Tag Archives: stripes

Afrika’s in fashion – tell your marketing friends

are you ready? now that American Apparel’s gone Authentic African (they should change their name) on America, you can bet there’s going to be a backlash. when i look at this i wonder what kind of person will buy and wear these clothes. maybe The Cobra Snake since he has been on a mission to print T-shirts for kids in Africa so they can be cool, too. maybe Paris Hilton would buy the boob tube for her trip down here when her Madden brother played in Africa, except that has already happened. Maybe all the rich Nigerian kids will buy their own patterns in another country when they do their yearly shop overseas and bring back stuff for their friends to buy (see how i slipped in that free nugget of market research info in there? i do that a lot, if you’re observant you should see loads of free ‘research’, like free love, on my site).

Afrika with a K - now in fashion.

Afrika with a 'K' - now in fashion.

i was just thinking it would be really cool to bring out a Jacob Zuma range which is the same as what you see here except they throw in a really short skirt that shows your knees (American Apparel fans will be pleased to know that in AfriCa, if you show your knees, it means you’re a dirty slut who’ll have sex in exchange for money – which is a LOT ¬†easier than the American equivalent where you actually have to flash your hoo-hoo when you’re getting out of your limo).

i was also thinking they should make a print of the AIDS virus because that is very much in fashion in AfriCa (seriously, almost every 3rd person has it. How far will you really go to be cool, American Apparel fans? only those who have REAL COOL AMBITION will make it to this level. you have to really WANT it.).

The AIDS print. This seasons must-have in AfriCa. Flannel is so last century.

The AIDS print. This season's must-have in AfriCa. Flannel is so last century.

Anyway, it’s actually awesome to have some of our indigenous stuff getting respect in mainstream retail outlets world wide. big up to AA.

to get these shoes free i would…

We can be friends if you buy me these shoes.

We can be friends if you buy me these shoes.

a) Tattoo RBK somewhere prominent yet trendy, eg. the surface of my foot or the back of my neck or on my inner wrist.

b) write to RBK (which i am doing right now in an open letter kind of way) and tell them I Am What I Am (their campaign line for all your philistines) and therefore they should send me the shoes.

c) compromise the part of my personal brand that projects an Independent Woman image and ask my boyfriend to buy them for me (ha ha, i would never do that. Don’t forget when you compromise your personal brand for material things you have to consider what it will do to your relationship, and it’s not really fair to my man. To quote a great cereal company, “if it doesn’t say Kellog’s on the box, it’s not Kellog’s in the box”.)

d)  buy them with my cashmoney and then claim them back when i do my tax at the end of the year since having a personal brand means i am a personal business and get such benefits.

e) do nothing and wait 3 days until i get obsessed with some other equally cool object that I can scheme about getting free.

What’s it gonna be?