Tag Archives: south african advertising

How should I tell people about my Loerie finalists?

Hey y’ulz. Been quiet because I like to build up a little anticipation. Plus I have this new job working for free as an intern running a social media campaign for some big brand (because I was cheaper than that social media guru who ppl think is ‘out to make a quick buck’).

Anyway, got some Loerie finalists and was wondering how I can tell everyone I know about my Loerie finalists without coming across as complete fucking tard. Though call. Basically these are my options:

1. tell my boyfriend / best friend via private msg and hope they post a ‘CONGRATZ ON UR LOERIE FINALISTS’ post on my fbook wall / twitter / blog

2. pretend to be disappointed and tweet ‘only got 20 Loerie finalists am soooo bummed was aiming for 35 FML want 2 die’ and  wait for the ‘wow that’s amazing what’s wrong with you, you over-achiever’ comments to fly

3. update my facebook status to read: “Alex hopes her Loerie finalists convert but is ultimately happy because she has done some really good, solid advertising this year, which is what it is all about, ultimately. Thank you Jesus.”

4. Congratulate everyone I know on their finalists on Twitter in the hope that they will say ‘Did you get any finalists’ to which I can reply ‘Oh, not many, just 20. But whatever, holding thumbs you win!’

5. Loudly say stuff like ‘fuck awards, what a joke, how can you measure something that doesn’t matter, sales are all that count, we exist to sell PRODUCT’, in the hopes that someone will say ‘Did you get any Loerie finalists?’ at which I can say, ‘You shouldn’t care, me getting 20 finalists means fucking NOTHING, awards mean NOTHING, fuck this, BST* was right all along.’ (I should also pretend to be drunk and embittered with the world to pull this off effectively and really drive home how much of a fuck I don’t give)

6. Tell my mom and wait for her to tell everyone via making ‘mom-comments’ on my lame fbook profile pic

7. Act like a ‘happy advertising ingenue’ and pretend to be genuinely excited about getting Loerie finalists, clap my hands and dance around the studio and tweet about it

8. Post a lot of crap on my blog about ‘Loerie gimmicks’

9. Forward this post to ppl I know in the hopes that they ask me if I got any finalists (by ‘me’ here I mean ‘you’)

10. Attempt suicide in the agency bar and leave a note with the number of finalists on it

11. Sleep with the same number of colleagues as Loerie finalists I have and make cryptic referrals to ‘my magic number’

12. Not tell people. Be a big girl. ‘Finalists aren’t Loeries’, after all.

Will have to weigh up my options. Will maybe make my way through them in order of me thinking of them. Methodical and thorough. How did y’all tell people about how many Loerie finalists you got without coming across like a complete fucking tard?

*BST = Brian Searle Tripp, local advertising popstar

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why is vodacom’s Summer Loving ad such a success?

All the boys and all the girls want to If You Seek Amy.

"All the boys and all the girls want to If You Seek Amy."

because deep down inside, every woman wishes she was Sandy, and every guy wishes he was the character that John Travolta played. Danny? deep stuff. consumer insight 101. makes me want to reconsider what strategy means to me. sometimes i think strategy – a process put in place to safeguard a brand’s image – can inflict some sort of body dysmorphia on the brand it’s supposed to be working for.

i’ll bet the vodacom meerkat was right on strategy, even though it destroyed a nation’s hopes and dreams, stole our collective democratic innocence and obliterated our basic understanding of what separates right from wrong. sometimes i think we should do a little less thinking and building of complicated charts and do a little more feeling. a little more basic observations. a little more ‘duh’.

How to tell if you’re in control of strategy ie. strategy is not in control of you:

Place the word ‘duh’ behind your observations / positioning statements / SWAT analyses / consumer promise. if the sentence makes sense, then you’re in control of strategy, not the other way round. for example:

Statement 1: Everyone wants to be Sandy and Danny in Grease. Duh. Brilliant. Makes complete sense.

Statement 2: Consumers do not know what they need until you tell them they need it to assauge their lack of brand alignment with target focus of the specified demographic that the product fulfills like no other. Duh. Makes no sense at all.

You could hide the lack of sense making in a strategic diagram or chart. This is a dark art. Does anyone know who the hippest strat chart producer is at the moment? Success of your chart depends very much on whether your powerpoint producer is flavour of the month. my advice to you would be to insist on working with ‘the Timbaland of .ppt’ and accept no less. there is no point in compromising when it comes to charts. you’ve got to ask yourself whether you want to play in the big leagues or not.

Does this make you feel alive? Blame it on the boogie.

