Tag Archives: stereotypes

Am I stuck in the 90s?

Hey yulz. Been feeling down lately. Been worried that I am ‘stuck in the 90s’. The other day was driving and saw a Calvin Klein orgy billboard and it ‘appealed to my sensibilities’ and ‘spoke to my aspirations of being a liberal individual who is also hot’, which planted the seed of worry.

Then I walked past Ed Hardy at the waterfront and actually considered ‘paying money to look like some trashy slut’ who digs rhinestones and skulls and tattoo-vibes, which is when the warning bells really kicked in.

A picture of class.

A picture of class.


Then, as I was perusing this season’s handbags, I almost dropped 1k on a piece of shit Guess handbag, because I momentarily forgot the rules.

How to smell rich.

How to smell 'rich'.

Then I experienced an urge to ‘push social boundaries’ by being free-spirited and zany and ‘experimenting with social taboos’ by sleeping with all my friends (guys and girls). Was a low point. Might as well drench myself in CK1 and put Nevermind on repeat.

Anyone got a vial of blood I can wear round my neck? Is 4 my image.

Anyone got a vial of blood I can wear round my neck? Is 4 my image.

Then sat at home and felt crap about myself, and decided that I need bigger boobs, which sent me spiralling, because if anything is soooo last decade, it’s big boobs. Mother of god.

Big Boobs. Not renowned for dating well.

Big Boobs. Not renowned for dating well.

And then came the last straw: I was catching up on the mandatory morning reading and saw that Britney had died her hair dark again, and I wondered if I should exclaim loudly about how much I hate her. Maybe subject a few innocent colleagues to my opinions about ‘how dumb Britney is’. Which was when I realised it: I am stuck in the 90s.

Britney-hating: the ultimate 90s opinion.

Britney-hating: the ultimate 90s opinion.

Feel very down. Can’t believe I thought I was a child of the new millennium. Thought I was original and intellectual and free-spirited and one-of-a-kind and ‘unique’. Thought that people ‘see something different and special’ in me because I go against the social grain and ‘cannot be controlled’. But now I realised I’m just a retard loser stuck in the 90s. FML.

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Psychographic profile: I am a GirlJock

Wish I could be in High School for ever. Might go back and coach Girls soccer.

Wish I could be in High School for ever. Might go back and coach Girls' soccer.

I am a GirlJock
In high school my identity was defined by my place in the hockey team
And my place at the sidelines of every ‘big game’ that ‘my’ boys played
And not much has changed except now
I am allowed to drink (legally)
And Thank god (I mean that, I am Christian, Anglican in fact),
because drinking is probably the biggest part of my identity today.

Just another AMAZING NIGHT OUT  with one of my BEST FRIENDS.

Just another AMAZING NIGHT OUT with one of my BEST FRIENDS.

I am a GirlJock
I have over 1000 friends on facebook
All of them love me because I am the life of the party
I am always smiling
There are over 1000 photos on facebook of me smiling
I have sooooo much fun
With all my friends who love my smile
We have so much fun because we are sooooo pissed
We get up to soooooo much craziness at the game / the ball / the girlz night out / the J&B Met
When we get together
And get pissed

Hey such great times at the Met. I 3 the Met, its my best.

Hey such great times at the Met. I ❤ the Met, it's my best.

I am a GirlJock
All my friends wish they were me
Even the hot skinny blonde ones
Even though I can’t shake the extra weight I carry around
(it’s because of my drinking, but who cares what you look like when you can party!)
but being overweight doesn’t stop like, a million guys being my best friend
I have soooooo many guy friends
I am in love with like, all of them, but I’ll never risk telling them because
“I don’t want to ruin the friendship”
though I am actually scared they will reject me
because I am not at my ‘ideal weight’
but I keep ordering another drink hoping that
we will be sooo pissed and end up kissing on the dancefloor / at the rugby
and it will turn into something meaningful

I 3 him so much it hurts.

I ❤ him so much it hurts.

I am a GirlJock
I studied whatever my older brother studied
And in some ways, I think my older brother is my soul mate
He said I should have been HeadGirl of my highschool
And I totally agree with him
**SMOOCHIESS!!!**
We are the best of friends
4 ever

My brother and I are very close.

My brother and I are very close.

I am a GirlJock
I am highly sociable and am able to be ‘friends with everyone’ (it actually says that on my CV)
Even the zany little creative people
Who don’t work at my accounting firm and claim to ‘hate rugby’ (cute!)
I am a GirlJock
Can’t wait for the weekend
So I can get soooo pissed and partay with like, all my millions of friends
And take photos and post them on facebook
So everyone can see how much fun I am
And how awesome my life is.

Hangovers R us. We are sooo crazy.

Hangovers R us. We are sooo crazy.

I am a GirlJock.

Psychographic Profile: I am a copywriter.

