Tag Archives: youth

i’m a trendwatcher, you’re a trendwatcher.

Oh gawd not another one.

Oh gawd not another one.

ever feel annoyed when you’re getting out your car and some pesky guy comes over begging for ‘cool interesting stuff’ saying he’s a ‘trendwatcher’? i mean is it just me, or is every 2nd person on the street a trendwatcher these days? i was a trendwatcher once. but back then, nobody had heard of Demetri Martin. thecoolhunter didn’t exist. the internet was held together by Yahoo Tape. nobody but designers knew about ffffound. times have changed y’ulle. if you’ve got Google, you don’t need a trendwatcher to tell you what’s cool. in fact this site + this site = free cool stuff in your RSS feed 4 eva. now grow up and get a real job.

A company of trendwatchers.

A company of trendwatchers.

A freelance trendwatching consultant (be prepared to pay more $$)

A freelance trendwatching consultant (be prepared to pay more $$)

Advertisements

feeling stale. going to reinvent myself as some form of trendy reflux.

reflux is in y’ulle! i know because i read a book by kreative missionary visionary dion chang and the title is trend flux 2009. so get stuffing your white rolls from woolies and your burgers and your strawberry pavlova (hey, not really sure what causes reflux as have never been pregnant before, but being pregnant is another trend – set by MIA / Gwen Stefani / Nicole Richie (choose your own psychographic role model, am not phased) – so expect an increase in ‘girls 4getting to take their pill oops’ – and ‘miracle pregnancies’ – “i WAS taking my pill! i promise!” and “fuck i got so drunk last night at Assembly that i forgot to take my pill“).

I went off my pill because it gives me cramps and its not natural. I am going to go drink at Gandalfs and then have sex with my friend and then masturbate after, just to really give those sperm a chance.

"I went off my pill because it gives me cramps and it's not natural. I am going to go drink at Gandalf's and then have sex with my random, lonely-as-me guy friend, and then masturbate after, just to really give those sperm a chance."

should i get pregnant? should i go off the pill because ‘it’s unnatural‘ and it ‘makes me bloated’ and ‘it makes me moody and fills my face with pimples’, even though it’s 2k9 now and yasmin was invented 10 years ago, so we all know girls who go off the pill are doing so only because they find the risk of getting pregnant when they have sex with their boyfriends / their best friends / their classmates at AFDA a turn on.

I cant come unless theres a possibility of me getting pregnant. - M.I.A? maybe Anon.

"I can't come unless there's a possibility of me getting pregnant." - M.I.A? maybe Anon.

has the possibility of getting pregnant ever turned you on? wish i could get pregnant and then donate the baby to a good cause. not sure if there are any good causes that need healthy babies. maybe someone should start a Replacement Workforce For All Those People Who Have Died And Will Die Of AIDS just so Telkom has someone to employ to throw a cog in their generator that they can blame when we exceed our power capacity in 20 years time.

********************************************************Got a bit off topic there********************************************

Back to Reflux and other things that will be hot in 2k9 (note i didn’t get these from the trend reflux book by Dion Change, i just got them off some arb website but it doesn’t matter because all trends came from the same arb mothership website):

Being classy. “Classism is the new racism”. Does this give me license to discriminate? Just want to be ‘trendy’ y’ulle. Just want ppl to know i am better than them through my ‘social badging‘ or my ‘exclusive knowledge of how brandy is made’. Apparently knowledge about products is the new social currency. Am going to google Apple just now and learn everything there is to know about Steve Jobs so i can make my friends feel bad about themselves.

Apple was invented in 70 BC as an alternative to the slabs that Moses wrote the 10 Commodors on, but there wasnt a market until 2 000 years later.

Fact #1: Apple was invented in 70 BC as an alternative to the slabs of stone that Moses wrote the 10 Commodores on, but there wasn't a market until 2 000 years later.

the 90s. the 90s is the new 80s. this would explain all the Kurt Cobain Converse floating around my mall home. yes, i live in a mall, y’ulle. malls are like the new ‘gated communities’ or ‘security complexes’. wonder what i can steal from the 90s to incorporate into my personal brand. shortlist: having ‘i’m blue da-ba-dee da-ba-da’ as my ringtone; wearing blue lipstick and humming ‘i’m blue da-ba-dee da-ba-da’ round the office; trading my black car in for a blue one and pumping ‘i’m blue da-ba-dee da-ba-da’ from the subwoofers. which one do y’ulle think best enhances my PB?

twitter goes mainstream. uh-ohs. this means an increase in ppl twittering about how drunk they got last night / how crazy last night was / what a f*cked up time they had last night / how they 4got to take their pill last night / how they are really enjoying ‘Through the Storm’ by Lynne Spears. quick, time to evacuate twitter. tell all your trendleader / thought pioneering friends. this ship is sinking. if you are mainstream, quick, sign up for twitter while humming ‘I will go down with this ship’ by 90s star Dido.

