Tag Archives: The Loerie Awards

still searching for a Loeries gimmick. still.

ShouldI dress up like the Doritos “Snowglobe” Superbowl ad?

Should I wear an Obama mask? Or should my outfit rhyme with “Yes we can”?

Yes we can green eggs and ham.

Yes we can green eggs and ham.

Should I dress up as a Social Media Consultant?

Should I hijack the big screen and plug in a powerpoint about how the youth are skeptical about traditional advertising / don’t believe the official spokesperson only the unnamed source / hate getting branded SMSes?

Feel like that last idea’s been done before at one of the 90’s Loeries.

Should I ‘get so wasted and trip my tits off’ when I go onstage ie. party on bra?

Should I sniff really loudly when I accept the Loerie so ppl think I am on cocaine, and perpetuate a sterotype that really only applies to a minority of creatives, usually the ones in Dubai? sigh. so many options.

Should I get guns tattooed on my hips / shoulders / breasts? Be ‘that gun chick’?

Should I go on stage barefoot and do push-ups with my pinkie toe?

Should I propose to my boyfriend / art director on stage?

Should I cut my face with a knife?

Should I commit ‘recession suicide’?

Should I quit my job onstage and announce that I just want to be ‘an independent creative focusing on my own personal projects’?

Should I dedicate my award to independent creatives focusing on their personal projects because they are poor  unknowns who ‘deserve a break’?

Help me y’ulle. The tock is clicking.

Just searching for a Loeries experience that cuts through the clutter yulle.

Just searching for a Loeries experience that 'cuts through the clutter' y'ulle.

new Loerie Awards location

the agency xmas party sucked a lot of my attention up this past week. didn’t even find time to comment on the Loerie Awards announcing its new venue, namely The Good Hope Centre in Cape Town. love the GHC. it’s this big, bulbous tuber of a building in the middle of the inner city Cape Town ganglands. i know it well, because i attended the Red & Yellow School of Advertising, which was right across the road. this one time, an art director’s VW Beetle got petrol-bombed, for realz. the area has that kind of eccentric charm.

Still looking for a stage gimmick for Loeries. Been thinking hard about learning a Silly Walk. Worried now that the awards are in Woodstock, a gangster might mistake my Silly Walk for a Nokia 3310 and shoot me.

Still looking for a stage gimmick for Loeries. Been thinking hard about learning a Silly Walk. Worried now that the awards are in Woodstock, a gangster might drive past and mistake my Silly Walk for a Nokia 3310 and shoot me.

bizcommunity calls the area the East City Precinct. gotta love marketers. they know how to make you feel like you’re living in New York, even though you didn’t win the Green Card Lottery because you’re a pragmatic person who doesn’t believe in luck and didn’t even enter. i also like how they acknowledge that the GHC isn’t in the best of states by stating that “The Good Hope Centre has been somewhat forgotten in Cape Town and we feel this is a perfect challenge for the Loeries.”

I like an awards show that likes a challenge.

I also like an awards show that starts an industry comment war just to get more publicity. Go Bizcommunity. Some memorable moments from the 2008 Loeries Comment War (prob gonna be in a cinema any day now with Andrew Human played by Matt Damon):

“The venue is a gravel-clad apartheid silo in the midst of one of the City’s bleakest precincts, with a comfort factor of zero and acoustics to match.” – anon

( I never noticed the gravel-cladding but now that they mention it… silly archis. you know how those archis like to ‘play and experiment with different textures and materials’ on their buildings. gotta let them make mistakes, you know. )

“Good move. Cape Town’s the place. Just make sure to lose the Margate skankiness and create some sexy, glamour. At least now I can wear some killer heels and not worry about walking up all those stairs in Margate!!” – Adbabe

(Yes. Killer heels are very important. Not so much for me to wear, but for me to contrast my Converse + Ballgown outfit against. Am glad Adbabe is sticking up for sexy, glamour. There is not enough sexy, glamour in advertising. Sometimes wish i worked in the Sexy,Glamour industry..*sigh*)

“ad babe is a fatty! true story.” ifeltadbabesfatboob

(A very meaningful comment. Makes me consider whether I’ve left the world a better place than i came into it. Makes me wonder whether I filled the world with love or not. makes me wonder what Adbabe’s boobs feel like. soft.)

Just down the road from Ogilvy…yay. From a 2 hour plane ride – to a 2 minute walk from Ogilvy. Thanks for killing the adventure.” – Boo

(A very, very legitimate point. At least the GHC is a 5 minute drive from my place of work and residence. At least I will be able to listen to a full Britney Spears track on the way there and get myself into dancey-dancey-PR-slut mode. I feel for the guys at Ogilvy. Hey anyone wanna have pre-drinks at Peddlar’s on the Bend in Constantia? That way it will take 30 minutes to get The Loeries and we can pretend we’re driving across the Eastern Cape / KZN border. Just a thought.)

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Better start thinking about some clever tactical medium executions. Pressures on for all the Cape Town agencies. Wonder if you can draw parallels between how many bullet holes you get in ur rental car and how many Grand Prixes you win in one night. Must be meaningful and disruptive. Must catch the consumer when they least expect it.

Better start thinking about some 'clever tactical medium executions'. Pressure's on for all the Cape Town agencies. Wonder if you can draw parallels between how many bullet holes you get in ur rental car and how many Grand Prixes you win in one night. Must be meaningful and disruptive. Must catch the cynical advertising consumer when they least expect it.

trying to come up with a Loeries stage gimmick. need to make a lasting impression in the industry’s inebriated minds.

