Tag Archives: marketing

The study that changed my life: a profbro’s story

I am a professor bro. Have studied lots. I have a doctorate, but it never really ‘opened the doors’ I’d always hoped it would. Had dreams of winning a Nobel Prize. Didn’t happen. So bummed. Drank myself in2 a stupour over it the other day at some bar. Met some chick with a short skirt. Said she worked in PR. Said she could ‘make it happen 4 me’. Didn’t rly believe her. She was ‘too pretty 2 be smart’, & the kind of woman ‘I’d never get’. Just wanted 2 die.

Then she called me back the next day. Said she had this ‘gr8 idea 4 a study’. She said ‘Let’s do something big, something with high talkability & buzz factor. Let’s do a study bout how “Cape Town is racist“. That’ll get ‘em  all frothy & will give you industry credibility & media exposure.’ Crazy bint.

Didn’t rly take her srsly coz she’s not an alumni. Don’t take non-academics srsly. Bet she can’t even spell ‘schisms’. Drank some more and passed out in my own puke. Woke up with my face squashed on a Lever Arch File and her card in my hand. Smoked a cigarette. Called her. Gave the ‘study’ a go-ahead, even though she said she’d just get some friends over for drinks and ‘get some sound bytes’ and leave out anything that didn’t sound racist. Drank more until I passed out in my puke again. Hate my life. Just wanted ppl 2 respect me. Thinking of studying further.

Next day woke up with one of my young female coloured students, all naked and passed out next to me in my own puke. Felt a bit better, like ‘my suffering had purpose’ and ‘I was bridging the prejudice divide’ (via fucking & a blackout). Finally felt like I’d made up 4 ‘being born in cape town’. Thought of writing a book about it & calling it ‘Disgrace’ but realised it had already being done (hate u JM).

The phone rang. It was the PR chick. She said the ‘study’ made front page news. Said it was ‘creating a lot of buzz’ and ‘perpendicular trajectory word-of-mouth spinoff’ and that my ‘exposure was high’ and that I would now be a ‘respected profbro’. So relieved. She said my name comes up first if u google ‘cape town racist’. She said ‘the twitter is buzzing with hatespeech about capetonians’. She said ‘now you’re famous!’ Sooooo awesome y’all. Gonna do another ‘controversial study’ soon. Is rly helping my application 4 a study grant that will pay for more booze (ran out last night, pretty bummed). Gonna aim for a Nobel in 2010. Wish me luck.


ATL vs BTL

I am ATL. I ONLY do TV, Radio, Print & Billboards. But I won’t do any of those if there is a ‘promotional’ aspect involved. I am above ‘promotional aspects’ and all that ‘selling’ stuff. I am an artiste.

I am BTL. I do a lot of promotional work, but I’ll do anything really. My main concern is reaching consumers in a way that makes a real impact, whatever that way may be. But I’m not fussy.

I am ATL. The other day I was asked to contribute to a ‘strategic workshop’. I didn’t know WTF I was supposed to do. I mean, WTF. I make billboards? I was like, why am I here? Such a waste of my, like, time. Like, what am I supposed to do?

I am BTL. Very often, our job starts long before the work becomes a brochure, or a piece of direct marketing / design / digital. We spend a lot of time refining strategic insights so that our work is focused. It’s interesting because we are able to holistically tackle real business challenges and make work that makes a difference.

I am ATL. The other day I got a print ad brief with only 2 weeks to work on it. 2 weeks? How am I supposed to come up with genius in only 2 weeks? What are they thinking? So I had a temper tantrum until they gave me an extra week.

I am BTL. We generally have to work very fast, but that’s okay. We’re used to it. Usually I work on about 15 jobs at once, all in different stages of production. Our average deadline is about 2 days. This means we work late a lot but hey, that which doesn’t kill me will only make me smarter, right?

I am ATL. This basically means I’m at the top of the advertising food chain. I know, I know, you’d never think so since I’m so humble, right?

I am BTL. A lot of people think BTL is all the stuff ATL doesn’t want to do. Sometimes ATL bullies traffic into giving us the jobs they think is ‘beneath them’, but that’s cool, whatever. We’re used to working hard so its no sweat really. Besides we kind of feel sorry for ATL since we all know no one watches TV / reads print ads anymore? So we just try to make everyone feel okay about things.


