Tag Archives: tv

i love Lucky.

listen y’ulle. there’s this cheetah, and her name is Lucky because she’s ‘lucky to be alive’ after she was found in a steel trap. the animal vets tried everything they could to save her leg – she is a cheetah after all, her legs are super important to her – but they weren’t able to, and they had to amputate one of her hind legs. now, she has just started walking again, and the nice blonde lady who has been rehabilitating Lucky takes her for long drives in her VW Golf, so that Lucky can stick her head out of the window and remember how it feels to move at the speed of the wind once more.

i actually started crying by the time i typed the last sentence.


that’s some iconic advertising, Ogilvy. i think this beats the Dunlop Staffie, and certainly shuts up that BMW Mouse. the IBM (ISM?) Elephant Bros are a stiff contender, but this is right up there.

I ❤ you, Lucky. Wherever you are.

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A reason to marry an Axe Murderer.

Hey y’ulle. So a funny thing happened last night. I was lying and moaning and feeling sorry for myself for being all sickly, when I passed out from the stabs of pain in my stomach and had this nightmare.

In my nightmare, there was this ad on TV where there was this guy made of chocolate, and all these chicks running after him wanting to eat him. They wanted to chew his face. He lets pieces of himself flake off everywhere, like chunky brown dandruff. He even cuts off his nose and sprinkles it around like an eczema party. It was really gross. I woke up crying and nauseous. It might have been from the virus, but it might have been from the nightmare. The boyfriend had to console me and hold me close and promise me it wasn’t real.

It wasn’t, right? Please tell me it wasn’t real.

Hey this is our latest concept for your latest campaign, aimed at penetrating horny men. You know. Women cant resist chocolate. Women cant resist men who wear your product. Make so much sense.

"Hey this is our latest concept for your latest campaign, aimed at penetrating horny men. You know. Women can't resist chocolate. Women can't resist men who wear your product. Makes so much sense. Can we drink now? Just wanna party."

Are you there Standard Bank / Nike / American Swiss / Pick ‘n Pay / Woolworths / Gucci / Hunter’s Dry / True Religion / Apple? it’s me, Alex.

Dear Core Portfolio Of Lifestyle Brands that factor me into your marketing strats,

I feel a little lost. I have come to you seeking guidance in a difficult time. I feel very alone, and I have tough decisions to make, and chewy issues, and I need ur guidance. I will outline my problems and use some graphs to help you understand.

What should I be doing with my life? I am at the tender age where I go from falling in the 18 – 24 demographic to the 25 – 30 demographic. I am not sure what I should be wearing / doing with my free time / which magazines I should be reading / which websites I should be reading / which TV stations I should be watching / which ads I should be consuming / which bank I should be using / which cellphone network will give me the most bundled benefits. It’s all very confusing for me. Can you maybe send me a copy of the 25 Year-Old White Girl LSM 8-10 Manual so I can photocopy this phase in my life? I’ll basically buy whatever you tell me to, Core Portfolio Of Lifestyle Brands, but you gotta speak to me.

Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purchasing purpose?

Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purchasing purpose?

What should my income be? What should I be doing for a living? Am I in a lucrative career? What should I be drinking? I feel lost, Lifestyle Brands. What is my Corporate Identity? What should my logo be? What should my facebook status (payoff line) read?

Dear God Brand pls send me a t-shirt angel kthnks bye.

Dear Lifestyle Brands Please help me define myself as interesting, unique and 'going places'. Maybe give me a t-shirt or something. I feel like t-shirts do a good job of telling ppl who i am.

Yesterday I went to the bank and they told me the only difference between their card packages was the price and the colour of the cards. Help me, Core Portfolio Of Lifestyle Brands. I really want a White Gold Platinum Black Dining Express Club  Card but I will have to pay more in card fees. Why is the world like this? Life is so unfair.

Graph explaining unfairness of life.

Graph explaining unfairness of life.

Dear Core Portfolio Of Lifestyle Brands, why is there war in Iraq? Is it because George Bush opened a new Nike Sweatshop there? Why did that man slash all those babies in Belgium? Was it because his mom put him in Pampers not Cuddlers when he was little? Why do we have to keep reading articles about Julius Malema? Is he a ‘subliminal ambassador’ for MacDonald’s? Is it because he wears really pointy shoes from Spitz, making him ‘highly quotable’?

Julius Malema, head of the ANC Youth League.

Julius Malema, head of the ANC Youth League.

Core Portfolio Of Lifestyle Brands, I know some people don’t believe in you. But I believe in you. I need you. I need you to tell me who I am based on what I should buy and where I fall into your marketing strategies. I will do whatever you say. Your love is all-embracing. Keep it real.

Alex

PS. I can’t be reached through TV ads and I don’t read magazines, and I will defriend you if you SMS me, so do something real amazing to catch my attention. Free stuff is prob your best bet. Cool.

Psychographic Profile: I am an Advertising Student

Lets get vida and take photos of each other and deep etch them.
Let’s get vida and take photos of each other and deep etch them.

i am an advertising student.
i go to red and yellow / triple A / Vega.
i think my school is better than all the others.
i am from Joburg, but i am reinventing myself in Cape Town.
i am open-minded and quirky.
my accent has an American twang that i picked up from my best friend MTV / VH1.