Under all sorts of pressure right now. The agency xmas party is on Friday and I still don’t have what I need for my beehive, or my satin ballet slippers. Irksome. Been thinking a lot of about Loeries next year. You know when that book The Secret came out and everyone started ‘being positive’ and ‘following the laws of attraction’ and writing affirmations about money in the gratitude journals? Was wondering if the law of attraction applies to awards. Should I imagine a lot of Loeries flying towards me like magnets? Or is that a bit unrealistic.

Maybe if I flap my hands it will call The Loeries to me and my life will be like a advertising remake of Hitchcocks The Birds.

Maybe if I flap my hands it will call The Loeries to me and my life will be like a advertising remake of Hitchcock's 'The Birds'.

Been thinking about what kind of crazy zany antic I can do when I go on stage to collect my gold Loerie award. You know how some really crazy creatives like to do hand-stands when they collect their awards? I need some sort of stage gimmick like that. Some creatives get zany by throwing their panties at the mayor of Margate. Others have lollopped up the stage like monkeys. I’m not feeling like any of these antics really reflects my deeply introspective yet also fun and lighthearted creative nature.

Should i take a giant crusty fake hot dog / banana on stage with me and hump it? Such a big decision for me to make.

Should i take a giant crusty fake hot dog / banana on stage with me and hump it? Such a big decision for me to make.

I could take a fire extinguisher up with me and set it off onstage. Setting off fire extinguishers unnecessarily is pretty kooky, hey?

Maybe I could roll up a banner that says something about how immersed in the industry I am, such as ‘Interns are for mounting’ or ‘Life’s a pitch’. Do you think anyone will notice that I took those sayings from the zany stickers Net#work BBDO made last year? Ppl will probably shout ‘that’s been done before’ because they will be pretty bitter about my gold.

I could reinterpret a South African classic and do the Nik Nak man dance on stage to show ppl how I have an appreciation of all things local and retro. Hopefully the camera will zoom in on my Casio Gold Calculator watch that I got from ShelfLife, and really bring retro to life.

Maybe I should reinvent myself as a retro electronics brand? Is that more meaningful than strapping a retro electronics bag to your wrist? Sometimes always pushing for concept is a lot of work.

Maybe I should reinvent myself as a retro electronics brand? Is that more meaningful than strapping a retro electronics brand to your wrist? Sometimes 'always pushing for concept' is a lot of work.

Maybe I should be more subtle, and wear some Coverse High-Tops with a flouncy ballgown (a visual contradiction / irony / the tension of opposites), thereby telling ppl that even tho I win gold Loeries and wear ballgowns and shiz, I am still able to keep it real in my All Stars, while retaining township cred (important for a white girl).

I would have to practise my nonchalant shrug. Need to keep it real in my All Stars.

I would have to practise my nonchalant shrug. Need to keep it real in my All Stars.

It’s all a bit much to think about right now. Maybe y’ulle have some cool gimmick ideas that you can send me, for which I won’t credit you but will use in order to advance my social standing and industry credibility. Mail me.

How to Not Keep It Real in your All Stars. For shame, this bro is a 90s surf brand, not a retro electronics brand.

How to Not Keep It Real in your All Stars. For shame, this bro is a 90s surf brand, not a retro electronics brand.

thinking of starting an awards show. building a ‘voice of authority and measure of standards’.

feeling the whole awards vibe. adfocus has got me all excited. feel like i want to invent an awards show for ‘great, vibey and rad ideas’. that way i could label everything i do and like as ‘great, vibey and rad’ and everything else as whatever.

it could have a complicated and obscure title like The Capybara Street Pole & Radio Awards and it could focus on those 2 categories only. i could sell adspace at my awards show. and i could accept bribes from people who wanted to be called winners. it would basically be like any other awards show except i would be in charge, which is what would make it great.

i’d probably have to have some sort of disclosure on my judging criteria. the rough draught might look something like this:

– did the idea make people LOL?

– did the idea give people a ready-made opinion that they could use immediately as they go about their daily quest for low G.I. and the iPod with the most memory for their money?

– did the idea creators copy an internet genius and not credit them as the original idea creators, and did it cause a clutch of crusading creatives to get up in arms about it on bizcommunity [mandatory]?

– did the idea namedrop any famous SA tech bloggers so as to maximise Afrigator and Muti ratings?

– did the idea come into this world on some unknown foreign college kid’s blog as a drunken karaoke video with ‘untapped viral value’?

– is the idea available for download, and did they make a facebook app that you can forward to friends on their superwalls?

– does the idea come with a press pack for easy understanding on behalf of the awards writers in a word doccie so they can cut and paste and have ready-made content for their website and make them seem like they know what they are talking about?

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not very inspired about sussing out awards criteria. maybe i can just get a part time job handing out awards on stage at various events. i could be the ashley hayden of advertising, and i’d keep my upper body completely stiff like a robot so viewers on tv question whether i am actually real.

The Face of The Loeries. Miss those days when you used to hand out grand prixes on tv.

The Face of The Loeries. Miss those days when you used to hand out grand prixes on tv.

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“An Ad Man measures his contribution to society and his weight as a person of integrity by the number of guilded roaring wild feline friends adorning the shelf above the photocopy machine. ” -Bill Bernback