27 Dinners

27 Dinners was supremely legendary. First up was our pimp-assed limo trip around the peninsula, which was a little like being on the Starship Enterprise.

Warp speed ON!

Warp speed ON!

There was champagne everywhere.

A little champagne before the show.

Mirrors and LCDs everywhere.

Mirrors and LCDs everywhere.

The boys from From The Couch, and Matt Buckland and his lady on the left

The boys from From The Couch, and Matt Buckland on the left

The view from the window as the sun went down

The view from the window as the sun went down

Arrival at Bombay Bicycle Club (the 7-Eleven makes this pic so special)

Arrival at Bombay Bicycle Club (the 7-Eleven makes this pic so special)

Red carpet paparazzi razzle dazzle

Red carpet paparazzi razzle dazzle

One of my fav LBDs - Woolworths Studio W, ladies.

One of my fav LBDs - Woolworths Studio W, ladies.

Presenting Steri Stumpie work.

Presenting Steri Stumpie work.

Getting a T-shirt thanks to RSA web.

Getting a T-shirt thanks to RSA web (click for more)

Some chill time.

Some chill time.

Onto the minor details, I gave a talk that contextualised the Steri Stumpie work we’ve been doing. I tried to show the geeks just what goes into a good messaging campaign, and how social media can be used to enhance and drive home the message, rather than social media being the idea. Sounds very complex but is basically the exact opposite of ‘The Medium is the Message’ (sorry McLuhan), which was really just some catchy l’il viral mnemonic that spread around when tactical had just exploded onto the scene. Must  say congrats to Dave and Chris for organising a supremely awesome 27 Dinners. It rocked. PS. Red carpet photos courtesy of Brandon Golding.

get your money for nothing and your clicks for free

How agency-client negotiations would sound in real life:

got this little gem from JontyFisher (who’s being quoted all over the world these days..ahem ahem New York Times) . thanks dude. funny stuff. speaking of wanting something for nothing, i got the following email this morning (i kid you not):

Hey Alix.

Found your blog on 2oceans and I can dig it. My name’s Jonah* and I’m studying Marketing at Rhodes. What I really dig about your blog is the real-world insight it gives me into advertising and it has made me set that this is the career for me. I loved your article on trendspotters – classic! I have even come across trendspotters in Rhodes.

The reason I’m writing is I’m doing my thesis on How The Conversation Killed Advertising and was wondering if you could give me some pointers. I’m basically looking for businesses that are been using alternative media for their advertising campaigns rather than TV, radio, billboards etc. Basically businesses using facebook or youtube and such. Could you send me a write-up of your XXXXXXX Campaign? I heard it was a great success from reading some other marketing blogs, and one of my course tutors said he saw you speak at a short course he did. It doesn’t have to be long, point-form is fine, and include any relevant pictures. Thanks I’d appreciate it very much if you could oblige me. The first draft of my thesis is due at the end of June so if you could basically get it to me by the end of next week it would be fine.

