I have made majah progress. Feel like am “learning the language of Client Service” y’ulz. Huge.

So grateful 2 be just a small part of something so big y’all.

The Client Special – Episode 1: How to approve a great idea.

It must be tough being a client because if you’re with a cool agency, you’re likely to be bombarded with great ideas. i’m talking snowstorm here – ‘great ideas to the left of me, brilliant ideas to the right, here i am, stuck in the middle with you.’

“if i were a client /even just 4 a day / i’d roll out of bed in the morning / and put on what i wanted and go” – Beyonce “Just-Another-Art-Director-Who-Wishes-She-Was-A-Popstar” Knowles

so after lots of thought, i have been collecting methods to make approval of ideas easier for clients. most of these methods have been tried and tested, although some of them are based purely on assumption and some are complete bullshit that I have fabricated to help me ‘deal with reality’. I will  be releasing “The Client Special – How To Approve A Great Idea’ on a weekly basis, almost like a ‘Magazine Show Blog Post’ aimed at creatives who aspire to eventually cross into Mordor and ultimately end up as brand managers.

It’s also for clients who need guidance when it comes to choosing from a whole lot of great ideas, with maybe some crap ideas mixed in there.

Pls note I cannot be held responsible for any bad advertising, tho will gladly take credit when you win at OneGoldShowPencilEagleLoerie Awards.

******************************GET READY YO**********************************************

Ad Approval Method #1: What does your cat think?

We all know that asking your kid / husband / wife / gran what they think of a campaign idea is a no-no, because of the dreaded ‘Sample of 1’ rule. But asking your cat is totally different. Cats are more intuitive. They are very picky, unlike your husband. The best way to ask your cat’s advice is to lay all the printouts from the agency all over the floor, and leave the room for a bit. Come back in 15 minutes and see which one the cat has decided to sleep on. That’s the idea that’s going to turn your business around.

(One of those solutions that seems so obvious in retrospect, right?)

christmas party pressure. so much pressure to be clever and funny.

Executive Creative Director sent this mail around yesterday:

It seems people are taking the Christmas theme of dressing up as your favourite singer and/or band very literally. You are, of course, very welcome to put on a wig and short skirt and come as Tina Turner, or wear nothing but black and come as Johnny Cash or Roy Orbison, or get 3 friends and come as ABBA. But here are some thought starters on how to be a little less obvious:

Put a flashing blue light on your head and come as The Police.

You could wrap yourself in a black refuse bag and come as Garbage.

You could dress like James and come as James. Duh.

You could strap a Radio to your head and come as Radiohead.

Two of you girls could come naked with a stuffed springbok under your arm. Yep, you got.

You could get a friend, one of you dress in white, one in black, and come as Salt ‘n Pepa. Even better if you each drilled holes in your head.

We don’t however want anyone coming as The Strokes, ok?.

Good luck.

Over and Out.”

Feeling rly worried that i don’t come up with the smartest costume. Especially since I’m a copywriter and supposed to be strong on concept. Supposed to have a brain for strategy, but what if i’ve just got a brain for wanting to look hot at the Christmas party and dress up like Amy Winehouse because i have as much if not more hair than her. And if i have more than 1 drink (not likely, given brand dilemma) it’ll just look like i’m in character?

Dance floors heating up. Time for the speech about how our agency needs to give an extra 10 %.

Dance floor's heating up. Time for the speech about how our agency needs to give an extra 10 %.

Agency Christmas parties are always big on the pressure like this. See, it all depends on what tribe you belong to within the agency. the PR chicks will make any theme an excuse to dress like slaggy whores. you could make the theme ‘Potato Sack’ and they would put ripped fish nets under the potato sack and cut the sack really short.

Client service are kind of similar. you get those client service chicks who essentially come as themselves and then put a flower in their hair and say they are Madonna in that one video where she had a flower in her hair because they are so scared of not looking hot.

You can count on the events company getting pretty zany, since they go to so many parties and have seen every costume under the sun they will very often have access to the best rental places.

But if you’re in creative, there’s big pressure. Big pressure to make some sort of visual pun, to make people work out what you are. Sigh. Thinking of sticking to my original plan and going as crazy britney. really miss those days of hers. Made me feel really together, like a lifestyle brand as opposed to a niche electro label. Gotta keep innovating, I guess.

Should have been a copywriter not a pop star.

Should have been a copywriter not a pop star.

Need a device like a pink wig to warn ppl im on the rag.

Need a device like a pink wig to warn ppl i'm on the rag.

Test-driving a car im about to write radio ads for.

Test-driving a car i'm about to write radio ads for.

Pulling another all nighter. Need the Bull.

Pulling another all nighter. Need the Bull.

not sure i can take this whole ‘dress up as your favourite band/singer’ brief srsly unless there’s some sort of award going. can someone phone Arlene Donnenberg and ask her if we can get cre8ive circle points for highly conceptual and original xmas party costumes? scared i use up my mental desktop thinking of awesome outfits and don’t have any left for award-winning ideas. what if ideas like are the eggs in your ovaries? as in, are you born with a set amount and once you’ve used them all up they’re gone? can i get my ideas cryogenically frozen, that way if i need an idea when i’m over the age of 35 i can use the ones i stowed away in my youth? is it true that older women have ideas with higher IQs than younger women?


“Always use christmas parties as an opportunity to show your Creative Director that you are one crazy m*otherf*cker by taking off your top and flashing your breasts. That way he won’t think twice about sending the potentially award-winning new media tactical brief your way next time management has a status meeting at Vida.” – Bill Bernbach


south african novel of the year: Moxyland

25th of April is the launch date for Lauren Beukes’s first novel – Moxyland. I have been privvy to the manuscript pre-publishing, and i sincerely hope it goes cult classic. set in a future Cape Town, your life is controlled by your cellphone, you are hostage to a government that oppresses its citizens through censorship and genetically modified Alsations called Aitos watch your every move. the character cast is made up of an artist who sells her body to an energy drink in exchange for being able to create her art, a super genius hacker who helps her digital graffiti friends break through information control to disseminate the truth and a rich kid blogger who has a sociopathic lack of conscience. i sincerely hope it gets picked up by a large rich studio looking for something different to produce and gets made into a movie. anyhow watch this space, i will be well documenting the launch.

moxyland cover

consumer collaboration tours (Colab)

we do some fantastic work with brands that want consumer input right from New Product Development stage through to marketing, and our latest project took Priscilla and I to Joburg, Pretoria and Durban. I love working on projects like these because it means getting to meet all the crazy cool people in our grass network, and actually spend time with them while still getting creative on some very forward thinking brands.

here’s one of our grasses at our Cape Town session:

orange top

and this is at Bean Bag Bohemia in Durban







i don’t have very many other photos because i was running the sessions but i’ll be getting more from our photographer.

“don’t cry we’ll make you a design”


Says an SA Creative Collective that hails from Jozi called TeamUnCool“. here’s some of the stuff they do:


SL cd cover

chinxxx is an electronica dj and producer it would seem (described on the site as OI-LEE – drawing + flash animation + live visuals + kungfu kicks + huggs) and has all these rad pics and gifs on her myspace. worth a peek.


and this is designer / illustrator / sound designer kidu’s I Love Zulu book:


and Chris Saunders who is a photographer:

chris saunders1

chris saunders2