Tag Archives: kanye west

weekly roundup: stuff and things

if i was still doing tv ads i would probably be obsessing about how i can get wes anderson to direct one of my commercials. good thing i am now focusing on design and more through-the-line, experiental / real-life/ meaningful concepts, because i can imagine i would do a lot of lame things like get dressed up like Angelica Houston in Life Aquatic / Royal Tennenbaums and re-enact classic scenes from those movies just so i could fit getting all celebrity-director feverish into my 9-5. i would post lots of movies on youtube which no one but my colleagues and stalker ex boyfriend would view, while they cringed for me. anyway here is an ad starring brad pitt that wes directed.

Hello I am Wes Anderson. I directed classics you might have heard of such as A Life Aquatic, which was inspired by me drinking this glass of water. I also directed The Royal Tennenbaums. Plus I directed that quirky movie about 3 brothers who find themselves on a train in India. I forgot the name because I dont define myself by what i do but rather by who I am. I am confidant and down-to-earth. I am sorry but i cant direct your fragrance commercial because it doesnt align with my personal brand, even though you wrote it for me. I guess Ive changed. Youve changed. Change is part of life. Sorry.

Hello I am Wes Anderson. I directed classics you might have heard of such as A Life Aquatic, which was inspired by me drinking this glass of water. I also directed The Royal Tennenbaums. Plus I directed that quirky movie about 3 brothers who find themselves on a train in India. I forgot the name because I don't define myself by what i do but rather by who I am. I am confident and down-to-earth. I am sorry but i can't direct your fragrance commercial because it doesn't align with my personal brand, even though you wrote it for me. I guess I've changed. You've changed. Change is part of life. Sorry.

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in other news, i spent an amazing day at the South African History Museum on Saturday. went and investigated all the fossils. learnt about where we come from. learnt about how we evolved from small 1-bit file sizes to full on 500 GB living breathing human hard drives. remembered how small we are in the greater scheme of things. i even met a really nice shark with whom i hit it off immediately. we might get lunch next week.

Its good to make friends with people who are different to you, so that you can learn about yourself through your differences.

It's good to make friends with people who are different to you, so that you can learn about yourself through your differences.

this followed a most intense full-body massage i had at the Paris Spa right here below our offices at Wembley Square. a girl called Abigail took me for an Aromatherapy treatment, and managed to coax out via sheer force all the tension that’s been building in my shoulders for the past year or so. i came out feeling like i’d found god in the form of a plump and smiley masseuse with hair extensions. big thanks must go to my mum, who got me the massage as a christmas present.

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I bumped into Kanye West on a blog this morning, and he told me he’s giving up rapping for fashion. says he just wants to do something normal, now that he is at the apex of his career / everybody’s career.

Kanye with this summers new menswear pattern. Swirly vibes are the new pinstripe.

Kanye with this summer's new menswear pattern. Swirly vibes are the new pinstripe.

So i asked him what of that great idea i had where he could come be President of South Africanland. I pointed out that it would be pretty similar to being a rapper but he said he wasn’t sure if a seat in parliament would ‘bring it’ enough for him to feel motivated every day. sad news. got my hopes up. at least kanye has enough $ with which to bribe central st. martin’s. ask anyone who has any real talent and they’ll tell you they didn’t get accepted into central st. martin’s because their father doesn’t belong to the Old Boys Oxford St Martin’s Old English Money Lord Alumni. life’s tough when you’re just a nobody from southafricanland who didn’t make a ‘high art’ rap album to get you a foot in the fashion door.

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one more week til holidays. i go off on friday and come back on monday 5 jan. i know if i was *really* committed to being a real blogger i would blog all the way through but i’ve already committed to a tan and a book and a swimming pool. plus the screen on my new Macbook pro-Pod Steve Jobs Worx is too glossy for the outdoors. and i’ll be damned if i sacrifice reasonable exchange rates on Horlicks in Africa and then not make use of the sunshine.

Only 4 more days, horsey. Just put one hoof in front of the other. Think of all the carrots and sugarlumps waiting for you at the end of this week.

Only 4 more days, horsey. Just put one hoof in front of the other. Think of all the carrots and sugarlumps waiting for you at the end of this week.

sticking to the rules. blogging through the storm.

trying not to ‘not blog’, but amount of work in system at the moment is not very accommodating when it comes to doing anything save shovel piles of sand on the flames to keep it from igniting into a furnace that turns me into a ghost who haunts the person who receives my corneas after they get transplanted. you know things are really bad when i start referencing jessica alba movies. rei and i watched ‘the eye’ last night. very jumpy. very freaky. not great since have just recovered from a stephen king novel, and was then subjected to ‘supernatural’ on tv the night before last, and then more malicious paranormal shadows in ‘the eye’.

Me dressed up as a paranormal shadow.

Me dressed up as a paranormal shadow.

been reading stephen king because i have this great idea for a thriller/horror, and i wanted to learn from him since he manages to make quite un-scary and tame monsters heeb and jeeb the smug out of you. boy did i learn. i had a horrible nightmare, so horrible i gathered together all my crystals and placed them in a triangle around my bed so as to deflect any kind of night terrors that might come creeping. fat lot of good it did since i then dreamt that my foot had been chopped off and i found it at the bottom of the virgin active swimming pool, and spent the rest of the nightmare trying to find someone who could take me to hospital (my gran wasn’t sympathetic, my mom had something else to do and my brother accused me of only phoning him when i need something). Rei suggested that i probably stuck my leg out off the bed and my foot exceed the crystal triangle, thus i dreamt it got cut off. which is nauseatingly plausible.

on another note, new party COPE do have a logo / look and feel. not sure i like it. i feel like these super saturated colours are a bit tired. i know it’s supposed to reflect africa and the heart and vibrancy of african people, but i wish politicians would have a little sympathy for our eyes. you gotta think of your rallies. you’re going to have a lot of people wearing shirts the colour of a fast-ripening banana. fast-ripening banana has never been a colour synonymous with progress or revolution. wish the designer working on this would go back to tech and redo their guache colour charts.

I can almost smell banana smell.

I can almost smell banana smell.

i do quite like the star vibes though. reminds me of a colourful diamond. i feel like i could vote for a party like this because diamonds remind me of kanye west (I’m not a businessman i’m a business, MAN) and i would be totally cool with kanye west being the president of southafricanland. he’d definitely have more interesting tunes that that dude who sings the song about his machine gun. not sure how you guys feel about an artist that releases and performs only one song over and over. he definitely doesn’t deserve any awards from MTV, you know what i’m saying?

If Kanye deigned to sing a song about bringing him a gun am pretty sure it would be something like bring me my tazer lazer ripper, yo.

If Kanye deigned to sing a song about bringing him a gun am pretty sure it would be something like 'bring me my tazer lazer ripper, yo'.

If Kanye was president of South Africa hed give the police these rad shutter shades which would enable them to see table tops to what the dodgy politicians were doing beneath them. Bet he could see all the stuff thats been hidden under the carpet, too.

If Kanye was president of South Africa he'd give the police these rad shutter shades which would enable them to see through table tops to what the dodgy politicians were doing beneath them. Bet he could see all the stuff that's been hidden under the carpet, too.

If Kanye West was president of SA he would provide free pool education to all children so that they could snooker their way above the breadline as opposed to killing people for their cellphones.

If Kanye West was president of SA he would provide free pool education to all children so that they could snooker their way above the breadline as opposed to killing people for their cellphones.

anyways will get back to blogging for realz when this big project comes through. shouldn’t be long now. in the meantime i’ll try update my status on facebook more often since then you can feel like me and you are BFFs and be there for me during the hard times.