Jonah*

*Name has been changed to prevent extreme ridicule.


~~~~~ He actually gave me a deadline. It’s too good. When I received this, I printed it out and rubbed it all over my face, letting the ink seep into my skin in an attempt to become *one* with the email. My reply: ~~~~~

Dear Jonah

Thank you so much for contacting me. I have heard about you – in fact, we as an industry have all heard about you and your talent, and are waiting with sweet anticipation for you to get your degree so that we might snap you up into our ranks where we have no doubt you will use your insight into non-traditional advertising to transform the industry.

I will begin my write-up on the XXXXXX campaign immediately. Basically, I have a host of deadlines going on, including writing rationales for my agency’s Loerie Awards Entries, which I will put on hold so that I can get to writing up the case study of the XXXXXX campaign. I will be sure to place all information in succinct prose where point form does not suffice, and will send an instruction to DTP immediately for them to resize all images from the campaign so that you are satisfied. Would you like me to courier over the disc with the information in it? Or would you prefer that I deliver the disc in person? Basically, I’d be honoured to be of service to you in any way. It’s my grandmother’s birthday this evening but I will happily cancel and drive through to the Eastern Cape to make sure you get all the information you might need.

Please don’t hesitate to let me know if there’s anything more I can do for you. I could offer to write your thesis for you, perhaps? I am a copywriter after all. Anything. You just basically let me know.

Yours in anticipation, basically,

Alex

voting special: MyBrandedVoteTM

Nandos work by Black River JHB (thanks @thecopyninja)

Nando's work by Black River JHB (thanks @thecopyninja)

Nando’s goodness (via 10and5), not forgetting this ad ripping of Julius Malema (head of the ANC Youth League, famous for using Hitler as inspiration for his personal brand).


That’s apparently done by a small agency called Stick. URL anyone? We’re still waiting for Julius Malema to ‘take militant action’ against Nando’s.  And then there’s this fantastic collection of election posters also at 10and5 (check it out, it’s hilarious) where you can see this ‘good shepherd’:

I need a hug.

"I need a hug."

and many many more, all here.


this one time (at brand camp)

We made hats and we lived the brand/

We made hats and we 'lived the brand'/

I’m going to go to brand camp
i’m going to room with my account manager
we are going to ‘break boundaries’
between creative and suits
we are going to make it about the work
we are going to live the brand (at brand camp)

we are going to catch each other
and build physical trust
that will translate into superior  advertising (Grand Clio Loerie Lion Prix)
happier volume-driven clients
and a richer boss with a better car (R8)
together
the brand will live through us (at brand camp)

going to go to brand camp
going to ‘overdo it a little’ at dinner
going to confide in my boss about how I went to therapy for cutting myself
and in the heat of the moment believe we have ‘transcended the system’
but just pretend it never happened in the morning
and sit on the opposite sides of the bus (leaving brand camp)

going to go away to brand camp
going to ‘workshop brand messaging’
and ‘redefine strategic parameters’
going to outline an ‘actionable plan’ with which to ‘penetrate the market’
going to draw a lot of diagrams on big white sheets of paper
and tear them off and stick them on the walls (at brand camp)

going to go away to brand camp
going to get flirty with someone inappropriate
and play down his marriage
so I can get a promotion, or just not get retrenched

going to go away to brand camp
going to find myself through the brand
going to live the brand
and let the brand live through me
going to discover myself at brand camp
that one time (at brand camp).

i’m a trendwatcher, you’re a trendwatcher.

Oh gawd not another one.

Oh gawd not another one.

ever feel annoyed when you’re getting out your car and some pesky guy comes over begging for ‘cool interesting stuff’ saying he’s a ‘trendwatcher’? i mean is it just me, or is every 2nd person on the street a trendwatcher these days? i was a trendwatcher once. but back then, nobody had heard of Demetri Martin. thecoolhunter didn’t exist. the internet was held together by Yahoo Tape. nobody but designers knew about ffffound. times have changed y’ulle. if you’ve got Google, you don’t need a trendwatcher to tell you what’s cool. in fact this site + this site = free cool stuff in your RSS feed 4 eva. now grow up and get a real job.

A company of trendwatchers.

A company of trendwatchers.

A freelance trendwatching consultant (be prepared to pay more $$)

A freelance trendwatching consultant (be prepared to pay more $$)

a feature of a feature

Check out Creatives on Twitter: The Strategy issue, where you can see a mildly confusing but good write-up of yours truly. 10and5 are the online, South African version of Creative Review. It also features The Gasping Man a.k.a Cafe Racer.

Good times @Loeries with Nicole and Dave. Miss ya Jupiters. xx

Good times @Loeries with Nicole and Dave. Miss ya Jupiters. xx

Enjoy.

