Tag Archives: wembley square

Should I make a giant inflatable blog?

As y’all know, I’m rebranding. Today I’m asking myself whether I should be exploiting some sort of gimmick to ‘attract readers driving past’. I got this idea when somebody tweeted about a ‘brilliant piece of MacDonald’s advertising’, which was just a streetpole that had been dressed to look like a giant McD’s coffee pot pouring coffee into a giant McD’s coffee cup. Should I get a giant inflatable version of my blog and tie it to the roof of Wembley Square?

Click here for fun.

Click here for fun.

Maybe an over-sized vagina? (just to prove to y’all I’m not a man)

notahermie.blogspot.com

notahermie.blogspot.com

Employing this kind of gimmick ‘flies in the face of convention you fools!’. It says that even though I have been educated about what is and isn’t good advertising, I’m still going to go with the gimmick because ‘it attracts attention’ and will ‘drive footfall through my blog store’ and ‘has talkability’ and ‘will generate an instant reaction’. Guess I will just have to binge on fast food to ‘make myself forget’ that I have sacrificed the integrity of my blog brand for a moment’s attention. No matter – y’all are reading this, right?

Load of crap. Really big one.

Load of crap. Really big one.

I guess the twitter equivalent of getting a giant inflatable blog and tying it to Wembley Square would be tweeting something like ‘Look at my newly waxed vagina’ and then posting a link to this post. Might just do that to ‘prove my point’, even though my readers will be annoyed at being misled for such an averagely interesting post on ‘ethics and integrity in advertising’ on my journey towards a total rebrand. Sorry y’all. Just wanted 2 be loved. Just wanted you to ‘boost my pageviews’ which is the blog equivalent to ‘driving volume’ in the  FMCG world that is online consumer-created content (ie. blogs).  Feeling a bit confused. Maybe I need to ‘hire a consultant’ to guide me in this rebranding process and bleed me dry while telling me stuff I already know. Is there anyone y’all can recommend?


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my Big Day Out

Hey y’ulz. Had a serious reality check this am. Just kind of realised that there’s more to Cape Town than Wembley Square. Seriously – this is massive progress for me. Had my morning Vida at Green Point Vida as opposed to the usual Wembley Square, which threw me for starters. A lot of mommies with Dior glasses chumming little brats in babygap with pasteis de coco. Anyway, then made my way with my mucho Meie de Leit over to the Cape Royal hotel (which is very pleasant indeed – I could probably be quite happy there were it my official residence) where I was to drop nugget bombs of web marketing wisdom for the Huddlemind Word of Mouse course (which I did quite well – even wore a dress, showed some leg). Finished my talk and then stayed to hear Seth Rotherham talk about his rise to internet stardom via 2oceansvibe, which is a great story, btw, try corner him in the bathrooms at Caprice and make him tell it to you some day. MAKE him.  All in all this was a lot of stimulation for one morning and am nowly safely back at Wembley, ‘getting on with work’. Am considering branching out and going to Camps Bay vida tomorrow am, but that might just be too much for one week.

The man, the legend.

The man, the legend.

Id be pretty happy staying in one of these swanky bathrooms.

I'd be pretty happy staying in one of these swanky bathrooms.

Close encounters with the TBG while brainstorming

See kids? THIS is what can happen if you get into advertising. You work late nights without being paid overtime. You present endless options on ideas, and they all get bombed for whatever reason. You get harangued for being on the internet ‘when you should be working’. You mooch around Wembley Square for hours on end, “brainstorming”.  And then the TBG walks in, and makes it all worthwhile.

And suddenly everything is wonderful.

And suddenly everything is wonderful.

Read more about similarly inspiring encounters with TBG here.

Happy Valentine’s Day y’ulle.

Hope you all had a good day on Saturday. Hope your boyfriend / girlfriend / sympathetic parent bought you something red, shiney and heart-shaped. You can be sure they got it free in the queue at Woolworths when they were doing groceries on their WW card because times are hard.

I had a good V-day. Managed to score 2 free heart choccies from Woolies. Managed to score a dining room table and a knife set. Nothing like a knife set for V-day.

Cut out this template with a knife and create your very own V-day promo at home. Your BF / BFF will think you are a premium retailer with a future.

Cut out this template with a knife and create your very own V-day promo at home. Your BF / BFF will think you have official ties to a premium retailer.

Just want to say thanks to Virgin Active for hanging cut-out paper hearts in their foyer. It definitely made me feel all loved-up coming to gym and walking under some cut-out paper hearts on my way to the change room. They were even cut out by hand, which made me think warm thoughts about off-duty personal trainers sitting in the staff lounge, cutting hearts out of red, pink and white paper, not even noticing the smell of foot in the furniture because they are so used to it. ❤ personal trainers.