I am an advertising student.
i carry at least 2 moleskines everywhere i go (1 for ideas, 1 for doing sketches of my friends that i will scan later and upload onto facebook so my friends can use them as profile pics).
i am learning to manipulate the minds of the public.
i am learning how to render food, cars and fast moving consumer goods (FMCGs) with my overpriced Copic Markers.
i am adding ppl who work at ad agencies as friends of facebook because it will improve my peer evaluation marks.

i am an advertising student.

i have loads of cool kreative friends at AFDA.i have slept with all of them.
all of them have slept with me.
we do cocaine together at mercury live.
together we are ‘singing the song, singing this is the life’.
i write scripts and we make short films about the role brands play in our lives.
i work for the man. i hate the man. fuck the man. i am the man.
i make out with my female classmates when i go out to Long Street on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday night.
i am in love with my gay best friend.

i am an advertising student.
i am multitalented. i can write and i can draw.
i can direct short movies on my nokia.
i know how to work a “Mac”.
i am in love with ideas.
i am just an idea. you are just an idea.
together, we have both been done before.

i am an advertising student.
someday i will be an advertising intern.
someday i will sleep with a Creative Director and blackmail him into hiring me.
someday i will write / art direct / design a TV ad / billboard / radio ad / brochure / promotion / meme that your kids will hum along to / fwd on email / fwd on Mxit / fwd on facebook.
someday i will quit my successful job and go ‘work in Dubai’ to kick my cocaine addiction.
someday i will never quit smoking, even though i did that ad about smoking that makes you puke into your mouth.

i am an advertising student.
i take pictures of the nightlife and upload them on my blog.
i work on proactive campaigns for brands like Vespa and Pritt glue.
i earn money by working behind the bar at a nightclub / at Exclusive Books / for a market research company.
i collect scraps of paper / packaging / stickers / quotes and stick them up around my desk / bedroom to feel creative / stimulate my mind.
i go to Vida E Caffe at wembley square every saturday morning so i can see Waddy Jones and his wife drink coffee and write raps.

i am an advertising student.
i go to vortex on the weekends. i dance to the trance music.
i love the vort because i can forget about brands and just ‘let loose’ and ‘be myself’.
i only read wallpaper and monocle magazine because i am progressive and have a global perspective.
i have won a student loerie.
i will get the funnest job at the zaniest agency because of it.

i am an advertising student.
i am my own consumer promise.
this is my tone and manner.
this is my substantiating evidence.
buy into my communication strategy.
buy into me.
buy me.

weekly round up vibes: soccer, balls and witches

self-discovery is really important. in this day and age, knowing yourself is almost as important as knowing your enemies when it comes to keeping a competitve edge in the advertising industry. this week i discovered something about myself that i never knew: i am freaking petrified of a soccer ball. luckily i discovered this while i was on the soccer pitch, about to make Jupiter proud as the only (legitimate) girl, so i was able to face my fears right there and then. i faced them by turning my back on the ball and running the other way. in me, the survival instinct is strong. some snaps of the event:

Very enthusiastic crowd of supporters despite awful wind. Note the sign in the background.

Very enthusiastic crowd of supporters despite awful wind. Note the sign in the background.

The sign in the background reads:

“Yet another pitch TBWA wasn’t invited to.”

Very funny. Much LOL. Jupiter’s doing (in fineprint it reads jobs@jupiterct.co.za). One of the highlights of the evening was Fred getting into a fight with some dude from FCB. There was pushing and shoving and pulling apart – for reals. Great stuff. I wouldn’t want to fight with Fred. I mean, who would.

Crazy eyes. Our Fred.

Crazy eyes. Our Fred.

The old open your beer with your teeth trick. Our Fred.

The old 'open your beer with your teeth' trick. Our Fred.

Fred may be mad, but to his credit he once went an entire day without noticing that we’d placed a penis in a picture frame on his desk. He has that kind of focus. That dedication to his craft as Creative Director that makes him so valuable. Also, he’s French, and can make your ‘fuck’ sound like ‘oh poo’. All-in-all, much fun was had, despite the freezing wind.

The more teeth you show the more fun youre having. Standard rules.

The more teeth you show the more fun you're having. Standard rules.

on Friday, Good Hope FM came to the agency and we planted VonBrandis’s fart machine right beneath the DJ’s mike to make things a little more interesting. of course, what seemed like sheer genius at the time fell a little flat since we couldn’t hear it going off. we hope listeners did though.

Brrrlllllrrlllfffffft.

"Brrrlllllrrlllfffffft."

Ha Ha Fart Machine LOL Shhhh.

Ha Ha Fart Machine LOL Shhhh.

the weekend went by pleasantly – spent most of it lazing in the sun trying to brown the pasty chops since it was the first fully sunny hot as hell weekend since the piffly teasers we’ve been having. went shopping on sunday and was totally talked out of buying OMO by one of the Skip witches, who are totally the coolest promo ladies i have seen in a while. the fact that i’m talking about promo ladies says a whole lot.

Sexy Skip witches. In A Gardens Centre Pick n Pay near you.

Sexy Skip witches. In A Gardens Centre Pick 'n Pay near you.