Levi’s® Photography Search: A Case Study in using social media

I know y’ulle think I’m a brainless advertising chick who does nothing but upload hot pics of herself onto flickr and rub her breasts against her the glass of her creative director’s office, but it’s not completely true. They keep me around because every now and again, I prove to be quite useful. I wouldn’t go so far as to say:

“I’m the number 1 creative in South Africa,” like Paul Warner from Metropolitan Republic said in the March 09 issue of GQ (true story).

But I am handy because I know my way around facebook, an invaluable skill that has come in handy while we’ve been running a competition called The Search for the Levi’s® Photographer off onesmallseed.net, and it’s proved to be an insightful exercise in using social media to reach the right consumers.

The competition went live at the beginning of December 2008, and it was a call to South African photographers to come up with and submit their unique vision conveyed through a photographic treatment that would give the Levi Strauss brand a distinctive and relevant look. It came about because we were aware of the wealth of talent out there amongst local creatives, and we wanted to see whether we could discover someone fresh and inspiring to bring something special to the brand.

We got an amazing response – a total of 60 photographers shot and submitted images to be considered. We narrowed the entries down to a shortlist of 12 photographers, out of whom Capetonian Romi Stern was chosen as the winner.You can see the official winning announcement and the shortlisted photographers here.

The Search for the Levi’s® Photographer has been my (and King James’s) first big(ish) project using social media as the primary platform for communication and interaction with consumers, and it worked really well because onesmallseed.net is a creative community, therefore it was a natural place for us to reach photographers. We were able to interact with entrants and answer questions real-time, and tailor our interactions with them based on the feedback they gave us.

We did experience some glitches
– an auto-brief malfunction, and we completely underestimated the number of entries we’d get, so on the weekend of the competition deadline our mailbox was bouncing back entries and stressing out some very passionate photographers, but we managed to solve it in the end.

Needless to say, we are extremely chuffed with how it turned out, and we’re looking super forward to working with Romi this year.

thought for the day

Happy Friday Yulle.

Happy Friday Y'ulle.

feeling stale. going to reinvent myself as some form of trendy reflux.

reflux is in y’ulle! i know because i read a book by kreative missionary visionary dion chang and the title is trend flux 2009. so get stuffing your white rolls from woolies and your burgers and your strawberry pavlova (hey, not really sure what causes reflux as have never been pregnant before, but being pregnant is another trend – set by MIA / Gwen Stefani / Nicole Richie (choose your own psychographic role model, am not phased) – so expect an increase in ‘girls 4getting to take their pill oops’ – and ‘miracle pregnancies’ – “i WAS taking my pill! i promise!” and “fuck i got so drunk last night at Assembly that i forgot to take my pill“).

I went off my pill because it gives me cramps and its not natural. I am going to go drink at Gandalfs and then have sex with my friend and then masturbate after, just to really give those sperm a chance.

"I went off my pill because it gives me cramps and it's not natural. I am going to go drink at Gandalf's and then have sex with my random, lonely-as-me guy friend, and then masturbate after, just to really give those sperm a chance."

should i get pregnant? should i go off the pill because ‘it’s unnatural‘ and it ‘makes me bloated’ and ‘it makes me moody and fills my face with pimples’, even though it’s 2k9 now and yasmin was invented 10 years ago, so we all know girls who go off the pill are doing so only because they find the risk of getting pregnant when they have sex with their boyfriends / their best friends / their classmates at AFDA a turn on.

I cant come unless theres a possibility of me getting pregnant. - M.I.A? maybe Anon.

"I can't come unless there's a possibility of me getting pregnant." - M.I.A? maybe Anon.

has the possibility of getting pregnant ever turned you on? wish i could get pregnant and then donate the baby to a good cause. not sure if there are any good causes that need healthy babies. maybe someone should start a Replacement Workforce For All Those People Who Have Died And Will Die Of AIDS just so Telkom has someone to employ to throw a cog in their generator that they can blame when we exceed our power capacity in 20 years time.

********************************************************Got a bit off topic there********************************************

Back to Reflux and other things that will be hot in 2k9 (note i didn’t get these from the trend reflux book by Dion Change, i just got them off some arb website but it doesn’t matter because all trends came from the same arb mothership website):