Does this make you feel alive? Blame it on the boogie.

CiBiPi - i think ive found the name for my new electro label.

CiBiPi - i think i've found the name for my new electro label.

My brain is round and swirly like a shell. I am smart, you should do everything i tell you to do.

My brain is round and swirly like a shell. I am smart, you should do everything i tell you to do.

I have used a lot of green because i love animals.

I have used a lot of green because i love animals.

This last chart contains the secrets to the universe. Do not let it get into the hands of those who cannot control their powers ie. Sylar.

This last chart contains the secrets to the universe. Don't show Sylar.

wow. totally got distracted by some riveting charts. i was thinking of blowing a few of these up to A2 and getting them block mounted in my house. anyway, well done to whomever made the decisions on Summer Loving. that police lady shaking her boobies was the best thing to happen to my TV since i stopped watching TV way back in the late nineties.

christmas party pressure. so much pressure to be clever and funny.

Executive Creative Director sent this mail around yesterday:

It seems people are taking the Christmas theme of dressing up as your favourite singer and/or band very literally. You are, of course, very welcome to put on a wig and short skirt and come as Tina Turner, or wear nothing but black and come as Johnny Cash or Roy Orbison, or get 3 friends and come as ABBA. But here are some thought starters on how to be a little less obvious:

Put a flashing blue light on your head and come as The Police.

You could wrap yourself in a black refuse bag and come as Garbage.

You could dress like James and come as James. Duh.

You could strap a Radio to your head and come as Radiohead.

Two of you girls could come naked with a stuffed springbok under your arm. Yep, you got.

You could get a friend, one of you dress in white, one in black, and come as Salt ‘n Pepa. Even better if you each drilled holes in your head.

We don’t however want anyone coming as The Strokes, ok?.

Good luck.

Over and Out.”

Feeling rly worried that i don’t come up with the smartest costume. Especially since I’m a copywriter and supposed to be strong on concept. Supposed to have a brain for strategy, but what if i’ve just got a brain for wanting to look hot at the Christmas party and dress up like Amy Winehouse because i have as much if not more hair than her. And if i have more than 1 drink (not likely, given brand dilemma) it’ll just look like i’m in character?

Dance floors heating up. Time for the speech about how our agency needs to give an extra 10 %.

Dance floor's heating up. Time for the speech about how our agency needs to give an extra 10 %.

Agency Christmas parties are always big on the pressure like this. See, it all depends on what tribe you belong to within the agency. the PR chicks will make any theme an excuse to dress like slaggy whores. you could make the theme ‘Potato Sack’ and they would put ripped fish nets under the potato sack and cut the sack really short.

Client service are kind of similar. you get those client service chicks who essentially come as themselves and then put a flower in their hair and say they are Madonna in that one video where she had a flower in her hair because they are so scared of not looking hot.

You can count on the events company getting pretty zany, since they go to so many parties and have seen every costume under the sun they will very often have access to the best rental places.

But if you’re in creative, there’s big pressure. Big pressure to make some sort of visual pun, to make people work out what you are. Sigh. Thinking of sticking to my original plan and going as crazy britney. really miss those days of hers. Made me feel really together, like a lifestyle brand as opposed to a niche electro label. Gotta keep innovating, I guess.

Should have been a copywriter not a pop star.

Should have been a copywriter not a pop star.

Need a device like a pink wig to warn ppl im on the rag.

Need a device like a pink wig to warn ppl i'm on the rag.

Test-driving a car im about to write radio ads for.

Test-driving a car i'm about to write radio ads for.

Pulling another all nighter. Need the Bull.

Pulling another all nighter. Need the Bull.

not sure i can take this whole ‘dress up as your favourite band/singer’ brief srsly unless there’s some sort of award going. can someone phone Arlene Donnenberg and ask her if we can get cre8ive circle points for highly conceptual and original xmas party costumes? scared i use up my mental desktop thinking of awesome outfits and don’t have any left for award-winning ideas. what if ideas like are the eggs in your ovaries? as in, are you born with a set amount and once you’ve used them all up they’re gone? can i get my ideas cryogenically frozen, that way if i need an idea when i’m over the age of 35 i can use the ones i stowed away in my youth? is it true that older women have ideas with higher IQs than younger women?

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“Always use christmas parties as an opportunity to show your Creative Director that you are one crazy m*otherf*cker by taking off your top and flashing your breasts. That way he won’t think twice about sending the potentially award-winning new media tactical brief your way next time management has a status meeting at Vida.” – Bill Bernbach

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