Make.Your.Own.Ambient.V-day.Media.

Make.Your.Own.Ambient.V-day.Media.

Also want to say thanks to glomobi for offering me a pink dancing bear that I can ‘order’ via SMS and send to my loved one(s) / personal trainer. Just can’t get enough of cute animated vibes speaking in a helium voice on my cellphone. Cute animated helium vibes is the new coal. Gonna stop before I get all nostalgic about ‘a simpler time’.

Also want to thank the big 3  Mass Market LSM 4 – 8 major retailers (Louis Vuitton, Guess and Gucci) for sending me Valentine’s messages, and notifying me of the various specials, promos and great deals available in store today. Not sure if I would be this content with my current life choices had I not picked up a new handbag as a Gift With Purchase (GWP) when I bought another 75ml tube of 8-hour cream that I don’t use. ❤ being in an economic boom while rest of earth is in a recession.

Make.Your.Own.V-day.Tactical.Media.Blitz.

Make.Your.Own.V-day.Tactical.Media.Blitz.

Did y’ulle manage to get any good deals on cosmetics / cool GWPs / experience any lovey ambient media / get free heart chocolates NOT made from cooking chocolate / flyers for Valentine’s Day tyre specials on your windscreen this V-day? MSG me with details, can’t wait to trade stories / choccies.

Psychographic Profile: I am an Advertising Student

Lets get vida and take photos of each other and deep etch them.
Let’s get vida and take photos of each other and deep etch them.

i am an advertising student.
i go to red and yellow / triple A / Vega.
i think my school is better than all the others.
i am from Joburg, but i am reinventing myself in Cape Town.
i am open-minded and quirky.
my accent has an American twang that i picked up from my best friend MTV / VH1.

I am an advertising student.
i carry at least 2 moleskines everywhere i go (1 for ideas, 1 for doing sketches of my friends that i will scan later and upload onto facebook so my friends can use them as profile pics).
i am learning to manipulate the minds of the public.
i am learning how to render food, cars and fast moving consumer goods (FMCGs) with my overpriced Copic Markers.
i am adding ppl who work at ad agencies as friends of facebook because it will improve my peer evaluation marks.

i am an advertising student.

i have loads of cool kreative friends at AFDA.i have slept with all of them.
all of them have slept with me.
we do cocaine together at mercury live.
together we are ‘singing the song, singing this is the life’.
i write scripts and we make short films about the role brands play in our lives.
i work for the man. i hate the man. fuck the man. i am the man.
i make out with my female classmates when i go out to Long Street on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday night.
i am in love with my gay best friend.

i am an advertising student.
i am multitalented. i can write and i can draw.
i can direct short movies on my nokia.
i know how to work a “Mac”.
i am in love with ideas.
i am just an idea. you are just an idea.
together, we have both been done before.

i am an advertising student.
someday i will be an advertising intern.
someday i will sleep with a Creative Director and blackmail him into hiring me.
someday i will write / art direct / design a TV ad / billboard / radio ad / brochure / promotion / meme that your kids will hum along to / fwd on email / fwd on Mxit / fwd on facebook.
someday i will quit my successful job and go ‘work in Dubai’ to kick my cocaine addiction.
someday i will never quit smoking, even though i did that ad about smoking that makes you puke into your mouth.

i am an advertising student.
i take pictures of the nightlife and upload them on my blog.
i work on proactive campaigns for brands like Vespa and Pritt glue.
i earn money by working behind the bar at a nightclub / at Exclusive Books / for a market research company.
i collect scraps of paper / packaging / stickers / quotes and stick them up around my desk / bedroom to feel creative / stimulate my mind.
i go to Vida E Caffe at wembley square every saturday morning so i can see Waddy Jones and his wife drink coffee and write raps.

i am an advertising student.
i go to vortex on the weekends. i dance to the trance music.
i love the vort because i can forget about brands and just ‘let loose’ and ‘be myself’.
i only read wallpaper and monocle magazine because i am progressive and have a global perspective.
i have won a student loerie.
i will get the funnest job at the zaniest agency because of it.

i am an advertising student.
i am my own consumer promise.
this is my tone and manner.
this is my substantiating evidence.
buy into my communication strategy.
buy into me.
buy me.

weekly roundup: stuff and things

if i was still doing tv ads i would probably be obsessing about how i can get wes anderson to direct one of my commercials. good thing i am now focusing on design and more through-the-line, experiental / real-life/ meaningful concepts, because i can imagine i would do a lot of lame things like get dressed up like Angelica Houston in Life Aquatic / Royal Tennenbaums and re-enact classic scenes from those movies just so i could fit getting all celebrity-director feverish into my 9-5. i would post lots of movies on youtube which no one but my colleagues and stalker ex boyfriend would view, while they cringed for me. anyway here is an ad starring brad pitt that wes directed.