Being classy. “Classism is the new racism”. Does this give me license to discriminate? Just want to be ‘trendy’ y’ulle. Just want ppl to know i am better than them through my ‘social badging‘ or my ‘exclusive knowledge of how brandy is made’. Apparently knowledge about products is the new social currency. Am going to google Apple just now and learn everything there is to know about Steve Jobs so i can make my friends feel bad about themselves.

Apple was invented in 70 BC as an alternative to the slabs that Moses wrote the 10 Commodors on, but there wasnt a market until 2 000 years later.

Fact #1: Apple was invented in 70 BC as an alternative to the slabs of stone that Moses wrote the 10 Commodores on, but there wasn't a market until 2 000 years later.

the 90s. the 90s is the new 80s. this would explain all the Kurt Cobain Converse floating around my mall home. yes, i live in a mall, y’ulle. malls are like the new ‘gated communities’ or ‘security complexes’. wonder what i can steal from the 90s to incorporate into my personal brand. shortlist: having ‘i’m blue da-ba-dee da-ba-da’ as my ringtone; wearing blue lipstick and humming ‘i’m blue da-ba-dee da-ba-da’ round the office; trading my black car in for a blue one and pumping ‘i’m blue da-ba-dee da-ba-da’ from the subwoofers. which one do y’ulle think best enhances my PB?

twitter goes mainstream. uh-ohs. this means an increase in ppl twittering about how drunk they got last night / how crazy last night was / what a f*cked up time they had last night / how they 4got to take their pill last night / how they are really enjoying ‘Through the Storm’ by Lynne Spears. quick, time to evacuate twitter. tell all your trendleader / thought pioneering friends. this ship is sinking. if you are mainstream, quick, sign up for twitter while humming ‘I will go down with this ship’ by 90s star Dido.

Tweep recovering from a hangover from her night at Assembly, wondering if shes pregnant.

Tweep recovering from a hangover from her night at Assembly, wondering if she's pregnant.

big government will be cool. guess we all have Obamalove to thank for this. wish we had an Obamalove. just so y’ulle don’t think i’ve given up the cause, i’m still emailing Kanye West trying to convince him to come and be President of SouthAfricanland as his next piece of ‘high art’. not sure whether this trend applies in safricanland. especially since the ruling party keeps smacktalking its own president. sigh. I wish America would buy us and then everything would be okay. not likely in these harsh economic times.

other arb things i think will be in (note: these are my hypotheses and do not come off some arb website):

– being a trendwatcher / trend guru / trend collaborator / trend consultant / marketing consultant / web2.0 consultant / iPhone 2.0 consultant. Basically if you can’t hack it in the real world, pick any one of the titles above and start a blog and you’ll be a- for away.

suicide. just coz money doesn’t matter any more. like queen said, nothing really matters, to me.

adopting a web celeb for your brand. feeding them. treating them to VIP consumer experiences. and then watching them blog about your brand. feels good, doesn’t it? tamagotchi 2.0.

falling pregnant ‘accidentally’. because of the rise of organic, females in their mid-twenties who have not yet completed degrees or found jobs will choose this option because they think it will give them more options. outwardly, they will say they have issues putting hormones into their bodies because it is ‘unnatural’ and non-organic. time for phramaceuticals to go organic.

britney spears. like she says, all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to F-U-C-K her (track 6, Circus). Parting thought:

All i wanna do is xxxx and xxx and take your monay.

Sing with me: "All i wanna do is xxxx and xxx and take your monay."

“when i grow up, wanna be famous, wanna be a star, wanna be in movies, wanna have boobies” – the tigercat dollfaces

but no movies here.

no castings. no expensive theatre school.

no obssessive, economy-driving celebrity culture.

no reality shows where i can take my clothes off.

no one to make a sex tape with to ‘launch my career’.

no retouchers to make me look hotter than i am.

no lecherous men with money to ‘discover’ me.

just savanna, the locally produced ‘it’s-dry-but-you-can-drink-it’ cider. who makes a site that lets me make my own ad. makes me dress up like a monkey. and garble nonsense. make your own savanna ad here. and watch mine below. it stars me as the monkey, jabu as the black guy and alistair as the barman.


do y’ulle think i should quit my dayjob? does this count as a demo tape? is it strong enough to be an acting / dancing portfolio? do you think it shows that i have potential to look hot in music videos, if they spray water on me to make me look like i’m sweating? do you think it shows off my toned, tanned body? could i be the next brutney spears / leona lewis / brian searle-tripp (local advertising pop star) / mike schalit (local advertising pop star)? does this give me mass appeal as opposed to simply appealing to a handful of marketing types and social media gurus?

need some feedback so i know where to take my career / what kind of headlines i should be writing / what kind of headlines i should be appearing in / whether i should just make a sex tape on my own and upload it onto vimeo and hope 4 the best.

i’m gonna add you. and then delete you. i’m gonna add you.

