Tag Archives: south africa

Should I sue myself for not buying myself a ghd sooner?

Okay. Every once in a while, I experience something that prompts me to ‘drop that stupid, irritating voice’ i use to write on my blog and ‘just get real’. The ghd Style Lounge – which i was privileged enough to attend on Friday evening – is one such brand activation which has prompted such drastic action. In all seriousness – “srsly y’all” – this event blew my mind. “O RLY?” i hear you say. “Howcome y’ulz?” I hear you say. I’ll attempt to do justice to the sheer delight that was having my makeup done by Benefit, my hair styled by 2 ghd Angels, then being styled by Accessorize and being given a remote control with which to shoot myself. Not in the foot, but on an infinity curve that had been set up, “just like a real-life photo shoot”. Oh my word. Oh my hat.

Firstly, the venue was just amazing. Roodebloem Studios in Woodstock, for those interested:

A magical wonderland.

You walked in, were greeted with a glass of Krone and a Vitamin Water, and then you went and waited with sumptuous snacks until a Benefit artist could start doing your makeup.

Sumptuous snacky treats.

Sumptuous snacky treats.

Waiting area.

Delicious product display.

More delicious product display.

Benefit's Beauty Bootcamp

The Result: Makeup by Benefit

Once you got your makeup did, you had a little more Krone before heading over to the Style Stations (see above) to have your hair done by 2 lovely ghd Angels. Since my hair is naturally straight, I asked for them to ‘get a l’il zany y’ulz’ and give me some curls and, most importantly, show me how to make curls with a ghd (Creation Mist, Hold Spray, Obedience cream and…go!). This really was revelatory to me – I had no idea you could curl with an iron. “Srsly y’ulz” – no idea.

A before photo: hair is still untouched.

Hair: a work in progress

No hair “After” pic yet because those were a part of the shoot we had on location, but I’ll upload them as soon as I get them. Once hair got did, we were taken in hand by a stylist who added a little something special to the look we were creating, to make us a little more ‘shoot ready’.

Accessories! Yay!

Getting styled. Glove love.

And then I was given the top 2 ghd products to suit my hair as recommended by one of the ghd Angels.

Miracle mist and obedience cream.

In the words of my blog:

“Srsly y’ulz – should I sue myself for not buying a GHD sooner?”

Check out all the pics from the other ghd Style Lounge activations here on facebook, or at the ghd Style Diary. PS. Benefit makeup can only be bought at Woolworths. Anyone looking to ‘treat me for xmas y’ulz’, hit me up with one of their fab products.

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My latest business venture

Y’ulz, I am an entrepreneur. Did y’ulz know that? Sometimes I can’t ‘touch you’ via blogging because I am ‘running this town tonight’.

N E wayz…


I hav a dream. And that dream is to cre8 my vry own facebook appy. It will be called FUCKVILLE, and its appeal is quite logical y’all. Basically, various small, lonely animals will wonder in and out of your fbook profile, and you will be offered the chance 2 ‘fuck them’.

A screenshot of how the average user will interface with Fuckville.

What do y’als think? Am basically pitching it to my VC bros as ‘the ultimate facebook app, a rollercoaster ride of sex, sheep and fuckery’. Think it’ll be a hit y’ulle? Am going to do a spot market research poll (for my FLYSWAT analysis later, pls leave your answer as a comment):

Will FUCKVILLE be a hit appy?

a) You’re a fucking genius Alex. Fucking fuck.

b) Of course it will. You can make an app out of anything and the laggards on the facebook adoption cycle will lap it up because they’re lower middle-class worker ants who drive third-hand hatchbacks and aspire to being head supervisor at the forklift company and playing Fuckville will allow them to ‘take back their time’ (via looking like they’re working)

c) No ways. Fucking sheep is sooooo 2000-and-late

d) If you release this app into the armies of spammy app-lapping tards on facebook I will kill myself and leave this blog post open on my laptop so ppl know why I did it.

e) There is already an app like this, except they call ‘fucking’ “farming”. Perhaps the similarity is intentional?


Appreciate your help on my individual journey to entrepreneurial greatness. If you would like the once-in-a-lifetime chance 2 be a part of this ‘sure thing’ y’als can drop me a comment telling me the top 5 ‘animals people like 2 fuck’ & I will get back 2 you based on the acumen displayed in your insights. Thanks 4 helping me ‘work night and day’ 2 make the internet ‘a more fun place’ for y’ulz.

WHAT IS THIS?

Y’ulz, went to Milnerton on the weekend. Was rly scary. Y’all ever been there? Wish someone had warned me. Went to “go fetch my ID book which was stolen 1.5 years ago and was found by an old lady in a Reader’s Digest in the pensions office in Milnerton”. Is that not the biggest mindfuck? Read it again: Went to “go fetch my ID book which was stolen 1.5 years ago and was found by an old lady in a Reader’s Digest in the pensions office in Milnerton”.

