Tag Archives: laggards

birthday hair & thanks

birthday hair was done on Saturday courtesy of Cristal at Hand. thanks babe. you make me look like someone who is ‘zany, cool and deserving of a ticket to the VICE magazine launch’. Oh, and thanksĀ  to WeAreAwesome for the ticket to the VICE magazine launch. it’s the hair, right? See y’ulle on friday night (or not, if you’re a laggard. VICE is strictly early adopters y’ulle. time to ‘get nasty’.)

Hair before.

Hair before.

Hair after.

Hair after.

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i want a man who gets together with his choir buddies and drinks brandy in tea cups before breaking into a solo. and if i didn’t want a man like that, i would want to BE a man like that.

big, f-ing NOT. but what the hell was klipdrift thinking? that they would make The Great South African Ad? that they would with one fell, swooping television disaster wreak havoc upon attitudes that judge a bunch of men singing songs and clutching teacups as lame? did they think they were going to Change History? i will eat my own hair – all of it – in front of the person who shows me any culture or subculture in the world that aspires to sing in a male choir and drink brandy in tea cups.

Nothing like a spot of brandy eh chaps? Toodle-loo!

Nothing like a spot of brandy eh chaps? Toodle-loo!

well, maybe i am being a little hasty. klipdrift could be starting a trend right under my nose. maybe i am being narrow-minded and ‘not open to new things’. maybe i ‘live under a rock’ and this is ‘what the men of today are vibing to’. it could very well be the case. living out here at the bleeding edge is almost like being a late majority laggard. on the bleeding edge the trends reach you so early you don’t even know they’re trends. same vibe on the laggard side except well… you get the picture.

This curves about facebook but youll find facebook in every trend so *shrug*

This curve's about facebook but you'll find facebook in every trend so *shrug*

“Never underestimate your audience. Most of the time they are smarter than you simply by virtue of the fact that they don’t give a shit about what you have to say.” – David Ogilvie

maybe i just have inherent issues with men harmonising. too many bishops eisteddfods will do that to you. sometimes i wake up sweating from a nightmare where four pubescent boys are serenading me alternately with Elton John and James. my boyfriend has had to unpick the sheets from my semi-epileptic claws. men should never harmonise, unless all men involved are Justin Timberlake.

would never be caught dead drinking anything out a teacup.

JT: would never be caught dead drinking anything out a teacup. 'cept maybe Grey Goose.

are you peeing in the pool? because we put that stuff in that makes the water turn red when you do. so we’ll know it’s you. just so you know.

as some of you may know, i have left facebook. not completely – i haven’t deleted my account – but i won’t be logging in again any time soon, and i have joined the Facebook Suicide cult which means from 12 December you will no longer be able to write on my wall or send me your stupid applications. which begs the questions….

“But Alex, how will this affect your online presence? Isn’t deleting your facebook taking a huge swipe at all the hard blogging you’ve done so far? Can you still be a credible new media consultant without a facebook account? You must be hanging out online SOMEWHERE, so where is it?”

My answer to this relevant line of questioning would be:

Facebook is for laggards. If you don’t know what laggards are, here’s a handy little graph all of us fall onto in some way, whether you like it or not.

This could be you.

This could be you.

Before you start telling me how unique you are and how you don’t buy into society’s idea of who you are and what other people think, let me stop you by saying, i don’t give a shit, because every product you ever buy and every service you ever buy into and every magazine you pick up and read or even gloss over, will place you somewhere on one of these graphs. denying it would be like denying god, or jacob zuma. you might not agree with them, or like them, but they are as real as the macbook you’re staring at. and now you know.

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Question: For those of you who ARE concerned with where you fall on Roger’s Curve of Adoption, do you think it’s only right for companies and services to place a warning on what they’re selling, kind of like the health warnings on cigarette packs?

What? You just dropped 2k on these? Sucks for you. Dont you remember Fergie singing about these babies way back when? Seven Jeans, True Religion, I say no but they keep giving. That was back when she was still part of Black Eyed Peas. Almost 3 years ago. And you thought they would make you cool? Dont say you didnt, because how else do you explain dropping 2k on jeans? Its okay. If anyone notices just say youre going retro for summer. Also, if you bring up the Nerd is the new cool trend in conversation while wearing these you might be able to loop yourself back in time to early majority. But be warned - thats only going to keep you safe for about a month before youre right back in late majority. Trends move fast, yo.

What? You just dropped 2k on these? Sucks for you. Don't you remember Fergie singing about these babies way back when? "Seven Jeans, True Religion, I say no but they keep giving." That was back when she was still part of Black Eyed Peas. That was MY HUMPS. Almost 3 years ago. And you thought they would make you cool? Don't say you didn't, because how else do you explain dropping 2k on jeans? It's okay. If anyone notices just say you're 'going retro for summer'. Also, if you bring up the 'Being uncool is the new cool trend' in conversation while wearing these you might be able to loop yourself back in time to early majority. But be warned - that's only going to keep you safe for about a month before you're right back in late majority. Trends move fast, yo.

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BACK TO THE TOPIC:

So, as i was saying, I’m not on facebook. And I’ve given you my reason. So I guess the new question is WHERE ARE THE INNOVATORS RIGHT NOW? They’re here.

Even though this moment this post goes live, they will have to find somewhere else to be. But hey. Sometimes its good to take a break from innovating and just sit pretty like bullfrogs in the crisp cool waters of the Early Majority Pool. We’ll have about 6 months in there before the Late Majorities start peeing in it, and then the neighbourhood will eventually go stale as the Laggards move in, bring their waterwinged kids and coolerboxes full of the Diesel SFW XXX video. Enjoy it while it lasts.