Strangers are just friends waiting to be met. Lets just be strangers.

Strangers are just friends waiting to be met. "Let's just be strangers".

today i’m going through my facebook friends list, and checking it twice. feel like some of your wide-angle profile pics aren’t really doing much for my reading pleasure. and now that marketing has reached glorious new heights, if i delete you, you’ll know. because i’m gonna get something out of deleting you. i’m gonna get a free burger. that’s right, a free burger.

Me and my best facebook friend. We have so much fun.

Me and my best facebook friend. We have so much fun.

it’s no big deal. we were never great friends anyway. i met you through a friend of a friend and you’d just read Hey Whipple and you thought we had soooo much in common. i accepted your friend request because i figured i might be able to use you for my own gain, some day. delete.

We had this amazing connection. Yeah. Its called the internet.

"We had this amazing connection." Yeah. It's called "the internet".

and it ain’t no thang with you either. we went to primary school together, back when it was still called ‘primary school’. i had a crush on you because i was limited for choice. now i see your insipid little face for what it is: white trash. delete.

Friendship is only real when the age gap is at least 15 years and you all sit on a bus together.

Friendship is only real when the age gap is at least 15 years and you all sit on a bus together.

as for you. i met you one night backstage at some band thing i was covering. back when i used to write for that cute little mag that liked to think of itself as a post-modern Rolling Stone. later that night you covered yourself in your own vomit. it’s the only thing we talk about, when i actually reply to your mails. delete.

Real friends like to get their digits stuck in finger traps for days (forces intimate conversation and sharing of living spaces, boyfriends, etc).

Real friends like to get their digits stuck in finger traps for days (forces intimate conversation and sharing of living spaces, boyfriends, etc).

and then of course, there’s you. i guess there was a time when i might have called you my ‘boss’. guess that was back before you revealed yourself to be a liar. you lied about the job description, you lied about company resources, you lied to your clients, and then you were caught plagiarising. real world’s a bitch. delete.

Youre not officially friends until you have an attic clubhouse where you can look at each others clothes and talk about having a yard sale.

You're not officially "friends" until you have an attic clubhouse where you can look at each others clothes and talk about having a yard sale.

hey. it’s you! we were best friends once. now we lurk around each other’s profiles, spying on each other’s friends, reading a little too much into everything. i still like you, though. you can stay.

Youre not friends until youre a band of white horses, running free and groovy through the electro orchards of contemporary Cape Town.

You're not friends until you're a band of white horses, running free and groovy through the electro orchards of contemporary Cape Town.

oh, but you. i don’t even know how i know you, though facebook says we have 15 friends in common. i don’t even know what you look like. you could be Sadam Hussein for all i know. but no. you are some arb with some arb name, polluting my news feed with your status updates and your photo tags and your notes. you send me requests to put me on your BFF birthday calendar, and you send me growing gifts. this isn’t healthy. i’m ending this for us. maybe some day our paths will cross and we will never even know that we were once fbook friends. until then, adieu. delete.

Were not friends until you adore me and carry me around.

We're not friends until you adore me and carry me around.

hey you. we once lived together, for a bit. we could have been best friends, but life – and a landlord – got in the way. every time i see your status i feel a little guilty because i should see you more. since i feel guilty about everything from putting an extra half spoon of sugar in my tea (bad G.I.) to not updating my blog to ignoring my phone on the odd Friday night (ok, every Friday night), i’m gonna scrape your name off my guilt platter, to give myself a break. love ya. delete.

Were not friends until we cross a cultural barrier and offend the people we love. So i can stroke your soft white feathers.

We're not friends until we cross a cultural barrier and offend the people we love. So i can stroke your soft white feathers.

oh, and you! we once worked together for that lame promo company. i was nice to you because everyone pretended to be nice to everyone. the truth is i think you’re bland, dull and gormless. delete.

*********************************************************2 more to go til burger time….******************************************

and then there is you, mr generic person who added me because all your friends added me. there’s no nice way to say this but…you’re lame. go tag a wall in Rondebosch or something. delete.

Were not friends until you take ambient shots of me with your Polaroid in your bedroom.

We're not friends until you take ambient shots of me with your Polaroid in your bedroom.

