Hey y’ulz. Been quiet because I like to build up a little anticipation. Plus I have this new job working for free as an intern running a social media campaign for some big brand (because I was cheaper than that social media guru who ppl think is ‘out to make a quick buck’).
Anyway, got some Loerie finalists and was wondering how I can tell everyone I know about my Loerie finalists without coming across as complete fucking tard. Though call. Basically these are my options:
1. tell my boyfriend / best friend via private msg and hope they post a ‘CONGRATZ ON UR LOERIE FINALISTS’ post on my fbook wall / twitter / blog
2. pretend to be disappointed and tweet ‘only got 20 Loerie finalists am soooo bummed was aiming for 35 FML want 2 die’ and wait for the ‘wow that’s amazing what’s wrong with you, you over-achiever’ comments to fly
3. update my facebook status to read: “Alex hopes her Loerie finalists convert but is ultimately happy because she has done some really good, solid advertising this year, which is what it is all about, ultimately. Thank you Jesus.”
4. Congratulate everyone I know on their finalists on Twitter in the hope that they will say ‘Did you get any finalists’ to which I can reply ‘Oh, not many, just 20. But whatever, holding thumbs you win!’
5. Loudly say stuff like ‘fuck awards, what a joke, how can you measure something that doesn’t matter, sales are all that count, we exist to sell PRODUCT’, in the hopes that someone will say ‘Did you get any Loerie finalists?’ at which I can say, ‘You shouldn’t care, me getting 20 finalists means fucking NOTHING, awards mean NOTHING, fuck this, BST* was right all along.’ (I should also pretend to be drunk and embittered with the world to pull this off effectively and really drive home how much of a fuck I don’t give)
6. Tell my mom and wait for her to tell everyone via making ‘mom-comments’ on my lame fbook profile pic
7. Act like a ‘happy advertising ingenue’ and pretend to be genuinely excited about getting Loerie finalists, clap my hands and dance around the studio and tweet about it
8. Post a lot of crap on my blog about ‘Loerie gimmicks’
9. Forward this post to ppl I know in the hopes that they ask me if I got any finalists (by ‘me’ here I mean ‘you’)
10. Attempt suicide in the agency bar and leave a note with the number of finalists on it
11. Sleep with the same number of colleagues as Loerie finalists I have and make cryptic referrals to ‘my magic number’
12. Not tell people. Be a big girl. ‘Finalists aren’t Loeries’, after all.
Will have to weigh up my options. Will maybe make my way through them in order of me thinking of them. Methodical and thorough. How did y’all tell people about how many Loerie finalists you got without coming across like a complete fucking tard?
*BST = Brian Searle Tripp, local advertising popstar