Tag Archives: products

is diabetes the new roboraptor? most wanted gift this christmas?

i find this a little weird but i guess if i was diabetic i would want to use the same thing that monitors my blood sugar levels as someone who is good-looking and famous. because if it doesn’t work for them you will know. here one of the jonas brothers gets his endorsement deal on with a Bayer product (hey i use Bayer vitamins in the form of Cal-C-Vita and Supradyn so i a way i feel close to nick jonas):

Making diabetes cool. Like when the cool kids at school got bracesi wanted braces, even though i had perfect teeth. Guess im grateful now LOL.

Like when the cool kids at school got bracesi wanted braces.

rad hey? makes you want to phone Discovery and ask whether this rad Bayer thing is covered in chronic. i feel inspired by this jonas-bayer brand sharing collaboration, and am considering writing a song about what it’s like to have high cholesterol (pity they don’t make fancy pocket testers. a pocket test for cholesterol is just a tapemeasure or the jeans test – when you sit down does your belly roll over your jeans? then your cholesterol is probably high). also considering offering myself to the heart foundation as a cholesterol ambassador. they could play the song i write on the tv commercials where everywhere is carrying their plush toy hearts around.

wonder how my song would go. maybe something like:

even though i’ve got a hot body

got a genetic condition from my daddy

means my arteries are a little fatty

so i gotta take pills, pills, pills

to stop from gettin ill, ill, ill

gotta watch what i eat

gotta stay on my feet and take

pills, pills, pills

You can grow your own cholesterol by eating lots of McDonalds or Crush. Dont be scared - Crush appears healthy but is actually highly fatty and processed.

Many great songs have been written bout living with cholesterol for eg. this bon jovi classic.

want: ghost lamp

BoooOOOOoooooOOOOoooo for me. No Ikea here.

BoooOOOOoooooOOOOoooo for me. No Ikea here.

boy am i sick of seeing objects i would like to buy and feather my home with from ikea. it happens at least once a week. not always from Ikea, but often. with globalililililisation and all, shouldn’t anything we can conceive of here in South Africa be available to us? is the unavailability of cool stuff like Ghost Lamp because of the recession? or are we still paying double for Horlicks here compared to what you pay in the rest of the world because Horlicks thinks us Southafricanlanders don’t know the price of a bag of malt? isn’t the price of malt the only thing that HASN’T gone up? this sounds like a case for the Mothman Prophecy.

What good is a President if he cannot negotiate cheaper retail prices for Horlicks?

What good is a President if he cannot negotiate cheaper retail prices for Horlicks?

I must say, a few weeks on into the new presidency and i feel optimistic about Southafricanland politics. it must be noted that this is not something I thought i’d ever write, but every time i look at that picture of our new prez, i feel happy. his glasses say ‘caring father figure who knows how to balance the books with enough left over to hire his daughter some fake paparazzi for her Matric Dance at Crawford College‘. that comforts me.

dear santa clause (friends, family, associates, colleagues, people who want to impress me)


this frikkin rad ghost towel. you can buy it here. don’t be afraid of shopping online, it’s all going to be okay.


the nintendo wii will buy you my unconditional loyalty for about 6 months. includes me picking up your phonecalls every single time you call. you can get it at Musica, Look & Listen, those types of places. If you’re looking to add2 months to that deal you can throw in a game (Wario Ware, Harry Potter).

a pair of these Ray Ban Wayfarers will get you a place on my facebook friends list, with at least 1 wall post a month that somehow glorifies me and makes you look cool. white frames also accepted.


any kind of artwork from kronk.


The world’s most expensive Christmas cocktail, called ‘The Flawless’ which comes at a mere £35,000 a glass from Modiva nightclub in London. Described as “warming and refreshing, but that is not the main reason for the exorbitant cost: at the bottom of the crystal glass is an 11-carat white diamond ring.”

Sounds good to me.

Next on the list is Pleo. See post above for more details.


To be continued.