and lastly, we have you, friend of friends. you, who has not much else to talk about (not that we talk – by talk i mean ‘update your fbook status’) but how drunk you got last night. or how hungover you are this morning. it’s like being inside the Ground Hog Day of your Loser’s Complex. as fascinating as it is to read about how drunk you did / can / will / want to get, i’m sorry, it’s time for you to go now. delete.

Were not friends unless youre a little white bird that brings me dreams while i sleep.

We're not friends unless you're a little white bird that brings me dreams while i sleep.

and now. for my burger. mwah ha ha. see you in fbook hell, fuckers.


beating down the pop-ups

love this article on PSFK about how much of a non-event pop-up stores are. i’ve always thought pop-up stores were a pretty lame idea to begin with. unless you’re reinventing the whole shopping experience (which very few pop-up stores are doing) why would making a smaller version of your existing store convince consumers to buy product? unless you think your consumers are thtoopid? um…

A cheap imitation of the original experience.

Pop Up Stores: A cheap imitation of the original experience.

Film review: How to get ahead in Advertising. Excuse the weird code at the top. Don’t know wtf. Something to do with the font no doubt. There’s always something about the font. Sigh. Deciding to embrace it. Added a ‘Build character’ tag to this post.


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Watched ‘How to get ahead in advertising’ last night. Thought it would give me all sorts of handy tips and tricks, kind of like ‘Hey Whipple, Squeeze This’ did (the book, not the movie. Tho it would make a very useful movie). Tips like ‘Strike while the iron is hot’ which means you should write your headlines while you’re feeling inspired, or while you’re high on cocaine instead of making stupid conversation in the toilets at the agency xmas party.

Categorically incapable of Keeping It Real.

Richard E Grant: Categorically incapable of Keeping It Real.

I’m not sure my how my agency would respond to me writing headlines at the Christmas party. Think they might ostracize me for life. Good thing I don’t work at the kind of agency that encourages or perpetuates drug use. I don’t think I’d ever be naturally inspired to write headlines while at any kind of party.

They should have called the movie ‘How to get severely agitated by watching Richard E Grant get all crazy like he did in Withnail and I’. Because that would be a really accurate descriptor of what kind of take-out you can expect from the film.

Still from the movie Withnail and I, the prequel to How to get Ahead in Advertising.

Still from the movie Withnail and I, the prequel to How to get Ahead in Advertising.

They could have also called it ‘Representation of the pathetic dude at every party who never knows when to stop’ and ‘Character study of a self-obsessed alcoholic idiot who appeals to submissive females with no self-esteem who are suckers for any kind of eloquent opinion’ or even ‘Most unrealistic marriage ever’ or ‘If you know anyone in Advertising who takes their job this seriously, kick them in the face’. The script writer managed to miss a very basic truth. No matter how passionate a copywriter you may be, you are only making ads. Not art. Nothing that warrants the kind of fuss Richard E Grant made.

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Am really disappointed. There are so few Hollywood glamourisations of my career out there. I really thought this would inspire me to be the best copywriter I can be. Instead it made me want to phone my mother and tell her we’re not all like that. I also wanted to phone everyone I know and make amends, as if I had just realized the error of my ways via association.

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Zany and passionate and likes to hold eggs. Thats how passionate. And creative. And zany.

"So crazy I hold eggs."

It made me want to stop smoking, even though I already have stopped smoking. It made me fully comprehend the words “No one likes a know-it-all” really and truly, for the first time in my life. It made me want to think about never having an opinion on anything ever again.

It also made me draw Grant parallels. I thought about how Richard E Grant can only play one type of character, and how Hugh Grant can also only play one type of character. Then I generalized that that’s the case with most actors / actresses out there. Generalizing is always a good way to make ideas immediately relevant to you, yourself, because as I was sipping my first Vida e Double Mucho Meia de Leite Skinny Wet it occurred to me how it was prob true that most writers only have one style of writing ie. One type of character. So I feel inspired to work on my versatility. Gonna write some poems, some haikus, maybe a short story.

I’m gonna write love letters as if I was a grizzly bear in love. Not for versatility though, more because Mark asked me to do them for his Grand Daddy Bear-themed hotel room. Grawr. Snort. Ftttl.

Did no one tells Richard about staring too long into the abyss vibes and how it stares back? Think Richard E IS the abyss.

Did no one tell Richard about staring too long into the abyss vibes? Think Richard E IS the abyss.