Tweep recovering from a hangover from her night at Assembly, wondering if shes pregnant.

Tweep recovering from a hangover from her night at Assembly, wondering if she's pregnant.

big government will be cool. guess we all have Obamalove to thank for this. wish we had an Obamalove. just so y’ulle don’t think i’ve given up the cause, i’m still emailing Kanye West trying to convince him to come and be President of SouthAfricanland as his next piece of ‘high art’. not sure whether this trend applies in safricanland. especially since the ruling party keeps smacktalking its own president. sigh. I wish America would buy us and then everything would be okay. not likely in these harsh economic times.

other arb things i think will be in (note: these are my hypotheses and do not come off some arb website):

– being a trendwatcher / trend guru / trend collaborator / trend consultant / marketing consultant / web2.0 consultant / iPhone 2.0 consultant. Basically if you can’t hack it in the real world, pick any one of the titles above and start a blog and you’ll be a- for away.

suicide. just coz money doesn’t matter any more. like queen said, nothing really matters, to me.

adopting a web celeb for your brand. feeding them. treating them to VIP consumer experiences. and then watching them blog about your brand. feels good, doesn’t it? tamagotchi 2.0.

falling pregnant ‘accidentally’. because of the rise of organic, females in their mid-twenties who have not yet completed degrees or found jobs will choose this option because they think it will give them more options. outwardly, they will say they have issues putting hormones into their bodies because it is ‘unnatural’ and non-organic. time for phramaceuticals to go organic.

britney spears. like she says, all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to F-U-C-K her (track 6, Circus). Parting thought:

All i wanna do is xxxx and xxx and take your monay.

Sing with me: "All i wanna do is xxxx and xxx and take your monay."

Psychographic Flash Cards for Marketers: Print them out and improve your skills

as a writer who crossed over into strategy (and by that i mean tripped, hit my head and woke up on the other side of the fence with a throbbing skull and the desire to speak, live and think rhetorically), my favourite part of the marketing and advertising process was always the part where i got to write up consumer psychographics. i’ve been told i’m quite good at it. i’ve also been told i’m quite good at lying and manipulating people, but i guess like everything in life it depends on your attitude.

one thing i noticed about market research is how deeply marketers read between the lines. if a consumer says “I like Coke Zero”, a bunch of invisible subtitles that only us marketers can see comes up which translates that sentence into:

“I am a young female who was once naturally skinny except now i have passed the age of 21 and got some muffin tops which have caused me to stop buying Levi’s jeans since they only really fit hip-less girls and now I buy my jeans at Woolworths because I am scared if I spend too much money on a brand it will be a waste because I will probably get fatter and have to buy more jeans anyway. My ideal car would be a Mini Cooper and while I don’t save yet I appreciate Standard Bank’s attempts to lure me into their Achiever Plan with neat discounts from Apple. Apple 4 Ever. PC sucks. I aspire to Scarlett Johanssen because she is sexy and proud of her curves and has a brain because she did an album of Tom Waits covers.”

so when i discovered this site called Beforeidieiwantto.org i thought it would be handy resource for marketers. What you do is print out the Polaroids and use them as Flash Cards to flex your psychographic muscles when you’re sitting around sharpening your pencils and pretending to put briefs into the system. treat the statements about what the consumers want to do before they die as insights into the mind of the consumer, and translate it into strategy speak.

>>>>>beforeidieiwantto is a site set up by some Polaroid fans to protest Polaroid’s decision to stop making film. basically they go around taking Polaroids of people and asking them to name one thing they want to do before they die. i guess it captures the spontaneity and spirit of Polaroid while turning each photo into something meaningful and completely non-disposable, ie. the total opposite digital photography.let’s take a look at what kind of conclusions you can draw from the following consumers and their Polaroid statements:

Age 18 - 23, LSM 6+, Male.

Demographics: Age 18 - 23, LSM 6+, Male.

Psychographic interpretation:

“My parents love me and want me to succeed in my own time so they buy me tops from Guess and Diesel (sometimes) and my jeans from Levi’s from Edgars because my mom has a card there. I tell people I drink Heineken because it makes me feel like I am absorbing a bit of the zany-ness in their ads through osmosis but I’ll drink anything really. I listen to 5fm and i belong to the Junior Rotary Club (a.k.a i pay a Tiger Tiger VIP membership fee so i can skip the queue). I drive an Opel Corsa but I aspire to a Hummer and I once entered that 5fm competiton to win one but i kept forgetting to phone in so I didn’t. I have a girlfriend but she hates me because i play Xbox when she’s over and the one time she thought i gave her herpes. I watch TV as often as I can because I believe an education is really important.”

age 21 - 25, LSM 6+, Female

Demographics: age 21 - 25, LSM 6+, Female

Psychographic interpretation:

“I was one of those awkward teenagers who eschewed mainstream cool culture, and used words like ‘eschewed’. Because I am of above average intelligence i realise that not buying into mainstream means i buy into alternative, and i looked to art for my inspiration eg. Rammstein, mIRC, Doc Martens. Marketers who want to get my attention should appeal to the fact that I consider myself above my peers because i don’t buy into MTV culture. I do have some insecure moments and I have caught myself comparing diet products. I am and always will be a PC person and think people who use Apples are dupes. I spend my spare money on figurines and fantasy novels and i get a LOT of cashback vouchers from Exclusive Books. I don’t watch TV because i get my series downloaded. I drink White Horse whisky because it’s actually a good blend and Lagavulin is its core malt, which means I use knowledge of exclusive brands as status symbols. If I were a car I would be a Black Vintage Chevrolet, or whatever the car is in Death Proof. Tarantino is a genius.”

