Tag Archives: men

i want a man who gets together with his choir buddies and drinks brandy in tea cups before breaking into a solo. and if i didn’t want a man like that, i would want to BE a man like that.

big, f-ing NOT. but what the hell was klipdrift thinking? that they would make The Great South African Ad? that they would with one fell, swooping television disaster wreak havoc upon attitudes that judge a bunch of men singing songs and clutching teacups as lame? did they think they were going to Change History? i will eat my own hair – all of it – in front of the person who shows me any culture or subculture in the world that aspires to sing in a male choir and drink brandy in tea cups.

Nothing like a spot of brandy eh chaps? Toodle-loo!

Nothing like a spot of brandy eh chaps? Toodle-loo!

well, maybe i am being a little hasty. klipdrift could be starting a trend right under my nose. maybe i am being narrow-minded and ‘not open to new things’. maybe i ‘live under a rock’ and this is ‘what the men of today are vibing to’. it could very well be the case. living out here at the bleeding edge is almost like being a late majority laggard. on the bleeding edge the trends reach you so early you don’t even know they’re trends. same vibe on the laggard side except well… you get the picture.

This curves about facebook but youll find facebook in every trend so *shrug*

This curve's about facebook but you'll find facebook in every trend so *shrug*

“Never underestimate your audience. Most of the time they are smarter than you simply by virtue of the fact that they don’t give a shit about what you have to say.” – David Ogilvie

maybe i just have inherent issues with men harmonising. too many bishops eisteddfods will do that to you. sometimes i wake up sweating from a nightmare where four pubescent boys are serenading me alternately with Elton John and James. my boyfriend has had to unpick the sheets from my semi-epileptic claws. men should never harmonise, unless all men involved are Justin Timberlake.

would never be caught dead drinking anything out a teacup.

JT: would never be caught dead drinking anything out a teacup. 'cept maybe Grey Goose.

Question: what do you do when you have a boyfriend who makes dinner like this (on a regular basis. we’re talking just about every second night)?

Answer: you LOVE him. thanks Rei.

Nom to the max.

Nom to the max.

“I fell down a flight of refrigerators.”

now South African woman have their very own portal for uploading men who are asshats and warning other women about them.

donotdatehim.co.za got sent to me by a friend who is putting her ex on the site.

Dont Date Him.co.za

Don't Date Him.co.za

this is good because there are a lot of asshats out there preying on nice sweet ladies. of course there are asshat ladies out there preying on nice sweet guys but the guys must get their act together and get their own website. i have some A – Z tips on how to spot an asshat – the creative capetonians guide:

A is for Arty: Most arty dudes are asshats, especially the ones that LOOK arty from a 50 metres plus distance. Subtle arty detail means less narcissism, but generally you should stay away with men who have better / more creative hair than you do. Note if YOU are arty this does not nec apply since you are probably also not a very nice character and very into yourself in which case you will probably make a good asshat couple who pains everyone but yourselves, then you can coccoon as a couple and not bother other people.

B is for Big: like, Really Big. If a man looks like he spends a lot of time making his muscles huge (legally or illegally) chances are he’ll use them any chance he gets, even if that chance is to teach you a lesson for asking why he can’t clean the steroid syringe after he’s used it.

– C is for Claws. A man who has lobster claws for hands probably can’t be trusted. I don’t speak with any experience here, but I once watched a documentary called South Park about Crab People, and let me tell you, they look like they could do some damage to a woman.

That is all i have time or attention for. You can complete the rest.