Hello I am Wes Anderson. I directed classics you might have heard of such as A Life Aquatic, which was inspired by me drinking this glass of water. I also directed The Royal Tennenbaums. Plus I directed that quirky movie about 3 brothers who find themselves on a train in India. I forgot the name because I dont define myself by what i do but rather by who I am. I am confidant and down-to-earth. I am sorry but i cant direct your fragrance commercial because it doesnt align with my personal brand, even though you wrote it for me. I guess Ive changed. Youve changed. Change is part of life. Sorry.

Hello I am Wes Anderson. I directed classics you might have heard of such as A Life Aquatic, which was inspired by me drinking this glass of water. I also directed The Royal Tennenbaums. Plus I directed that quirky movie about 3 brothers who find themselves on a train in India. I forgot the name because I don't define myself by what i do but rather by who I am. I am confident and down-to-earth. I am sorry but i can't direct your fragrance commercial because it doesn't align with my personal brand, even though you wrote it for me. I guess I've changed. You've changed. Change is part of life. Sorry.

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in other news, i spent an amazing day at the South African History Museum on Saturday. went and investigated all the fossils. learnt about where we come from. learnt about how we evolved from small 1-bit file sizes to full on 500 GB living breathing human hard drives. remembered how small we are in the greater scheme of things. i even met a really nice shark with whom i hit it off immediately. we might get lunch next week.

Its good to make friends with people who are different to you, so that you can learn about yourself through your differences.

It's good to make friends with people who are different to you, so that you can learn about yourself through your differences.

this followed a most intense full-body massage i had at the Paris Spa right here below our offices at Wembley Square. a girl called Abigail took me for an Aromatherapy treatment, and managed to coax out via sheer force all the tension that’s been building in my shoulders for the past year or so. i came out feeling like i’d found god in the form of a plump and smiley masseuse with hair extensions. big thanks must go to my mum, who got me the massage as a christmas present.

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I bumped into Kanye West on a blog this morning, and he told me he’s giving up rapping for fashion. says he just wants to do something normal, now that he is at the apex of his career / everybody’s career.

Kanye with this summers new menswear pattern. Swirly vibes are the new pinstripe.

Kanye with this summer's new menswear pattern. Swirly vibes are the new pinstripe.

So i asked him what of that great idea i had where he could come be President of South Africanland. I pointed out that it would be pretty similar to being a rapper but he said he wasn’t sure if a seat in parliament would ‘bring it’ enough for him to feel motivated every day. sad news. got my hopes up. at least kanye has enough $ with which to bribe central st. martin’s. ask anyone who has any real talent and they’ll tell you they didn’t get accepted into central st. martin’s because their father doesn’t belong to the Old Boys Oxford St Martin’s Old English Money Lord Alumni. life’s tough when you’re just a nobody from southafricanland who didn’t make a ‘high art’ rap album to get you a foot in the fashion door.

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one more week til holidays. i go off on friday and come back on monday 5 jan. i know if i was *really* committed to being a real blogger i would blog all the way through but i’ve already committed to a tan and a book and a swimming pool. plus the screen on my new Macbook pro-Pod Steve Jobs Worx is too glossy for the outdoors. and i’ll be damned if i sacrifice reasonable exchange rates on Horlicks in Africa and then not make use of the sunshine.

Only 4 more days, horsey. Just put one hoof in front of the other. Think of all the carrots and sugarlumps waiting for you at the end of this week.

Only 4 more days, horsey. Just put one hoof in front of the other. Think of all the carrots and sugarlumps waiting for you at the end of this week.

landed. on feet. like cat.

i’m safely at King James. but readjusting to being on a PC. is like adjusting to living life upside with one left hand. will take me a while. so far so good if slightly surreal since yesterday was my third first day here. was nice to have a leisurely session at gym before taking the lift a floor up to work as opposed to usual parking scrabble. also noting how this vida cafe is like a dogshow where one must elbow one’s way into the queue or be ignored completely / trampled over by some blonde and her blonder friend. makes me slightly nostalgic for the black river vida, which was quiet and queue-free. guess you win some, you lose some. will be back with more meat once i’ve adjusted to blogging upside down with my left hand.

Blogging on PC at new office.

Blogging on PC at new office.