Tag Archives: VW

Signed the last ever Citi Bro.

Feel like I can *finally* be a part of this very NB branded coming-of-age ritual now that my name is on the last Citi Golf eva.

Can y'ulz see my message?

Thought long and hard for 7 days and 7 nights about what I should write on the very last Citi Golf ever and came up with this: (just steady yourself)

“Miss you Citi Bro xxx”

Feel like this is the face of the words that could sink a thousand ships. I mean them Citi Bro. Pity we never really got to ‘be bros’ 4 real. At least I get 2 miss u. 4 eva.

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Should I sue my parents 4 not buying me a Citi Golf?

Hey y’ulz. Went for a stroll round the internet. Met the video below in a park. We chatted. I watched the video. Then the video said ‘See ya round’ and let someone else watch it. Little slut. Sorry – I didn’t rly mean that. Am just ‘feeling hurt’ that I cannot share the branded ‘rite of passage experiences that accompany driving a citigolf’ as expressed in the video by this ‘highly agreeable chickbro with nice soft boobs’.



Y’ulz, am rly rly bummed that I never had a CitiGolf, and now they’re not even making the car anymore. H8 my life. H8 my parents. Wish they’d ‘shown some tough love’ when giving me my 1st car & got me a ‘piece of plastic crap’ Citi that ‘fell apart slowly’ instead of a brand new Corsa Lite that ‘started 1st time every time all the time’. Feel ‘totally deprived’ of an authentic ‘coming of age’ experience via driving an Opel.

Fuck-my-so-called-post-teen-pre-adult-life y’als.

A memory I could have had, but NO.

Anyone else feel this way?

Another memory that could have been mine. H8 my life.

Really wish my parents ‘hadn’t trusted me for shit’ & bought me a Citi because ‘I was bound to write off my first car anyway’ (I did, but it was a Butler’s Pizza dude’s fault, not mine). Wish I never had such ‘free thinking parents’ who let my boyfriends stay over in my room instead of forcing us to ‘dry-hump on the roof of my Citi Golf’. Wish my mom hadn’t ‘slapped me on the pill as soon as I grew hips’ so I could have had an authentic ‘pregnancy scare while wrestling with the choke on my Citi Golf’. Feel like the Corsa roof is ‘too high to confuse with the bonnet’ in any case.

Fuck-my-so-called-post-teen-pre-adult-life.

Yet another important part of 'growing up' snatched from me. Want 2 die.

Another memory snatched from me. Want 2 die.

What do y’ulz think? Should I sue my parents? Should I ‘seek treatment for my past wounds’? Should I ‘let the healing start’ by making a fake video of fake memories of my Citi Golf? In so much pain right now.

i love Lucky.

listen y’ulle. there’s this cheetah, and her name is Lucky because she’s ‘lucky to be alive’ after she was found in a steel trap. the animal vets tried everything they could to save her leg – she is a cheetah after all, her legs are super important to her – but they weren’t able to, and they had to amputate one of her hind legs. now, she has just started walking again, and the nice blonde lady who has been rehabilitating Lucky takes her for long drives in her VW Golf, so that Lucky can stick her head out of the window and remember how it feels to move at the speed of the wind once more.

i actually started crying by the time i typed the last sentence.


that’s some iconic advertising, Ogilvy. i think this beats the Dunlop Staffie, and certainly shuts up that BMW Mouse. the IBM (ISM?) Elephant Bros are a stiff contender, but this is right up there.

I ❤ you, Lucky. Wherever you are.

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VW Citi Golf Campaign: Recessionista

Brings the funny.

Brings the funny.

i likes it. plus it was done by my pals Cuan and Jen at Ogilvy.

LolliLOL

LolliLOL

LollerLOL

LollerLOL