Why living at Medi-Clinic Cape Town is better than living in my (very rad, but let’s face it, not nearly as service-orientated) flat:
– they gave me my own private room with a view of the city and an en-suite bathroom
– people kept asking me ‘how i was’ and whether i ‘need anything’ and fluffing up my pillows
– they brought me food and drink when I wanted it and rolled me around on a bed
Like, the best! I could get used to that. Also super pleased with my brain implant, which now allows me to ‘Blog Just By Thinking’ (BJBT). Which is exactly what I’m doing right. now. While you let that wash over you, do spare a moment for a LOL-filled interview with Our Lady Gaga, who talks about monsters, playgirls and how her sex does NOT distract from her music. LOVE the purple horn hair. Want it. Can someone hook me up? <your ad here>
Posted in Cape Town, celebrity, my real life
Tagged awesome, brain implant, Cape Town, hotel, interview, lady gaga, medi-clinic, monsters, my branded life, playgirls, review, transplant
so cherryflava wrote about the trailer park hotel opening at the Grand Daddy in Long Street and posted this fine ol’ pic of me and my bear:
Me and my boo (bear). Things are just fine now that Mama Bear's left.
should i go blonde y’ulle? should i quit my job and be goldilocks full time? i could probably do Snow White and Jasmine from Aladdin too, if i don’t cut my hair as planned on Wednesday. maybe i could sign some sort of endorsement deal with various sponsors looking to add some sort of ingenue /sex fetish appeal. maybe Jessica Simpson Hair ExtensionsTM ‘n me should talk.
have any of y’ulle ever been featured on a ‘trend blog’? not sure how i feel about it. wondering if i’ve accomplished a subconscious lifetime dream. thank goodness i wasn’t featured for not wearing panties at the Assembly / for having 8 babies / for slashing toddlers at a daycare / for being ‘too real’. all of the above would suck as trends. am feeling a bit worried because now that i have been featured once, i’ve had a taste of trend fame. i want more.
i want to BE the superbowl. i want to BE the amy winehouse beehive. i want to BE the intriguing diagram that conveys how men think about nothing but sex and beer. i want to BE the ‘funniest complain letter in the world, ever’. i want to BE sneezing baby panda.
maybe i’ll just settle for blonde. life’s confusing enough as it is. speaking of confusing, have y’ulle seen the Cadbury’s Drumming Gorilla ad 2.0? it features 2 kids who move their eyebrows to the rhythm of the backing track, and presumably, the rhythm of their souls.
hmm. really makes me think. did y’ulle rush off to the bathroom right after you favourited this on your youtube to see if you could do that with your eyebrows? i can’t, in case you were wondering. did y’ulle rush out and buy (cadbury’s) chocolate right after you saw this ad? (i didn’t. only eat lindt even though i have to draw from my mortgage to pay for it, but i’d never compromise my personalbrand 4 money). maybe this ad is aimed at kids and we just don’t get it.
do you think this ad is exploiting childrens? you know how weird childrens can be – almost every children has some sort of strange nervous tick that their parents have to wean them off through expensive therapy / ritalin / mood stabilizers / beating the shit out of them / being alcoholic parents ‘to give the kid something real 2 worry about’. i’m not sure whether advertisers should be exploiting this insight into children and family dynamics. will someone report this to the ACA? the CIA? the AA? not sure what kind of help these 2 exploited young ‘uns need. maybe someone can sponsor a doll for them so they can point out where they were touched on their faces when this ad was made.
i’m also scared of what kind of repercussions this ad is going to have. what if popular clubs like The Assembly and Bassline and 88 start playing a beaty remix of this track, thereby encouraging drunk patrons to mimic these offensively naff eyebrow movements? what if squeeky balloons become the new rave whistles / glow sticks / lollipops / vuvuzelas? what if i never stop asking silly questions on my blog followed by forward-slash-separated-variables? sigh. it’s going to be a really tough one because eyebrows are a lot harder to print branding on than rave whistles / glow sticks / lollipops / vuvuzelas, and the balloon will eventually deflate and is only a ‘temporary solution’.
not sure how to finish this post. hey look. more pictures of me as goldilocks.
Just ate some hot porridge.
Bears tell great jokes.
Posted in advertising, ambassadors, confectionary, creatives, design, experiential, my real life, personal branding, tv
Tagged 3 bears, alex, blonde, cadbury's eyebrow ad, cherryflava, children, chocolate, glow sticks, goldilocks, grand daddy, hotel, kids, long street, mark stead, marketing blog, my branded life, nervous ticks, opening, rave accessories, sky, tourettes, trailer park, trend, whistles
went to go see Mark and Jo Stead’s caravan the other night. walked into the beautifully redone foyer of the old Metropole hotel (now the Grand Daddy as in Daddy Long Legs Art Hotel) and asked where i could find the caravans.
“You mean the Gulf Streams?” said the receptionist. Aren’t Gulf Streams jets? Turns out they are called “Airstreams”. NEways, ascended the staircase and landed on the roof of the metropole. Mark and co were sitting around with ciders and wine. The only 2 caravans i saw worth documenting were Mark’s and another artist who did a polkadot dorothy theme. some pics:
Dot dot dot.
There's no place like home.
We were joking that it would be funny if the south easter picked up this caravan and dumped it in the middle of Bree Street.
Me in a dot mirror.
And onto Mark and Jo’s Gulf Stream Jet:
Momma bear's chair. Note the embroidery in the cushion.
Wait, this is more like Momma bear's chair.
Bear family heritage. A proud mantelpiece.
A solid bear face. The kind of bear you'd like to sit down at a fireside with and talk berries and salmon.
Special bear porridge bowls.
Kinky post-its from Goldilocks.
Goldilocks wig. Her dress hangs up in the cupboard.
The bear head is also in the cupboard. Things start looking very kinky round about now.
Mark in his bear mask. Far more charming than the Dead Kennedy's mask he wore to the christmas party.
And there you have it. If you’d like to stay there, get ready to pay 4 star prices. Book by popping into 38 Long Street or by calling +27 21 424 7247 or by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org .
Posted in accessible premium, collaborations, cool stuff i like, innovation
Tagged 3 bears, 4 star, art hotel, artists, boutique hotel, Cape Town, goldilocks, grand daddy, grand daddy hotel, hotel, jo stead, long street, mark stead, mybrandedlife, old metropole hotel