Mind. Fuck.

This is Milnerton. Frightening.

But more frightening even than this, is this THING I found. WHAT IS THIS? Found it outside the guest house next door to On The Rocks Restaurant. Thought it might be some Halloween fun but there was no reference to Halloween near it. Seriously y’ulz. WHAT IS THIS?:

Is it a tokoloshe? A "Zulu Orc"?

Let’s take a closer look.

WHAT IS THIS???

WHAT IS THIS???

I need to lie down.

sponsoratized post: MiMoney helps me experience ‘being just rich’

So MiMoney sent me a R500 voucher to spend on something nice so that I could get a feel for how it works y’ulz. Tested it out on the 2 things I mostly order on the interwebs, sex and prescription drugs. Kidding. Ordered 2 books from Kalahari.net that i’ve been wanting for ages: Rainer Maria Rilke’s ‘Letters to a young poet’ (recommend reading it if y’ulz are ‘cre8ive’ and ppl give you shit for it) and Jung’s ‘Memories, Dreams, Reflections’ (is Jung’s autobiography, recommend reading it if y’ulz ‘know too much about the world’ & ppl give you shit for it). They arrived this morning. Happy times y’all!

Oooh, a package. What could it be?

Oooh, a package. What could it be?

Just what Ive always wanted!

Just what I've always wanted!

Happy times.

Happy times.

Also, after having a day when I thought it might be ‘better to be just rich’ than to ‘be creative’ i went home and gorged on sushi from Mr Delivery that MiMoney also paid for (thereby giving me the opportunity to know what ‘being just rich’ feels like). My verdict is that ‘being just rich’ ‘totally rocks’, and that ‘being creative’ needs to work harder at ‘bringing its A-game’ to the task of ‘making my life awesome’.

How MiMoney works:

1. You register with www.mimoney.co.za

2. You purchase MiMoney vouchers which then get sent to your phone.

3. You then use your vouchers as cash, quoting the code sent to your phone when you need to pay for a movie, online order, dinner, or whatever else you want to pay for. Right now it’s a little limiting as to what you can buy, but in future you’ll be able to use your MiMoney everywhere, thereby eliminating the need for cumbersome 19th century trappings such as ‘wallets’ and ‘money’.

Read what kalahari has to say about MiMoney here (putting this link in because app the mimoney site is giving some trouble).

Pre-Loeries Panic Attack #1

Uh-oh yulz. Is Loerie Awards in less than a month. In dire panic mode. Don’t have a dress. Don’t even have a designer to dress me yet. Am up a shitty cove with a creaky paddleboat in a stormdrain. Haven’t even started thinking about possible sponsored alcoholic beverage of choice for the night.

Just want people to see me as feminine yet casually cool, too.

Just want people to see me as feminine yet casually cool, too.

So much to worry about. So much to organise. Need to slip pair of Nike soles into my 9-West Choo-fakes so I can ‘go 4 miles if u kno wot I mean’. Need to organise small bag of miscellaneous white powder so can appear ‘authentically wasted’ if pulled over by the police. Must line-up strategic opportunities to be photographed ‘pushing cleavage’ / ‘getting spanked by male bosses while making an O with my mouth’ / in classic ‘whoo-hoo’ pose plus devil-horn hand-signals.

We are having sooooo much fun! Its the Loeries! Partay!

We are having sooooo much fun! It's the Loeries! Partay!

Whoo hoo!

Whoo hoo!

Must make sure iPhone is charged so can take repetitive photos of me and my 5-person ad clique over and over with an arty LOMOHOLGA filter that I can desaturate after and clog up everyone’s newsfeeds on facebook with. Must think of a zanier and louder Loerie Gimmick than a vuvuzela so Jupiter doesn’t have the crazy-spirit-monopoly at the actual event (miss u Jupiter).

Getting ready to party.

Getting ready to party.

Getting our party on at the awards. What a blast!

Getting our party on at the awards. What a blast!

Doing the SIngle LAdies dance at 3am! Dont tell my mommy!

Doing the SIngle LAdies dance at 3am! Don't tell my mommy!

We are like sooooo wasted in this pic! Cant remember having it taken!

We are like sooooo wasted in this pic! Can't remember having it taken!

Mmmm eggs yes please! Might as well keep on drinking!

Mmmm eggs yes please! Might as well keep on drinking!

Does anyone know where I can buy fake vomit 2 smear on my halter-neck top so my industry peers can ‘take me srsly’? Would make myself puke but kind of ‘worried about my teeth’.