**********Get Practising your psychographic skills HERE**************

PS. I really respect this initiative, since i have a Polaroid camera and I really really don’t want to run out of film.

site of the week: hipster runoff

Do you love this t-shirt? Then yes, you are alt.

Do you love this t-shirt? Then yes, you are alt.

i guess working with a bunch of people who are ever referring to varying degrees of ‘cool’ made me jaded when i should have been slutting around semi-naked and badly dressed in blue stockings and red Converse High-tops, delighting in my own ‘cool’, but this site Hipster Runoff, has brightened my day and unjaded me thoroughly. i highly recommend it if you have spare time at work / have work you don’t want to do / think of yourself as uncool / think of yourself as cool / spend more than 30 minutes getting ready in the morning / walk around mumbling ‘why so serious?’to yourself the whole time. you won’t regret it.

if you’re young, make some noise

while there are a lot of companies out there hoping to capitalise on youth opinion, i was recently introduced to a company that manages to facilitate not only hearing opinions and dreams but making them into a reality, too. Youth Noise describes itself on their website thus:

“YN is a social networking site for people under the age of 27 who like to connect based on deeper interests than Paris Hilton’s wardrobe and want to get engaged within a cause. Find a cause, search for friends, and get involved. Want to free Tibet? Passionate about human rights?Whatever your cause, network it here.”

Under their causes tab is listed anything from Animal Rights to Arts and Media, to Economy to Business to Government to Poverty to ¬†Religion, to name but a few. You can also join existing youth projects, create a personalised profile, connect to government and gain access to registries of companies and sponsors who can help with your cause or dream. i think it’s an awesome idea, and wish there was a company like that in South Africa whose disillusioned youth so desperately need a voice.

South Africa presents a unique challenge, however, because mass market youth don’t have the kind of internet access something like Youth Noise. a mobile version of the site would be a prerequisite here. i can only imagine that everything that is wrong with South Africa crime, unemployment, poverty – will only be compounded as upcoming generations realise that as much as the word democracy gets thrown around here, they really don’t have a voice. what do you say, Youth Noise? are you ready for a challenge?

IG Assembly 01

so we held our first round of experimental ‘idea altruism’ talks – a lot of fancy words to describe an informal get-together where inspiring young people share their work, ideas, dreams and opinions in an environment that is non-judgemental. we held it at the office, and our first speakers were Brad Armitage – he of Vida e Caffe fame, Guiseppe Russo – owner and founder of One Small Seed magazine and Khaya Nongalaza – manager and part owner of Maphindi’s hotspot in Nyanga township. to say the least, it was inspiring, and although we weren’t sure what we were doing with the evening, it turned out really well.

here’s the flyer:

igassemblyflyer

we had a few issues – such as not having a neutral timer to keep speeches short (the idea is that everyone has 6 minutes in which to speak but we all ran hopelessly overtime). and we didn’t order enough pizza since we had a bigger turnout than we initially thought, but it was really great to see people who are so different at first appearance connect through a shared mindset, which is totally our objective. we’re hoping to have IG Assembly once a month, alternating in Joburg and Cape Town, so we’re busy planning Jozi as i write this. some pics from the evening:

grant

grant from B-Boy group Ill Rock taught us about the history of b-boys, break beats and how it’s not just dancing, but high-performance athleticism.

uno

Uno took us through his ‘My Documents’ folder – amazingly voyeuristic interest here, thoroughly enjoyed it.

guiseppe

Guiseppe Russo told us about his vision for One Small Seed in South Africa, and about how we need to set a standard and not settle for second best, just because we’re in South Africa.

brad

Brad Armitage told us how he and his partner set up coffee legend Vida e Caffe, with a dream and ever-zealous perfectionism. we can all be grateful to him for Meia de Leits. he also spoke about his new premium beer projects he’s been working on, packaged in champagne bottles. awesome.¬† you can buy them at Vida.

crowd

the crowd, listening.

dancing

some pre-talk dance moves went down.

paul

Paul van der Spuy spoke about some of his past projects, as well as his new venture – Speed Way Cafe, which draws inspiration from the Ace Cafe biker bar in england.

crowd2

more of the audience.

steps

chilling on the steps during a break.

CHUMI

and Chumi simply told us who she is and what inspires here.