Take me seriously, pls. - copywriter

"Take me seriously, pls." - a copywriter

I am a copywriter.
I am just doing this for now, until I
finish my book / record my album / someone picks up on my blog and makes me a presenter on a travel show.
I can do many things besides write
I subject my friends to my guitar / singing / painting / surfing
But I can’t do anything quite as well as I can write
Which is half a disappointment
And half a point of pride.

Wish I didnt know so much about the nature of humanity. - a copywriter

"Wish I didn't know so much about the nature of humanity." - a copywriter

I am a copywriter
I can quote chunks out of cult movies and books by Paul Arden
I update my favourite books on facebook
(Unlike journalists, I love Margaret Atwood because I never studied English at university)
I didn’t really study much at all but
I have a know-it-all air about me which some people love
And some people hate
But I’m not here to make friends
And I don’t get lonely
Because I don’t really like people very much
Because I ‘know too much about the world’.

Were all just monkeys. - A copywriter

“We’re all just monkeys.” – A copywriter

I am a copywriter
I never finish any of the expensive notebooks I buy
Sometimes I don’t start the new ones
Even though I buy a new one like, twice a month
Some of them look real pretty but are difficult to write in
Because they are almost too pretty
(I will basically find a million different excuses for why I can’t write, unless
I’m writing to a brief).

Just trying to think the opposite of whatever Im thinking. - a copywriter

"Just trying to think the opposite of whatever I'm thinking." - a copywriter

I am a copywriter
I am my own worst enemy
I am brimming with potential
But all I can do is get drunk / stoned / eat takeout until I’m sedated
while I ignore my phone and the doorbell
And watch mini series
And talk about ‘how well they are written’.

Im going to make myself some tea and then get a solid chapter in. - a copywriter

"I'm going to make myself some tea and then get a solid chapter in." - a copywriter

I am a copywriter
Deep down inside I really believe I can solve the world’s problems
(I could even be the president)
Even though I can’t quit smoking 20 cigarettes a day
Nor can I quite shake that weird neurosis I developed as a teenager that my parents are too embarrassed to bring up
So we all pretend it wasn’t  real.

A copywriters dog.

A copywriter's dog.

I am a copywriter
I type a lot so my colleagues think I am working
I annoy my art director because I type loud
Because I type hard
But I’m mostly commenting on forums / blogging / microblogging on twitter / skyping other copywriters
Chatting about my plans to finish my book / record my album / get my blog ‘out there’

Some day the world will see me for the genius I am. - a copywriter

"Some day the world will see me for the genius I am." - a copywriter

I am a copywriter
But just for now.

Psychographic Profile: I am in LOVE with great ideas.

Hi, I’m a creative who works in advertising
My work is mediocre – not bad, but not amazing –
but I often miss my deadlines
so I have invented this crazy zany advertising persona
(I’m a meta-creative)
so people think I am an advertising genius.
I talk a lot about how much I love ideas,
I talk about how technology excites me and
how ‘most clients just don’t get it’.
When I go for interviews, I pretend that money doesn’t matter
because I ‘live and breathe ideas’.
Some ppl are fooled
Some are not
Just gotta take your chances.

Imaginising a great idea.

Imaginising a great idea.

I am a crazy-idea-obsessed-imaginator
I recently discovered the internet so
I spend a lot of time talking really loudly about programs and sites that most people already know about
but I am so loud that everyone who doesn’t know about them
thinks that I discovered them first.
I like to pick a controversial opinion
and subject people to it at every opportunity
doesn’t matter what it is
just as long as I am disseminating my opinions
that I read on some marketing blog
somewhere.

I.am.exploding.with.creativity.

I.am.exploding.with.creativity.

I am a zany imaginationista
I have a blog about ideas that I started 3 years ago
I haven’t posted on it for 2 yrs 6 months
but I still put it on my LinkedIn profile
because it still counts (it DOES still count)

Exploding.with.creativeness.

Exploding.with.creativeness.

I am a kooky imagineerist
I made that title up myself
it is on my business cards
which I ordered on Flickr
I just discovered ffffound.com and sent it  round the office
now everyone knows about it
and everyone knows I knew about it first
if I could, I would write ‘First!!1’ under everything in the office
including the hot secretary at the front desk
(she’ll never tell, but everyone knows)

So much to think about.

So much to think about.

I am a trippy imaginator
I customise my clothes / laptop / laptop bag / trainers
I wear badges with abstract type on them
And the logos from my favourite cartoons when I was a kid

Great ideas. Running through my brain. Cant stop. Like a hurricane.

Great ideas. Running through my brain. Can't stop. Like a hurricane.

I am a mad imaginoodle
And I am in LOVE with new ideas.

stuff white people like – blog of the week

whew. after a heavy weekend fielding emails from people telling me i’ve been ‘OWNED’ by posting 90dayjane (i’m not removing the post as it’s done great things for traffic and um, YOU’RE the ones googling it in any case) i’ve come across a gem of a blogspot location entitled Stuff White People Like. i’m not ashamed to say i’ve spent my sunday evening there.
do yourself a favour and check it out.